Tag Archives: Cancer sign

Cancer Stoner Horoscope May

Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope May
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Stoner Cancer, the days are getting longer, and the temperatures are heating up as Summer draws closer. So why does it still feel like gray clouds are hanging heavy overhead, and spring showers will never end?

Look around you stoner Cancer. If the sun’s out, and the skies are clear, but you still find yourself feeling hazy or blue, you may want to turn your focus from upward to inward.

Maybe you haven’t been able to fully shake off the melancholy that marred the Winter months. Perhaps grinding day-in and day-out has left you feeling more like a cog stuck in the corporate machine, and less like your usual chronic-loving Crabby self.

The universe is not conspiring to harsh your high stoner Cancer.  It will be up to you, with a little help from some sacred healing herbs, to get your groove back. In the early days of the month, take a step back and toke time to light up, rise up, and look at your situation from an elevated perspective. 

Remember my contemplative Crab, meditation can be manifested in many forms. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to hide away in a silent smoke-filled room, reflecting on past failures or resolving to do better in the future. 

Of course, you can choose to fire up a bowl of the greenest ganja, and pursue your peace by yourself. But you can also find your state of Zen on a Saturday afternoon spent with your cannabis companions hiking to your favorite smoke spot. 

Stoner Cancer, just know that you hold the key to making the most of May. Learn to light up and let go of whatever might be weighing you down, and your spirits will continue to rise with the temperature the whole month through.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope March

Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Cancer, at this point, you may be feeling a bit jealous of some of the other signs in the stoner Zodiac. Maybe you are a little annoyed at having watched some of your peers start the year with a meteoric rise, while you seemed to find yourself stuck on the launch pad. Well buckle up stoner Cancer, and prepare for takeoff, because this month it’s all systems go!

While you saw those in your sphere blast off and blaze bright at first, they didn’t do a very good job pacing themselves for the long haul. Now, you are seeing those same cannabis cosmonauts crashing back down to earth, out of gas, and low on green energy.  And it’s only March.

This month, light up and breathe easy my contemplative Crab; the days you spent at a slow burn will start to pay off. Those days when you thought you were falling behind, were really about preparing your cosmic space suit for the many terrestrial travels ahead. 

By rationing your reefer and energy over the past couple months, you have built up your reserves and ensured you will have enough of both to make this Spring one of the most happening and haziest ever.

Stoner Cancer, avoid making the same mistakes as your cannabis companions whose endo-adventures ended prematurely. In other words:  Slow your roll.

Keep your eye on your destination, but don’t forget to enjoy the journey. Toke the scenic route stoner Cancer. Feel the wind on your face, and those sweet sacred vapors in your lungs, as you make pit stops at your favorite smoke spots.

Stoner Cancer, you may feel like you’re finally getting your cosmic groove back. Just be sure to keep it moving at a sustainable pace, otherwise you risk running out of steam before you get to the hot and happy days of summer.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope January

Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope January
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Stoner Cancer, no one would ever dare to call you complacent. In fact, you are one of the least likely of the stoner Zodiac to succumb to couchlock. But, this month, it may not be such a bad thing if you spend a little more time smoking your favorite herbs from the comfort of your soft sofa or reliable recliner.

This inclination to stay medicated and reclined, is partly due to the fact that the New Year doesn’t necessarily promise the fresh start that it will bring for some. Rest assured, you won’t be forced to relive every chaotic moment of 2021, but you should expect the cosmic haze that has clouded your vision in recent months will linger a bit longer than it will for some of your cannabis companions. 

You don’t have to curb your enthusiasm my eternally-ambitious Crab, but it will be most beneficial to your peace-of-mind if you slow your roll. 

Because this slow rolling, float-on approach is not usually your style, you will need to seek help from the soothing vapors of the sacred herb. Afterall, you don’t want to become known as the chronically cranky Crab, just because the Cosmos is cramping your style.

Open the cannabis cabinet. Seek specific sacred strains for the right moment to find your chill. A couple of my favorite strains that I would recommend during this time are the ever-sweet Gelato, and the always classic Purple Haze.  These strains, and others like them, will help to unleash your creativity without going to your head. Use your cannabis copilot to get your ideas onto paper, but soothe the urge to implement them before they are fully formed.

It may be a challenge in the first couple days of the New Year, but at least for now, my sweet stoner Cancer, the goal is to keep it lowkey and forward looking.  Stay focused on the long game, and avoid rushing ahead.