Tag Archives: monthly horoscope

Virgo Stoner Horoscope May

Virgo
Virgo
Virgo Stoner Horoscope May
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Stoner Virgo, the final Spring month may set up as a battle of ideas.  Perhaps a conflict between natural traits and cosmic influence.  Maybe even a debate between planning and action.  The great news is that there is no better stoner star sign to have a contemplative debate with themselves more so than the stoner Virgo.

My sweet Virgin you will feel at home in May.  Inward contemplation assisted by your cannabis copilot will come easy, and provide sparks of inspiration for action.  However, use caution with high minded communications.  These self reflected marijuana musings might not be ready for smoke circle consumption.

If simple conversations take a defensive or heated tone, step out to toke time to reflect.  You are highly capable stoner Virgo, but an endless argument leads to a dead end of frustration every time.

Thus the debate of the month becomes like that stoney Clash classic, Should I Stay or Should I Go.  Your natural trait, and universal influence, will favor a contemplative stoner Virgo with planning smoke sessions in solitude.  But a brisk cosmic breeze of social energy will tempt the Virgin to the flame of smoke circle dynamics.

There will be times to share a joint, and a philosophical exploration.  There will be times to forgo challenging topics with cannabis companions.  And there will be times to jump into the smoke circle, but keep your secrets and plans to yourself.

It’s all up to you stoner Virgo.  Trust yourself.  Trust the sacred herbal influence.  And trust your connection to the universe. 

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope May

Scorpio
Scorpio
Scorpio Stoner Horoscope May
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Oh stoner Scorpio, what an interesting life you live.  The final Spring month will be no different.

The itch for change remains.  But universal energy is strengthening the key trait of solitude.  I had to take an extra pull on my own joint to work on this reading!

Toke time for yourself in the first half of May stoner Scorpio.  Your private nature is strengthened by cosmic winds of internal contemplation.  However, with these early smoke sessions, please take note of the marijuana smoke.  Your fellow terrestrial cannanauts cannot know your intentions or plans without your communication.

Yes, decisions and direction must come from internal contemplation my persnipity Scorpion; but everyone can use some guidance and assistance from their canna-crew.  Toke about it and talk about it stoner Scorpio.

May is split in two by the total Lunar eclipse on the 15th.

Even though the month is split, the work put into the beginning of the month will assist you at the end of the month.  Powerful energy will surround the stoner Scorpio after the Full Moon.

The itch for change and the potential repression of feelings could come pouring out.  Make sure to have your stash jars loaded with Indica strains surrounding this Lunar event.

Your stinger is sharp stoner Scopio.  Be careful not to injure your cannabis companions with undesired collateral damage from high energy surges during this time.

The sedative nature of the Indica species might help soothe your sharp instincts, and find contemplation over attack.

However, stoner Scorpio hear me now:  Switch to Sativa strains after the few days of energy overload are over.  We are meant to be in balance; the peak in energy will be followed by a valley.

Wow what a month my valiant Scorpion.  Take care of others, and be sure to toke time with yourself.  Seek wisdom and balance.  Everything is going to be ok.

Pisces Stoner Horoscope May

Pisces
Pisces
Pisces Stoner Horoscope May
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Hopefully your cosmic space suit is ready my frisky Fish. The universe has cleared your airspace of any external obstacles, and you are clear for takeoff. So, buckle up stoner Pisces, because this month it is all systems go!

It may have taken you longer to get off the ground than some of your peers, but throughout the month you will continue to soar ever higher until you reach your cruising altitude.

Remember, you’re in the cockpit my high-flying Fish; how high you climb, and how far you journey will be up to you. With nothing but wide-open skies ahead, you can expect your trajectory to be meteoric.

Before you get blazing at full speed, be sure to spend a few days early in the month plotting your course. This doesn’t mean you have to spend hours in official meditative smoke sessions, planning every part or imagining every possibility of your journey. This month, a little time with the sacred herb will go a long way. 

Although you will have the time to take the scenic route, or to get lost wandering, it is still a good idea to have a final destination in mind. Just be sure to toke a few moments to puff puff and plan. It is important to look before you launch stoner Pisces.

While until recently it felt like you were trailing behind your fellow terrestrial cannanauts, now you find yourself in pole position. Just keep in mind that not everything this month needs to be a competition.

Now you are the friend in the lead with plenty of greens. But it wasn’t so long ago that you were the one who needed a little help from their friends. So be mindful stoner Pisces. While for you, the sky might be the limit, you have a few partners-in-chronic who will need a lift in order to soar among the clouds.

Aries Stoner Horoscope May

Aries
Aries
Aries Stoner Horoscope May
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Stoner Aries should receive constructive blessings from the cosmos in May.  What are you building?  Where are you growing?

My unrestrained Ram, think about the final Spring month as a time to bring the life of the party to your work sphere.  There is much to do and much to accomplish.  The planetary alignment supports all systems GO!

Allow your mind to wander from the smoke circle stoner Aries.  Mercury enters retrograde this month, and with this cosmic conundrum comes diminished communications with cannabis companions.

Head strong arguments among friends could pose long lasting injury.  Celebratory bowls of the sacred herb will not be missed this month; matching sessions with canna-buddies will be replaced by solo excursions of quiet contemplation with self.  

Stoner Aries, this may seem antithetical to your natural drives, but the scenario should play out naturally as the month progresses.  Best buds and cannabis companions will be there when the work is done.   

All of this should flow just fine in your daily routine stoner Aries.  You will bring the life of the party to the workplace!  The Ram is quite adept at climbing steep cliffs.  This month will be focused on ascending higher into the economic ecosystem.  Whether it be that half baked idea you have been meditating on, or straight forward time on the work clock, exciting results will show from attendance and attention.

Don’t worry stoner Aries, the pot infused party will return to the personal sphere in the future.  You may be so busy building projects and pouring foundations of success for the future, perhaps you won’t notice missing out on smoke circle dramatics.

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope May

Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius Stoner Horoscope May
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They say April showers bring May flowers. And you can be certain this month, stoner Aquarius, will be full of all kinds of flowers!  The kind that smell good, the kind you smoke, and the kind that smell good when you smoke them!

While other signs are trying to feel their way through the lingering cosmic clouds this Spring, you will get to light up and breathe easy throughout the rest of the season. Stoner Aquarius, you have the Sun to thank for the warming days, but this month, it is the celestial alignment that ensures this May will be a chronically good one.

Stoner Aquarius, since you will be the one whose spirit feels light and shines bright, it will be up to you to serve as a gleaming guide to your fellow terrestrial cannanauts. Your positivity will be a beacon of calm to all your road weary cannabis companions.  Allow your shining aura to show them the way to a more peaceful destination. And if any of your cannabis companions do fall behind, they will always find their way back by following the scent of that sweet sinsemilla.

You don’t have to wait for summer to hit the trails my wandering Water Bearer. If the sun is shining, you should be out exploring!  Grab your travel piece, some grade-A ganja, and take your stoney sessions back to your favorite outdoors smoke spots.

The Full Moon happens on the 16th this month. It will be a great night to get together with all your partners-in-chronic to celebrate the Lunar Eclipse. You don’t have to go wild stoner Aquarius, just toke the time to light up, look to the sky, and let everyone’s troubles float away with the smoke.

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope April

Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Aquarius, if in March you finally felt like you were heating up, April finds you blazing bright, and moving full speed ahead. It’s no longer about breaking out of your funk, this month the goal is to keep your groove growing.

The winning recipe this season is pretty simple:  Keep doing more of what’s been working, and let the things that aren’t flowing, float away with the smoke.

This includes sticking with the strains that uplift and invigorate you, while avoiding those that call you back to the sluggish sanctuary of your couch.

It all depends upon the kind of motivation you are looking for my ambitious Water-Bearer. Here are a few strains to seek out and toke up this month, depending upon your mood!

Super Lemon Haze:  For when you are looking for inspiration, or wanting to unleash your creativity. Just like biting into the most sour citrus fruit, this strain will have you feeling invigorated and thinking:  ‘What can’t I do?!’

Strawberry Cough Diesel:  Don’t be fooled by the name, this strain can be an amazingly smooth smoke.  Stoner Aquarius you can expect a full-bodied warm feeling leaving you maximally relaxed, while also freeing your mind to soar to new heights.

Harlequin GDP:  A personal favorite, and recommendation for those who have been skeptical of Sativa dominant varieties in the past. Never too racy, this strain is an excellent specimen for when you are looking for that ‘mellow yellow’ kind of vibe. This one is for when you want to get in the zone without feeling overzealous.

Of course, stoner Aquarius, you can smoke any kind and variety of cannabis you want. But, if I could offer one piece of advice this month it would be:  No matter what dutchie you choose to puff on, know that it will be even better when you get to pass it to a cannabis companion sitting on your left-hand side.

Aries Stoner Horoscope April

Aries
Aries
Aries Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Aries, the days of smoking the dankest nugs at home on the couch are over; at least the couch part of the equation!  Spring is in full swing so grab your buds, and your trusty travel piece; it’s time to take your smoke sessions on the road!

March was meant to be a mellow and mindful month. A season for solo smoke sessions with the sacred herb.  A time to inhale those insight-expanding vapors while you relax and recharge your cosmic space suit.

But even if it was a spiritually and mentally rejuvenating season, vegetative time is coming to an end. Now it’s grow time my rejuvenated Ram! 

It’s time to branch out, to rejoin the social smoke circle, and get back to puff puff passing time in the company of your favorite cannabis companions. 

With the New Moon ushering in a season of reflection and rebirth for almost all signs of the Stoner Zodiac, there will be plenty for you to catch up on while you talk and toke with the best buds.

Stoner Aries, you might be feeling a little anxious at the idea of getting back to smoking in larger groups. With everyone undergoing notable transformation, you might be worried that you may have outgrown each other.

It might sound cliche, but the best way to overcome this concern is simple:  Be yourself!  Don’t hide behind the smoke. Light up and let the fire illuminate your four-twenty-friendly, charismatic self.

If confrontation with any of your cannabis companions does arise, just smoke your cannabis and speak your piece my reefer-loving Ram. Sometimes people change and do grow apart. It doesn’t mean that you’re wrong or that they’re right. Sometimes different is just that, different.

Just remember stoner Aries, the more you share the more you will care. The more you enjoy fellowship while sharing bowls of the sacred herb, the better you will communicate, and the easier it will be to meet on common ground.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope April

Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Cancer, there will be almost nothing you will have to be crabby about this April. The flowers are budding, the days are getting longer, and your attitude is on the rise. As long as you keep your stash jars at equally high levels, the forecast is looking up.

The cosmic haze that hung over the first few months of 2022 has lifted, leaving nothing but bright skies and wide-open roads. Just remember that while the path ahead may be clear stoner Cancer, it will be up to you as to how far you wander.

After a cool winter spent cooped-up inside, toking Indica on the couch, it’s time to switch to more stimulating Sativa cannabis strains, and take your smoke sessions outside!  Nothing says Spring-is-here like hitting up your best buds to cloud-up your favorite outdoor smoke spots. My chronic-loving Crab, whenever the weather allows, you should be enjoying your nugs out in Nature.  Puffing tree among the trees.

It may not be warm enough for extended getaways, but it’s definitely a good opportunity to do some reconnaissance for future endo-excursions. Now is the perfect time to map out the paths you want to blaze during the coming months. And although we’re not in full summertime adventure mode quite yet, a few dank-filled day trips will hold you over in the meantime.

My confident stoner Crab, it has been a while since you’ve felt this level of high spirit.  Be courageous and ready to conquer whatever the cosmos has in store. This month, breathe deep the invigorating vapors of the sweet sinsemilla, and let it lift you even higher. Regardless of how slow or low the year has felt so far, know that this season, nothing can bring you down!

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope April

Capricorn
Capricorn
Capricorn Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Capricorn of all the stoner Zodiac, you’ve had one of the most clouded and challenging beginnings to your year. I say ‘beginning’, but you are well aware that it’s been three rough and wild months of doing your best to navigate your way through the cosmic chaos.

Well, there is finally some good news my ambitious stoner Sea-Goat. Regardless of whether or not it’s written in the stars, you will be surrounded by more than just the sweet scent of sinsemilla.  This month, change is in the air!

And even better, the form this change takes will be manifested by you.  You are in control!

Be sure to toke before you take action stoner Capricorn. Spend the first days of April in deep thought with some healing, yet heady herbs. But be mindful that these earliest smoke sessions should be all about meaningful meditation. 

The goal of this time spent with cannabis is about cultivating clarity of third-eye sight, and clearing the mind of distraction. You don’t want to spend hours spaced out, lost in thought, only to find yourself more clouded than when you started.

Don’t worry stoner Capricorn, you won’t have to face this transition from chaos to tranquility all by yourself. With the New Moon happening on the dawn of the month, you will have a tangible turning point to mark the end of the tumultuous months.  There is a clear celestial line to begin your new journey along a more positive path.

Stoner Capricorn this hard-earned peace is something to commemorate. By the end of the month your smoke sessions will turn away from contemplation, and take on a more celebratory tone. Invite your partners-in-chronic to share in your good fortune and good ganja; because from here on out stoner Capricorn, life is only going to be top shelf for you!

Gemini Stoner Horoscope April

Gemini
Gemini
Gemini Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Gemini, up to this point, it may feel like not much has happened for you this year. So far, you may not have seen the seeds planted at the New Year grow as much as you had hoped. But I’m here to tell you to take a deep breath, take a few stress relieving tokes of the marijuana smoke, and relax my terrestrial Twin.

It’s officially the first full month of Spring! You can expect to see your spiritual and financial gardens experience noticeable growth. Remember stoner Gemini, that when it comes to our plants and our plans, time spent in a vegetative state is just as important as when they start to bloom.

Sure, this period of slow growth may not be the most exciting, but it is crucial in creating a strong, healthy foundation. This incubation time is the groundwork for everything that follows; after all, the tallest trees only reach great heights if their roots run deep.

Stoner Gemini, the most substantial growth will be in the realm of work. As long as you maintain your ambitious momentum, your peers and the higher ups will notice your contributions to the team. At least for the first couple weeks it will be best to stay off the pipe when you’re on the clock.

This month, you want to keep your work-grind and your herbal-grind separate. So, save those sweet, sticky bowls to celebrate a good day’s work, instead of slowing down your brain at work.

My stoner Twin, April isn’t going to be all work and no play. Your time outside of the office will be as hazy as ever. You’re not the only sign of the stoner Zodiac who had a slow start to the year. Your cannabis companions are coming out of Winter hibernation, and ready to blaze up with you under the bright Spring sun.

Leo Stoner Horoscope April

Leo
Leo
Leo Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Leo:  What’s that bright fiery object floating high up in the sky? No, it’s not a comet or a UFO, it’s the Sun! And this month my fiery Lion, you too will be a shining star.

In April it doesn’t matter if you’re a moonchild or not, all in the stoner Zodiac will get the opportunity for a fresh start. The New Moon happening at the dawn of the month means you can let all of the setbacks, and the false starts the year has brought so far, go up in smoke.

Some days were tinted with a glossy ganja glow, other times even the most enlightening cannabis couldn’t help you see through the fray. But now you will be able to light up, lift off, and rise above the haze.

Stoner Leo, set aside time early in the month for a deep dive into your subconscious. Breathe deep the perspective expanding vapors of the sacred herb, and allow the illusion of impossibility burn away with every puff.

With your third-eye open, you will have a new clarity of sight for the path ahead.  Your destination is wherever you want to go!

You no longer have to conform to the role of a cautious cat.  You can get back to your true form:  The loud-smoking, fierce and fiery Leader of the Pack.

We may not be officially in the season of Leo, but you are definitely in your element. Everything from the daily grind to the biggest sesh will be no match for you my stoner Lion. 

Just like the Spring causes the plants to bloom, and the greens to bud, you will help your cannabis companions flourish when they are in your presence. So roar loud and roast often stoner Leo, because once you ignite the fire inside of you, nothing will be able to put it out!

Libra Stoner Horoscope April

Libra
Libra
Libra Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Libra, this year you don’t have to wait for Summer to experience a season of love. This April, whether you are single or in a relationship, you can expect to reignite old flames, fan the embers of your current partnership, or feel the spark of a new romantic interest.

When you reup your stash of sacred herbs, be mindful that you will be packing many of your bowls for two; so stock up heavy this month. Of course, passing around kind buds is not the only way to show your affection stoner Libra.  But it is true that sharing is caring, and you don’t want your smoke sessions to end early because you ran out of nugs.

This season my lovely Libra, the blessings of Venus will not be limited exclusively to romantic relationships. You can expect to strengthen bonds, and deepen connections, with all of your fellow terrestrial astronauts; whether they are a lover, your best bud, or your newest coworker.

I do offer one cautionary comment stoner Libra:  It is a good idea to keep your peace pipe packed and ready to puff puff and pass throughout the month. Yes, it is true you can expect to see a great deal of growth and evolution in many of your interpersonal relationships, but it is also true that sometimes growth comes with growing pains.

The tradeoff of getting to know someone better is that you won’t always like everything you might learn about them. Stoner Libra, just remember that you’re not always going to agree on everything.

Instead of arguing, toke on it, and talk about it.  When you light up a bowl of the sacred sinsemilla you can rise above almost any problem. Afterall, it doesn’t matter if you’re team Indica and they’re team Sativa; because at the end of the day, you are all a part of team green!

Pisces Stoner Horoscope April

Pisces
Pisces
Pisces Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Pisces, March was all about breaking away from the smoke circle to sit quietly with your thoughts and the sacred herb. It was a time to light up, to look inward, and take some much needed ‘Me Time.’ 

Hopefully you took advantage of this period to recreate, reflect, and hit the reset button. Because this month you will be rejoining your fellow tokin’ terrestrial cannanauts for happening hangouts and hotbox sessions.

We start April off with a New Moon my frisky Fish. Which aligns perfectly for showing your partners-in-chronic the new you. And whether or not they notice your rediscovered inner peace, they are sure to notice you have gotten your groove back. So roll up a few joints, and invite your cannabis companions to join you in a celebratory smoke session.

Stoner Pisces everything seems to be on the rise this April. The weather is heating up, your optimism is elevated, and you can even expect to grow your financial greens too!

Just remember that while building up your bank account is nice, it can be even easier to burn through those hard-earned bucks. To ensure your accounts don’t dip into the red, you will have to balance your eagerness to earn, and your readiness to spend.

After the bills are paid, go ahead and splurge a little stoner Pisces. Treat yourself to some of your favorite top shelf buds, or a few extra edibles for the weekend. But, remember that you will save more, and can even smoke more, by sticking with mid-shelf selections most days.

Stoner Pisces, you should still make medicated meditation sessions part of your weekly routine.  Maintain the calm you’ve cultivated over the past couple months. But, with Spring in full bloom, it’s time to light up and let loose. Your year may have started out with a slow burn my friendly Fish, but by the end of April, you’ll be blazing with the best of them.

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope April

Sagittarius
Sagittarius
Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Sagittarius, with the Full Moon happening on the dawn of the month, you will experience a spark of inspiration and energy that will keep your spirit blazing throughout April!

Although it will be up to you to keep your stash jars filled with good greens and the frostiest nugs, one thing you can count on is that good times and ganja vibes will be in no short supply.

If you are a single stoner Sag, and there is an old flame you want to reignite, or a new romantic prospect you want to spend more time with, April is the perfect season to fire up a bowl together, and find out if the feeling is mutual. 

And if you already have that special cannabis companion to share that sacred smoke with, then April will be an emotionally fulfilling and fiery month for sure. 

Stoner Sagittarius, during this period when we talk about the economic grind, know that it doesn’t strictly pertain only to your time at work. You will easily rise above all expectations of your job, so right now your focus should be on the activities after you clock out for the day.

Roast up at the river my smokey Sagittarius. Fire up your favorite flower out in the meadow, or light up at the lake. Any day you are able to spark up outside of the house will be a day well spent.

Be confident my ambitious Archer that no matter how high you aim, you are sure to hit your mark in April. Know that when you are done puffing and playing out in Nature, you can return to your stoney sanctuary for a more relaxing smoke session to get some rest before the next chapter of your endo-adventure!

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope April

Scorpio
Scorpio
Scorpio Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Scorpio change is in the air this Spring!  Turbulent cosmic winds have knocked you back and forth for what must seem like an eternity.  Important celestial movements this month will create a new period of calm that should soothe the stoner Scorpio like a mellow edible that reaches the perfect level.

New beginnings my stable stoner Scorpion.  There is a bit of celestial magic operating at the dawn of April.  The New Moon rises in March and sets in April.  Pack a celebratory bowl of cannabis to welcome in this new phase early in the month.

Perhaps you have been working on new beginnings in your personal life.  Agents of chaos might have slowed you down.  Breathe in the calming nature of the sacred herb.  Use your ganja gifted third eye sight to see the roadmap of destiny as it unveils before your eyes.

Now is the time to use free will to progress toward your destiny stoner Scorpio.

In the work sphere there is more potential for positive change.  Whether it is a project or an occupation, many stoner Scopio’s have been feeling as if there may be new opportunities or a change in direction that could set them free from a stagnant routine.

Yes stoner Scorpio, this may be the month where meditative daydreaming turns into terrestrial action.

Keep your cannabis consumption to Sativa strains this month.  There will be a lot to do, and a lot to think about.  The creative properties of the Sativa species could loosen those mental gears obstructing progress.

One foot in front of the other stoner Scorpio.  You are marching toward your destiny.  And everything is going to be ok.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope April

Taurus
Taurus
Taurus Stoner Horoscope April
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Stoner Taurus April is set up to set you apart from the broader smoke circle.  But it’s your cannabis connections with your canna-buddies that will get you through.

Most of the stoner Zodiac will be getting a fresh start with the New Moon falling on a new month.  Unfortunately things get a bit more complicated for the stoner Bull.

Perhaps you can see the setup taking shape in the sphere of your business or economic life.  There are complex challenges that must be endured this month.  It is through meditations with cannabis that you might be able to see the bigger picture.  Challenges, obstacles, and perhaps failures are expected this month.  But through your third eye sight could they be interpreted as opportunities and new beginnings?

Basically stoner Taurus, others in the stoner Zodiac will be gifted a new beginning, but you will have to work for yours.

Reach out to your cannabis community.  It is within the smoke circle of fellowship that you might be able to unlock the positivity within uncomfortable dilemmas.

Seek counsel among your cannabis cohort.  The blessing this month is the communal aspect of our cannabis copilot.  All obstacles have keys that will transform them into opportunities.  You hold all the keys within your connection to cannabis stoner Taurus.

Virgo Stoner Horoscope April

Virgo
Virgo
Virgo Stoner Horoscope April
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What stoner Virgo doesn’t like a good puzzle or a complex game?  The April time period will present challenges and obstacles synonymous with these methods and concepts.

Buckle up my valiant Virgin.  Before the big match, or when the puzzle lay in pieces, the forthcoming challenge can seem daunting and intimidating.  Trust and Courage will be required to complete the challenge.

The month begins without warning of the start time as the New Moon falls on March 31st.  Toke time in the first few days of April to meditate with the sacred herb.  Just you, your favorite piece, and some cosmic cannabis.

Focus your medicated meditation on Trust and Courage.

Trust yourself stoner Virgo.  You have all the tools required to solve any dilemma that comes your way this month.  Cannabis helps us see ourselves.  Take a mindful note with your third eye gazed within.  You have great strengths and wonderful attributes.  Acknowledge them.  Empower them.

The universal puzzle or the cosmic game presented this month are yours, and yours alone.  Steady your nerves throughout the month with high CBD rich cannabis strains.  You have entered a fluid period where options and obstacles must be addressed with confidence and Courage.  

One aspect of April that will be less murky and opaque is the sphere of love.  The planets have aligned in your favor my vivacious Virgin.  Perhaps this cosmic warm breeze will be enhanced by the early smoke session focused on confidence?  

No matter the sphere of influence or the cosmic conundrum presented, toke time with your cannabis copilot to instill Trust in yourself, and Courage to smoke the competition.

Virgo Stoner Horoscope March

Virgo
Virgo
Virgo Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Virgo, did you miss Valentine’s Day in February?  Perhaps the calendars are off.  The New Moon on March second is possibly your second chance at Valentine’s love.  

For partnered Virgos this means a chance at rekindling that old spark that lit the flame of the relationship.  Toke the opportunity to burn a bowl with your love.  Light the cannabis connection that assisted companionship.

For single Virgos this New Moon marks a moment for new possibilities.  You are entering a phase of opportunity for cannabis companionship.  Inhale the positive machinations of the sacred herb, and blow out the spark of manifestation.

Perhaps the February time period was more stagnant than you would prefer my lovely Virgin.  March will be the month of self motivation, and you are certainly capable of this task.

There are times to burn philosophical sacred bowls, and contemplate free-will versus destiny.  And there are times spark-up the divine inspiration contained within the magic of the sacred herb.  Get up and get moving stoner Virgo!  It’s all up to you right now.

Enjoy the month.  It gets off to a memorable emotional tone.  But then the bounty of benefits throughout the month all fall within your sphere of understanding and motivation.  

Associate action with smoke sessions.  Focus on health and body more so than heady contemplations of life, the universe, and everything.  As all things fall into place by month’s end.  Perhaps you will truly be able to question if your conscious actions got you there, or if it were destiny all along.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope March

Taurus
Taurus
Taurus Stoner Horoscope March
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My bud-loving Bull, of all in the stoner Zodiac, you have the highest times ahead of you this March. Spring is upon us, and you will get to indulge in smelling and smoking the flowers more often than most other signs in your smoke circle. 

Your forecast for the month will be filled almost exclusively with good vibes, and of course the stickiest greens. This month is a toking choose-your-own-adventure story.  Whether you choose to enjoy your nugs outdoors on a nature walk, or prefer to puff puff pass the time within the four walls of your stoney sanctuary, all sessions are blessed.

But as you puff, just be sure to pay it forward stoner Taurus. Remember that there are many of your cannabis companions who will have more trouble seeing through the smoke. 

You will be in a position to be the friend with weed this season. So, when you can, toke the time to pass the dutchie to the left, and invite those who might be stumbling to join you on your cosmic carpet ride.

Just be mindful when there are unfamiliar faces joining the smoke circle. You have every reason to be proud of all the positivity you are manifesting right now stoner Taurus. But remember that not everyone will be as immediately outgoing as you.  There will be some you encounter who will be more cautious in opening up to new people. Be patient when you encounter those who are a little more shy.

Of course, you will all have something to agree upon – good ganja.  Meet them on their level, and give it time. The best way to get everyone to join the party this month is to keep the cannabis burning, the kind words flowing, and of course my bold stoner Bull, just be yourself.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope March

Scorpio
Scorpio
Scorpio Stoner Horoscope March
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It will be hard to deny the positivity stoner Scorpio.  The days are getting longer, and that fresh Spring feeling is traveling through the air.  I warned you that the first couple months of 2022 would be a test of internal fortitude; but now it’s time to open the curtains, smile at your neighbors, and seek out communal ganja gatherings once again!

Toke time to seal the blessings from the universe with a solo meditative smoke session on or around the New Moon of the 2nd.  Create a comfy safe space to explore your internal drives with your cannabis spirit guide.  Inhale the positivity of the plant, and exhale your positive wishes onto the terrestrial world.  The power of this manifesting marijuana meditation will be felt throughout the month.

Feel the love and positivity stoner Scorpio.  It will serve you well immediately.  Cosmic winds of conflict could arise in the work sphere in the weeks after the New Moon.  But with cannabis infused universal blessings manifesting, these conflicts will be seen as the simple obstacles that they are.  

We can’t all be on the same page, or within the same sacred space of perception.  Your internal guide will create an ease of understanding toward your fellow man that should transcend any turmoil.

Potentially the magic of the month will be surrounding the Full Moon on the 18th.  This special Moon will blast a bright glow of openness often discarded by the stoner Scorpion.  Seek out your close cannabis companions for a philosophical smoke circle of sharing.  Match bowls with the canna-crew, and share stories.

Yes, share yourself stoner Scorpio.  You never know what you might learn by stepping out with the sacred herb as your guide among close cannabis companions.

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope March

Sagittarius
Sagittarius
Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Sagittarius it’s been a while since your true nature was able to stretch out unbridled on the terrestrial plane.  As much as you appreciate internal strategizing and building a plan, your core drives are out campaigning in the wild unknown.

This month will not satiate your internal desire, but it will continue building toward that end.  

Be prepared early in the month for communal smoke sessions with the broader smoke circle.  Stock the sacred treasure chest of cannabis with varied species and delivery methods.

The recent past has been filled with internal missions with your cannabis copilot.  Now internal sacred meditative strategizing smoke sessions will turn toward intel gathering amongst the ganja gang.  But be forewarned my stealthy Archer:  Remain rooted to your own domain or within verified safe spaces.  Universal influence surrounding outbound adventure remains obscured with inauspicious darkness.

Cosmic favor leans toward intelligent smoke sessions with the broader smoke circle, but do so only in verified, comfortable, guarded spaces.

This premonition has a double meaning as the month progresses.  What may appear to be intel gathering on a personal level for future adventure, will morph into strategizing for missions in the business sphere.  I appreciate you long for the action of battle my fierce Archer.  But no great garden of victory grew without a contemplative placement of well sewn seeds.

Yes stoner Sag, adventure is coming.  As with the internal medicated meditative smoke sessions in the recent past, this month is a natural progression supported by cosmic design toward the ends of your true purpose.  Wow, it must be heavy to be you.

Pisces Stoner Horoscope March

Pisces
Pisces
Pisces Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Pisces, you’ve spent the first months of 2022 playing the role of helper and healer to your cannabis companions. You were there for your smoke circle through their low moments, as well as the highs. 

But now we are in Pisces season my frisky Fish.  This month really is all about YOU! It’s time to toke a break from being everyone else’s ganja guru, and focus on giving yourself the attention that you need.

Start off the first days of March with deep and dank meditative smoke sessions. Spend time away from the smoke circle stoner Pisces; just you, your favorite pipe, and the sacred herb. 

Whether it’s your favorite secluded smoke spot, or in the comfort of your cozy stoney sanctuary; find a peaceful place where you can light up the loud, and quiet your mind.

Consider cerebrally-stimulating strains like Blue Dream or White Widow when selecting your herbal aids for these moments of medicated meditation. 

Blue Dream is ideal for when you are focused on holistic healing. Its vapors can uplift your consciousness, ease bodily tensions, and calm your spirit. It will help you enter into a contemplative state of mind without getting lost in thought, or stuck on the couch.

Stoner Pisces, switch up your prescription to White Widow when you are ready to turn reflection and exploration into implementation. It can be a bit more stimulating, and might leave you restless if you don’t have an outlet for the elevated creative energy. But it is a great strain for when you are really getting back into the groove of getting things done.

Just remember that the goal of this month’s solo smoke sessions isn’t to avoid your friends and cannabis companions. It’s about giving yourself the space and time you need to look in the mirror, and like what you see. So be mindful of your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts, but stay focused on you, my friendly Fish. 

Libra Stoner Horoscope March

Libra
Libra
Libra Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Libra, sometimes life is like a bag of bud, and unfortunately, it’s not always going to be the top shelf kind. Sometimes it seems like the bag has more stems and seeds than anything worth smoking inside. 

When you get dealt a subpar sack you can choose to waste time picking through the unwanted parts trying to salvage worthwhile nugs. Or, you can count your losses, toss the whole thing, and try for a better bag. 

It’s only March my balanced stoner Libra!  Already you’ve experienced what seems like a year’s worth of seeds and stems. But this month it is time to let go of all the shortcomings, fire up some kinder buds, and toke a fresh start. 

The good news stoner Libra is that this month will be shwag free!  The stars have aligned in your favor, and the cosmic haze that overshadowed the first couple months of 2022 will fade, clearing the way for higher prospects. So get ready for a come up!

Of course, you will still have to work for it stoner Libra.

The first few days of March should be spent in meaningful medicated meditation. Breathe deep, inhale the perspective-expanding magic of the sacred herb. If the cosmos is bringing you a fresh start and new opportunity, you will need to know what you want to achieve, and how high you want to rise.

Don’t worry if you feel like the year has been mediocre so far.  Know that from this point forward how far you go will only be limited by what you can imagine. It’s finally your turn stoner Libra. Now it’s your time to dream big, smoke better, and manifest the magical future that you want to see!

Leo Stoner Horoscope March

Leo
Leo
Leo Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Leo, what do you do when a plant gets too big for its current pot? You transfer it to a bigger pot of course. Those roots need space to grow!

So far in the year you have been making forward progress, but maybe not as far and as fast as it could be. This March you too will need to find your own bigger pot with fresh, nutrient rich soil to let your roots grow deeper, and to allow room for your branches to spread.

You will always be the loud-smoking, leader-of-the-pack Lion, but right now you need to break away from the pride. It’s time to take a break from focusing on the rest of the pack to pack a bowl for one. Spend the month of March resting and reflecting on what makes you roar my stoner Lion.

It’s not about the grass being greener on the other side, it’s about nurturing your own garden so you can flourish, and grow to your greatest potential. Sometimes this means you have to shed old leaves to make way for new buds.

Your strain selection should reflect your goal of maximizing both your spiritual and physical expansion. You can go for maximum diversity by picking a couple Indica and a few Sativa options. This way you can match your strains to whatever your mood and the moment calls for. Or you can gather a few Hybrids that can be cerebrally stimulating yet will still keep you grounded in the terrestrial world.

Although growth is the theme and focus this month, know that it doesn’t stop when the month ends. Build the groundwork now stoner Leo, and you will continue growin’ and tokin’ the whole year through.

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope March

Capricorn
Capricorn
Capricorn Stoner Horoscope March
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It’s over stoner Capricorn!  All the swag analogies and bunk bud predictions of continued struggles are done!  March represents a rebirth for the stoner Sea-Goat.  Now, you can truly start to climb the cliffs of progress.

Early in the month around the time of the New Moon on the 2nd, toke time with your sacred herbal guide.  Sink deep into a medicated meditative state.  Use this solo adventure with cannabis as a sort of internal house cleaning.  Flush out the struggles of the past, and open the pathways for progress in the future.

Use this solo deep dive with the sacred herb as a way to set the stage for positivity in March.  The cosmic influence is changing.  Prepare yourself for brighter days so that when the transition occurs, you will be eager to seize the day instead of confused by the circumstances.

With the deep cleansing solo dive out of the way, stock the stash jars with light and airy Sativa cannabis strains.  The cannabis experience for the remainder of the month should invoke creativity and flexibility more so than a contemplative medicated state.  The flexibility found within a light regiment with the sacred herb will allow balance within this positive transition.

Cleanse the spirit.  Heal the body.  Reset the mind.  Everything that follows will be connected to your true internal drives.  Everything will be possible once again stoner Capricorn.

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope March

Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Aquarius, if your cannabis companions want to find you this month, all they will have to do is look up! It may be true that you’ve been toking it low and slow up to this point, but as long as you aim for the stars, you will find yourself blazing to new heights in March. 

Your upward trajectory will have your fellow terrestrial travelers watching you closely.  Don’t fret my judicious Water-Bearer, observers might have red-eyes, but their stares aren’t critical. Actually, it is quite the opposite; you will have the admiring gazes of all who come into your orbit.

Because of this universal admiration, you will have the opportunity to raise up those around you. So, you will need to lead by example stoner Aquarius.

This means top shelf buds only this month! You don’t want others to see you smoking sad, shwaggy green. Remember, my chronic-loving Aquarius:  Friends don’t let their cannabis companions smoke bunk weed!

In fact, accumulating the best green bud will coincide with a cosmic mission to collect green paper as well. It takes effort to accumulate the sacred green as well as the matrix money.  But you are up to the challenge stoner Aquarius.

With all the prosperity you can expect this March, it will be important to remember the sacred stoner mantra:  Sharing IS caring.

Be mindful of your spending stoner Aquarius.  You don’t need to go overboard and burn through your stash and savings just to please others. The point is to help when you can. To share a bowl with those who find their own stash jar low, or to cover the pizza when your partner-in-chronic has had a long week, and just need a night of great ganja and good people.

Whatever you do this month, be sure to pay it forward stoner Aquarius. Now is your time to shine, but you never know when you will be the one who will need that kindness repaid.

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope February

Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius Stoner Horoscope February
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Stoner Aquarius, have you ever been smoking your preroll, inhaling the sweet vapors of the sacred sinsemilla, only to start coughing because you realized you smoked it down so much that you had started burning into the paper crutch? 

January was much like this: it started off smooth, fulfilling and enjoyable. But you may have burned too hot, too quickly and by the end of the month you found yourself out of energy with an empty stash jar.

Stoner Aquarius, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as you were highly successful in lifting the spirits of those around you. You shared your bright aura and good ganja with all of your fellow tokin’ terrestrials. You spread good vibes and shared high times with those in your orbit who really needed help rising above rough times. 

You don’t need to change your attitude or your optimism my water-pipe bearer, just try to slow your roll a little as you move through February.

Right now, you will need to swing your focus from serving others to self-care. Spend whatever time you need to rest and recharge your own cosmic spacesuit stoner Aquarius. 

Because health and healing are the goal, Indica dominant strains should be your go-to ganja selection during this season. Of course, you can seek out the consciousness-expanding Sativas when it is spiritual healing you want to focus on, but overall relaxation and recreation should be your highest priority.

Don’t worry though stoner Aquarius, low-key doesn’t mean you have to be lazy or that the month will be lame. You can still join your cannabis companions to share a joint or two, or enjoy late night bong rips with your best buds. Just don’t neglect your solo smoke sessions. 

You have an exciting and fulfilling year ahead where you will play the role of ganja guru, guiding your partners-in-chronic on countless endo-adventures. So, my stoner Aquarius, toke it easy now so your fire doesn’t burn out before you reach your final destination.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope February

Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope February
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Stoner Cancer, last month the goal was to smoke the high grade and keep it lowkey. It was about finding your way along the mellow middle path through consistent medicated meditation; it was a time to toke it slow and allow yourself the headspace needed to philosophize and plan out where you want to go next.

Many of these were solo smoke sessions, or limited only to your closest cannabis companions. Now it’s time to get back out there to share those great greens and good vibes with more of your fellow tokin’ terrestrials. 

But, as you expand your smoke session this February, be mindful that not everyone can be expected to be in such a zenful state of mind, my calm and collected Crab.

So, stoner Cancer, it is a good time to get out the peace pipe and give it a good deep cleaning…you will need it this month.

The good news is that new dramas aren’t a part of the month’s forecast. Instead, unresolved tensions and hurt feelings can resurface as people hangout and hotbox with those they haven’t seen in a while. 

When the conversation stalls or gets a little heated, just let go and let the sacred herb guide the communications forward. After everyone shares a few bowls, the room might be a little hazy, but you will be able to see others’ perspectives more clearly.

Stoner Cancer, it’s not about who is right or who was wronged. It’s about listening to each other, lighting up together, and helping everyone to meet on a higher and healthier level.

After-all, especially when it comes to spending time toking and talking with our partners-in-chronic, good ganja is something we can all agree upon.

Gemini Stoner Horoscope February

Gemini
Gemini
Gemini Stoner Horoscope February
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Stoner Gemini, how did you make it through the dual retrograde cycle last month?  Did the magic of the sacred herb engage your super Twin power?  Well here you are, ready to shred, pack, and light up another exciting month.

Be prepared stoner Gemini, entering February will be like hitting that wall of sweet smells from the sacred herb.  You are in for a quick change of pace as the planets move on, and throw you into a different phase.

Keep smoke sessions light and airy.  Don’t dive in too deep at the beginning of the month.  Feel the change of pace with your raw psyche.  The cannabis strain does not matter, just make sure to consume just enough to get you where you want to go.

Once the beginning phase of the month is over, and you have caught your bud-loving bearings, you should feel like yourself again.  Your sense of humor will return.; your ability to adapt and thrive within a social setting will come to the forefront.  You may not have realized they were gone, but you will definitely feel them come back.  I’ll smoke to that!

Although the planetary motion will free stuck stash jars and ground joints, the new phase will bring a cooler to the work sphere and finances.  

February will be the month to take it easy on the toking.  Responsibility, accountability, and agility will be key.  Pinchie bowls go with pinching pennies.  Furthermore, a clear head may help you address some debt that is weighing you down.

The good news is that this potential tolerance break after the first six days of the month will be a breeze.  With the adaptive and communicative gears grinding once again, you may hardly notice the absence of your cannabis copilot.

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope February

Sagittarius
Sagittarius
Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope February
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Stoner Pisces, did you enjoy a mellow start to the new year? Did you use the first month of 2022 to grind up the ganja and give yourself the time needed to gather your thoughts?

For those of you who embraced the opportunity to slow your roll, you can prepare yourself for an equally peaceful and stoney sequel this February. And for those who chose to chase the chaos instead of the calm, make sure you don’t miss out on this second chance to pursue a more peaceful path.

You are equal parts compassionate and chronic-loving my stoner Pisces. And in recent times you have been called to play the role of both a friend indeed and the partner-in-chronic others have grown to expect will gladly supply the greens when they need.

While this will still be the trend for February, you should keep your third-eye sight open and on the lookout for those whose moods might throw off your groove. Although you are usually deeply attuned to and influenced by the feelings of those in your orbit, you have been able to avoid absorbing the negative emanations from those nearest to you. 

My stoner Pisces, this February, you will still get to fulfill the role of the friendliest fish that you strive to be, but the cosmic protections against the negative vibrations of your fellow terrestrial travelers will wane as the month progresses.

Stoner Pisces, the best plan for a blissful month is to surround yourself with those cannabis companions you know are all about high times and good vibes. Of course, you can still be there to pick up those you encounter who look like they need to share a fresh bowl and who need a friendly ear to listen. Just don’t spend the whole month trying to lift the spirits of others at the risk of bringing your own spirits down.

Smokin Js Anniversary

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope February

Scorpio
Scorpio
Scorpio Stoner Horoscope February
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Ok stoner Scorpio.  I feel you.  Is 2022 going to be 2020 too?  NO.

Early in the month, fire up the music, fire up the bowl, and fire up the good vibes.  There is a change coming quickly, and this marker could use a blessing of positivity.  Find a safe space to celebrate.  Whether you are into the healing properties of crystals, or the cleansing properties of smudging, combine your prefered holistic ritual with a bowl burning session with the sacred herb.

Use your canna-powers combined with your holistic healing ritual to accept the past, and manifest positivity for the future.  You can’t imagine how powerful this medicated meditative smoke session will be.

Once complete it will be like finding your voice again.  With honesty and integrity at heart, your words will find the target.  And it’s ok stoner Scorpio, sometimes words land hard.  Toke time for self, and smoke about any poor reactions you might receive.  I bet your cannabis compadre might do the same, and discussions with solutions will ensue.  

Just give it a chance, and you might find the smoke circle complete once again.  Tensions release with the soothing vapors of the sacred herb.  The ganja gang can laugh, cry, argue, and smoke again all in the same sesh.

Stoner Scorpio, in the middle of the month, an interesting conundrum might challenge your bliss.  Make sure you have sacred Indica strains available during this period.  Use the calming nature of your cannabis copilot to envelop all decisions with love and positive intentions.  This will not be the time to duke-it-out or make earnest declarations.  

My scorching Scorpion, tell someone (anyone) you love them this month.  Find your voice.  Express love and positivity.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope February

Taurus
Taurus
Taurus Stoner Horoscope February
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Stoner Taurus, you are among those signs in the stoner Zodiac who may be disappointed that the New Year has so far failed to deliver anything that feels, well…new.

You can resign yourself to playing a supporting role in your own stoney saga, or you can take to center stage and manifest the story YOU want to see. 

Don’t let February puff puff pass you by; get out there and get your grind on my stoner Taurus!

Maybe it’s time to finally apply for the promotion at work, or perhaps it’s time to make big moves and consider a completely new career path?!

While now might be the perfect time to switch it up when it comes to work, don’t rush or take these decisions lightly. Take time to think on-it and toke on-it stoner Taurus. Before you begin your new adventure onward and upward, you will need to take a deep dive into meaningful medicated introspection.

Meditative smoke sessions will help you to pause and allow you the mental calm and clarity to reflect on where you’ve been and to look forward to where you want to go. 

Stoner Taurus, when you do finally begin your next occupational adventure, it will be a good idea to put down the pipe, or at least leave it at home until you get the groove of things at the new job.

Rest assured stoner Taurus, you will have plenty of time to figure out which of your coworkers are four-twenty friendly later, but you will want to make the most of this fresh start by showing up clear minded and showing your peers you are there, eager and ready to grind!

Virgo Stoner Horoscope February

Virgo
Virgo
Virgo Stoner Horoscope February
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Stoner Virgo, in January you might have broken down with a tear or two;  all within the same motion of flipping into a joker meme.  What a wild ride January was.  What a blessing it is to feel all those emotions.  What a time to be alive.

Maybe you look back at January as grabbing a hold of a lightning bolt, and channeling the power.  Maybe you see it like peeing on an electric fence, and feeling the power!  No matter what you think about the first month of 2022; that bowl is cached.

Slow you roll early in the month.  Toke time for a solo smoke session with the sacred herb.  A nice balanced hybrid should do nicely.  Don’t go too deep with this meditative smoke session stoner Virgo.  Keep it light.

Focus on navigation my stoner Virgin.  Catch your bearings.  Coming out of a period like the one you just passed through is destabilizing.  You will need to be kind to yourself, and allow your internal systems to balance.

This initial light medicated meditation is so important to set the tone for February.  You have so much skill, discipline, and tenacity stoner Virgo.  You will only need a little nudge from a nug to get you back into the groove.

Finally, take close care of loved ones in your immediate family.  In this day-and-age doctors appointments can bring anxiety, but neglecting health concerns only passes the bowl.  In the smoke circle of life, the bowl always comes back to you.

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope January

Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Aquarius January will be a month of personal revelations.  As the new year begins, the universe will be sending positive waves of personal growth.

What a wonderful way to start the year my curious WaterBearer.  Open your stash jar.  Inhale the consciousness expanding gifts of the sacred herb.  Open yourself to the positivity flowing into your being.

The cannabis strain does not matter this month stoner Aquarius.  Toke time throughout the month to sink deep within when you spark a bowl to get lifted.

Your curiosity for outward puzzles will turn inward this month.  Don’t fight the feeling to find secluded moments for solo smoke sessions.  Use your cannabis copilot to guide your inquiry within.  There is still so much to learn about yourself stoner Aquarius.

This medicated meditative practice of self inquiry will be as illuminating as the Sun bringing warm rays on a cold day.  With self discovery, the terrestrial plane, and the broader smoke circle, will be unveiled with new sight.  That should make solving terrestrial puzzles so much easier!

Warning Stoner Aquarius:  The positive cosmic vibes will illuminate your aura this month.  It will seem as if your fellow terrestrial astronauts see you in a new light.  Like a magnet with positive attraction, be ready for people to gravitate toward you.  But you must find your inner chill stoner Aquarius.  Frivolous escapades will take you off your progressive mission this month.  

Find new discoveries within, and allow your inner voice to sing.

Virgo Stoner Horoscope January

Virgo
Virgo
Virgo Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Virgo, here … we …. GO!  The adventure of 2021 is now a memory.  We march forward into 2022 with everything we contain within. A new year to manifest our vision and being on our great terrestrial plane.

Our sacred herb is a large part of how we see the landscape in front of us.  Our cannabis copilot opens the doors to reality.  It enhances our third eye to see possibilities.

Know thyself stoner Virgo.  Often, vision isn’t your deficit.  You can create wonderful visions of manifestation, and march like a soldier to your canna-inspired destiny.  

But do you pack more than you can smoke?  Be honest stoner Virgo.  Has a dream of destiny created a mountain of tasks in the past?  Do you sometimes grind up more than you can burn down?

Drive, ambition, and creativity all must be tempered by perspective, humility, and honesty.

Use your cannabis copilot this month to slow down time.  Through regular and moderate meditations with the sacred herb, take a second look at your ambitious plans from a higher perspective. 

This medicated meditative task throughout the month will help you find balance my stoner Virgin.  The goal in life is not to pack the biggest bowl, it’s to enjoy the herb.  Don’t load what you can’t or shouldn’t smoke.  The process will be more fulfilling, and you might find more enjoyment in a higher quality manifestation.  Chill stoner Virgo.  You got this. 

Cancer Stoner Horoscope January

Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Cancer, no one would ever dare to call you complacent. In fact, you are one of the least likely of the stoner Zodiac to succumb to couchlock. But, this month, it may not be such a bad thing if you spend a little more time smoking your favorite herbs from the comfort of your soft sofa or reliable recliner.

This inclination to stay medicated and reclined, is partly due to the fact that the New Year doesn’t necessarily promise the fresh start that it will bring for some. Rest assured, you won’t be forced to relive every chaotic moment of 2021, but you should expect the cosmic haze that has clouded your vision in recent months will linger a bit longer than it will for some of your cannabis companions. 

You don’t have to curb your enthusiasm my eternally-ambitious Crab, but it will be most beneficial to your peace-of-mind if you slow your roll. 

Because this slow rolling, float-on approach is not usually your style, you will need to seek help from the soothing vapors of the sacred herb. Afterall, you don’t want to become known as the chronically cranky Crab, just because the Cosmos is cramping your style.

Open the cannabis cabinet. Seek specific sacred strains for the right moment to find your chill. A couple of my favorite strains that I would recommend during this time are the ever-sweet Gelato, and the always classic Purple Haze.  These strains, and others like them, will help to unleash your creativity without going to your head. Use your cannabis copilot to get your ideas onto paper, but soothe the urge to implement them before they are fully formed.

It may be a challenge in the first couple days of the New Year, but at least for now, my sweet stoner Cancer, the goal is to keep it lowkey and forward looking.  Stay focused on the long game, and avoid rushing ahead.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope January

Taurus
Taurus
Taurus Stoner Horoscope January
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Are you ready stoner Taurus?  I hope so.  2022 gets off to a fast start!  Make sure the stash jars are loaded, and you have enough to share.  

Universal influence in January begins as the ball drops on 2021.  Be ready by the New Moon of the 2nd.  Don’t get caught without your favorite strain or your favorite piece.

There will be strong cosmic waves of positivity centered around matters close to the heart.  This should soften the hard-charging stride of the stoner Bull.  Relationships with close cannabis companions and the stoner fam will reach new highs.

So whether you stock the stash with edible shareables or stand ready to pack a bowl for two, this month will be all about connections with cannabis.

However, be forewarned stoner Taurus:  Don’t get stuck in your own head with lofty expectations.  Don’t place your high-minded ambitions on matters of the heart.  Allow your cannabis copilot to guide you within the universal flow.  Good things will come, you just have to let them happen.

As you find your inner chill with the stoner fam, also seek moderation and caution with spending in January.  I love your ability to charge straight ahead and go for the big wins, but money matters will need more thoughtful consideration.

The beautiful aspect of the celestial influence this month is the fact that your true canna-fam only care about you, not your things.  Sink deep within your support group stoner Taurus.  Toke time to share the good green with your best buds.  Everything else will take care of itself.

Pisces Stoner Horoscope January

Pisces
Pisces
Pisces Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Pisces, if 2021 left you feeling dazed and confused, I’m here to remind you that you’re not alone. Remember that for every low moment, there were hazy highs that provided a counterbalance to those trying and tumultuous times.

While other stoner star signs are focused on New Year’s resolutions, for you, January is about hitting the reset button rather than a complete reimagining. So, take a few weeks to pause, puff, and truly stop to smell and smoke the flowers.

My stoner Pisces, you have been swimming through rough waters, but now you will get to enjoy a more mellow flow as you traverse new cosmic currents. There are really only two things that should be on your to-do list this month:  Cannabis and Contemplation.  There is zero reason to rush, so relax my friendly Fish. 

When it comes to the sinsemilla you smoke during this Winter season, it will be important to find strains that help to mediate your mood.

If you find yourself having trouble breaking away from the daily grind, the sacred herb can bring you solace. When the mind won’t stop racing, reach for the mellow green, my stoney Fish. Classics like Jack Herer will help you find your center, and bring you back to the here and now; other strains like AC/DC will lead you down the highway to well.

Pack the bowl with big buds of Blue Dream and OG Kush when you are vibing nice, and want to keep the positivity flowing. 

You have the whole year ahead of you to reach for the stars stoner Pisces, so for now, it is time to relax here on Earth, and recharge your cosmic spacesuit. You can always look ahead to what the future may hold, but this month, just light one up and let it be.

Smokin Js Anniversary

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope January

Scorpio
Scorpio
Scorpio Stoner Horoscope January
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Courage stoner Scorpio.  January marks the beginning of a new year, and an opportunity to set positive intentions for progress and fulfillment that could last well into the future.

You are a powerful force within the stoner Zodiac my self-motivated Scorpion.  In January celestial forces will assist in grounding your powerful stoner star sign traits to your inner voice and motivations.  Use the sacred herb as a divining rod of inspiration.  The cannabis strain does not matter.  The positive intention you find in the glow of the burning bowl will light up the night, and your powers of manifestation.

Trust yourself stoner Scorpio.  Trust the magic of the sacred herb.  Together, you are a powerful cosmic combination!

A key to your powerful presence on the terrestrial plane is your patience, and discipline.  Allow your cannabis copilot to connect the drives of your internal voice to the outward projection of your physical existence.

With the sacred herbal-infused connection made to your internal voice, a fresh start and positive direction will be set in January.  The medicated meditations made today, could propel you forward into tomorrow, where passion and progress will be revealed.

Libra Stoner Horoscope January

Libra
Libra
Libra Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Libra, the new year will truly be a time to hit the reset button.  An opportunity to turn over a new, fresh, and frosty leaf.  Just remember that starting over doesn’t always mean you are starting at the bottom. 

What do you do when the stash jar gets low?  You reup. 

My balanced stoner, regardless of where you begin, 2022 is the year of the come up!  And when it comes to how high you climb, the sky won’t be the limit; only how big you dare to dream, and how hard you are willing to grind.

Your energy, enthusiasm, and aspirations are likely to be contagious in January. While others hide inside, away from the cool winter weather, you will be the friend with the greenest ganja.  Lighting up, lifting spirits, and inspiring your fellow cannasseurs to get off the couch, and to keep it moving!

Stoner Libra, just like two bowls is better than one, you will accomplish more of your goals by teaming up with like-minded partners in chronic. Begin each brainstorming session by sparking up some sweet sinsemilla.  That will help to get the synapses firing at full speed, and assist in unlocking maximum creative energy.

This time of constructive cooperation is more than just the old saying that ‘sharing is caring.’  It’s about teaming up to imagine and manifest what individually would have been thought inconceivable.

This January, stay busy stoner Libra, but don’t forget balance. Invoke the uplifting vapors of the sacred herb to help you soar to new heights.  But remember your cannabis copilot is also there whenever you need to come back down to earth.

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope January

Sagittarius
Sagittarius
Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope January
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It’s a new year stoner Sagittarius.  And with this change in calendar comes a cosmic breeze of energy and enthusiasm to fill your quiver.

Toke time with the sacred herb early in the month for a lifted strategy meditation session.  The New Moon on the 2nd marks a peak of cosmic energy sent your way.  Match bowls with the universe, and dare to dream stoner Sag.

But be careful my master Archer!  Avoid purebred cannabis strains.  Instead seek a nice Indica-Sativa hybrid for this energetic period.  The ideas will be flowing from your own instinct and universal support.  A pure Sativa cannabis strain could surge the energy in the universal amplifier to 11.  You aren’t a rock star stoner Sagittarius.  You are a warrior.

The important aspect of the January time period will not be in the high-minded idea generation, but instead it will be on the execution of high-minded ambitions.

Hence, a pure Sativa strain could get you stuck in a frenetic and manic stage of idea creation; and a pure Indica strain could negate the impact of the energetic universal blessing.

A 50-50 hybrid strain will utilize the perspective enhancing powers of your cannabis copilot, and leave you ready to act on your medicated meditations.

So dream big this month stoner Sagittarius, but don’t get stuck in your head.  There is action to accomplish on the terrestrial plane.  Unleash the cannabis enhanced powers of your mind, and follow the direction of your inner voice into productive battle.

Aries Stoner Horoscope January

Aries
Aries
Aries Stoner Horoscope January
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Inhale positive intentions.  Exhale positive manifestation.  It’s a new year stoner Aries!  Anything is possible, and it is all within you.

January brings a powerful lunar cycle with a Super New Moon on the 2nd, a Full Moon on the 17th, and a Black Moon on the 31st.  

Native Americans call the Full Moon of the 17th the Wolf Moon, as the luminosity draws the attention of all terrestrial spirits to the celestial cycle during the dark Winter month.

Now is the time for your future stoner Aries!  Toke time between the New Moon bookends meditating with the sacred herb.  Just you, your favorite piece, and the peace of the sacred herb.

Find multiple moments to steal away from the hustle and bustle of your energetic terrestrial life for medicated meditative solo smoke sessions.  Use your cannabis copilot to connect with your inner voice.  Magnify it’s volume.

The positive intentions you make this month will become the positive manifestations you reap in future periods.  There will be plenty of opportunities to howl at the Moon stoner Aries.  Toke time for self, and make sure you set the intentions today you want to fulfill tomorrow.

Leo Stoner Horoscope January

Leo
Leo
Leo Stoner Horoscope January
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Confidant. Compassionate. Charismatic. These are all words that are appropriate when it comes to describing the stoner Leo. And of course, I would never forget, ‘cannabis enthusiast’. But there will always be some who see your generosity as showing off; those who see your unwavering loyalty as domineering.

You can’t control how other people view you stoner Leo; so don’t waste time trying. Instead, pack yourself a bowl of the frostiest greens, breathe, and let it be. The only critic you should listen to this month is you! Even with all your confidence, or maybe because of it, you know when there is room for improvement. 

Spend time in the first days of the new year meditating, inhaling the perspective-expanding magic vapors of the sacred herb. The goal of this introspection isn’t just to find something wrong that you need to fix. This kind of medicated meditation will help you to discover and identify the things that you want to make even better.

Remember my stoner Lion:  January isn’t always about making grandiose resolutions.  Sometimes it is better to use this fresh start to plant the seeds for future growth in the areas of yourself you want to see flourish in the coming year.

Most of the month will be best spent puffing and planning. You may be eager to become the best version of yourself, but remember my lovely Leo, progress requires patience. However high you wish to rise, be confident that you will ultimately get there. But if you find that you become over eager to reach your final destination, know that your cannabis copilot is there to help you slow your roll. 

This month is the time to dream big. Just remember, that even the biggest dreams, even the tallest trees, began with the smallest seed.

Gemini Stoner Horoscope January

Gemini
Gemini
Gemini Stoner Horoscope January
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My spiritually flexible stoner Gemini, the January time period will test all of your skills of adaptability!  An easy task for the marijuana morphing Twin!

Puff puff pass on complex conundrums within smoke circle communications this month.  Recognize that everything is changing within the dynamics of your canna-crew.  

We’ve entered a new period of progress.  Shared stories and smoke sessions of the past will not relate to current cannabis communion.

Toke time early in the month to stock the stash jar with various cannabis strains.  Focus on flexibility with your sacred herbal medicine cabinet.  The power of the sacred herb can support you in so many ways.  Most importantly, the perspective enhancement of your third eye vision, as it relates to your cannabis companions, will be needed in the second Winter month.

Stoner Gemini, as you ride the energetic flow of the universe this month, use your cannabis copilot to see smoke squad dynamics with new eyes.  Terrestrial communications will be changing, but you will be changing as well.  Keep your third eye open to see the landscape from a higher perspective.

In the end, you are a flexible shape shifter stoner Gemini.  With the guidance of the sacred herb, this period will be a fun lesson in communication and companionship within the smoke circle.

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope January

Capricorn
Capricorn
Capricorn Stoner Horoscope January
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For most signs in the stoner Zodiac, New Year’s festivities mark the end of the celebratory holiday season. But for the stoner Capricorn, the party is just getting started! This month, it’s time to light up, breathe in the soothing vapors of the sacred herb, and let go of your inhibitions with every exhalation. 

You are still the same hardworking, ambitious, and persistent ganja-loving Sea-Goat, but January will be a season when you have full license to embrace and explore your more lighthearted side. 

Doing your job well, and advancing in your career, is still an important investment; but you will see the most notable growth in the spiritual and social spheres of life.

Take full advantage this month of any opportunity that arises for you to puff and philosophize with your partners-in-chronic.  Don’t pass on the chance to spend time talking and toking with your fellow terrestrial astronauts. Afterall, what better way to let loose at the end of a busy day than to relax and match bowls with your best buds.

Stoner Capricorn, you shouldn’t be surprised when you see your smoke circle expand in the second Winter month. In fact, your fun-loving, free spirit approach to life right now will be hard to resist!  The only thing you have to worry about is that your pieces are clean, and your stash jars are kept full. 

When you can, plan ahead and put some thought into your social smoke sessions. Perhaps a POT-luck is in order?  Everyone can bring their favorite stoney snack and sacred strain.  By the end of the ganja-gathering, everything should be consumed. Or, you can make a day of it by indulging in some extra strength edibles, and embarking on a 420 movie marathon.

Regardless of what weather Winter might bring, you can breathe easy with the knowledge that the cosmos has nothing but positive vibes and good times in store for you. But it will be up to you to keep the ganja burning and party grooving stoner Capricorn.