Tag Archives: strain recommendation

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope June

Scorpio
Scorpio
Scorpio Stoner Horoscope June
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Stoner Scorpio you are a resilient amazing creature.  This month will test every astrological characteristic flowing within you.  Remember your resiliency stoner Scorpio.  As waves of positive and negative charges lap at your internal beachfront, it will be your ability to plot forward toward progress that sees you through this turbulent time.

Whoa, that was dramatic.  Perhaps the month won’t play out like an action film, but more like a romantic comedy.  The bottom line is to prepare for wide arcs of influence from celestial bodies.

Nobody knows you better than yourself, my secretive stoner Scorpion.  Stock the stash jars with a wide range of cannabis strains.  This wide selection will allow you to pack the right bud at the right moment.  Trust yourself to be your own bud tender for the month.

You are the cannanaut of your own terrestrial experience.  But if I could create a guide for the month within the sacred herbal species, I would suggest:

First Decade:  Energetic Sativa.  This will be a phase of learned growth.  The more energy the better!

Second Decade:  Indica Dominant Hybrid.  Your stinger will be sharpest during this phase.  Blend clear communicative outpouring with measured contemplative thought.

Third Decade:  High CBD Strain.  Feelings will come rushing in at this stage.  Balance and clarity of thought must stabilize your sphere.

A wide range of emotions may seem daunting, but with the assistance of the sacred herb you will be able to view this month from a thirty thousand foot view.  You will emerge stronger stoner Scorpio. 

Aries Stoner Horoscope May

Aries
Aries
Aries Stoner Horoscope May
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Stoner Aries should receive constructive blessings from the cosmos in May.  What are you building?  Where are you growing?

My unrestrained Ram, think about the final Spring month as a time to bring the life of the party to your work sphere.  There is much to do and much to accomplish.  The planetary alignment supports all systems GO!

Allow your mind to wander from the smoke circle stoner Aries.  Mercury enters retrograde this month, and with this cosmic conundrum comes diminished communications with cannabis companions.

Head strong arguments among friends could pose long lasting injury.  Celebratory bowls of the sacred herb will not be missed this month; matching sessions with canna-buddies will be replaced by solo excursions of quiet contemplation with self.  

Stoner Aries, this may seem antithetical to your natural drives, but the scenario should play out naturally as the month progresses.  Best buds and cannabis companions will be there when the work is done.   

All of this should flow just fine in your daily routine stoner Aries.  You will bring the life of the party to the workplace!  The Ram is quite adept at climbing steep cliffs.  This month will be focused on ascending higher into the economic ecosystem.  Whether it be that half baked idea you have been meditating on, or straight forward time on the work clock, exciting results will show from attendance and attention.

Don’t worry stoner Aries, the pot infused party will return to the personal sphere in the future.  You may be so busy building projects and pouring foundations of success for the future, perhaps you won’t notice missing out on smoke circle dramatics.

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope March

Capricorn
Capricorn
Capricorn Stoner Horoscope March
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It’s over stoner Capricorn!  All the swag analogies and bunk bud predictions of continued struggles are done!  March represents a rebirth for the stoner Sea-Goat.  Now, you can truly start to climb the cliffs of progress.

Early in the month around the time of the New Moon on the 2nd, toke time with your sacred herbal guide.  Sink deep into a medicated meditative state.  Use this solo adventure with cannabis as a sort of internal house cleaning.  Flush out the struggles of the past, and open the pathways for progress in the future.

Use this solo deep dive with the sacred herb as a way to set the stage for positivity in March.  The cosmic influence is changing.  Prepare yourself for brighter days so that when the transition occurs, you will be eager to seize the day instead of confused by the circumstances.

With the deep cleansing solo dive out of the way, stock the stash jars with light and airy Sativa cannabis strains.  The cannabis experience for the remainder of the month should invoke creativity and flexibility more so than a contemplative medicated state.  The flexibility found within a light regiment with the sacred herb will allow balance within this positive transition.

Cleanse the spirit.  Heal the body.  Reset the mind.  Everything that follows will be connected to your true internal drives.  Everything will be possible once again stoner Capricorn.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope March

Cancer
Cancer
Cancer Stoner Horoscope March
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Stoner Cancer, at this point, you may be feeling a bit jealous of some of the other signs in the stoner Zodiac. Maybe you are a little annoyed at having watched some of your peers start the year with a meteoric rise, while you seemed to find yourself stuck on the launch pad. Well buckle up stoner Cancer, and prepare for takeoff, because this month it’s all systems go!

While you saw those in your sphere blast off and blaze bright at first, they didn’t do a very good job pacing themselves for the long haul. Now, you are seeing those same cannabis cosmonauts crashing back down to earth, out of gas, and low on green energy.  And it’s only March.

This month, light up and breathe easy my contemplative Crab; the days you spent at a slow burn will start to pay off. Those days when you thought you were falling behind, were really about preparing your cosmic space suit for the many terrestrial travels ahead. 

By rationing your reefer and energy over the past couple months, you have built up your reserves and ensured you will have enough of both to make this Spring one of the most happening and haziest ever.

Stoner Cancer, avoid making the same mistakes as your cannabis companions whose endo-adventures ended prematurely. In other words:  Slow your roll.

Keep your eye on your destination, but don’t forget to enjoy the journey. Toke the scenic route stoner Cancer. Feel the wind on your face, and those sweet sacred vapors in your lungs, as you make pit stops at your favorite smoke spots.

Stoner Cancer, you may feel like you’re finally getting your cosmic groove back. Just be sure to keep it moving at a sustainable pace, otherwise you risk running out of steam before you get to the hot and happy days of summer.

Leo Stoner Horoscope February

Leo
Leo
Leo Stoner Horoscope February
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Stoner Leo, you headed into the New Year with optimistic anticipation, excited to say goodbye to all the rough waters you navigated through 2021. But, like many of your cannabis cohorts, your eagerness may have clouded your vision leaving you unable to see the equally rough rapids January had in store.

The bad news: unfortunately, my stoner Leo, I cannot say that the cosmos are ready to clear the skies and calm the choppy waters quite yet.

This means that during this transitional period in February, you will need to toke it day by day. Use these last days of hazy uncertainty to grind up, light up, and allow the healing vapors of the sacred herb to make the much-needed repairs to your cosmic space suit.

The good news: there’s not much further to go before you will once again be flowing along peaceful cosmic currents.

Stoner Leo, since you are stuck in standby month, you might as well make the most of it! You should put off making any big decisions or taking long trips during this time. So, hit up your partners-in-chronic, gather up everyone’s favorite sativa or indica selections, and smoke until the path ahead becomes clearer. 

Don’t let yourself feel down if it doesn’t feel like you’re moving forward fast enough this month, stoner Leo. Sometimes we just need to sit with stillness. Allow the sacred sinsemilla to serve as the backdrop for these peaceful sessions of THC inspired tranquility. 

Stoner Leo, you will be back to your full fiery ferocity next month; space-cruising through terrestrial planes, reaching new highs and new destinations. But, at least for the moment, it is best to burn your bowls close to home and let your imagination do the wandering! 

Aries Stoner Horoscope January

Aries
Aries
Aries Stoner Horoscope January
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Inhale positive intentions.  Exhale positive manifestation.  It’s a new year stoner Aries!  Anything is possible, and it is all within you.

January brings a powerful lunar cycle with a Super New Moon on the 2nd, a Full Moon on the 17th, and a Black Moon on the 31st.  

Native Americans call the Full Moon of the 17th the Wolf Moon, as the luminosity draws the attention of all terrestrial spirits to the celestial cycle during the dark Winter month.

Now is the time for your future stoner Aries!  Toke time between the New Moon bookends meditating with the sacred herb.  Just you, your favorite piece, and the peace of the sacred herb.

Find multiple moments to steal away from the hustle and bustle of your energetic terrestrial life for medicated meditative solo smoke sessions.  Use your cannabis copilot to connect with your inner voice.  Magnify it’s volume.

The positive intentions you make this month will become the positive manifestations you reap in future periods.  There will be plenty of opportunities to howl at the Moon stoner Aries.  Toke time for self, and make sure you set the intentions today you want to fulfill tomorrow.