Tag Archives: cannabis astrology

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope January

Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Aquarius January will be a month of personal revelations.  As the new year begins, the universe will be sending positive waves of personal growth.

What a wonderful way to start the year my curious WaterBearer.  Open your stash jar.  Inhale the consciousness expanding gifts of the sacred herb.  Open yourself to the positivity flowing into your being.

The cannabis strain does not matter this month stoner Aquarius.  Toke time throughout the month to sink deep within when you spark a bowl to get lifted.

Your curiosity for outward puzzles will turn inward this month.  Don’t fight the feeling to find secluded moments for solo smoke sessions.  Use your cannabis copilot to guide your inquiry within.  There is still so much to learn about yourself stoner Aquarius.

This medicated meditative practice of self inquiry will be as illuminating as the Sun bringing warm rays on a cold day.  With self discovery, the terrestrial plane, and the broader smoke circle, will be unveiled with new sight.  That should make solving terrestrial puzzles so much easier!

Warning Stoner Aquarius:  The positive cosmic vibes will illuminate your aura this month.  It will seem as if your fellow terrestrial astronauts see you in a new light.  Like a magnet with positive attraction, be ready for people to gravitate toward you.  But you must find your inner chill stoner Aquarius.  Frivolous escapades will take you off your progressive mission this month.  

Find new discoveries within, and allow your inner voice to sing.

Virgo Stoner Horoscope January

Virgo
Virgo
Virgo Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Virgo, here … we …. GO!  The adventure of 2021 is now a memory.  We march forward into 2022 with everything we contain within. A new year to manifest our vision and being on our great terrestrial plane.

Our sacred herb is a large part of how we see the landscape in front of us.  Our cannabis copilot opens the doors to reality.  It enhances our third eye to see possibilities.

Know thyself stoner Virgo.  Often, vision isn’t your deficit.  You can create wonderful visions of manifestation, and march like a soldier to your canna-inspired destiny.  

But do you pack more than you can smoke?  Be honest stoner Virgo.  Has a dream of destiny created a mountain of tasks in the past?  Do you sometimes grind up more than you can burn down?

Drive, ambition, and creativity all must be tempered by perspective, humility, and honesty.

Use your cannabis copilot this month to slow down time.  Through regular and moderate meditations with the sacred herb, take a second look at your ambitious plans from a higher perspective. 

This medicated meditative task throughout the month will help you find balance my stoner Virgin.  The goal in life is not to pack the biggest bowl, it’s to enjoy the herb.  Don’t load what you can’t or shouldn’t smoke.  The process will be more fulfilling, and you might find more enjoyment in a higher quality manifestation.  Chill stoner Virgo.  You got this. 

Cancer Stoner Horoscope January

Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Cancer, no one would ever dare to call you complacent. In fact, you are one of the least likely of the stoner Zodiac to succumb to couchlock. But, this month, it may not be such a bad thing if you spend a little more time smoking your favorite herbs from the comfort of your soft sofa or reliable recliner.

This inclination to stay medicated and reclined, is partly due to the fact that the New Year doesn’t necessarily promise the fresh start that it will bring for some. Rest assured, you won’t be forced to relive every chaotic moment of 2021, but you should expect the cosmic haze that has clouded your vision in recent months will linger a bit longer than it will for some of your cannabis companions. 

You don’t have to curb your enthusiasm my eternally-ambitious Crab, but it will be most beneficial to your peace-of-mind if you slow your roll. 

Because this slow rolling, float-on approach is not usually your style, you will need to seek help from the soothing vapors of the sacred herb. Afterall, you don’t want to become known as the chronically cranky Crab, just because the Cosmos is cramping your style.

Open the cannabis cabinet. Seek specific sacred strains for the right moment to find your chill. A couple of my favorite strains that I would recommend during this time are the ever-sweet Gelato, and the always classic Purple Haze.  These strains, and others like them, will help to unleash your creativity without going to your head. Use your cannabis copilot to get your ideas onto paper, but soothe the urge to implement them before they are fully formed.

It may be a challenge in the first couple days of the New Year, but at least for now, my sweet stoner Cancer, the goal is to keep it lowkey and forward looking.  Stay focused on the long game, and avoid rushing ahead.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope January

Taurus
Taurus
Taurus Stoner Horoscope January
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Are you ready stoner Taurus?  I hope so.  2022 gets off to a fast start!  Make sure the stash jars are loaded, and you have enough to share.  

Universal influence in January begins as the ball drops on 2021.  Be ready by the New Moon of the 2nd.  Don’t get caught without your favorite strain or your favorite piece.

There will be strong cosmic waves of positivity centered around matters close to the heart.  This should soften the hard-charging stride of the stoner Bull.  Relationships with close cannabis companions and the stoner fam will reach new highs.

So whether you stock the stash with edible shareables or stand ready to pack a bowl for two, this month will be all about connections with cannabis.

However, be forewarned stoner Taurus:  Don’t get stuck in your own head with lofty expectations.  Don’t place your high-minded ambitions on matters of the heart.  Allow your cannabis copilot to guide you within the universal flow.  Good things will come, you just have to let them happen.

As you find your inner chill with the stoner fam, also seek moderation and caution with spending in January.  I love your ability to charge straight ahead and go for the big wins, but money matters will need more thoughtful consideration.

The beautiful aspect of the celestial influence this month is the fact that your true canna-fam only care about you, not your things.  Sink deep within your support group stoner Taurus.  Toke time to share the good green with your best buds.  Everything else will take care of itself.

Pisces Stoner Horoscope January

Pisces
Pisces
Pisces Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Pisces, if 2021 left you feeling dazed and confused, I’m here to remind you that you’re not alone. Remember that for every low moment, there were hazy highs that provided a counterbalance to those trying and tumultuous times.

While other stoner star signs are focused on New Year’s resolutions, for you, January is about hitting the reset button rather than a complete reimagining. So, take a few weeks to pause, puff, and truly stop to smell and smoke the flowers.

My stoner Pisces, you have been swimming through rough waters, but now you will get to enjoy a more mellow flow as you traverse new cosmic currents. There are really only two things that should be on your to-do list this month:  Cannabis and Contemplation.  There is zero reason to rush, so relax my friendly Fish. 

When it comes to the sinsemilla you smoke during this Winter season, it will be important to find strains that help to mediate your mood.

If you find yourself having trouble breaking away from the daily grind, the sacred herb can bring you solace. When the mind won’t stop racing, reach for the mellow green, my stoney Fish. Classics like Jack Herer will help you find your center, and bring you back to the here and now; other strains like AC/DC will lead you down the highway to well.

Pack the bowl with big buds of Blue Dream and OG Kush when you are vibing nice, and want to keep the positivity flowing. 

You have the whole year ahead of you to reach for the stars stoner Pisces, so for now, it is time to relax here on Earth, and recharge your cosmic spacesuit. You can always look ahead to what the future may hold, but this month, just light one up and let it be.

Smokin Js Anniversary

Gemini Stoner Horoscope September

Dare to dream stoner Gemini.  The September time period is a powerful month for the stoner Twin.  Confidence, diligence, and a positive mental attitude will be the keys to unlocking the cosmic magic manifesting in the first Fall month.

Early in the month toke time with the sacred herb.  Dare to dream stoner Gemini!  Use communions with cannabis to fly high above the terrestrial plane.  See the gears grinding in the economic machine.  What is your place within this structure?

There is universal support for advancement in September.  But this support is not a gift my Twin.  Once you have meditated with the sacred herb to see yourself within the system, action must be taken to increase your position.  Use your cannabis copilot to see through the barriers placed in front of you; then puff puff plan on how to remove these barriers.

You have always been valuable stoner Gemini.  Now it is time to leverage that value, and turn it into influence.

The New Moon rises on the 6th of September.  This Moon phase brings a sense of organization to your physical space.  If you are the type of Twin that struggles to settle the mind for a medicated meditative dive with the sacred herb, then perhaps this early New Moon can be used as an opportunity.

I called for an early medicated meditative dream session with the sacred herb this month.  Perhaps this deep dive can come in concert with the New Moon house cleansing.  Busy hands and a dreaming mind.  There are no rules to meditation or contemplation my creative Twin.

Don’t let fear, uncertainty, and doubt trip up your third eye vision.  Again, this period is filled with support, not gifts.  All action and manifestation must come from within you.

Keep a high CBD, low THC, cannabis strain at the ready this month.  There could be times where fear, uncertainty, and doubt creep into your mental space.  Could you be overthinking it stoner Gemini? 

Use the subdued psychoactive CBD cannabis strain to calm the nerves and quiet the sabotaging mind.  You got this stoner Gemini, it was always within you.

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope September

Stoner Aquarius, you are familiar with, and likely partake in, some form of annual Spring cleaning.  How about the concept of Fall foundation building?  Are you ready?  It might sound like it’s still a long way away, but just like objects in the mirror, 2022 is much closer than it appears!

After the past few months spent on the grind: Working, playing and toking in equal measure.  You may be tempted to light up, kick back, and slow your roll as you move through September. While you have certainly earned a few celebratory bowls for all you accomplished during the simmering Summer season.  But at the risk of harshing your high, my dear stoner Aquarius, I must forewarn that there is still much to be done.

Even if you are feeling satisfied with the spiritual and financial progress you have recently achieved, now is the time to plant the seeds for the prosperity you want to manifest in the future.

In the early days of the month, it will be important to take a physical and mental inventory of everything from the levels of your stash, to your bank account balances, to recent accomplishments, and even current goals. Instead of planting yourself on the couch, resigned to hiding from the oncoming cold in the safety of your smokey oasis, find what inspires you stoner Aquarius. Find what ignites your inner spark, and motivates you to keep it growin’ and groovin’.

Just be sure to not take yourself too seriously my judicious Water-Bearer. You will definitely see a great harvest from all the effort and energy you invest into your worthwhile endeavors. Use the sacred herb as a counterbalance to your daily terrestrial discipline.  Toke time to relax with a freshly packed bowl, or a topshelf pre-roll, to recharge your cosmic spacesuit.  These marijuana moments are all that is needed to maintain your upward trajectory.

It will take effort and focus to strike a balance between imagining infinite possibilities for the future, and transferring the diligent work into fully realized results. Big dreams and high aspirations are a great start, but they don’t amount to much if you never take action to make them happen.

Just remember stoner Aquarius, you are in the captain’s chair:  YOU are the only one who is in control of your cosmic spacesuit.  YOU decide how far or how high you fly. 

No one else can force you to aim higher.  No one else can hold you down. 

So, if you decide to take a break from reaching for the stars, that is okay. Just know that when you shoot for the moon, even if you don’t make it, the view will be all the more spectacular from greater heights.