Tag Archives: stoner zodiac signs

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope May

Stoner Aquarius, May will be a month of modernization. This will be true in almost all facets of life, from material possessions to spiritual betterment. Spring cleaning is in full swing my stoner Water-Bearer. It’s time to purge your closet to make room for Summer gear, and more modern hippie fashion. Of course tie dye never goes out of style, so be sure to keep the classics. While you may find yourself going through old clothes or refurbishing your stoney sanctuary, you should also look inwards to see if there is anything you would be better off without. Maybe you’ve been holding onto mementos from a past relationship, or reminiscing more than you used to about ‘the good ol’ days.’ Stoner Aquarius, it’s okay to look back fondly on times gone by, but don’t live in the past. Right now is the time to light up, let go, and look forward to the next chapter of your stoney story.

Get ready stoner Aquarius, because work will be a period of great and green growth!  The seeds that you planted early in the year are beginning to sprout; and other projects will be ready to transition out of a vegetative state into full flower. Take time in the first days of the month to prioritize projects, and coordinate a plan of action with your team. Stoner Aquarius, a good gardener will time their crops so they can manage the workload, and so that not everything is ready to harvest all at once. You don’t want to lose momentum or become overwhelmed in the final stretch because you were unprepared for such big yields. So pace yourself stoner Aquarius. You’ve put in the work, and you want to make sure you get the appropriate reward!

Being the sociable creature that you are, you are never in short supply of friends or fellow cannabis connoisseurs to toke with. However, this month you will discover that it is the quality of your connections which matters most, not how many people are in your smoke circle. It is no secret that your charisma attracts all kinds of terrestrial travelers; you can vibe with pretty much anyone. But, what ignites your interest stoner Aquarius? Seek out your fellow stoner star signs who hold similar passions and curiosities. When you share your time, and your stash, with your closest cannabis connections, you will be free to be your creative and quirky self. So let down your guard, roll up a joint, and prepare to explore ever higher highs with your favorite chronic-loving companions.

Aries Stoner Horoscope May

Get ready stoner Aries, you’re about to make things happen!  May will begin with self-reflection and the rebirth of your determination. What will result is a sense of accomplishment felt throughout the month. Be sure to schedule regular meditative smoke sessions with the sacred herb throughout the final Spring month.  Your cannabis prescription will favor the Sativa species of our sacred plant over Indica strains.  But be forewarned:  Self-restraint will be key; overindulgence will only make things more complicated than necessary. 

My stoner Ram, the month of May will propel you into the project you’ve been seeking to finish, the job you’ve been striving to get, and the relationships you’ve been yearning to start. For significant periods you’re going to spend your time contemplating the truths and deeper meanings of all spheres of life. What’s troubling you stoner Aries? It’s high time you toke your way to relieving the struggles within you. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to inspect and cleanse the negative energy from your being. Pick which battles to fight, and release your spirit from the ones that are not going to serve you moving forward.

Stoner Aries, you’re going to crank your body and mind into full gear during the last half of May. This means lots of long days and late nights working to get ahead of that deadline, networking to make new contacts, and seeking new opportunities to get you and your career to the next level. No smoking during business hours my stoner Ram!  And stick to bright Sativa cannabis strains to avoid couch lock. It’s time to impress, make money, and take risks. If you’ve ever wanted to switch careers, RIGHT NOW is the time to do so. Doors are opening, and getting your foot in the industry that you’ve been eyeing is a realistic possibility this month. But take caution with internal conflict.  Manage your negative side stoner Aries. You are building a new life for yourself, and you want to enter this era with ethereal patience and emotional control. 

My fiery and bold stoner Ram, don’t question yourself this month. You are enough. With the right mindset, and a stash jar filled with the sacred herb, May will bring a time of focus for your mind, and perseverance to your spirit. So go forth and change your world!

Virgo Stoner Horoscope May

Stoner Virgo, you are the kind hearted organized ally of the stoner Zodiac.  So much of your terrestrial mission is in service to others, particularly your close cannabis companions within the smoke circle.  The month of May brings with it an uncomfortable selfish breeze from the universe.  But don’t fret my analytical Virgin, the selfish breeze may create unease, but it will assist in much needed internal work that could unlock personal progress.

Now more than ever stoner Virgo, you must forgive yourself.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to see the impact you can have internally.  The quest for perfection, and heightened expectations, lead to disappointment with yourself.  Pack the bowl, inhale the perspective expanding nature of the sacred herb, and exhale harsh internal criticism.  The cannabis strain does not matter.  The personal mental time dedicated to the medicated meditative smoke session is the necessary step to take in May.  Make sure to toke time for solo deep dives with your sacred herbal copilot many times in the final Spring month.

Take time to create stoner Virgo.  Meditative moments with the sacred herb don’t always have to be in a dark quiet space.  Find an activity to keep your hands active while your mind can wonder and heal.  Gardening is a great activity to turn the blank canvas of soil into a living growth of nutrition.  Perhaps there are artistic endeavors or renovation projects to keep your physical body busy while you contemplate life, the universe, and everything.  Feed your head and feed your soul in May my stoner Virgin.

Make sure to tackle the task of personal growth in a safe space stoner Virgo.  After all, this month is all about you.  Once you have fully taken the internal empathetic lessons provided by the sacred herb, you will emerge on the terrestrial plane with a newfound confidence in your stride.  Heal yourself first stoner Virgo, and then you can better help others heal.  By the end of May, the smoke circle will have a refreshed attentive Virgo once again to assist them in all their smokey adventures.