Tag Archives: cannabis astrology

Taurus Stoner Horoscope June

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Taurus
Taurus
Taurus Stoner Horoscope June
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Stoner Taurus, Summer is finally here!  With everyone spending more time outdoors, puffing the tree amongst the trees, your fellow cannanauts are going to need a place to light up and toke a break when they need to rest. Your own smoke-filled abode could be precisely the hazy oasis needed for people to rest, reup on their energy, and prepare for the next leg of their journey.

No, stoner Taurus, this month you will not be known as the raging Bull. During this time, you will get to show those in your smoke circle a more mellow, kinder, gentler side of the bud-loving bovine. Although it’s not required, it will be a good idea to have plenty of munchies on hand. Afterall, nothing refuels a road-weary terrestrial traveler more than a little THC, and their favorite snacks!

Stoner Taurus, be forewarned:  The Full Moon on the fourteenth can be a particularly tricky day for you.  So be aware that already heightened emotions might be even more overpowering during this time. If possible, this would be a good day to break away from hotboxing with your cannabis companions for some solo medicated meditation.

Even if you are enjoying spending time talkin’ and tokin’, it is important to recharge your own mental and emotional batteries.

Don’t worry stoner Taurus, you won’t have to spend all of your own green to supply everyone who stops by with their recuperative herbal remedies. This June, your place will strictly be BYOB. That’s right, it’s Bring-Your-Own-Buds in the stoner Taurus household.

Of course, sharing is always encouraged. But, your job is to make sure you have plenty of rolling supplies, and to keep your water pipe clean.  After that it’s up to your four-twenty friendly visitors to bring their own favorite frosty nugs to pass around.  Enjoy.

Pisces Stoner Horoscope June

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Pisces
Pisces
Pisces Stoner Horoscope June
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Stoner Pisces, you are the emotional core of the stoner Zodiac. Your ability to empathize remains unmatched, and your willingness to listen, laugh, and light one up with your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts seems endless. 

You should definitely continue the mantra of sharing is caring, just make sure that you are giving yourself the care you need first.  Afterall, it’s great to share a bowl with a friend in need, to puff, puff, and pass on the good vibes, but this doesn’t mean that you have to give away your entire stash and positivity:  Leave some for yourself my friendly Fish.

Don’t worry stoner Pisces if you feel a little like a fish-out-of-water in the early days of the month. This is expected because your usual, chronically calm and cool demeanor is set to get shaken up by the Sun’s invigorating rays. 

At least for the early days of June, you should steer clear of Sativa-dominant strains. The additional solar energy might take a little getting used to. The goal is to harness that extra energy, and channel it into creative endeavors and new adventures; not to end up with your mind racing while you go nowhere fast. 

You should keep your stash jars and smoke sessions filled with Indica-dominant or hybrid strains like Wedding Cake, Blue Dream, or any of the Gorilla Glue family. These feel-good greens will help you harness the power of the Sun, and turn it into forward moving momentum and growth, while still keeping you grounded.

Stoner Pisces, as the month progresses you will get used to operating at a higher energy frequency.  Once the Summer solstice hits on the 21st, all systems and strains are a go!  If any of your current cannabis companions can’t keep up with your newfound fast pace, it’s okay to find a new school of stoners to swim and sesh with for a while.

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope June

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Capricorn
Capricorn
Capricorn Stoner Horoscope June
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Stoner Capricorn, as the temperature heats up and Summer finally gets into full swing, your cannabis companions are going to need you to keep your cool. The month ahead promises to bring you and your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts on one wild ride. But, amidst the epic highs and unavoidable lows, you will be called upon to be a grounding, peaceful presence.

Throughout the month, new acquaintances and age-old canna-buddies alike will be drawn to your kindness and dank buds. Stoner Capricorn, whether they are in need of a few encouraging words of wisdom to help them get through a tough time, or they simply want to share a celebratory bowl when they are on the come up; your partners-in-chronic know that they can count on your door to be open and your stash jars to be full of the frostiest nugs.

But, my stoner Sea-Goat, while your place might be a pitstop for the other signs in the stoner Zodiac to take a break and a bong rip, don’t forget that you have your own adventuring to do. You have your own trails to blaze!

In order to maintain momentum throughout all of June, it will be a good idea to stick to Hybrid strains for the month. You want to be flying high enough to soak up the Sun’s stimulating rays, but still grounded enough to channel the energy into forward, positive progress.

Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a smokey summer vacation, pack your bags stoner Capricorn!  Grab the ganja and hit the open road. As long as you are smoking good green and are traveling with good people, where you go doesn’t matter.

Aries Stoner Horoscope June

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Aries
Aries
Aries Stoner Horoscope June
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The magic of Summer is upon us stoner Aries.  And with the calendar change of season comes the blessing of celestial bodies for the youngest of the stoner Zodiac.

All of your wonderful stoner star sign traits will be the engine that drives positivity this month.

Naivete, enthusiasm, and even a bit of stubbornness will suit you well in the first Summer month.  So pack your stash jar with only your most favorite cannabis strains.  Those herbal delights you find most agreeable will be the best medicine for a blessed period.

One important aspect of June will be the emotional aperture created by planetary alignment.  Don’t read into this too much stoner Aries.  The emotional floodgates may open you to feeling and understanding the nature and wonderment of the world around you.

Toke time to light a spliff, and enjoy the enlightened connection between you and the universe.  Your connected cannabis copilot will only enhance the voyage.

And yes stoner Aries, your enthusiastic energy will bring you bountiful learned experiences in June.  Soak it up!  Meditative smoke sessions will be filled with research and knowledgeable quests instead of deep inner digs.

The only stress or strain may be found in the final decade of the month.  But each stoner Aries will have their individual challenge to face.  Just remember my resilient Ram:  You are an amazing creature capable of anything you set your mind to.

By the end of the month all sacred bowls will be in balance.  Perhaps a shared smoke session with a cannabuddy will solidify the magic created, and push positivity into the next period.

Dragon Shooter Steamroller

Virgo Stoner Horoscope May

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Virgo
Virgo
Virgo Stoner Horoscope May
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Stoner Virgo, the final Spring month may set up as a battle of ideas.  Perhaps a conflict between natural traits and cosmic influence.  Maybe even a debate between planning and action.  The great news is that there is no better stoner star sign to have a contemplative debate with themselves more so than the stoner Virgo.

My sweet Virgin you will feel at home in May.  Inward contemplation assisted by your cannabis copilot will come easy, and provide sparks of inspiration for action.  However, use caution with high minded communications.  These self reflected marijuana musings might not be ready for smoke circle consumption.

If simple conversations take a defensive or heated tone, step out to toke time to reflect.  You are highly capable stoner Virgo, but an endless argument leads to a dead end of frustration every time.

Thus the debate of the month becomes like that stoney Clash classic, Should I Stay or Should I Go.  Your natural trait, and universal influence, will favor a contemplative stoner Virgo with planning smoke sessions in solitude.  But a brisk cosmic breeze of social energy will tempt the Virgin to the flame of smoke circle dynamics.

There will be times to share a joint, and a philosophical exploration.  There will be times to forgo challenging topics with cannabis companions.  And there will be times to jump into the smoke circle, but keep your secrets and plans to yourself.

It’s all up to you stoner Virgo.  Trust yourself.  Trust the sacred herbal influence.  And trust your connection to the universe. 

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope May

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Scorpio
Scorpio
Scorpio Stoner Horoscope May
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Oh stoner Scorpio, what an interesting life you live.  The final Spring month will be no different.

The itch for change remains.  But universal energy is strengthening the key trait of solitude.  I had to take an extra pull on my own joint to work on this reading!

Toke time for yourself in the first half of May stoner Scorpio.  Your private nature is strengthened by cosmic winds of internal contemplation.  However, with these early smoke sessions, please take note of the marijuana smoke.  Your fellow terrestrial cannanauts cannot know your intentions or plans without your communication.

Yes, decisions and direction must come from internal contemplation my persnipity Scorpion; but everyone can use some guidance and assistance from their canna-crew.  Toke about it and talk about it stoner Scorpio.

May is split in two by the total Lunar eclipse on the 15th.

Even though the month is split, the work put into the beginning of the month will assist you at the end of the month.  Powerful energy will surround the stoner Scorpio after the Full Moon.

The itch for change and the potential repression of feelings could come pouring out.  Make sure to have your stash jars loaded with Indica strains surrounding this Lunar event.

Your stinger is sharp stoner Scopio.  Be careful not to injure your cannabis companions with undesired collateral damage from high energy surges during this time.

The sedative nature of the Indica species might help soothe your sharp instincts, and find contemplation over attack.

However, stoner Scorpio hear me now:  Switch to Sativa strains after the few days of energy overload are over.  We are meant to be in balance; the peak in energy will be followed by a valley.

Wow what a month my valiant Scorpion.  Take care of others, and be sure to toke time with yourself.  Seek wisdom and balance.  Everything is going to be ok.

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope May

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Sagittarius
Sagittarius
Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope May
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Stoner Sagittarius, as we enter into peak Spring, the birds are singing, the buds are blooming, and the sweet scent of sinsemilla fills the air. Of course, you should stop to smell the roses, and to smoke your favorite kind of flowers, but you should also pay attention to the growth of your financial greens this month.

Stoner Sag, avoid getting your head stuck in the clouds.  If you keep yourself grounded, and focused on tangible goals, you will have amazing opportunities.  Perhaps expansion of your finances, and maybe even elevate your position both on and off the clock.

The time for waiting is over my steady stoner Archer. The time for doing is now! Apply for that promotion you know you’re qualified for. Or, take the leap, and switch to a job where your creativity can help you advance in your career, and where your passions will help you earn your paycheck.

If you do choose to blaze new trails stoner Sag, try to keep the pipe at home, and keep your work grind ganja free.  At least in the early days of this transition.

A cosmic haze will hang in the air most of the month and can result in misunderstandings among even the closest partners-in-chronic or four-twenty friendly coworkers. So, keep your mind clear while on the job.  You don’t want any other factors disrupting lines of communication.

Remember stoner Sagittarius, when it comes to manifesting your dreams into reality:  You can wish for them to come true, or you can work to make them happen.  One will get you there much faster.

Breathe easy stoner Sagittarius, it won’t be all work and no play in May. When the weekends hit, grab your travel pipe, and your favorite recreational reefer, and hit the open road.  Summer is quickly approaching, and the many stoney trails you will blaze all begin with a single puff.

Smokin Js Anniversary

Libra Stoner Horoscope May

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Libra
Libra
Libra Stoner Horoscope May
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If I could pick one strain to define this period for stoner Libras, it would be Trainwreck. This month will hit you hard.  It will take you on a wild ride through intense emotions.  But in the end it will leave you feeling healed and lighter than you were before.

While the effects of Trainwreck paint a picture of what to expect during May, it doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be your particular herbal prescription for the month. You can stock your stash jars full with whatever types of kind buds you please.

But, the secret to sustaining your infamous Libra Equilibrium will be to have a wide range of strains at your combustible disposal.  A selection that can provide you with a variety of effects to help you stay calm, cool, and centered as you navigate through the cosmic chaos.

Stoner Libra, in addition to your regular regiment of recreational reefer, spending quality time with your cannabis companions will be a necessity in May.  Quality time with your best buds will help maintain balance as you navigate the highs and lows of your own emotional journey.

Stoner Libra, you don’t usually have any problems being outgoing, sociable, and friendly. You are always down to puff, puff, and pass the pipe with your partners-in-chronic. And you are known to lead by example and embody the saying, “Sharing is caring.”

But it is also true that sometimes you hide behind the smoke, instead of sharing how you really feel.  Opening up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable can be daunting, but it is necessary in order to grow spiritually and emotionally.

Just inhale a deep breath of the sacred herb stoner Libra. Ingest the calming cannabis vapors, and let your feelings and words flow freely. You may discover that your willingness to talk about your inner workings will inspire someone near you to light up, and finally let go of what’s been holding them back.

Leo Stoner Horoscope May

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Leo
Leo
Leo Stoner Horoscope May
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Stoner Leo the final month of Spring enters into a period of conflict and turmoil.  But you don’t have to participate.

Usually the Lion leads the pack:  The first to break buds and pack bowls.  The universe is sending cosmic chaos to the stoner Zodiac.  Perhaps this month the stoner Leo will be a leader through absentia by example.

Fill the stash jars with pure Indica strains, and Indica dominant hybrids.  Calm, cool, and collected will be your mantra and impetus this month my leary Lion.

After the first decade of the month you will be able to witness your extended smoke circle enveloped by chaotic clouds of cosmic influence.  It is not your role to lead others to safety this month, but instead be the leader of example with your chill demeanor.

The reading I give as a general theme will be most felt surrounding the Lunar Eclipse on the 15th.  Toke time with the sacred herb in the days before the Full Moon to meditate and contemplate your action as a leader through inaction as a dramatic participant.

This time surrounding the Full Moon will be a great time for solo smoke sessions and solo projects around the house.  Use your third eye, stoner Leo, to avoid confrontation and conflict within the extended smoke circle.

Before you know it the final decade of the month will be present, and you will notice cosmic clouds start to lift from the stoner Zodiac.  This will be your sign to re-enter the terrestrial landscape as your usual outgoing self.  By the end of the month you will be breaking buds, and matching bowls with your stoner tribe once again.

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope May

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Capricorn
Capricorn
Capricorn Stoner Horoscope May
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Stoner Capricorn, you can expect your May to be filled with peaceful days of puffing your favorite buds with your favorite people. While the cosmos does not have any cataclysmic events in store for you this month, it is the overflow from the dramatics of the smoke circle that you will have to watch out for.

Other star signs in the stoner Zodiac may find themselves a little more on edge as some planets cast shadows of illusion, and create tensions where normally there wouldn’t be. Stoner Capricorn, while you may not be able to avoid encountering those who are having a rougher month than you, you can control how much you are affected by their negative vibrations.

My stoner Sea-Goat, while shying away, and avoiding all social interactions is one way to protect your own spritely spirits from being brought down, it is not the most advisable.

The best way to keep your own mood elevated, and your optimistic attitude flying high is by sticking to a consistent, smoke-filled regiment of selfcare. Afterall, a little medicated meditation can work wonders. 

Don’t be afraid to dip out to sneak-a-toke if you are feeling a little overwhelmed by the stuff happening to your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts. Afterall, with everything going on in their own orbit, they may not even notice you left.

Stoner Capricorn, I am not saying you have to pass on all the social smoke sessions. But it may be a good idea to keep your smoke circle limited to invite only. 

There are few situations when tensions flare between best buds that the peace pipe can’t help calm. But a bunch of stoney strangers is a different story. So my indulgent Sea-Goat, as long as you know the people you’re sharing your pipe with, you will spend the month of May in good company:  Making great memories smoking the finest greens.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope May

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Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope May
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Stoner Cancer, the days are getting longer, and the temperatures are heating up as Summer draws closer. So why does it still feel like gray clouds are hanging heavy overhead, and spring showers will never end?

Look around you stoner Cancer. If the sun’s out, and the skies are clear, but you still find yourself feeling hazy or blue, you may want to turn your focus from upward to inward.

Maybe you haven’t been able to fully shake off the melancholy that marred the Winter months. Perhaps grinding day-in and day-out has left you feeling more like a cog stuck in the corporate machine, and less like your usual chronic-loving Crabby self.

The universe is not conspiring to harsh your high stoner Cancer.  It will be up to you, with a little help from some sacred healing herbs, to get your groove back. In the early days of the month, take a step back and toke time to light up, rise up, and look at your situation from an elevated perspective. 

Remember my contemplative Crab, meditation can be manifested in many forms. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to hide away in a silent smoke-filled room, reflecting on past failures or resolving to do better in the future. 

Of course, you can choose to fire up a bowl of the greenest ganja, and pursue your peace by yourself. But you can also find your state of Zen on a Saturday afternoon spent with your cannabis companions hiking to your favorite smoke spot. 

Stoner Cancer, just know that you hold the key to making the most of May. Learn to light up and let go of whatever might be weighing you down, and your spirits will continue to rise with the temperature the whole month through.

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope May

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Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius Stoner Horoscope May
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They say April showers bring May flowers. And you can be certain this month, stoner Aquarius, will be full of all kinds of flowers!  The kind that smell good, the kind you smoke, and the kind that smell good when you smoke them!

While other signs are trying to feel their way through the lingering cosmic clouds this Spring, you will get to light up and breathe easy throughout the rest of the season. Stoner Aquarius, you have the Sun to thank for the warming days, but this month, it is the celestial alignment that ensures this May will be a chronically good one.

Stoner Aquarius, since you will be the one whose spirit feels light and shines bright, it will be up to you to serve as a gleaming guide to your fellow terrestrial cannanauts. Your positivity will be a beacon of calm to all your road weary cannabis companions.  Allow your shining aura to show them the way to a more peaceful destination. And if any of your cannabis companions do fall behind, they will always find their way back by following the scent of that sweet sinsemilla.

You don’t have to wait for summer to hit the trails my wandering Water Bearer. If the sun is shining, you should be out exploring!  Grab your travel piece, some grade-A ganja, and take your stoney sessions back to your favorite outdoors smoke spots.

The Full Moon happens on the 16th this month. It will be a great night to get together with all your partners-in-chronic to celebrate the Lunar Eclipse. You don’t have to go wild stoner Aquarius, just toke the time to light up, look to the sky, and let everyone’s troubles float away with the smoke.

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope April

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Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Aquarius, if in March you finally felt like you were heating up, April finds you blazing bright, and moving full speed ahead. It’s no longer about breaking out of your funk, this month the goal is to keep your groove growing.

The winning recipe this season is pretty simple:  Keep doing more of what’s been working, and let the things that aren’t flowing, float away with the smoke.

This includes sticking with the strains that uplift and invigorate you, while avoiding those that call you back to the sluggish sanctuary of your couch.

It all depends upon the kind of motivation you are looking for my ambitious Water-Bearer. Here are a few strains to seek out and toke up this month, depending upon your mood!

Super Lemon Haze:  For when you are looking for inspiration, or wanting to unleash your creativity. Just like biting into the most sour citrus fruit, this strain will have you feeling invigorated and thinking:  ‘What can’t I do?!’

Strawberry Cough Diesel:  Don’t be fooled by the name, this strain can be an amazingly smooth smoke.  Stoner Aquarius you can expect a full-bodied warm feeling leaving you maximally relaxed, while also freeing your mind to soar to new heights.

Harlequin GDP:  A personal favorite, and recommendation for those who have been skeptical of Sativa dominant varieties in the past. Never too racy, this strain is an excellent specimen for when you are looking for that ‘mellow yellow’ kind of vibe. This one is for when you want to get in the zone without feeling overzealous.

Of course, stoner Aquarius, you can smoke any kind and variety of cannabis you want. But, if I could offer one piece of advice this month it would be:  No matter what dutchie you choose to puff on, know that it will be even better when you get to pass it to a cannabis companion sitting on your left-hand side.

Aries Stoner Horoscope April

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Aries
Aries
Aries Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Aries, the days of smoking the dankest nugs at home on the couch are over; at least the couch part of the equation!  Spring is in full swing so grab your buds, and your trusty travel piece; it’s time to take your smoke sessions on the road!

March was meant to be a mellow and mindful month. A season for solo smoke sessions with the sacred herb.  A time to inhale those insight-expanding vapors while you relax and recharge your cosmic space suit.

But even if it was a spiritually and mentally rejuvenating season, vegetative time is coming to an end. Now it’s grow time my rejuvenated Ram! 

It’s time to branch out, to rejoin the social smoke circle, and get back to puff puff passing time in the company of your favorite cannabis companions. 

With the New Moon ushering in a season of reflection and rebirth for almost all signs of the Stoner Zodiac, there will be plenty for you to catch up on while you talk and toke with the best buds.

Stoner Aries, you might be feeling a little anxious at the idea of getting back to smoking in larger groups. With everyone undergoing notable transformation, you might be worried that you may have outgrown each other.

It might sound cliche, but the best way to overcome this concern is simple:  Be yourself!  Don’t hide behind the smoke. Light up and let the fire illuminate your four-twenty-friendly, charismatic self.

If confrontation with any of your cannabis companions does arise, just smoke your cannabis and speak your piece my reefer-loving Ram. Sometimes people change and do grow apart. It doesn’t mean that you’re wrong or that they’re right. Sometimes different is just that, different.

Just remember stoner Aries, the more you share the more you will care. The more you enjoy fellowship while sharing bowls of the sacred herb, the better you will communicate, and the easier it will be to meet on common ground.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope April

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Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Cancer, there will be almost nothing you will have to be crabby about this April. The flowers are budding, the days are getting longer, and your attitude is on the rise. As long as you keep your stash jars at equally high levels, the forecast is looking up.

The cosmic haze that hung over the first few months of 2022 has lifted, leaving nothing but bright skies and wide-open roads. Just remember that while the path ahead may be clear stoner Cancer, it will be up to you as to how far you wander.

After a cool winter spent cooped-up inside, toking Indica on the couch, it’s time to switch to more stimulating Sativa cannabis strains, and take your smoke sessions outside!  Nothing says Spring-is-here like hitting up your best buds to cloud-up your favorite outdoor smoke spots. My chronic-loving Crab, whenever the weather allows, you should be enjoying your nugs out in Nature.  Puffing tree among the trees.

It may not be warm enough for extended getaways, but it’s definitely a good opportunity to do some reconnaissance for future endo-excursions. Now is the perfect time to map out the paths you want to blaze during the coming months. And although we’re not in full summertime adventure mode quite yet, a few dank-filled day trips will hold you over in the meantime.

My confident stoner Crab, it has been a while since you’ve felt this level of high spirit.  Be courageous and ready to conquer whatever the cosmos has in store. This month, breathe deep the invigorating vapors of the sweet sinsemilla, and let it lift you even higher. Regardless of how slow or low the year has felt so far, know that this season, nothing can bring you down!

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope April

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Capricorn
Capricorn
Capricorn Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Capricorn of all the stoner Zodiac, you’ve had one of the most clouded and challenging beginnings to your year. I say ‘beginning’, but you are well aware that it’s been three rough and wild months of doing your best to navigate your way through the cosmic chaos.

Well, there is finally some good news my ambitious stoner Sea-Goat. Regardless of whether or not it’s written in the stars, you will be surrounded by more than just the sweet scent of sinsemilla.  This month, change is in the air!

And even better, the form this change takes will be manifested by you.  You are in control!

Be sure to toke before you take action stoner Capricorn. Spend the first days of April in deep thought with some healing, yet heady herbs. But be mindful that these earliest smoke sessions should be all about meaningful meditation. 

The goal of this time spent with cannabis is about cultivating clarity of third-eye sight, and clearing the mind of distraction. You don’t want to spend hours spaced out, lost in thought, only to find yourself more clouded than when you started.

Don’t worry stoner Capricorn, you won’t have to face this transition from chaos to tranquility all by yourself. With the New Moon happening on the dawn of the month, you will have a tangible turning point to mark the end of the tumultuous months.  There is a clear celestial line to begin your new journey along a more positive path.

Stoner Capricorn this hard-earned peace is something to commemorate. By the end of the month your smoke sessions will turn away from contemplation, and take on a more celebratory tone. Invite your partners-in-chronic to share in your good fortune and good ganja; because from here on out stoner Capricorn, life is only going to be top shelf for you!

Gemini Stoner Horoscope April

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Gemini
Gemini
Gemini Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Gemini, up to this point, it may feel like not much has happened for you this year. So far, you may not have seen the seeds planted at the New Year grow as much as you had hoped. But I’m here to tell you to take a deep breath, take a few stress relieving tokes of the marijuana smoke, and relax my terrestrial Twin.

It’s officially the first full month of Spring! You can expect to see your spiritual and financial gardens experience noticeable growth. Remember stoner Gemini, that when it comes to our plants and our plans, time spent in a vegetative state is just as important as when they start to bloom.

Sure, this period of slow growth may not be the most exciting, but it is crucial in creating a strong, healthy foundation. This incubation time is the groundwork for everything that follows; after all, the tallest trees only reach great heights if their roots run deep.

Stoner Gemini, the most substantial growth will be in the realm of work. As long as you maintain your ambitious momentum, your peers and the higher ups will notice your contributions to the team. At least for the first couple weeks it will be best to stay off the pipe when you’re on the clock.

This month, you want to keep your work-grind and your herbal-grind separate. So, save those sweet, sticky bowls to celebrate a good day’s work, instead of slowing down your brain at work.

My stoner Twin, April isn’t going to be all work and no play. Your time outside of the office will be as hazy as ever. You’re not the only sign of the stoner Zodiac who had a slow start to the year. Your cannabis companions are coming out of Winter hibernation, and ready to blaze up with you under the bright Spring sun.

Leo Stoner Horoscope April

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Leo
Leo
Leo Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Leo:  What’s that bright fiery object floating high up in the sky? No, it’s not a comet or a UFO, it’s the Sun! And this month my fiery Lion, you too will be a shining star.

In April it doesn’t matter if you’re a moonchild or not, all in the stoner Zodiac will get the opportunity for a fresh start. The New Moon happening at the dawn of the month means you can let all of the setbacks, and the false starts the year has brought so far, go up in smoke.

Some days were tinted with a glossy ganja glow, other times even the most enlightening cannabis couldn’t help you see through the fray. But now you will be able to light up, lift off, and rise above the haze.

Stoner Leo, set aside time early in the month for a deep dive into your subconscious. Breathe deep the perspective expanding vapors of the sacred herb, and allow the illusion of impossibility burn away with every puff.

With your third-eye open, you will have a new clarity of sight for the path ahead.  Your destination is wherever you want to go!

You no longer have to conform to the role of a cautious cat.  You can get back to your true form:  The loud-smoking, fierce and fiery Leader of the Pack.

We may not be officially in the season of Leo, but you are definitely in your element. Everything from the daily grind to the biggest sesh will be no match for you my stoner Lion. 

Just like the Spring causes the plants to bloom, and the greens to bud, you will help your cannabis companions flourish when they are in your presence. So roar loud and roast often stoner Leo, because once you ignite the fire inside of you, nothing will be able to put it out!

Pisces Stoner Horoscope April

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Pisces
Pisces
Pisces Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Pisces, March was all about breaking away from the smoke circle to sit quietly with your thoughts and the sacred herb. It was a time to light up, to look inward, and take some much needed ‘Me Time.’ 

Hopefully you took advantage of this period to recreate, reflect, and hit the reset button. Because this month you will be rejoining your fellow tokin’ terrestrial cannanauts for happening hangouts and hotbox sessions.

We start April off with a New Moon my frisky Fish. Which aligns perfectly for showing your partners-in-chronic the new you. And whether or not they notice your rediscovered inner peace, they are sure to notice you have gotten your groove back. So roll up a few joints, and invite your cannabis companions to join you in a celebratory smoke session.

Stoner Pisces everything seems to be on the rise this April. The weather is heating up, your optimism is elevated, and you can even expect to grow your financial greens too!

Just remember that while building up your bank account is nice, it can be even easier to burn through those hard-earned bucks. To ensure your accounts don’t dip into the red, you will have to balance your eagerness to earn, and your readiness to spend.

After the bills are paid, go ahead and splurge a little stoner Pisces. Treat yourself to some of your favorite top shelf buds, or a few extra edibles for the weekend. But, remember that you will save more, and can even smoke more, by sticking with mid-shelf selections most days.

Stoner Pisces, you should still make medicated meditation sessions part of your weekly routine.  Maintain the calm you’ve cultivated over the past couple months. But, with Spring in full bloom, it’s time to light up and let loose. Your year may have started out with a slow burn my friendly Fish, but by the end of April, you’ll be blazing with the best of them.

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope April

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Sagittarius
Sagittarius
Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Sagittarius, with the Full Moon happening on the dawn of the month, you will experience a spark of inspiration and energy that will keep your spirit blazing throughout April!

Although it will be up to you to keep your stash jars filled with good greens and the frostiest nugs, one thing you can count on is that good times and ganja vibes will be in no short supply.

If you are a single stoner Sag, and there is an old flame you want to reignite, or a new romantic prospect you want to spend more time with, April is the perfect season to fire up a bowl together, and find out if the feeling is mutual. 

And if you already have that special cannabis companion to share that sacred smoke with, then April will be an emotionally fulfilling and fiery month for sure. 

Stoner Sagittarius, during this period when we talk about the economic grind, know that it doesn’t strictly pertain only to your time at work. You will easily rise above all expectations of your job, so right now your focus should be on the activities after you clock out for the day.

Roast up at the river my smokey Sagittarius. Fire up your favorite flower out in the meadow, or light up at the lake. Any day you are able to spark up outside of the house will be a day well spent.

Be confident my ambitious Archer that no matter how high you aim, you are sure to hit your mark in April. Know that when you are done puffing and playing out in Nature, you can return to your stoney sanctuary for a more relaxing smoke session to get some rest before the next chapter of your endo-adventure!

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope March

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Scorpio
Scorpio Stoner Horoscope March
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It will be hard to deny the positivity stoner Scorpio.  The days are getting longer, and that fresh Spring feeling is traveling through the air.  I warned you that the first couple months of 2022 would be a test of internal fortitude; but now it’s time to open the curtains, smile at your neighbors, and seek out communal ganja gatherings once again!

Toke time to seal the blessings from the universe with a solo meditative smoke session on or around the New Moon of the 2nd.  Create a comfy safe space to explore your internal drives with your cannabis spirit guide.  Inhale the positivity of the plant, and exhale your positive wishes onto the terrestrial world.  The power of this manifesting marijuana meditation will be felt throughout the month.

Feel the love and positivity stoner Scorpio.  It will serve you well immediately.  Cosmic winds of conflict could arise in the work sphere in the weeks after the New Moon.  But with cannabis infused universal blessings manifesting, these conflicts will be seen as the simple obstacles that they are.  

We can’t all be on the same page, or within the same sacred space of perception.  Your internal guide will create an ease of understanding toward your fellow man that should transcend any turmoil.

Potentially the magic of the month will be surrounding the Full Moon on the 18th.  This special Moon will blast a bright glow of openness often discarded by the stoner Scorpion.  Seek out your close cannabis companions for a philosophical smoke circle of sharing.  Match bowls with the canna-crew, and share stories.

Yes, share yourself stoner Scorpio.  You never know what you might learn by stepping out with the sacred herb as your guide among close cannabis companions.

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope March

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Sagittarius
Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Sagittarius it’s been a while since your true nature was able to stretch out unbridled on the terrestrial plane.  As much as you appreciate internal strategizing and building a plan, your core drives are out campaigning in the wild unknown.

This month will not satiate your internal desire, but it will continue building toward that end.  

Be prepared early in the month for communal smoke sessions with the broader smoke circle.  Stock the sacred treasure chest of cannabis with varied species and delivery methods.

The recent past has been filled with internal missions with your cannabis copilot.  Now internal sacred meditative strategizing smoke sessions will turn toward intel gathering amongst the ganja gang.  But be forewarned my stealthy Archer:  Remain rooted to your own domain or within verified safe spaces.  Universal influence surrounding outbound adventure remains obscured with inauspicious darkness.

Cosmic favor leans toward intelligent smoke sessions with the broader smoke circle, but do so only in verified, comfortable, guarded spaces.

This premonition has a double meaning as the month progresses.  What may appear to be intel gathering on a personal level for future adventure, will morph into strategizing for missions in the business sphere.  I appreciate you long for the action of battle my fierce Archer.  But no great garden of victory grew without a contemplative placement of well sewn seeds.

Yes stoner Sag, adventure is coming.  As with the internal medicated meditative smoke sessions in the recent past, this month is a natural progression supported by cosmic design toward the ends of your true purpose.  Wow, it must be heavy to be you.

Leo Stoner Horoscope March

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Leo
Leo Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Leo, what do you do when a plant gets too big for its current pot? You transfer it to a bigger pot of course. Those roots need space to grow!

So far in the year you have been making forward progress, but maybe not as far and as fast as it could be. This March you too will need to find your own bigger pot with fresh, nutrient rich soil to let your roots grow deeper, and to allow room for your branches to spread.

You will always be the loud-smoking, leader-of-the-pack Lion, but right now you need to break away from the pride. It’s time to take a break from focusing on the rest of the pack to pack a bowl for one. Spend the month of March resting and reflecting on what makes you roar my stoner Lion.

It’s not about the grass being greener on the other side, it’s about nurturing your own garden so you can flourish, and grow to your greatest potential. Sometimes this means you have to shed old leaves to make way for new buds.

Your strain selection should reflect your goal of maximizing both your spiritual and physical expansion. You can go for maximum diversity by picking a couple Indica and a few Sativa options. This way you can match your strains to whatever your mood and the moment calls for. Or you can gather a few Hybrids that can be cerebrally stimulating yet will still keep you grounded in the terrestrial world.

Although growth is the theme and focus this month, know that it doesn’t stop when the month ends. Build the groundwork now stoner Leo, and you will continue growin’ and tokin’ the whole year through.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope March

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Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Cancer, at this point, you may be feeling a bit jealous of some of the other signs in the stoner Zodiac. Maybe you are a little annoyed at having watched some of your peers start the year with a meteoric rise, while you seemed to find yourself stuck on the launch pad. Well buckle up stoner Cancer, and prepare for takeoff, because this month it’s all systems go!

While you saw those in your sphere blast off and blaze bright at first, they didn’t do a very good job pacing themselves for the long haul. Now, you are seeing those same cannabis cosmonauts crashing back down to earth, out of gas, and low on green energy.  And it’s only March.

This month, light up and breathe easy my contemplative Crab; the days you spent at a slow burn will start to pay off. Those days when you thought you were falling behind, were really about preparing your cosmic space suit for the many terrestrial travels ahead. 

By rationing your reefer and energy over the past couple months, you have built up your reserves and ensured you will have enough of both to make this Spring one of the most happening and haziest ever.

Stoner Cancer, avoid making the same mistakes as your cannabis companions whose endo-adventures ended prematurely. In other words:  Slow your roll.

Keep your eye on your destination, but don’t forget to enjoy the journey. Toke the scenic route stoner Cancer. Feel the wind on your face, and those sweet sacred vapors in your lungs, as you make pit stops at your favorite smoke spots.

Stoner Cancer, you may feel like you’re finally getting your cosmic groove back. Just be sure to keep it moving at a sustainable pace, otherwise you risk running out of steam before you get to the hot and happy days of summer.

Aries Stoner Horoscope March

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Aries
Aries Stoner Horoscope March
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Ok stoner Aries, the hangover of the slow start to 2022 is over.  Did you toke time to recover in February?  A cosmic window of opportunity is opening in March.  A new day you might say is upon us.

This transition into a more positive mental space comes right away in the first Spring month.  The New Moon on the 2nd marks a universal cleansing.  But, my rambunctious Ram, the blessings of this cosmic changeover might be felt differently depending upon the recuperative steps taken in February.

Be honest stoner Aries:  Did you toke time with cannabis to slow yourself down in the final Winter month?  Did you use the sacred herb to heal, and seek internal guidance?

There is great news for those Aries who addressed their physical aches, and mental anguish, with recuperative smoke sessions.  Now the landscape will shift.  Bowls will seem a bit brighter.  Circumstances may not appear to change, but the ideas and attitudes gleaned from those sacred moments with cannabis will shift into notes of positivity and hope.

For those stoner Aries who did not heed the words to slow down, and toke time for self in February, all is not lost; but there is still work to be done.  Absolutely this New Moon on the 2nd must be used to make up for lost time.  Sink deep into self with a solo medicated meditative smoke session in a safe space.

There are dangers in leaning into a state of melancholy with an internal self assessment.  However, the universe has your back finally!  Great discoveries await by connecting you with yourself through an exercise with cannabis.  Perhaps after this exercise you can catch up to your advanced brethren, and truly feel the positive shifts in the cosmic winds during March.

No matter your past, or your future, things will start to heat up this month.  A welcome cosmic warmth for any adventurous stoner Ram.  Use the cannabis connection with your third eye sight to see the hill in front of you.  Pipes are warming, but there are many bowls yet to be burnt before the peak is mounted.

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope January

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Aquarius
Aquarius Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Aquarius January will be a month of personal revelations.  As the new year begins, the universe will be sending positive waves of personal growth.

What a wonderful way to start the year my curious WaterBearer.  Open your stash jar.  Inhale the consciousness expanding gifts of the sacred herb.  Open yourself to the positivity flowing into your being.

The cannabis strain does not matter this month stoner Aquarius.  Toke time throughout the month to sink deep within when you spark a bowl to get lifted.

Your curiosity for outward puzzles will turn inward this month.  Don’t fight the feeling to find secluded moments for solo smoke sessions.  Use your cannabis copilot to guide your inquiry within.  There is still so much to learn about yourself stoner Aquarius.

This medicated meditative practice of self inquiry will be as illuminating as the Sun bringing warm rays on a cold day.  With self discovery, the terrestrial plane, and the broader smoke circle, will be unveiled with new sight.  That should make solving terrestrial puzzles so much easier!

Warning Stoner Aquarius:  The positive cosmic vibes will illuminate your aura this month.  It will seem as if your fellow terrestrial astronauts see you in a new light.  Like a magnet with positive attraction, be ready for people to gravitate toward you.  But you must find your inner chill stoner Aquarius.  Frivolous escapades will take you off your progressive mission this month.  

Find new discoveries within, and allow your inner voice to sing.

Virgo Stoner Horoscope January

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Virgo
Virgo Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Virgo, here … we …. GO!  The adventure of 2021 is now a memory.  We march forward into 2022 with everything we contain within. A new year to manifest our vision and being on our great terrestrial plane.

Our sacred herb is a large part of how we see the landscape in front of us.  Our cannabis copilot opens the doors to reality.  It enhances our third eye to see possibilities.

Know thyself stoner Virgo.  Often, vision isn’t your deficit.  You can create wonderful visions of manifestation, and march like a soldier to your canna-inspired destiny.  

But do you pack more than you can smoke?  Be honest stoner Virgo.  Has a dream of destiny created a mountain of tasks in the past?  Do you sometimes grind up more than you can burn down?

Drive, ambition, and creativity all must be tempered by perspective, humility, and honesty.

Use your cannabis copilot this month to slow down time.  Through regular and moderate meditations with the sacred herb, take a second look at your ambitious plans from a higher perspective. 

This medicated meditative task throughout the month will help you find balance my stoner Virgin.  The goal in life is not to pack the biggest bowl, it’s to enjoy the herb.  Don’t load what you can’t or shouldn’t smoke.  The process will be more fulfilling, and you might find more enjoyment in a higher quality manifestation.  Chill stoner Virgo.  You got this. 

Cancer Stoner Horoscope January

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Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Cancer, no one would ever dare to call you complacent. In fact, you are one of the least likely of the stoner Zodiac to succumb to couchlock. But, this month, it may not be such a bad thing if you spend a little more time smoking your favorite herbs from the comfort of your soft sofa or reliable recliner.

This inclination to stay medicated and reclined, is partly due to the fact that the New Year doesn’t necessarily promise the fresh start that it will bring for some. Rest assured, you won’t be forced to relive every chaotic moment of 2021, but you should expect the cosmic haze that has clouded your vision in recent months will linger a bit longer than it will for some of your cannabis companions. 

You don’t have to curb your enthusiasm my eternally-ambitious Crab, but it will be most beneficial to your peace-of-mind if you slow your roll. 

Because this slow rolling, float-on approach is not usually your style, you will need to seek help from the soothing vapors of the sacred herb. Afterall, you don’t want to become known as the chronically cranky Crab, just because the Cosmos is cramping your style.

Open the cannabis cabinet. Seek specific sacred strains for the right moment to find your chill. A couple of my favorite strains that I would recommend during this time are the ever-sweet Gelato, and the always classic Purple Haze.  These strains, and others like them, will help to unleash your creativity without going to your head. Use your cannabis copilot to get your ideas onto paper, but soothe the urge to implement them before they are fully formed.

It may be a challenge in the first couple days of the New Year, but at least for now, my sweet stoner Cancer, the goal is to keep it lowkey and forward looking.  Stay focused on the long game, and avoid rushing ahead.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope January

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Taurus
Taurus Stoner Horoscope January
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Are you ready stoner Taurus?  I hope so.  2022 gets off to a fast start!  Make sure the stash jars are loaded, and you have enough to share.  

Universal influence in January begins as the ball drops on 2021.  Be ready by the New Moon of the 2nd.  Don’t get caught without your favorite strain or your favorite piece.

There will be strong cosmic waves of positivity centered around matters close to the heart.  This should soften the hard-charging stride of the stoner Bull.  Relationships with close cannabis companions and the stoner fam will reach new highs.

So whether you stock the stash with edible shareables or stand ready to pack a bowl for two, this month will be all about connections with cannabis.

However, be forewarned stoner Taurus:  Don’t get stuck in your own head with lofty expectations.  Don’t place your high-minded ambitions on matters of the heart.  Allow your cannabis copilot to guide you within the universal flow.  Good things will come, you just have to let them happen.

As you find your inner chill with the stoner fam, also seek moderation and caution with spending in January.  I love your ability to charge straight ahead and go for the big wins, but money matters will need more thoughtful consideration.

The beautiful aspect of the celestial influence this month is the fact that your true canna-fam only care about you, not your things.  Sink deep within your support group stoner Taurus.  Toke time to share the good green with your best buds.  Everything else will take care of itself.

Pisces Stoner Horoscope January

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Pisces
Pisces Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Pisces, if 2021 left you feeling dazed and confused, I’m here to remind you that you’re not alone. Remember that for every low moment, there were hazy highs that provided a counterbalance to those trying and tumultuous times.

While other stoner star signs are focused on New Year’s resolutions, for you, January is about hitting the reset button rather than a complete reimagining. So, take a few weeks to pause, puff, and truly stop to smell and smoke the flowers.

My stoner Pisces, you have been swimming through rough waters, but now you will get to enjoy a more mellow flow as you traverse new cosmic currents. There are really only two things that should be on your to-do list this month:  Cannabis and Contemplation.  There is zero reason to rush, so relax my friendly Fish. 

When it comes to the sinsemilla you smoke during this Winter season, it will be important to find strains that help to mediate your mood.

If you find yourself having trouble breaking away from the daily grind, the sacred herb can bring you solace. When the mind won’t stop racing, reach for the mellow green, my stoney Fish. Classics like Jack Herer will help you find your center, and bring you back to the here and now; other strains like AC/DC will lead you down the highway to well.

Pack the bowl with big buds of Blue Dream and OG Kush when you are vibing nice, and want to keep the positivity flowing. 

You have the whole year ahead of you to reach for the stars stoner Pisces, so for now, it is time to relax here on Earth, and recharge your cosmic spacesuit. You can always look ahead to what the future may hold, but this month, just light one up and let it be.

Smokin Js Anniversary