Tag Archives: zodiac

Aries Stoner Horoscope March

Happy early birthday stoner Aries! The universe will rain blessings of positivity in the first Spring month.  With a mindful third eye toward your sacred strain selections, an internal conversation with your inner voice, and a canna-collaborative attitude at work, progress and success are assured.

Stoner Aries March is offering you the perfect opportunity to delve deep into your sense of self, and your place, on our terrestrial plane. Load the stash jar with a balanced hybrid, toke some time with your feelings, and explore those things you’ve kept hidden from yourself. But be forewarned stoner Aries: Try not to let the smoke cloud your progress. Now is not the time to be self-defeating while in your introspective space. The cosmos is blessing you with some much needed confidence and courage to change things. Harness this energy my stoner Ram.  

In the work sphere this month, channel your bravery, self-starting attitude, action-oriented perspective, and natural ability to lead. Stoner Aries, March is calling for you to put the contemplative efforts of the last few months into action. If possible, sit down with your corporate canna crew this month and puff puff pass inspiration. It’s time to get things done, so make sure to choose a light and bright Sativa dominant species this month within work focused smoke sessions. You’ll want to avoid couchlock at all costs, and instead use the sacred herb as a catalyst to put thoughts into action regarding your place within the economic machine. You have the power to create the perfect space within the daily grind; so get to it!   

March will offer two different perspectives, stoner Ram. Personal moments of meditative smoke sessions will require a balanced hybrid to break up the busyness of the work sphere, while a Sativa dominant strain of the sacred herb within the economic machine will help you harness the innovative and original energy the cosmos is offering. Make sure smoke sessions are centered around open and honest communication with the canna-fam, as well as yourself. Stoner Aries, this unreserved sincerity will illuminate the path to peace and tranquility throughout March. 

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Aquarius those who know you may call you many things: Independent, cleverly quirky, determined, and assertive. One word that will never be used to describe is conformist. No, you dance to the beat of your own unique drum. You blaze the smoky trails others are too unimaginative or too timid to traverse. Be sure to plan out the itinerary for your March travels early in the month. Although you are a spontaneous, and a free-spirited wild child, your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts may not always be so adventurous. As long as your partners in chronic know where they’re strolling, and know what you’re smoking, they will be down to brave the trip with you. 

My stoner Water-Bearer, you don’t have to wait for the new season to make meaningful moves. If you’ve been contemplating a career change, or applying for a position higher up in your current company, go for it! You have the intellect, charm, and ability to make it to the next level; and help to raise up the rest of the team too. Even if you are feeling good with where you are in your career stoner Aquarius, there’s nothing wrong with a side hustle to help you earn a little more green. Whether your motivation is more money, or simply the satisfaction of creating something, you have the potential this month to turn your passion projects into profit. Toke time with the sacred herb to contemplate your place in the grand scheme of our economic machine.  While your creative energy might be at an all time high, and you have an abundance of ideas you could pursue, pick your top two or three ideas, and focus on those. If you don’t narrow your focus, and actually start creating, you may reach the end of the month with nothing to show but daydreams and big ideas.  

Stoner Aquarius you will feel your energy and optimism swell until they finally overflow on the Spring equinox. The last ten days of March you might find yourself overwhelmed, but in a good way. With so many ideas for creative endeavors, and seemingly infinite desire to manifest them, don’t forget to make time to just unwind. Lighting up a fresh bowl with your closest cannabis companions can help to calm the mind, and restore the spirit. And those hazy conversations in smoke filled rooms at night may just spark clear inspiration for your next grand undertaking ahead.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope February

Stoner Cancer, even though 2021 is well underway, you may still be feeling the weight of lingering obligations from the past weeks and months. The only way to lighten the load is to light one up and let things go. Finish up any outstanding obligations and worthwhile endeavors, and get back to the grind with a clean slate. Now is also a good time to go through the stash box, and get rid of any greens that have gone brown, or strains you know that you’ll never actually smoke. Whether it’s starting over with an updated to-do list, or purging your herbal supplies, February will offer the much needed reevaluation of projects and priorities.

Stoner Cancer don’t take any tensions in the workplace personally this month. While you may be party to the problem, it will be important to remember that everyone is experiencing heightened emotions during this time of cosmic miscommunication. The remedy to opposing viewpoints is open conversation and communal commitment to getting the job done. Not everyone has the same taste stoner Cancer. Some are team Indica, some are forever team Sativa. Just like your smoke sessions at home, it will be up to each member of the team to find their own preferences and strengths.  Blaze ahead until you’ve burned through all the work that needs to be done.

Stoner Cancer, even in the most tumultuous times, you will always be able to get by with a little help from your friends. Even if your coworkers question your motives, or if you doubt your abilities, you have partners in chronic who believe in you. Those in your inner smoke circle will always be ready to help you haze up the room and clear your mind. My feisty Crab, you will always be safe to explore life, the universe, and everything when in the presence of your closest cannabis companions. Whether your travels lead you to your favorite remote smokespot, or your journey is as far as your couch, you will always be ready for the next adventure when you have good greens and great company.

Libra Stoner Horoscope January

Stoner Libra you are in a good place, and the month of January will accentuate this position nicely.  But watch out for heightened expectations regarding outward progress on the terrestrial plane.  The cosmic influence in the second Winter month will be more about consolidating internal contentment and exploring familial understanding.

Whoa, English right?  Be prepared my balanced cosmic gymnast:  January will be a month of “the feels.”  Fill the stash jar with the Indica species of the sacred herb stoner Libra.  “Consolidating internal contentment” means universal influence will favor deep thoughts about who you are, and how you got here.  Think of solo smoke sessions with the sacred herb as a self psychological exam.  If ‘contentment’ isn’t a word you would use to describe your current position before these deep medicated meditations, then perhaps it will be a descriptor after these exercises.  The bottom line is that time must be toked to ponder internal questions seeking connection with the outward existence.

This internal sacred exercise blends well with the second phase of universal progress this month.  “Exploring familial understanding” will accentuate the deep solo medicated smoke sessions.  As you look to connect contentment between internal motives and outward drives, including deep analysis of your canna-fam will supplement your actions.   Stoner Libra, this aspect of January may be where you catch the most ‘feels’.  I have no cannabis strain prescription for this aspect of the month.  The only sacred prescription is to seek out meaningful smoke sessions with those you love most.  Perhaps your cannabis companions need to hear how much they mean to you.  

What a month stoner Libra!  Perhaps this cannabis inspired vision is not the exciting terrestrial mission you want to hear, but the deeper meaning behind an influence like this is more richly rewarding and progressive.  There is no terrestrial value that can be placed on connected moments within yourself, and your inner smoke circle.  Smoke up, think deep, and bring the tissues.

Virgo Stoner Horoscope January

Stoner Virgo you are a unique terrestrial astronaut flying through the galaxy on our cosmic spaceship.  You are a hard worker; organized in your routine and ambitious undertakings.  This month will provide a break from routine.  Prepare to feed your head instead of the to-do list in January.  There may be uncomfortable aspects to the second Winter month, but with the sacred herb as your spiritual guide, you can navigate these unfamiliar spaces with great personal progress.  Different isn’t a dirty word my anal retentive stoner, sometimes it can be an opportunity.

Stoner Virgo there is a specific opportunity presented by a universal influence to innovate within the work sphere.  In the days preceding the New Moon of the 12th, make time for a group strategy session.  If you are able to combust the sacred herb with your coworkers, perhaps ideas and plans will illuminate with the passing of a joint.  No matter the method or occupation, be sure to lead, communicate, and collaborate before the New Moon.

As a double dose of positivity, a universal influence will give a positive push to personal endeavors in the days after the New Moon of the 12th.  Toke time to meditate with the sacred herb, and take time for a passion project or hobby that has gone neglected during busy past periods.

Busy bird stoner Virgo.  There may be parts of January that drift without winds of action.  For an active stoner, the lack of motion can bring boredom or even depression.  Do not fight these moments of cosmic malaise stoner Virgo.  These moments are an opportunity.  Select an Indica cannabis strain from your sacred stash jar for these moments.  Toke time to reflect on the hurried and busy nature of yourself, and the world.  Perhaps you need a break, and now is the time.  It is in these medicated meditative moments with the sacred herb where you might find new direction in personal health.  Cosmic stagnation can lead to personal epiphanies.  Use the sacred herb to transfer moments of possible boredom or depression into moments of contemplation and recovery.  Feed your head stoner Virgin.  Take care of mind, body, and spirit.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope January

If 2020 was a bag of bud, most would probably say it was schwag. Too harsh, almost unsmokable, and filled with stems and seeds. Where others might see a sack full of disappointment, you see potential stoner Taurus. Because you know that instead of smoking, you can plant those seeds. What may start out as unwanted and unfortunate beginnings, can grow and blossom into something wonderful. Be mindful that it will take more than a just-add-water effort to cultivate the bountiful harvest you desire; but you can get there if you put in the effort. All the setbacks and shortcomings of the past are now experience and wisdom you can employ to make the year ahead what you want it to be!

Stoner Taurus when it comes to the work sphere, you don’t have to start over to make a fresh start. Of course, if you’ve been contemplating switching jobs, the new year is a great time to do so. But, sometimes the simplest cure to the wear and tear of the daily grind is a change of view. Whether you find this new perspective with the help of the sacred herb, or by meditating in a peaceful spot in nature, you will be able to see the big picture more clearly from this higher vantage point. If you want to change the output, you have to change the input stoner Taurus. Embrace your creative side, and incorporate your passions into your nine to five.  You will find renewed satisfaction in a job well done. 

It’s always nice to have cannabis companions who are down to roll one up, and who are always ready to blaze new trails. But, don’t let whether or not you have company change your plans for travel in January. Even if you embark on your 2021 terrestrial journey tokin’ and trekking solo, there will be plenty of potential canna-buddies along the way. Be sure to keep your stash jars full, and your itinerary empty, especially in the first weeks of the new year. Universal influence may call you to far off lands of wonder, or keep you close to home to explore local landmarks. As long as you have your trusted travel piece, and good herb, you will be ready for whatever adventures await.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope January

Stoner Scorpio the beginning to 2021 will be a blessing from the universe.  With the right blend of medication and meditation, your inner self will find contentment while you make plans for great progress on the terrestrial plane.

It’s time to focus on the inner smoke circle stoner Scorpio.  Cannabis companions and the canna-fam will need your attention and spirit.  But keep in mind this is a selfless task.  Don’t stop and wait for acknowledgement or praise.  The time spent burning bowls and passing joints with those you care about will be all the reward generated by the universe.  

Grand adventures on the terrestrial plane will wait for other periods as this month will be more about life as a domestic astronaut.  As you focus on family, also take on special missions directed at your inner self and domicile.  A secluded life as a home-body is in the cosmic cards for January.  Use the inspirational aspects of the sacred herb to address changes or alterations you wish to make at home and with yourself.  In many ways, January can be looked at as a great month to make improvements in relationships and home-life; and aren’t those the things that matter most?

I have a specific warning for you stoner Scorpio:  The sharp sting of your poisonous tail could be a danger between the 8th and the 12th.  The waning crescent moon on the 8th marks a period where emotions and tempers could fall out of control.  Dig into your stash of Indica strains during this period.  Perhaps make plans for those deep solo medicated planning sessions during this time.  Above all, recognize that you possess a dangerous weapon in your sharp stinger.  You don’t want to hurt close cannabis companions with unintended strikes.  Use the calming nature of the sacred herb to chill out in heated moments.  You can always reflect back, and assess what really matters on the New Moon of the 12th.

Positive meditations in January will possess positive manifestations in future time periods.  Where do you want to be in the future?  Toke time to storyboard this grand desire.  Puff puff plan with the sacred herb.  This medicated exercise will have a powerful effect, setting in motion the magic of manifestation.  I know stoner Scorpio, you are too clever for the magic mojo.  So I will say it plainly:  

Step 1.  Toke time to meditate on where you want to go.  

Step 2.  Toke time to develop a plan of action.

Step 3.  The process begins one toke at a time!

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope January

The waiting is over stoner Sagittarius! You finally get to say goodbye to 2020, and look forward to the next chapter of your stoney adventure. Although you might be excited and feeling optimistic at all the opportunity and potential the new year holds, you should proceed with deliberate and calculated intent. You may be ready to unleash a year’s worth of restless energy and blaze full speed ahead, but for future success, it is crucial to let the residual smoke settle. You’re in it for the long haul stoner Sagittarius. Before you can harvest, you must plant. While you can’t expect immediate results, remember that the seeds you sow in the early days of 2021 will ensure lush and vibrant growth in the months ahead. 

Strong roots are important stoner Sagittarius. They keep us grounded and give us the strength to weather the roughest winds. But, the branches above the surface must be malleable, and ready to alter course in ever unpredictable conditions if you want to thrive. Achievement in the workplace will directly correlate to your ability to adapt to the situation at hand. Unique problems will call for unique and creative approaches to solve them. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst for inspiration my ardent Archer.  Get out the pen and notepad, the pipe and fresh ground nugs, and get to brainstorming. With persistent effort and positive thinking, you and the team will be able to hash out a plan to tackle even the most challenging obstacles. 

Stoner Sag, you may start off January feeling elated; a natural high at all the possibility and promise of the days ahead. Don’t let the end of January sneak up on you. There is plenty of work to get done, but don’t forget to toke time to relax and recreate with your partners in chronic. They were the ones who stuck with you during the highs, and the lows, of 2020. They will be the ones who will be ready to roll one up no matter what lies ahead. Only the cosmos knows what the hazy days of tomorrow have in store stoner Sagittarius, but you can be confident you will always be able to rise above with the help of good green and your best buds.

Pisces Stoner Horoscope January

Stoner Pisces instead of fireworks this New Year, you can expect January to start off at a slow and steady burn.  But this perfectly rolled joint will grow into a full blaze towards the month’s end. Take notes during the slow days, and plan for the busier conclusion.  Toke time in the first week to puff puff pause, and put together the final pieces of the 2020 puzzle.  Put last year in your rear view mirror because the days of 2021 promise the potential of higher levels of adventure and achievement. Invoke the inspiration of the sacred herb early and often stoner Pisces. With a little assistance from the sweet sensimilla, what at first feels like restless energy, will channel into productive and creative endeavors.

My stoner Fish, after the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, the entire canna-crew deserves time to relax and regroup.  If your coworkers are 420 friendly, schedule some off-the-clock extracurricular team building exercises. Perhaps a POT-luck is in order, or a marijuana movie marathon.  Create a safe space where everyone brings their favorite munchies, and shows up in their finest casual friday apparel. Getting to know your coworkers in a less formal setting can strengthen bonds, and offer an open forum for people to get feedback on the half-baked ideas they were too intimidated to share. What might start out as hazy concepts, may develop into blueprints ready to be implemented.

Stoner Pisces any lingering tensions or bad vibes amongst your smoke circle from 2020 will be easily remedied by the passing of the peace pipe. Most problems arise from miscommunication. If you toke-one-up and talk-it-out, you and your partners-in-chronic can rise above any confrontation. Once everyone is grooving to the same cosmic beat, you can all get back to your terrestrial travels in higher spirits. Remember stoner Pisces, you don’t always have to travel far for adventure. As long as you have that good ganja close, and great people closer, you will start your 2021 adventure in smokin style.

Leo Stoner Horoscope January

I received a vision from the cosmos through my sacred meditations regarding the stoner Leo for the January time period.  It’s of a physically fit Lion pulling its hair out!  This made me think of my favorite cartoon from the 90’s:  Joe Normal .. “I’m normal!  I’m normal!”  The bottom line to January is that things could be worse, and everything is going to be ok.

The cannabis prescription for the second Winter month could be a little tricky.  Everything physical will be going great guns, but mental stress could derail your good vibes.  It could be all in your head; so smooth tokes of the marijuana smoke might slow you down enough to gain perspective, and ease through those stressful moments.  However, nothing is more terrifying for a stoner Leo than to be trapped inside their own head, which could compound the stressful feelings.  Therefore a CBD heavy hybrid strain will work great this month.  The CBD will help you lean into the satisfied physical state with a healthy cannabis regiment.  But the mild THC will give you that head change to rise above the stress of the day without trapping your head in consuming clouds.  If the head change becomes a bit much, or maybe not enough, just remember stoner Leo:  “I’m normal!  I’m normal!”

The great blessing from the universe during January will be in the sphere of personal relationships.  That hybrid cannabis prescription should keep you chill as you bounce from one smoke circle to another.  Enjoy and appreciate being in your element.  Close cannabis companions and even distant smoke circle acquaintances will all notice something different about your strut.  Pay attention during your sacred smoke outs to the subtle nuance of each individual.  The true blessing this month won’t be anything you receive, but instead the strengthened bonds you secure within the canna-fam.  Stoner Leo January will be an additive experience to the progress of your life.  With the sacred herb as your trusted chill side-kick, you will sure to be a networking superhero on the terrestrial plane.