Tag Archives: sign

Virgo Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Virgo the transition to Spring will find a wonderfully positive influence from our grand celestial bodies.  The particular positive push from the universe will combine well with your natural stoner tendencies and traits.  Compounding this positive combination will be the impact felt in both the personal and work spheres.

Alright my practical stoner Virgin, the cosmos will be sending waves of creativity to accentuate your logical hard working spirit this month.  March will be the perfect time to break into the staples of your sacred stash jar.  Granddaddy Purple or Jack Herer cannabis strains will ease internal tensions, and allow your sacred herbal assistant to act as divining rod between the cosmic creative influence of the celestial bodies, and your terrestrial ambitions.  Use your medicated meditative smoke sessions in March as a catalyst to find creative inspiration with positive impact in both the personal and work spheres.

Stoner Virgo your logical nature can mute your emotional communications.  In the first 20 days of March, the creative influence of the cosmos will help find new ways to express yourself to your cannabis companions and close partners in chronic.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to bring deep internal feelings to the surface, and share them with the canna-fam.  With personal growth come personal rewards!

This cosmic creative push will bring a new tool to your work arsenal stoner Virgo.  Toke time for solo smoke sessions away from the work setting to contemplate problems and obstacles.  These medicated meditative smoke sessions will uncover out-of-the-box pathways that could unlock doors to future progress within the economic machinery.

Stoner Virgo March 20th marks the Spring Equinox, and the beginning of a new astrological year.  This transition may bring about contemplation of spiritual and philosophical aspects of our terrestrial world.  This introspection will be a wonderful finish to the creative push of March.  Once again your sacred herbal assistant will help you dive deep into yourself; not to answer philosophical dilemmas, but to ask the right questions.  After this thought provoking productive month, you will transition into the new astrological year with a new way to see the future.  Here’s to puff puff passing productive progress.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Taurus the Spring season starts out with great expectations!  March will find you feeling even more charismatic than usual.  The universe will send waves of positivity within the sphere of the canna-fam, and your future plans. No need to stampede to any decisions though my rambunctious stoner Bull; just roll one up, breath deep, and let things be. Now is the time for planning rather than rushing.  

Stoner Taurus positive vibes abound this month! March will bring with it a sort of ease regarding your relationship with close cannabis companions. With very little effort, you should be able to ride a charming wave of kindness, and generosity. Lean into this feeling by loading the stash jar with plenty to share, and invite your smoke circle to inhale the perspective expanding blessings of the sacred herb. Ride the positive waves of the cosmos, and a perfectly packed bowl, to contemplate what it is you are truly passionate about; especially when it comes to your closest cannabis companions, and your dreams for the future. 

But, be forewarned my stoner Bull: March calls for you to put down the pipe while grinding in the work sphere. Medicated smoke sessions should be limited to after work hours only, as you may find yourself more spacey than usual. A nice balanced hybrid will bring you clarity without exacerbating the flighty feeling you may be fighting through the month of March. Communicate honestly with your corporate canna-crew, but remember not everyone shares your ideals stoner Taurus. We are all just like the sacred herb, no two strains are exactly alike, and why would we want them to be? Encourage individuality and innovation not only among your teammates, but within yourself too. That means you must approach your fellow corporate warriors with tact, and keep your horns protected. 

Remember stoner Taurus, the garden doesn’t produce fruit overnight.  We must plan and cultivate before we can harvest the rewards of our hard earned work. Simply go with the flow, and enjoy the burst of cosmically enhanced charisma emanating from within.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Scorpio the month of March sets up as a tale of two halves, split by the Spring Equinox on the 20th.  Celestial bodies will impart great influence on the stoner Scorpions of the world, but in dramatically different ways at different times.  Sit back, relax, and take tokes of the marijuana smoke; with help from your sacred herbal assistant, navigating these distinct periods will be as smooth as an ice chilled bong rip.

Get ready stoner Scorpio, the first two decades of March will be filled with a creative burst from the cosmos.  This surge of creative energy will be best served within personal spaces.  Find fun creative projects that enhance your living space.  The cannabis prescription for this phase before the 20th is a bit tricky.  Pure Sativa cannabis strains should be avoided.  Leaning into this creative cosmic vibe might turn the energetic cosmic influence into scatterbrained frustration.  However, a pure Indica strain of the sacred herb should also be avoided.  You certainly don’t want to waste this positive push by getting lost in a couch lock haze.  Therefore, find a true hybrid 50-50 strain to get the best of both worlds, and avoid the heavy influence of both worlds at the same time.

Stoner Scorpio, there is a bit more to the first two decades of the month.  The New Moon of the 13th marks an opportunity for new projects or fulfillment.  Toke time for planning and organizing before the New Moon, and then executing your grand design after the New Moon.

After the Spring Equinox of the 20th, the universal influence will remain energetic, but there will be a switch in focus from the personal sphere to the work sphere.  Be prepared to tackle all of your terrestrial missions.  This may seem daunting after a couple weeks of creative personal output, but you will have the energy from the universe in this exciting busy season to accomplish any task on your list.  I have two specific recommendations to keep you charging ahead.  First, maintain the integrity of your cosmic spacesuit with a healthy diet and exercise.  You will become an athlete tackling the to-do list within the economic machinery of our terrestrial world; you must take care of your physical body to maintain your performance.  Second the sacred herb should be utilized after the hard charge of the day is done to relax, and feel the blessings of the universe.  Make sure the stash jar is loaded with your favorite Indica strain for these moments.  Light one up, breathe in the natural relaxing influence of our sacred plant, and recharge your batteries for the next day’s battle.

You can have it all this month stoner Scorpio.  I’ll light a celebratory bowl to that!

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Sagittarius the late great Bob Marley told us, “When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.” So my stoner Archer, spark one up and settle in, this month will start out with an introspective influence. As the month marches on, the cosmos will open the doors for fun within the personal sphere. 

The month begins with a focus on home, both physical and emotional. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to connect with your inner self.  Communicate with your sensitive and compassionate internal drivers through medicated meditative smoke sessions.  This will help you think and feel deeply about matters that mean most to your cosmic existence. Lean into this sacred exercise to get your home and personal sphere to a place where you feel comfortable. 

Stoner Sag, now is the time to get plans laid in relation to your daily work routines. You will feel persistent energy, and a dose of determination throughout March. Load the stash jar with bright Sativas my stoner Archer, and aim your arrow towards future plans. Enjoy this energy, and focus on getting things sorted out, and set in place. Toke time with the sacred herb; release a burst of imagination.  With the sacred herbal assistant, look at things in a new light and make plans. It’s the perfect time to make that business deal, or cement that new partnership you’ve been considering. Get creative, find the joy in your everyday life, and let your positivity flow.

Stoner Sagittarius March will likely find you with a lot of energy to communicate and engage with matters relating to the broader smoke circle, cannabis companions, and even frenemies.  Use your spiritedness to communicate persuasively and with charisma. All things are possible when you are sharing the magic of the sacred herb with fellow terrestrial astronauts.

March will be quite progressive stoner Sag.  With the right Cannabis prescription at the right moments, and the right internal contemplation mixed with a stony influence, everything should fall in place.  It’s all within you stoner Sag.

Libra Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Libra March is all about your personal sphere. This month calls for a stash jar full of light hybrids that allow for deep, but focused introspective musings. Approach matters related to work and health with delicacy, and trust your intuition. No need for big changes this month stoner Libra.  Just like the sacred herb, a little planning goes a long way.  

My stoner Libra, March will offer you a burst of passion regarding your personal sphere. Load your stash jar with a lively hybrid cannabis strain, and persuade your closest partners in chronic to discuss profound subjects like life, spirituality, and our place in the cosmos. The canna-fam will revel in your creative spirit, and you’ll feel better having shared your originality with the smoke circle. Let your eccentric ideas flow like blowing out the perfect hit, slow and easy. Though don’t forget stoner Libra, to toke time for solo meditative smoke sessions with the sacred herb.  Harness the positive waves of courage and energy being sent through the universe to clear any mental cobwebs left over from the cold winter months.   

Stoner Libra, the first month of Spring brings you an extra punch of imagination and creativity in the work sphere. Take this opportunity to approach things from a fresh perspective, and with renewed relish. This month will breathe new life into your previous efforts regarding work relationships. Communicate openly, but keep your stash jar closed until you get home and shed your corporate armor. This month requires a clear head while navigating the economic machinery of our terrestrial world.  

Spring will start with the focus on yourself and your canna-fam. Avoid heavy indica strains this month, and instead load your favorite piece with a bright hybrid to solidify the flood of new ideas coming your way, without the fear of couch lock. Stoner Libra the warmth of the impending Spring season will only add to the good vibes emanating from you. 

Pisces Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Pisces March marks the official start of spring:  The season of rebirth, regrowth, and new beginnings. For some it is a welcomed time; one where they can reimagine themselves, shed old tendencies, and plant seeds for more healthy habits. But, not everyone will be as prepared as others for this time of transition and transformation. This month you should expect some of your closest cannabis companions who experience trouble to turn to you for calm and comfort. Don’t worry stoner Pisces, you aren’t expected to fix everything for everyone. While some people will seek advice and reassurance, others will benefit just by being in your presence. Even the simple act of sharing a bowl of the sacred herb, together in silence, can help to lift their spirits. 

Stoner Pisces, even though you are sharing your energy and optimism with those around you, you will be in no short supply of motivation and momentum to tackle your own to-do list. The cosmos has no surprises or chaos in store for you during this time, only sunshine and clear skies. Now is the time to plan more ambitious projects for the coming months. With the days growing longer, you will have more time to grind, and work on long term goals. Just be mindful of your work-life balance. Remember that you can do both my stoney Fish, smoke tough and still get stuff done. There’s nothing more satisfying than reaching the next milestone in the long journey toward greater success. Nothing of course, other than celebrating said achievements with your favorite herb and the canna crew.  Toke time to share celebratory bowls, reflecting on a job well done, and preparing for the next phase once the smoke clears. 

Stoner Pisces, maybe it’s because you are in your own zodiac season in March, but you can expect smooth swimming throughout the month. As long as you don’t make waves for yourself, you will be able to float along the cosmic river of life in peace, and with few obstacles. While you will be up for the task of being the sharing and caring one amongst your smoke circle, it will be important you don’t overlook your own self-care.  Even if it’s one night a week you set aside for solo smoke sessions – just you, your favorite pipe, and your top-shelf stash – make it happen. These meditative moments of peace and calm by yourself will keep your own spirit high, and ready to lift up others even higher. 

Leo Stoner Horoscope March

Be prepared for an interesting start to the Spring season stoner Leo.  The month of March will bring with it a sense of tranquility amongst your cannabis companions. The cold winter months are nearly over, and with the warmer weather comes even warmer relationships. Though be forewarned, stoner Lion, the entrance to Spring will begin with your mind on heavier topics such as debts, and material possessions. Fear not stoner Leo, with a perfectly packed bowl and stress relieving tokes, all will be well. 

The end of the winter season brings peace and harmony within your smoke circle my stoner Lion. The cosmos is blessing you with even more charisma and charm than usual. Your persuasive nature will be highlighted throughout March, and you’ll find yourself particularly diplomatic this month. Stoner Leo, use this energy, and a well stocked stash jar to communicate your more eccentric ideas to your closest cannabis companions. Gather your partners in chronic together for an endo-excursion. Go on a hike or plan a picnic. Just get outside and combust the sacred herb with your ganja gang. Share your favorite smoke spots, and puff puff pass the good vibes.  With positive cosmic waves, and a proactive approach to smoke circle expansion, this month will see your pride grow to an even higher level.

Stoner Leo March will likely have you focused on monetary matters. Now is the time to use your powers of intuition, and a few meditative solo smoke sessions, to address any issues related to debt, and material possessions. Perhaps your gut is telling you to focus on something in particular, go with it!  Sit down with your corporate canna-crew and bounce ideas off one another. Your success on this terrestrial plane is only limited by your own efforts and imagination.

So stoner Lion, grab your traveling piece, a fresh jar of your favorite cannabis strain, and a few of your closest partners in chronic, and get to wandering. Alone, you are determined and adventurous, but aligned with your best buds, you and your canna-crew prove to be an unstoppable force!

Gemini Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Gemini you can expect March to be a double header: Grinding hard in the early days then slowing your roll to focus on peace and relaxation. It is recommended during the ‘work hard’ phase that you put down the pipe, or at least keep it at home. No one is saying that you have to give up the ganja completely stoner Gemini. But, the best advice to offer is this: Know when to hold’em, and know when to smoke ‘em. Keeping cannabis consumption and work separate will ensure you make notable growth in both your career and personal realms. 

At work, a clear head will not only increase efficiency, it will help you to avoid confusion when communicating with your coworkers. Attention to detail will be especially crucial to maintaining forward and upward momentum. This keen observation also means keeping an eye on how your peers are feeling. It’s not babysitting stoner Gemini, but during this period you will be called upon to lead the team through the more complicated projects; and at times, to simply be an encouraging voice. Your charm and creative brain will help reassure those you work with that together, you can, and will, get the job done. But, don’t worry stoner Gemini! Smoke-free only applies to the nine-to-five grind, or on-the-clock hours. Free time and weekends are, and always will be, four-twenty friendly. 

Stoner Gemini, by the middle of the month, it will be time to pivot to the play hard and puff hard portion of March. Instead of focusing your efforts outward to creating a better cosmos, turn your third eye sight inward, and invest your contemplative energy in yourself. This doesn’t mean something is wrong, or you need to start reading self-help books, stoner Gemini. Rather think of this time as a season for self-discovery. Whether you are tokin’ solo, or a part of a hazy smoke circle, light up and dive deep. My stoner Twin, you may already know your passions; what makes you curious, and what inspires you. But, what are you doing to pursue, or manifest, those dreams? It only takes one step to begin your journey.  Just one spark to fire up a sweet smoky bowl. So, light one up stoner Gemini, and blaze ahead to where you really want to be.

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Capricorn, spring is finally here!  After a long winter spent tokin’ tough from the cozy comfort of your couch, the prospect of traveling somewhere further than the kitchen to cure your most recent case of the munchies seems exhilarating. The days are getting longer, the weather is heating up, but growing also is a serious case of wanderlust. Don’t feel bad stoner Capricorn, not everyone will be down to brave the crisp days of March, but some of your more adventurous cannabis companions will be ready to join you for all of your endo-excursions. Whether you head to your favorite smoke spots, or set out to discover the most undisturbed vistas, when you are with your best buds with plenty of good greens, the journey will be just as serene and smokey as reaching the final destination.

Stoner Capricorn, your persistence in the workplace will result in big payoffs this month. Of course nothing is guaranteed, but you are definitely on an upward trajectory, and the sky’s the limit. Your enthusiasm and optimism will be contagious amongst your peers. But, with everyone’s energy levels elevated, it will be important to work to maintain clear and open lines of communication. Excitement can turn into tension if somebody’s intentions are misunderstood.  Even the most competent team can swing from a successful streak to suffering setbacks if everyone isn’t on the same page. Stoner Capricorn, if you are allowed to work in a 420 friendly environment, you and your coworkers should set aside time to take tokes and share notes. These cannabis infused work sessions can be a catalyst for inspiration, and a higher level of creative thought.

My smoky Sea-Goat, March will remind you that home really is where the heart is. Whether you’re racking up miles on one of your many stoney adventures, or just hanging out hotboxing the living room with the canna fam, you will spread smiles to all those you encounter. While the 20th marks the official start of the new season, you don’t have to wait until then to begin your Spring cleaning. It can be something as small as a new tapestry, or a complete overhaul of your wardrobe, but you should curate your surroundings to reflect your inner workings. And for this month stoner Capricorn, you are strictly good vibes only!

Aries Stoner Horoscope March

Happy early birthday stoner Aries! The universe will rain blessings of positivity in the first Spring month.  With a mindful third eye toward your sacred strain selections, an internal conversation with your inner voice, and a canna-collaborative attitude at work, progress and success are assured.

Stoner Aries March is offering you the perfect opportunity to delve deep into your sense of self, and your place, on our terrestrial plane. Load the stash jar with a balanced hybrid, toke some time with your feelings, and explore those things you’ve kept hidden from yourself. But be forewarned stoner Aries: Try not to let the smoke cloud your progress. Now is not the time to be self-defeating while in your introspective space. The cosmos is blessing you with some much needed confidence and courage to change things. Harness this energy my stoner Ram.  

In the work sphere this month, channel your bravery, self-starting attitude, action-oriented perspective, and natural ability to lead. Stoner Aries, March is calling for you to put the contemplative efforts of the last few months into action. If possible, sit down with your corporate canna crew this month and puff puff pass inspiration. It’s time to get things done, so make sure to choose a light and bright Sativa dominant species this month within work focused smoke sessions. You’ll want to avoid couchlock at all costs, and instead use the sacred herb as a catalyst to put thoughts into action regarding your place within the economic machine. You have the power to create the perfect space within the daily grind; so get to it!   

March will offer two different perspectives, stoner Ram. Personal moments of meditative smoke sessions will require a balanced hybrid to break up the busyness of the work sphere, while a Sativa dominant strain of the sacred herb within the economic machine will help you harness the innovative and original energy the cosmos is offering. Make sure smoke sessions are centered around open and honest communication with the canna-fam, as well as yourself. Stoner Aries, this unreserved sincerity will illuminate the path to peace and tranquility throughout March. 

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Aquarius those who know you may call you many things: Independent, cleverly quirky, determined, and assertive. One word that will never be used to describe is conformist. No, you dance to the beat of your own unique drum. You blaze the smoky trails others are too unimaginative or too timid to traverse. Be sure to plan out the itinerary for your March travels early in the month. Although you are a spontaneous, and a free-spirited wild child, your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts may not always be so adventurous. As long as your partners in chronic know where they’re strolling, and know what you’re smoking, they will be down to brave the trip with you. 

My stoner Water-Bearer, you don’t have to wait for the new season to make meaningful moves. If you’ve been contemplating a career change, or applying for a position higher up in your current company, go for it! You have the intellect, charm, and ability to make it to the next level; and help to raise up the rest of the team too. Even if you are feeling good with where you are in your career stoner Aquarius, there’s nothing wrong with a side hustle to help you earn a little more green. Whether your motivation is more money, or simply the satisfaction of creating something, you have the potential this month to turn your passion projects into profit. Toke time with the sacred herb to contemplate your place in the grand scheme of our economic machine.  While your creative energy might be at an all time high, and you have an abundance of ideas you could pursue, pick your top two or three ideas, and focus on those. If you don’t narrow your focus, and actually start creating, you may reach the end of the month with nothing to show but daydreams and big ideas.  

Stoner Aquarius you will feel your energy and optimism swell until they finally overflow on the Spring equinox. The last ten days of March you might find yourself overwhelmed, but in a good way. With so many ideas for creative endeavors, and seemingly infinite desire to manifest them, don’t forget to make time to just unwind. Lighting up a fresh bowl with your closest cannabis companions can help to calm the mind, and restore the spirit. And those hazy conversations in smoke filled rooms at night may just spark clear inspiration for your next grand undertaking ahead.