Tag Archives: #stoner

Virgo Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Virgo the first Spring month will be like our favorite plant.  More precisely, like a cannabis garden. It may sound cliche when we say things like, “Life is a garden, dig it.”  In March the comparison runs deeper. You can expect to experience it all stoner Virgo: The struggle of seeding, the restless hopefulness of a vegetative state, and ultimately the rewarding feeling when your efforts fully flower.  

Do not put on those rose colored glasses quite yet, stoner Virgo.  The first decade of March will be marred by notable struggles. You will feel dueling cosmic forces pulling you in conflicting directions:  The highs will be high, and unfortunately equally low lows. During this time you will be uniquely positioned to turn opposition into opportunity, and nurture your spiritual and mental gardens. What begins as a confusing and chaotic time, will clear, and become more concise as you weed out what isn’t working and invest your energy into prospects more likely to bear fruit, or at least into activities that bring you joy. 

Your economic dealings should follow a similar template of caution followed by deliberate determination.  Do not start off the month taking long shots with uncertain payoffs. On the clock, don’t take on more than you know you can get done.  Make sure you have clearly stated goals, stick to the grind, and you will make it through. However, during your free hours, you should have a different goal in mind:  Make sure you toke the time to light up your favorite strain of the sacred herb. Meditate and recreate with the sacred herb often stoner Virgo. Remember, all toils are temporary, as long as you toke time to focus on the big picture, and long term well being.

The 9th marks the emergence of the full moon.  Be ready stoner Virgo. While this will not be a cure all for momentary maladies, the immense lunar presence will shine light, and aid you in transitioning into full grow mode.  Veg time is over stoner Virgo. If you spent the early days nurturing worthwhile projects, and your cosmic space suit, you can expect a bountiful harvest, and a period of continued elevation.  Even if you do not go too wild, it will be a time of personal expansion and great endo-exploration. Moments of pause will give way to progress, and you will have cosmic blessings to pursue your passions.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Taurus you may feel like cosmic influence has been blowing you around, aimlessly, without your consent, and out of your control.  But remember, it is not the height of the giant sycamores that keep them strong against the wind, it is their roots. Spring has officially arrived!  You need to focus on nurturing your roots, letting them grow wide and deep. This will be your only defense during a period of likely tumultuous transition. Find your center stoner Taurus, and do what is needed to stay there.  Find a kushy, calming strain early in the month, and fire it up often. This will be especially helpful during the ides of March. Although there is nothing to beware, simply keep all eyes open and be aware.

This month is not the time to take great risks in the workplace.  Do your work and do it well, but it’s better to be diligently working for that paycheck than taking the long shot on winning the lottery.  Success on the job will be contingent upon coordination and collaboration with coworkers; although this may be easier said than done. Communication will be necessary, but potentially complicated at times.  Don’t rely on second hand information! If there is something that needs to be said, make sure all pertaining parties are present. This will avoid discrepancies of what is said and what was meant. If you start out this open dialogue early in the month, your team will be able to avoid wasting time bickering, and spend more time backing each other up.

While it will be a group effort to keep the conversation going in the workplace, it will fall on you stoner Taurus to reach out to your closest cannabis companions.  Take a leadership role organizing the smoke circle and sparking up joints and conversations at home. In particular, keep the third eye vision in tune. Look out for those who might be missing from the smoke circle.  Members of the canna-crew might not be inclined to speak up when they are down, so you must reach out with a shared bowl and open heart. You don’t have to solve problems stoner Taurus. Sometimes all you need is a little green, a packed piece, and a partner-in-chronic to share it with. Do this as often as time permits, and everyone involved will find themselves more grounded and ready to branch out to greater heights during the approaching Summer months.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Scorpio March is often a time of physical renewal.  Ah yes, ‘Spring cleaning’ is the tried and true terrestrial term.  As trite as this phrase has become, there are real implications and applications to the intent.  And with the current planetary alignment, it is truly time to clean out your closets stoner Scorpio.

Toke time to relax, breathe deep, inhale the sacred herb, and slow the rapid pace of the economic grind.  The blessing of the cosmic influence in March will be the neutral, or static, effects on the work sphere. Yes of course stoner Scorpio, you still have to have your hand on the wheel, and your eye’s on the road, but everything should be smooth sailing in the work sphere in March.

Spring cleaning in March will be focused on the personal sphere.  As with some of our favorite sacred herbal varieties, this personal cleansing will be a hybrid of sorts.  Personal progress will come from both internal and external deep cleaning. Match this theme with light and airy sacred hybrid strains.  Perhaps a Sativa dominant strain for moments cleaning your physical space, and an Indica dominant hybrid for moments of deep internal contemplation.

Physical cleaning is fairly straightforward.  Focus on physical space that will improve contentment and satisfaction.  In other words, work on those projects that linger in the back of your head.  You will be amazed at what peace will come from finally knocking that task off the to-do list.

Stoner Scorpio the internal Spring cleaning is more challenging and esoteric.  Toke time for a deep medicated dive early in the month. This meditative exercise with the sacred herb should be focused on exposing the clutter in your internal closet.  Yes, my viscous Scorpion, this exercise can be unpleasant and contrary to your emotional directives. However, in order to clean the closet, you have to turn on the light.  Once this exercise is complete, the real work can begin. This month may set up to be a solitary period of several solo smoke sessions, versus experiences puff puff passing with the extended smoke circle.  You have work to do stoner Scorpio; it’s up to you to set the time aside to get it done. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to confront emotional challenges stuffed into your internal closet. Once these deep seeded conflicts have been exposed to the light, you will see they can be scrubbed clean and left forever.

What an exciting time stoner Scorpio!  Large leaps of progress come from deep cleaning with the sacred herb.

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Sagittarius March will be a time when patience will be pertinent to any perceivable possibility of success.  The skies will be hazy, and the horizon will be unclear to say the least. Now is not the time to rush ahead without a clearly charted path.  The best bet is to stay calm and puff on. You may not be able to control the chaos of the cosmos, but you can certainly do what is needed to rise above the fray, and achieve an elevated line of sight.  Your ten thousand foot vantage point, stoner Sagittarius, will not necessarily give you the competitive edge you might have hoped, but the view will be nice.  

Risk assessment in the workplace should be taken with the utmost sincerity.  Each achievement will be hardwon and slow to come to fruition. Play the long game stoner Sagittarius.  On your own, you can expect to encounter innumerable obstacles and frequent setbacks. The winning game plan will ultimately be a group effort.  A friend with weed is a friend indeed, and a work peer with a clear vision forward should be considered a trusted companion. If you are fortunate enough to get to share the peace pipe with your fellow cannabis comrades at work, then let the creative and constructive smoke sessions commence.  If you are required to keep your 420 friendly nature on the downlow, then use time off the clock for marijuana musings and thinking outside the box.

While you should anticipate slow and modest growth when it comes to financial and career advancements, your highest marks will be in the personal sphere.  If you already have a partner stoner Sag, know that bonds are certain to grow. Pack that bowl for two, and remember there is still much left to be revealed. Single Sagittarius’ should remain open minded and open to the idea of chance encounters.  Spring is upon us, and hours of daylight are only growing longer. Fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts will be ready to recreate with you under the sunny and smoke-filled skies. This could mean finding that special cannabis companion who will join you in all of your future endo-excursions, or a friendly platonic partner-in-chronic who is always down to roll one up.  Whatever the case, this March, your smoke circle will see substantial expansion stoner Sag.

Pisces Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Pisces in the wise words of the ever eternal band, the original sound sherpas themselves, The Beatles, “All You Need is Love.”  In March this love must start with you stoner Pisces. Known for their acute emotional perceptiveness, the moon child stoner zodiac will be called upon to use their sensitive superpowers to spread good vibes all around. Along with kindness, the stoner Pisces will have a great opportunity to share sacred herbal secrets with their ever expanding smoke circle. Have you discovered a go-to cannabis strain to lift the spirits stoner Pisces?  If so, don’t keep it a secret! And of course, you can always puff puff pass those sticky classics like White Widow or the ever pungent Sour Diesel.

As mentioned, love is in the air.  This could be romantic, platonic, or love of self stoner Pisces.  This does not mean there will be no critics or those who envy your elated disposition.  But, do not waste precious energy entertaining or indulging the naysayers, especially when it comes to efforts on the clock.  You have a job to do! You can’t control others’ jealousy or critical comments, but you can make sure you are focused on the mission at hand, and do your part to avoid unnecessary confrontation with coworkers.  Even if there is tension in the air, you can breathe easy knowing that the workday will end, and soon enough you can light one up, and rise above.

One place you will find solace and resounding peace is the homefront.  Alone time, or that spent with your closest cannabis companions should be spent recharging the mental batteries.  Align your chakras, balance your Chi, or awaken your third eye sight. Whichever term you prefer, marijuana meditations should be a part of your weekly March rituals.  This will be crucial to future success stoner Pisces. It has been a long, daunting winter season, but Spring will soon be here. Relax, refresh, and roast one up! You may have hunkered down during cold cloudy days enjoying your bowls from the comfort of your couch, but all that is about to shift into a higher gear. The days are growing longer, and the promise of cosmic adventures are on the horizon.  Ready your cosmic space suit stoner Pisces, and prepare for takeoff.

Libra Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Libras have the good fortune of looking forward to a Summer of Love, this 2020.  But, before they get to the hot and hazy days filled with endless outdoor endo-excursions, they can expect the Spring to be a predominantly peaceful period.  Nobody needs to tell you to stay calm, but puff on you should. Find a sacred herbal strain early in the month, and stick with it. AC/DC and Critical Mass come highly recommended! Whatever variety you choose, consistency with your cannabis consumption will aid in maintaining steady momentum toward progress.

Be forewarned stoner Libra:  You can, and should, partake often in communing with the sacred herb this month.  But avoid couchlock at all costs! Medicating and meditating with purpose can mean the difference between expanding the mind with your marijuana musings, or straying away from your peaceful path into mindless meanderings. The cosmos has no clear demands or detriment intended for you this month; which means you will largely get to advance your agenda on your own terms. There will be opportunities to take the scenic route and stop to smoke the flowers; but overall, set your course, and keep your ultimate destination in sight.

Stoner Libra, stick primarily to the tried and true when it comes to the daily grind and personal finances.  If you invest conservatively early in the month, you will have more reserves to indulge in the second half of the month. There is nothing wrong with spending a little extra to get the kindest bud.  No guilt needs to be felt if you choose to escape for a recreational weekend reprieve. But remember, you have to make it to spend it stoner Libra; no garden flourishes without first cultivating healthy soil. Tend to the tasks in front of you, and you will consistently tick off those to-dos and stack high that spendable green!  

Single and partnered stoner Libras alike, can expect new revelations in the realm of romance.  This could mean meeting the person who is soon to become your closest cannabis companion, or seeing your current partner-in-chronic in a new light.  What is certain is that you are entering a time of great interpersonal discovery. Keep the piece pipe packed, and your mind, heart, and lines of communication open.  As long as you breathe easy, and be honest with those in your smoke circle, March will be the next step toward a comfortable, peaceful, and chronic-filled year.

Leo Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Leo let’s look at March as a tale of two periods.  In the first half, the work sphere will take precedence as hard work and focus on communication will rule the period.  Eventually the economic grind will flow into a period of great personal importance.

First, let’s focus on the first half where you will be grinding more at work than chopping up the great green at home.  The great news about the cosmic influence during this period is that it flows right into your strengths stoner Leo. The key to unlocking great grinding success at work will be your strong communication skills.  But be forewarned: Important communications should be done in person versus over the Internet or telephone. When opportunities for toking do come about in the first half of March, keep the smoke sessions lite. Perhaps smooth smoking on a high CDB strain will maintain the connection with the sacred herb, while leaving you connected to the terrestrial plane. 

The second half of March will have a more personal focus from the universal influence.  Save the Spring cleaning for after the work is done stoner Leo. Don’t rush large home projects, there will be plenty of time this month.  More notable will be the breadth of sacred herbal strains available in the second half, and the learned opportunities that will come from your terrestrial adventures.  Expand the mind and feed the soul during this period. Use the sacred her as a catalyst to seek out information and answers to great internal questions.

Don’t ignore the unassuming tokers in the smoke circle this month.  They could be puffing on quiet wisdom. All you have to do is share a bowl, and perhaps this meek canna-buddy has the key to unlocking a breakthrough of understanding.

The full Moon of the 9th marks a great opportunity to begin physical preparations for summer.  Yes stoner Leo, this may mean curtailing the snacking, and getting on the bike once again. Have you lost the impetus to maintain a healthy spacesuit?  The full Moon comes with great cosmic energy to reinvigorate a healthy regiment. Puff puff pass on lazy attitudes!

Gemini Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Gemini sometimes in periods of calm universal influence, the main culprit of negativity can be ourselves.  The month of March will assuredly bring a still universal impact. This will create unrestricted freedom of movement on the terrestrial plane; but without care and concern this stagnant cosmic atmosphere can leave the Twin unfettered regarding self harm.

Ok stoner Gemini, maybe self harm is a hyperbolic turn of phrase.  Be sure to toke time for a solo medicated meditative smoke session with the sacred herb to focus on personal responsibility.  There will be numerous bear traps of drama and pitfalls of negativity plain to see as you travel the terrestrial plane in March.  So if these dangers are known and obvious, who’s fault is it if the trap is sprung or the pit is visited?

Creating your own negative downward spiral of despair is the risk of March, but there are benefits to a stagnant cosmic influence as well.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to engage your third eye to clearly see the obvious traps and pitfalls in your path. At the same time, you must use the inspiration and creative effects of the sacred herb to forge a path of least resistance to positive outcomes.  That’s a mouthful, but the stoner Twin will be traveling the terrestrial plane under their own cosmic power in March. Where you go is up to you, both physically and emotionally.

Toke time for the details stoner Gemini.  Relax, breathe deep, inhale the sacred herb.  So many details in life can pass us by when we are focused on the hustle and bustle of the economic grind.  A slower pace will reward the stoner vision of the Twin in March, especially before the New Moon on the 24th.  Toke time to contemplate what physical needs you have, that maybe you have neglected. Perhaps this is a few afternoon naps, or getting out to walk the dog consistently.  As you are powering your movement unencumbered from cosmic influence, be sure to toke time for self stoner Gemini.

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Capricorn March sets up to be a month of managed frustration and great personal growth.  Cosmic influences will align with your stoner star sign traits. As you well know, this can be good and bad.  This synergistic convergence will create a month of great opportunity for the diligent and practical Sea Goat.  But you must traverse the terrestrial cliffs with great care and a keen third eye for loose stones.

Of all the stoner star signs, you stoner Capricorn require a stash jar of varied cannabis strains.  Terrestrial travels through March will demonstrate this requirement more so than any other month in 2020.  Puff the Maui Strawberry Sativa strain for moments requiring diligence and discipline. Pack the bowl with Blue Dream Sativa dominant hybrid for studious moments of ambition.  Keep the deep Indica species for those moments chillin’ with the canna-crew and family. 

There are great moments of frustration and enlightenment in March stoner Capricorn.  First, the workplace will be the source of frustration. The majority of obstacles and speed bumps will come from the economic sphere.  However, your natural persistence, diligence, and discipline will see you through any curve balls from the cosmos. That low THC Maui Strawberry will come in handy for the focused grind ahead.  Second, you should open yourself up to packing your bowl, and head, full of learned inspiration this month. The Blue Dream strain will do just fine to assist in energetic and ambitious moments of building knowledge.  Personal growth will come from opportunities of learning. Seek them out and smoke up the wisdom. Third, be prepared to assist members of your canna-family and cann-crew. Older sage smokers can be a great source of knowledge, but they also need love and attention.  Toke time to roll one up, and be present as a listener and companion, to a member of your smoke circle. Enrichment and fulfillment will come from this noble exercise.

Good luck stoner Capricorn.  Just remember, your strengths are your weapons in this cosmic battle of progress.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Cancer March could be seen as walking on a bed of hot coals.  Scary, with the potential for danger, but rewarding and empowering after completion.  The planetary forecast this month is cloudy with a chance of sunshine. A bit rainy at work with a high probability of sun breaks at home.

Know thyself stoner Cancer.  Toke time this month for meditative smoke sessions focused on how your stellar star sign traits reflect out into the world.  Looking in the mirror can be difficult, but great terrestrial knowledge could be looking back at you. Holding feelings close to the vest could be perceived as cold hearted.  Your perception of privacy within professionalism can be perceived as cold and insensitive. Avoid defensive reactions, and understand the perspective of others. You don’t have to break with your perception of privacy within professionalism to communicate more within the work sphere.  You don’t have to change who you are, but understanding how you come off is crucial. Often, clear communication can solve problems with perceptions.

All this third eye vision focused on self reflection to fight negativity in the workplace fits perfectly into the planetary positioning of personal influence.  Deep dives into the reflection in the mirror should be coupled with concerted moments of self care in March. Thus, these medicated moments all lead to an opportunity for self improvement, and a mental health breakthrough.  Meditative smoke sessions in March will lead to self repair and self care. Within your quest to see how you are perceived by your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts there will be Easter eggs of enlightenment on your path toward better emotional and physical well being.  Supplement the solo smoke sessions with a regiment of CBD medibles. Analytical staring in the mirror can bring anxiety to the surface. The CBD regiment will assist dampening the negative effects of these deep dives into self.  

The full Moon on the 9th is an important date.  The cosmic influence of March will shine brightest on this date.  This will be the perfect time for that deep medicated solo dive into self.  Looking into the mirror to analyze your reflection can be scary, like that hot bed of coals; but after your journey is complete, the rich rewards will propel you toward emotional progress.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to improve your connection to smoke circle canna-buddies and coworkers. You are so brave my stoner Crab, you can do it!