Scorpio

Water Sign – The Scorpion – October 23 – November 21

The stoner Scorpio may be considered a wild card in the stoner Zodiac. The combination of psychic skills and calculated long-term planning creates a mysterious perception of the stoner Scorpion. But who wouldn’t want a clairvoyant careful planner in their smoke circle?

The stoner Scorpio draws a lot of their universal intentions from the emotional realm. As with life and roller coasters, emotional based navigation can lead to ups and downs. A well balanced hybrid strain like Mango Kush or Cheese is the best match for the stoner Scorpio. The sacred herb can balance mood while enhancing their third eye vision.

Be gentle with a stoner Scorpio when they enter your smoke circle. The stoner Scorpion is guarded among bud loving buddies, but they really open up once they become a close cannabis companion.

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Scorpio Stoner Horoscope September

Stoner Scorpio the first Fall month comes with a variety of cosmic influences.  Your journey is yours to walk alone, but with the right cannabis prescription, perhaps you will have a keen green spirit to guide your path.

September starts off with hazy smoke clouds that obscure decision making.  The Full Moon on the 1st may cause your internal wires to get a bit crossed.  Toke time for a toke break to release yourself from anxieties surrounding projects and impending decisions.  The smoke break will give you time to gain clarity within the frustration.  And perhaps the sacred herb will send you the key analytics to make your decision easier.

This might be a sluggish way to start the month, but cosmic clouds clear only a few days after the Full Moon.  Like a rubber band snapping back, you will emerge from the haze with intense clarity.  But be forewarned stoner Scorpio:  This newfound kick butt and take names attitude may seem empowering in the moment, but it will cause long lasting repercussions within the smoke circle.  I suggest tamping down the enthusiasm with a relaxing cannabis strain.  The Pink Champagne sacred strain should do nicely.  Empowered decision making won’t be deterred, but it may come with softer edges for the sake of your cannabis companions.

In the sphere of romance, there is a particular date that should be noted on the calendar.  The New Moon of the 17th marks a dangerous and exciting time in the month regarding interpersonal relationships within the smoke circle.  First, my fierce Scorpion, smoke a bowl and chill in the days leading up to the New Moon.  The universe might be sending some aggressive vibes your way.  Puff puff pass on being the negative instigator with your canna-crew.  Next, after the New Moon, the opportunity for romance is sure to bloom like that big fat cola topping the sacred plant of life.  Keep this in mind for romantic endeavors after the New Moon:  Heartfelt efforts may not see immediate results.  Like some varieties of the sacred herb, your efforts may have a creeper affect.

Dragon Shooter Steamroller

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Scorpio the month of August will be filled with challenges and triumphs.  Gears within the grinder of life may become stuck with sticky communication; but once these gears break free, cosmic support will give a gentle push in the direction of progress.

Little Scorpion be forewarned:  Complexities within communication will cause tension and misunderstanding.  But the sting of conflict will be brief!  Rise above the fray stoner Scorpio.  Chill out with the sacred herb in moments of frustration.  Cloud up the room, and give hazy communication time to clear.  All will return to normal operation within the smoke circle once calm, chill, and medicated heads have time to gain an elevated perspective.

Pay attention to dreams early in the month.  Develop the habit of journaling your dreams.  Smoke about it, and write about it.  Even drawings or brief notes will suffice.  What may not seem cogent or connected at the time, could become instrumental to progress near the end of the month.

Be mindful of workplace sabotage as the New Moon of the 18th approaches. The days preceding the New Moon could be strife with uncooperative, and down-right obstructive, behavior.  Now you know what to look for stoner Scorpio.  Manifest patience and keen third eyesight with meditative smoke sessions with the sacred herb.  From a higher elevation, you will see this behavior more as an anomaly than an entrenched pattern.  Perhaps you will decide to diffuse the situation with kindness and understanding.  Allow the wisdom of the sacred herb to guide your defensive strategy.

The New Moon of the 18th also marks a line of transition for cosmic support.  Before the New Moon it may seem like you are on a defensive footing, but after the lunar event the gears of the universe should loosen.  This will allow a freedom of movement unseen in August.  Use this freedom of movement within the universal influence to celebrate and recreate with cannabis companions and smoke circle acquaintances.  Remember those dreams early in the month stoner Scorpio?  Now is the time they may become more clear in your cosmic timeline.  Do not sacrifice your mental or physical health for the sake of others.  There will be plenty of opportunities to puff puff pass with like minded tokers, with kindness and progress at heart.  End the month with a bowl and a bang stoner Scorpio, it’s your time!

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope July

Stoner Scorpio July sets up to be a calm drift, floating in the river of life on our cosmic spaceship, flying through the universe.  Can there be a better month than July to puff on, and float on?

Whether you are a single Scorpion, or a partnered Eagle, July promises to bring flirtatious fun to the personal sphere.  Remember stoner Scorpio, you are on a great lazy float in the cosmic river.  All sacred strains of cannabis are open on this stream.  But be sure to share bowls with your canna-crew.  Don’t waste your energy, or your high, chasing anyone in particular.  The river of influence will take you to your destination without worry.  Relax, take it all in, and go with what feels right.  The stoner fam will be there for you no matter what you are holding, and no matter where you are going.

Ok stoner Scorpio, all this fun flirting floating along the river of life is great right?  But, you have to make the scratch to pay for that pipe, and the sacred green kush that goes in it.  Yes, there will be work in July.  If you become too frizzle-fried from a day in the sun, or too frosty from burning tree late at night, important business tasks may slip.   Be sure to set up weigh stations, and reminders, along the river banks to help you keep the economic machine grinding along.  You can do it all my fearless Scorpion!  Perhaps an investment in sticky notes will help you maintain some modicum of terrestrial responsibility as you float the lazy cosmic river.

Maybe this funny note will help you remember your responsibilities:  July 14th is National Nude Day.  On the 15th there will be a cosmic wind pulling your terrestrial tube toward a reprimand.  So, make a note!  Get your shit together by the 14th of July, or you might be caught naked, and exposed.  As long as you get through this test mid month, you will be matching bowls with cannabis companions the remainder of the period without a schedule, or care in the world.  

Float on!  I’m totally jealous, my fierce Scorpion!

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope June

Stoner Scorpio whatever kindness and good karma you’ve earned in the past is returning to you in the transition to Summer!  You work hard to make those around you feel welcomed and appreciated.  And, in June the cosmos will remind you how much others appreciate you!  If life is a garden, yours is entering into a period of bountiful harvests, and buds in full bloom.  This doesn’t mean there won’t be work still to be done.  But you can rest a bit easier, and reflect on all you have achieved, while preparing for the next chapter of your stoney adventure.  The secret will be to emphasize efficiency stoner Scorpio.  Stay focused on the task at hand when it is time to be productive.  Find balance between the work and personal sphere early in the month.  You will get your to-do list done quickly, and maximize time for recreation.  

Stoner Scorpio the changing of the seasons is the perfect time to mix things up at work.  Use this period to finish up outstanding projects, and plan for the next quarter.  Now is a good time for a thorough, big-picture assessment.  Toke time with the sacred herb to float high above, and analyze your current station.  This may even mean taking some losses and letting go of projects that don’t show the same promise they once did.  This reevaluation will require collaboration and cooperation by the entire team, which could heighten tensions amongst crew members.  Keeping the peace will be crucial for forward progress.  Whether or not you pack the peace pipe and share a bowl after work, it will benefit everyone to meet on a common, hopefully higher, plain.  If this doesn’t work, individual meditative smoke sessions over the weekend can help everyone clear their minds, gather their thoughts, find their zen, and start with a fresh perspective on Monday.  

The stars have aligned in your favor this month, stoner Scorpio.  You don’t have to worry much about external forces pushing you off course during your cosmic travels.  Because of this, you will have the opportunity to turn your focus inward.  Grind your favorite strain, find a quiet place, light one up, and find your center.  Keep your smoke circle tight this month stoner Scorpio:  Best buds only!  It’s not that you should avoid new smoke buddies; but your focus should be on finding your own zen, not smoke circle expansion.  Knowing what you’re smoking, and knowing who you are smoking with, will ensure you enjoy only good greens, good company, and good vibes as you embrace the start of Summer.  

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope May

Stoner Scorpio the month of May will be quite an adventure.  It is likely you will feel every emotion as you fly high on the terrestrial spectrum.  As long as you keep your head while you are feeding your consciousness, May should be an enjoyable flight.

But this month is a tricky high.  Ups and downs will roll in and out like a potent edible.  Maintain balance amid shifting landscape with a balanced hybrid strain.  This should smooth out the potential to swing too far in one direction.  The key to a roller coaster emotional time period is to prevent the highs from becoming so high as they create a calamitous fall, and to stave off an emotional downward spiral of despair.  Remember stoner Scorpio, you can’t see where you are going with your head in the clouds.  Even when you are at your depths of emotional tolerance, there is always a new landscape around the corner.

The same balanced approach should be targeted within the work sphere.  Grind out new projects early in the month, but be prepared to make adjustments, and corrections, as the month progresses.  This balanced hybrid herbal prescription should help avoid getting too cocky with newfound success, and a level head when obstacles crash into the best laid plans.

Good news for single stoner Scorpios:  Passions are high in May.  Results may vary, but prepare for a significant, and influential, entry into your smoke circle.  But again stoner Scorpio, temper any expectations.  Puff puff pass on presumption, and go with the flow.  Your trusty cannabis hybrid copilot will keep you grounded.  Even partnered Scorpios pick up valuable new human influence this month.  And it is this influence that could take you to the next level of progress.  New smoke circle acquaintances will lead to new revelations.  Perhaps even unlocking that tricky obstacle that has held you back.

Good luck stoner Scorpio.  May should be a thrilling adventure, enjoy the ride.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope April

Stoner Scorpio, it is not others’ attention you should worry about attracting this month, it is your own.  We’re not out of the cold yet stoner Scorpio. The hot then cool spells of Spring can cause fluctuation in your well being and attitude. Self-care should be the first and foremost focus of your efforts.  A consistent regimen of exercise and endocannabinoid exposure can prove to be just the remedy needed to combat complacency and couch lock. Puff often and press on stoner Scorpio. The sweet smoke of the sacred sensimilla will help settle the mind, and keep the spirit grounded as you sail toward the sunnier days of Summer.  

Stoner Scorpio now is not the time for day dreams or head-in-the-clouds imaginations.  Now is the time to get those hands dirty, to dig deep, and keep your nose on the grind.  While not everyone is going to agree with your opinion, most of your peers at work are willing to have the conversation.  If you are fortunate enough to get to toke time with your coworkers, moments of communal medicinal meditation will allow you to figure out the right words to get your point across.  Meet in the middle stoner Scorpio, and you will be able to maintain the momentum needed to make April a month of progress and profitable achievements. As long as you are true to yourself, and true to your word, all of the canna-crew will find themselves reaching their goals, and rising to the next level of accomplishment.  

Charming, charismatic, and flattering, are all words partners-in-chronic might use to describe you stoner Scorpio.  But, during this period, the most crucial will be…compromising. It takes two to tango, and if you’re not dancing to the same tune, then toes will definitely get stepped on.  Relationship growth will require both parties to learn to lead and follow. Stoner Scorpio if you can’t learn to do both, you may find yourself dancing alone. But, this is simply advice, not a warning.  Just remember to keep the playlist filled with bumpin’ beats, a freshly ground bowl always packed for two, and you will find the sweet days of Summer here before you know it.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Scorpio March is often a time of physical renewal.  Ah yes, ‘Spring cleaning’ is the tried and true terrestrial term.  As trite as this phrase has become, there are real implications and applications to the intent.  And with the current planetary alignment, it is truly time to clean out your closets stoner Scorpio.

Toke time to relax, breathe deep, inhale the sacred herb, and slow the rapid pace of the economic grind.  The blessing of the cosmic influence in March will be the neutral, or static, effects on the work sphere. Yes of course stoner Scorpio, you still have to have your hand on the wheel, and your eye’s on the road, but everything should be smooth sailing in the work sphere in March.

Spring cleaning in March will be focused on the personal sphere.  As with some of our favorite sacred herbal varieties, this personal cleansing will be a hybrid of sorts.  Personal progress will come from both internal and external deep cleaning. Match this theme with light and airy sacred hybrid strains.  Perhaps a Sativa dominant strain for moments cleaning your physical space, and an Indica dominant hybrid for moments of deep internal contemplation.

Physical cleaning is fairly straightforward.  Focus on physical space that will improve contentment and satisfaction.  In other words, work on those projects that linger in the back of your head.  You will be amazed at what peace will come from finally knocking that task off the to-do list.

Stoner Scorpio the internal Spring cleaning is more challenging and esoteric.  Toke time for a deep medicated dive early in the month. This meditative exercise with the sacred herb should be focused on exposing the clutter in your internal closet.  Yes, my viscous Scorpion, this exercise can be unpleasant and contrary to your emotional directives. However, in order to clean the closet, you have to turn on the light.  Once this exercise is complete, the real work can begin. This month may set up to be a solitary period of several solo smoke sessions, versus experiences puff puff passing with the extended smoke circle.  You have work to do stoner Scorpio; it’s up to you to set the time aside to get it done. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to confront emotional challenges stuffed into your internal closet. Once these deep seeded conflicts have been exposed to the light, you will see they can be scrubbed clean and left forever.

What an exciting time stoner Scorpio!  Large leaps of progress come from deep cleaning with the sacred herb.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope February

You’re not the only one stoner Scorpio, who is susceptible to the drain and droll of the dreariness of winter.  Looking back, simply surviving January was quite an achievement. However, this struggle has likely left you with the feeling that your outcomes have not been proportional to your efforts.  Even though your plans do not always manifest in the ways you imagine, and at times it can feel like everything is going wrong, the only antidote is to stay strong and toke on. It is recommended you stick to the Sativa side of of the sensimilla spectrum.  When you’re feeling a little low, its energizing and inspiring properties can be just the pick-me-up needed to get back to a higher level of productivity.  

Selfcare is not just an emerging trend stoner Scorpio; for you, this month, it will be absolutely necessary to your success and ability to stay on the grind.  This does not mean spend all day ‘resting’ on the couch. Extended couch-lock is to be explicitly avoided! The focus of smoke sessions this month should be to clear the mind and rejuvenate the spirits. Toke time early and often in the beginning of February for meditative smoke sessions and medicating moments.  Then continue with frequent consistency throughout the remainder of the month. The goal during this period is long term well being, stoner Scorpio, not momentary gratification. While the weather is far from stellar, sunnier days will be here soon enough. You want to be well rested and centered for when the days are longer; otherwise you will be ill prepared to embark upon all the endo-excursions Spring has in store.  

Overall, your monetary assets are not a big concern.  It is your spiritual finances you should keep a close eye on.  My spirited Scorpion, I have just the mantra to help you through this uncertainty:  “I’m worth it!” Unfortunately, you are not the only stoner sign who is feeling less than 100.  Those nearest you may be experiencing the same struggles, and simply not showing it. With limited energy available during these times, remember, YOU are the best investment you can make!  Only once you have found your own inner balance will you be able to help those who could benefit from a kind hand or open ear. It’s been said: A friend with the weed, is a friend indeed. Sometimes, just knowing there is someone who is down to ride with you, high or low, is all that’s needed to get you through to the otherside.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope January

Stoner Scorpio many of the stoner signs are going to hear their horoscopes say things like “it’s a new year, a new you,” and all the potential and promise a “fresh start” can bring.  And this is true for you too my deadly Scorpion. But you are not starting completely anew. You are not the tiny seed becoming a new being. Your journey will be a more slight and subtle transformation.  Your story is like that of the forest trees: Shedding their leaves during the winter to make way for sturdier, greener growth, as the seasons progress. The difference, however, unlike the trees, is you get to control the direction you grow stoner Scorpio.  It may be starting that art project you’ve been contemplating, taking up a hobby you’ve often thought intriguing, or simply exploring the great outdoors cataloging the sweetest, secret smoke spots. No matter your direction, remember to enjoy the journey. Don’t worry if you’re not an immediate expert in every endeavor.  The cosmos is calling, and you will gain higher mastery along the way.

Success in the workplace is achievable and expected this month stoner Scorpio.  But, to what extent and how far you move up the ladder, will depend on your ability to distinguish between what you want to improve, and what you need to improve.  You may have your sights set on showing management you are ready for the next level.  You might just want to become the go-to coworker when others are stuck when solving problems.  These are solid aspirations. However, you will see greater growth by focusing on lessening weaknesses versus increasing your strengths.  Toke time for some solo smoke sessions to meditate on this: If you breed a strain only to increase the THC content, yes you will create a more potent product with the potential to get you higher.  But, if you have the goal of creating a better balanced bud that contains both THC and CBD, you will have a more versatile strain with higher potential. Balance and quality should be your growth goals in the workplace.  

Stoner Scorpio it is always hard to hear criticism.  There is much to learn from your closest cannabis companions, but there are also plenty who wish to criticize without the intention of improving.  For those people, light one up and rise above defensive reaction. Engrain only comments which come from a place of love. Rise above, learn from love, find a steady groove and achieve endless growth of spirit.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope December

Stoner Scorpio December will be a month of discovery.  There will be no investigation or cosmic journey required for this discovery.  Sometimes knowledge and progression come through no insight or process. Hence, buckle up tight, twist the joint just right, and enjoy the ride.

Jack Herer once said of his discovery of cannabis, “Pot changed my life.  I began to hear my own words back to me as judgments. I put on earphones and heard music in color for the first time.”  Often the largest shifts in consciousness come as an accident and without warning. My stoner Scorpion you must be prepared for grand realizations, and a shift in perspective this month.  The current planetary alignment could shake the known terrestrial plane as you see it. But breathe deep, inhale the sacred herb, and know that everything will be alright. There is no particular cannabis strain prescription for December.  However, you must toke time during the busy holiday season to contemplate with the sacred herb in quiet moments of introspection. When these universal truths hit you, you must give them adequate respect and thought. The risk of December is to run yourself ragged without personal time to reflect.  The cosmic knowledge bombs could come and go without you taking possession of the progressional depth of understanding.

There will be challenges and obstacles in the personal and work sphere this month.  At work, new directives may arise without warning increasing your responsibility. You got this stoner Scorpio.  Use the sacred herb as your confident copilot. You are up to the challenge! Use the sacred herb as a catalyst for perspective shifting analysis and confidence in self.  

Challenges and obstacles within the personal sphere will be more internal than physical.  Burying valid emotions is not the best path forward. However, unleashing an emotional carpet bombing campaign on cannabis companions, and smoke circle acquaintances, is not the right option either.  Burn a bowl instead of bridges. Seek clarity with internal feelings and find the best way to manifest them through valid communication. The longer you keep valid emotions bottled up, the more explosive pressure will build within.  Three steps to remember in December stoner Scorpio: Validate, Contemplate, Communicate.