Tag Archives: #stoner

Aries Stoner Horoscope August

August finds the stoner Aries feeling themselves, cruising along in an above average groove that can be expected to flow throughout the entirety of the month.  As the first of the stoner Zodiac, you will ultimately have executive decision making authority as to how the smokey scenes play out during the cannabis infused chapters of your Summer.  Although you may find yourself at the helm, commander of your cosmic space cruiser, understand that the journey will be much more memorable with a trusted partner-in-chronic sitting shotgun!  A trusted co-pilot can mean the difference between smokin’ solo, or having someone to puff puff pass with when you need to pause, and pack a bowl, at a crucial crossroad.  In other words, they can be the canna-confidant who talks, and tokes, with you before you pick which path you hope leads to greener pastures. 

Stoner Aries while it can be helpful and lucrative to keep the long-game in mind, don’t plan out your calendar for work too far in advance this month.  Circumstances are subject to, and are likely to, change.  Your most valuable asset in your sacred tool chest during this season will be flexibility.  Even the most well-rolled joint can tear and run unexpectedly.  These stoner boner tears may also affect projects you were certain were a surefire win.  Don’t panic stoner Aries!  Assess, adapt, and apply the new approaches necessary to get the job done.  Use the sacred herb to enhance your elevated third eye vision.  As long as you are learning as you go, you can turn setbacks into new skills, and reimagine obstacles as opportunities, to advance toward higher levels of achievement.  You can’t always avoid the possibility of the stash having a couple seeds in it, but you may be pleasantly surprised by what may grow if you plant them.

When it comes to recreation and relationships, the stars have aligned to deliver the stoner Aries the greatest good vibes of the season.  The only way drama will find you my irrepressible Ram, is if you go looking for it.  Keep puffing and passing to those you already consider to be a part of your most inner smoke circle.  You can count on any ill will, or unwanted negativity, to get lost in the haze.  Stick with your trustworthy tokin’ terrestrial astronauts, and your tried-and-true cannabis strains stoner Aries, and you are sure to keep your spirit high all Summer.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Cancer you spent the last month moving at a mile a minute, soaking up the sun, and finding the sweetest smoke spots.  While you should keep blazing trails, and continue your stoney adventures, August should also be a time to take pause.  Toke time to reflect on where you’ve been, so you can look forward to where you want to go.  In other words my lovely stoner Crab:  Make sure you set aside time to stop to smell, and smoke, the flowers.  You don’t have to be a master of meditation, just light one up, mellow out, and connect with your inner self.  You may be happy with what you find stoner Cancer.  But, these short, yet frequent, moments of introspection can help you keep your chakras aligned, and deepen your Zen state of mind.  The greater your bliss, the better you will be able to share your positive vibrations with your stoner family.

You have accrued substantial karma points with your work performance so far in 2020.  Although it wasn’t always easy, your persistence, and dedication has meant successful outcomes in all of your endeavors.  Stoner Cancer now it is time to cash in on your hard work and investment.  While you can thank the sacred herb for helping you rise above, you only have yourself to thank for moving higher up the ranks in the workplace.  You might finally get the position you have been working towards, or maybe it’s time to completely change your surroundings with a new company.  However you decide to switch it up, you will find yourself in a better position to showcase your abilities, and can expect more green on payday.  

Stoner Cancer, do you believe in a thing called love?  You should!  Whether it’s your lifelong partner-in-chronic, smoke circle friends, the canna-fam, or your newest cannasseur compatriot, good vibes and kind buds will be the common thread that ties you all together.  It’s summer after all; temperatures and spirits are only going to get higher.  Bumps and bruised feelings are always a possibility, but with a little help from your favorite strain, and the peace pipe, any obstacle can be overcome.  With everyone floating along on a happier, higher frequency, you can get back to what really matters:  Spending time tokin’, talkin’, and puff puff passing the smoke-filled summer days.

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Capricorn August promises to be as refreshing as a cool Summer breeze.  Life is good.  Perhaps some adventurous classic rock should blast from your speakers this month during the day, and some celebratory Jimmy Buffet calypso music at night.  All strain options are open for your cannabis prescription during the second Summer month my smokey Sea-Goat.

I have a specific vision surrounding the New Moon of the 18th:  Avoid large smoke-outs stoner Capricorn.  In the few days after the New Moon there will be an opportunity to gather with a large smoke circle.  Unfortunately the planetary alignment will not support you in this endeavor.  Instead, keep your social smoke sessions to close cannabis companions in the days after the New Moon.

Things are going good.  There is a natural confidence that has developed from this blessed period.  Obstacles pop up, and you deliberately knock them down like an expert at whack-a-mole.  Be forewarned stoner Capricorn:  A confident and relaxed stride can leave you vulnerable to a complex and unexpected obstacle.  This exact situation will arise during your Summer August strole toward progress.  Use the sacred herb to enhance your third eye vision.  Since you are so good right now at solving problems, perhaps you can create more than one solution when a pesky obstacle pops up.  Toke time for a contemplative meditative smoke session with the sacred herb.  Instead of a quick whack at that mole of an obstacle, toke time to analyze and see beyond your quick solution.  With your herbally enhanced proactive problem solving in place, even the most complex hidden obstacles won’t take away from your confident stride toward progress.

Stoner Capricorn, speaking of progress:  There will be a warm cosmic wind of advancement within the personal sphere this month.  Whether you are single or in a partnership, this wind will fill your sails, and stoke the sacred bowl of life.  You do not need any predictive instructions to take advantage.  As long as you maintain communication with your inner voice through sacred herbal meditations, everything will work out with splendor.  You be you stoner Capricorn.  Funny, witty, direct, patient, and strong are the traits that set you apart.  Let them shine within the canna-crew, among smoke circle acquaintances, and with cannabis companions.  Trust and love thyself stoner Capricorn.

Gemini Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Gemini this could be the Summer of happy Twins.  The sun is out, the bowls are lit, and the Twins are content.  The current planetary alignment ensures mutual admiration within relationships with low resistance toward progress.  Now that’s a Summer forecast I can smoke to.

First, this is great news within the work sphere.  There will be numerous opportunities in August to participate, and share, within a team dynamic.  Relax my lovely Twin.  Personal progress can come from the collective achievement of the team.  Flow this month without restriction like a natty perc that operates with open diffusion.  Bask in the glow of success without the worry of credit or accolades.

Second, there is a great opportunity for collective magic within the smoke circle this month.  Treat your broad smoke circle with trust and compassion stoner Gemini.  It will be like a mutual admiration toker’s society in August.  Let interpersonal relationships flow with ease, but make sure to reflect back the admiration and respect you receive.  Matching bowls leads to matching inspirations.

Toke notes with the cannabis smoke this month:  A sharp tongue can wound close cannabis companions.  We all know you are funny stoner Gemini, but sometimes there is a fine line between funny, and hurtful, with your daring adventures in comedy.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to seek clarity, caution, and wisdom with internal dialogues before they become external painful pranks.  Sometimes the sharpest witt, can cut.  Using a higher perspective will save face, and leave room for stoney Summer stories another time.

Don’t get jumpy at the end of the month stoner Gemini.  Stagnant cosmic air should be used for planning and task execution.  Just because the universe leaves room for adventure, does not mean it comes without risk.  Avoid whimsical leaps of chance at sudden opportunity.  An expected fat celebratory bowl could likely turn into a bunk bag of schwag.  Stoner Gemini stick to what is known and proven in the final trimester of August.  Quickly developed decisions with risk will not be rewarded.

Leo Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Leo this month while everyone is roasting beneath the Summer sun, you will be a source of refreshing relief to your fellow tokin’ terrestrials. Like a cool, smoke-filled oasis in a hot and hazy land, others cannot help but to be drawn into your welcoming orbit. You keep people intrigued, and amazed, by your seemingly endless optimism; but the secret is simple:  You just want everyone around you to have the best time possible!  Whether it’s giving a few nugs to a friend whose stash is getting low, or sharing a bowl while a cannabis companion decompresses after a rough day at the office, everyone who crosses your path will leave with their spirit lifted.

Stoner Leo off the clock you are known as the wild Lion, always down to light one up, and ready to embark upon innumerable endo-excursions with the cannabis crew. But, when it comes to getting work done, you are often the first one to show up, and the last one to leave. Everyone knows you are serious when it comes to business matters. This sometimes means long hours at the office, but your persistent grind is certain to catch the attention of peers and higher-ups, and may result in an elevated position. New hires, and longtime coworkers are certain to notice the roaring pace at which you get the job done. While you aren’t the only one who is working hard, you can help to harness the team’s creativity, and channel the energy into tangible results. Under your leadership, when it comes to progress and achievement, the sky is truly the limit.

In your eagerness to help your fellow stoner space travelers, to lift their spirits, you sometimes put off addressing what it is that makes you a happy stoner Leo. But, others notice. Whether it is your closest cannabis cohorts, or your lifelong partner-in-chronic, remember that you are surrounded by others who want nothing but to see you smile. Summer is certain to be filled with good vibes and endless good times, as long as you keep your jars filled, and a bowl packed for two. Know that if sharing is caring stoner Leo, you possess a lion’s share of both!

Libra Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Libra the month of August will be a grand adventure.  But even within the most ambitious progressive undertakings, obstacles will be present.  The good news is that these obstacles will be limited to personal relationships, and only for a limited time.  A rollercoaster of good and bad cosmic vibes will create a wild ride within the smoke circle for the first half of the month.  But with a prescription of calm meditations with the sacred herb, mystery and obscurity will be thwarted by clarity of revelations.

Stoner Libra, puff puff plan for flexibility within the personal sphere in the first half of the month.  Relax on your strident claims of justice until all the facts come out.  Perhaps the plan from sacred meditative smoke sessions is simply to apply more patience in cloudy situations.  There will be plenty of breaks of clarity within stormy emotions.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to make kind judgements within these breaks of cosmic clarity.  The gears of the cosmic grinder break free after the 15th.  Obscure smoke clouds become clear smoke signals within communications in the canna-fam. 

Stoner Libra, within the work sphere, August is a team effort.  It will be imperative to create a plan and execute within the calendar days of the month.  Your participation, and or leadership within this cosmic deadline, will be instrumental in the team’s success.  Toke time off the clock to meditate with the sacred herb.  Create a blank mental state, and allow your internal voice to rise with sacred communication.  Each stoner Libra is a unique terrestrial astronaut, but the requirements to achieve this work mission are within each individual.  Soak up internal confidence from sacred meditations, and apply your internal talents and skills to the job at hand.

The sacred herb can be used as a tool for progress in August.  First, as a calming tool to increase patience and perception within the personal sphere.  Second, as a tuning fork of internal confidence within the work sphere.  With the sacred herb as a tool in your cosmic mission, progress in August is assured!

Pisces Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Pisces you are used to taking care of other stoner star signs, and willing to do what is necessary to soothe their spirits.  But, what do YOU need this month?  What are YOU  passionate about stoner Pisces?  At the beginning of the month, you may feel like a fish out of water with all of your fellow cannabis companions noticing your shimmering aura.  Don’t let it go to your head, but embrace the attention and the ensuing compliments.  You will always be the friend with the good green, ready and waiting to share with those in need; just remember that it’s okay to be the one who picks out the munchies, and who gets to decide where the canna-crew goes on your next endo-excursion.  Once you settle into this new found place at the center of the stage, you will discover that all those quirks you thought too strange to share, are exactly what attracted those to your smokey orbit in the first place.  

August is not the time to swim against the current stoner Pisces.  Don’t waste energy trying to swim upstream, instead focus on navigating the rapids so you reach your goal with the least resistance.  Toke time to mediate with the sacred herb to draw out your strengths.  Put full effort into excelling in those areas.  It may seem like your contributions are small, but trust that they will have a big impact.  Aim for the efficient, not the elaborate; by narrowing your focus, you are sure to get greater returns on your energy investment.  

Summer is not lost on you stoner Pisces.  Whether you adventure alone or with a partner-in-chronic, the great outdoors is calling, and the air is not the only thing buzzing.  Wherever you wander, the sweet scent of sensimilla will be the soundtrack to all your terrestrial travels.  While you are certain to encounter others cruising on their own cosmic mission, remember the path you take is your own.  Stoner Pisces you can welcome the company of new cannabis companions, and the possibility of the dankest detours, or you can decide to float along following the stoney orbit you charted toward your own higher destination.  Your Summer endo excursion is a choose-your-own adventure of the highest calling.

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Sagittarius sometimes it’s good to go with the flow – to ride the cosmic channels to wherever they lead you.  August is not one of these times.  It may sound nice to float lazily along the river of life, but you will run the risk of being taken through rougher rapids than you’d like.  Instead, before you embark on any voyage this month, chart your course, and visualize a clear destination.  It may add time to your trip, stoner Sagittarius, but if there is a scenic route, take it!  You may discover the perfect smoke spot, or even happen upon a fellow tokin terrestrial who is more than happy to match bowls.

A successful month at the office is pretty much guaranteed this month stoner Sagittarius.  Good old fashion grit and grind will keep you checking off even the largest projects on your to-do list.  The greatest factor in determining how high you rise in the workplace will come down to the level of trust you have in your peers.  As long as you meet early in the month to map out company goals, and everyone knows their role, you won’t have to burn up time constantly checking every detail.  Instead, you can focus fully on your own tasks, and maintain a forward moving momentum.  Be forewarned:  Keep the grind and the ganja separate stoner Sag.  If you recreate and roast bowls with your coworkers, do so off the clock.  The summer days are long enough for plenty of hazy nights, but you will do your best work if you show up with a clear head.  

Stoner Sagittarius there is one mantra this month within the personal sphere:  Say it out loud!  It’s not just about speaking your mind, but rather expressing clearly your wants and needs.  Open lines of communication will help you to expand the smoke circle, strengthen bonds with cannabis companions, and most importantly, help you avoid bunk bags of bud.  This includes puff puff passing on the negativity of others.  Your August is better spent filled with good people, sticky greens, and exploring the great outdoors.  Use your herbally enhanced third eye vision to avoid being brought down by negative vibes.  As long as you keep your smoke circle close, and your favorite strains well stocked, you will have all the ingredients needed to enjoy a well baked summer.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Scorpio the month of August will be filled with challenges and triumphs.  Gears within the grinder of life may become stuck with sticky communication; but once these gears break free, cosmic support will give a gentle push in the direction of progress.

Little Scorpion be forewarned:  Complexities within communication will cause tension and misunderstanding.  But the sting of conflict will be brief!  Rise above the fray stoner Scorpio.  Chill out with the sacred herb in moments of frustration.  Cloud up the room, and give hazy communication time to clear.  All will return to normal operation within the smoke circle once calm, chill, and medicated heads have time to gain an elevated perspective.

Pay attention to dreams early in the month.  Develop the habit of journaling your dreams.  Smoke about it, and write about it.  Even drawings or brief notes will suffice.  What may not seem cogent or connected at the time, could become instrumental to progress near the end of the month.

Be mindful of workplace sabotage as the New Moon of the 18th approaches. The days preceding the New Moon could be strife with uncooperative, and down-right obstructive, behavior.  Now you know what to look for stoner Scorpio.  Manifest patience and keen third eyesight with meditative smoke sessions with the sacred herb.  From a higher elevation, you will see this behavior more as an anomaly than an entrenched pattern.  Perhaps you will decide to diffuse the situation with kindness and understanding.  Allow the wisdom of the sacred herb to guide your defensive strategy.

The New Moon of the 18th also marks a line of transition for cosmic support.  Before the New Moon it may seem like you are on a defensive footing, but after the lunar event the gears of the universe should loosen.  This will allow a freedom of movement unseen in August.  Use this freedom of movement within the universal influence to celebrate and recreate with cannabis companions and smoke circle acquaintances.  Remember those dreams early in the month stoner Scorpio?  Now is the time they may become more clear in your cosmic timeline.  Do not sacrifice your mental or physical health for the sake of others.  There will be plenty of opportunities to puff puff pass with like minded tokers, with kindness and progress at heart.  End the month with a bowl and a bang stoner Scorpio, it’s your time!

Taurus Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Taurus August sets up to be a blessed month with two distinct periods of progress.  Who says you can’t have it all, and smoke it too?  It could be said you will be living that dab life in the first half of the month, and using that flower power in the second half.

First Half:  The cosmos is sending a gift of companionship in the first half of August stoner Taurus.  Get out, enjoy the company of the canna-crew!  This may seem easy enough, but it will require action.  Mind over body my stoic stoner Bull.  Action over complacency.  You may have doubts about your terrestrial excursions; these doubts are natural.  Toke time to contemplate with the sacred herb.  First forgive yourself for reluctancy.  Then push, pull, and prod yourself into the fray.  Use the sacred herb as a confident catalyst to join the smoke circle.  Once there, you will find strength in the canna-fam.  Live life out loud in the first half of August.  Love, empathy, enjoyment, and companionship are all words to focus on while you chop it up, and smoke it up, with the canna-crew.

Second Half:  Planetary influence supports a solitary existence in the second half of August stoner Taurus.  Puzzles and problems are best solved with sacred meditation and a high-minded perspective.  I cannot give a strain recommendation for this period.  You will need to create your own cannabis strain test.  During this period, focusing on the details of the puzzles and problems will be difficult.  Sativa strains may help with clarity and energy, but they could also create a crashed frizzle-fried mental state.  Indica strains may help slow the pace of the puzzles and problems to help solve them, but it could also numb the senses to key aspects of solutions.  Thus, experimentation for each unique stoner Bull is required to find the right canna-tool for the period.

Use exercise as a break in between your experimentation with the sacred herb.  If a smoke session goes awry, perhaps you can create a hot yoga cleansing within your home.  A brisk walk or run does a great job to clear the air and change the mood.  You might find these meditative exercises put you in a problem solving mindset, and the choice of strain was right all along.

August is a truly blessed month stoner Taurus.  If variety is the spice of life, you certainly will be living right!