Tag Archives: #Scorpio

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope April

Stoner Scorpio it’s time to take a break, or at least step away from your recent obsession.  Celestial bodies have aligned in April to provide a much needed escape hatch from your passionate grind.  The second Spring month will be a time to cherish the accomplishments of your physical endeavors while refocusing on internal growth.

Physical projects give way in April to mental healing.  You have been a busy Scorpion the last few months primming and primping everything around you. But the cosmic influence of April supports taking a break from the go-go lifestyle you have created.  I hear you stoner Scorpio, “What if there is still so much to do?”  We are all the masters of our own decisions, but if you burn that one extra bowl, you might get overcooked. Seek balance my productive Scorpio.  There is no premonition of a stagnant period, but at some point you have to turn the volume of the physical world down so you can hear your inner voice speak.  Turn your power to manifest in the physical realm into a focus on self care.  How many impending deadlines do you create from your own internal pressure?  Find Sublime more in life in April, “I smoke two joints in the morning, I smoke two joints at night.  I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright.”  Balance stoner Scorpio.  You can still operate with efficiency in the terrestrial world, but now is the time to pencil in that smoke filled siesta into your calendar.

Don’t forget to get out stoner Scorpio!  So much work on your physical space recently, toke time to enjoy the majesty of our terrestrial world.  If a partner-in-chronic calls you out, join them!  Time away from your personal space with nature, some good green, and your best buds, might be the expedition that recharges the mental batteries, and opens your third eye to new perspectives.  

All of these prescribed breaks from the physical space you’ve focused on so much recently sets up an important end to April.  The Full Moon of the 26th may cause stress and insecurity within your canna-fam.  But you, stoner Scorpio, with your intuitive nature, and freshly recharged cosmic spacesuit, will be able to assist your cannabis companions through a potentially chaotic time.  Perhaps all that personal time in April fortifying your cosmic life boat will lift you, and your canna-fam, to safety as you steer toward progress in the next period.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Scorpio the month of March sets up as a tale of two halves, split by the Spring Equinox on the 20th.  Celestial bodies will impart great influence on the stoner Scorpions of the world, but in dramatically different ways at different times.  Sit back, relax, and take tokes of the marijuana smoke; with help from your sacred herbal assistant, navigating these distinct periods will be as smooth as an ice chilled bong rip.

Get ready stoner Scorpio, the first two decades of March will be filled with a creative burst from the cosmos.  This surge of creative energy will be best served within personal spaces.  Find fun creative projects that enhance your living space.  The cannabis prescription for this phase before the 20th is a bit tricky.  Pure Sativa cannabis strains should be avoided.  Leaning into this creative cosmic vibe might turn the energetic cosmic influence into scatterbrained frustration.  However, a pure Indica strain of the sacred herb should also be avoided.  You certainly don’t want to waste this positive push by getting lost in a couch lock haze.  Therefore, find a true hybrid 50-50 strain to get the best of both worlds, and avoid the heavy influence of both worlds at the same time.

Stoner Scorpio, there is a bit more to the first two decades of the month.  The New Moon of the 13th marks an opportunity for new projects or fulfillment.  Toke time for planning and organizing before the New Moon, and then executing your grand design after the New Moon.

After the Spring Equinox of the 20th, the universal influence will remain energetic, but there will be a switch in focus from the personal sphere to the work sphere.  Be prepared to tackle all of your terrestrial missions.  This may seem daunting after a couple weeks of creative personal output, but you will have the energy from the universe in this exciting busy season to accomplish any task on your list.  I have two specific recommendations to keep you charging ahead.  First, maintain the integrity of your cosmic spacesuit with a healthy diet and exercise.  You will become an athlete tackling the to-do list within the economic machinery of our terrestrial world; you must take care of your physical body to maintain your performance.  Second the sacred herb should be utilized after the hard charge of the day is done to relax, and feel the blessings of the universe.  Make sure the stash jar is loaded with your favorite Indica strain for these moments.  Light one up, breathe in the natural relaxing influence of our sacred plant, and recharge your batteries for the next day’s battle.

You can have it all this month stoner Scorpio.  I’ll light a celebratory bowl to that!

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope February

Stoner Scorpio the final Winter month brings an early warm breeze of creativity to the personal sphere.  Fill your sacred stash jar with a variety of cannabis strains.  This cosmic breeze of creativity will impact the stoner Scorpio both outwardly and internally.  Both internal analysis and external vision will be amplified by smoke sessions with the sacred herb.

Refresh and revamp stoner Scorpio!  Seek out creative endeavors within your physical personal space.  Is it time to try something new?  Perhaps a project that has been lingering in the back of your head?  The final Winter month is the perfect time to improve your personal space.  Perhaps this will be a kick start into the coming Spring season.  Use the creative enhancement of the sacred herb to guide your action at home.  Target the New Moon of the 11th.  Plan out a staycation with your favorite cannabis strain, and your tools of creative manifestation.  You might find that during all this outward activity within your physical space, great work might unfold internally.  Sink deep into this creative smoke session.  Whereas the focus might be on your physical space, it could be internal house cleaning that benefits you the most.

Last month I wrote about the powerful sting of the stoner Scorpion.  The danger continues into the February time period.  You don’t want to injure your cannabis companions or close members of the canna-fam.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to chill out and gain perspective before striking out with your powerful sting in moments of anger or frustration.  By the Full Moon of the 27th, internal emotions will change.  A new period will bring new organization and attitudes toward the inner smoke circle.  Find your chill with the sacred herb until the Full Moon stoner Scorpio; your cannabis companions will thank you.

These internal efforts to cleanse, modify, or improve your internal space can be daunting and exhausting.  Toke time to reward yourself for these efforts.  Mid month, cut time out in the schedule for a solo smoke session just for you.  Find joy in a personal activity.  Let out the frustrations of life as a terrestrial astronaut with personal motion.  Dance, paint, build, write, or simply read a good book.  Take the time for self to push out energy and emotion into something you enjoy.

Self improvement all starts from personal action.  Go!

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope January

Stoner Scorpio the beginning to 2021 will be a blessing from the universe.  With the right blend of medication and meditation, your inner self will find contentment while you make plans for great progress on the terrestrial plane.

It’s time to focus on the inner smoke circle stoner Scorpio.  Cannabis companions and the canna-fam will need your attention and spirit.  But keep in mind this is a selfless task.  Don’t stop and wait for acknowledgement or praise.  The time spent burning bowls and passing joints with those you care about will be all the reward generated by the universe.  

Grand adventures on the terrestrial plane will wait for other periods as this month will be more about life as a domestic astronaut.  As you focus on family, also take on special missions directed at your inner self and domicile.  A secluded life as a home-body is in the cosmic cards for January.  Use the inspirational aspects of the sacred herb to address changes or alterations you wish to make at home and with yourself.  In many ways, January can be looked at as a great month to make improvements in relationships and home-life; and aren’t those the things that matter most?

I have a specific warning for you stoner Scorpio:  The sharp sting of your poisonous tail could be a danger between the 8th and the 12th.  The waning crescent moon on the 8th marks a period where emotions and tempers could fall out of control.  Dig into your stash of Indica strains during this period.  Perhaps make plans for those deep solo medicated planning sessions during this time.  Above all, recognize that you possess a dangerous weapon in your sharp stinger.  You don’t want to hurt close cannabis companions with unintended strikes.  Use the calming nature of the sacred herb to chill out in heated moments.  You can always reflect back, and assess what really matters on the New Moon of the 12th.

Positive meditations in January will possess positive manifestations in future time periods.  Where do you want to be in the future?  Toke time to storyboard this grand desire.  Puff puff plan with the sacred herb.  This medicated exercise will have a powerful effect, setting in motion the magic of manifestation.  I know stoner Scorpio, you are too clever for the magic mojo.  So I will say it plainly:  

Step 1.  Toke time to meditate on where you want to go.  

Step 2.  Toke time to develop a plan of action.

Step 3.  The process begins one toke at a time!

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope December

Hold on tight stoner Scorpio, and be prepared for a blockbuster month of December.

Planets have aligned in the the first half of the month to favor aspects of money and vanity.  This cannabis inspired vision surrounding these favorable cosmic winds of influence speaks to more of spending and health, versus financial gain or selfish endeavors.  But to be clear, we are all individuals rolling and toking our way through this terrestrial existence, so even my visions are open to interpretation by spicy Scorpions.  

Chill and relax in the first half of the month up until the New Moon of the 14th.  Find a sweet cannabis strain that inspires relaxation and contentment.  Now is the time to spend a little on your personal happiness and well being.  For some this might be as simple as a hair cut or spa day.  For others maybe more extravagant like a trip or weekend get-a-way.  No matter your tact, be sure to use the sacred herb as a tool to enhance your greater well being, and content mental state.  In the end, after this blessed 14 day period, you might find you have gotten more done in the terrestrial world than expected because of your bright and energized mood.

Stoner Scorpio after the New Moon, a different phase will take over for the remainder of the month.  This new phase will not be better or worse than the first 14 days, just different.  The holiday season can bring smoke circle acquaintances and distant family members into our sphere of influence.  With your mood and spirit balanced, you will be well positioned to take on a leadership role within this phase.  Seek out the Girl Scout Cookies cannabis strain to lean into this bright and positive emotional period.  Use the sacred herb as an enhancement to positive vibes and moods.  It’s possible your bright mood and positive outlook will be all the leadership required to make this holiday season one to remember for the entire cann-fam.

Dragon Shooter Steamroller

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope November

Stoner Scorpio I know you have grown tired of the roller coaster of life with it’s anticipatory climbs, and terrifying falls.  Always remember the mantra when you’ve dove too deep with that sacred edible:  It’s going to be ok.  It’s going to be ok.

Communication will be encouraged, enhanced, and energetic in November.  Cosmic winds of influence will accentuate a sharp intelligent tongue stoner Scorpio.  And as with all blessings from universal influence, you must find balance within the potential for extremes.  Make sure to toke time to chill out with the sacred herb my fierce Scorpion.  See through the eyes of your cannabis companions.  You might finally be able to annunciate all those words you have held back or failed to speak in the past, but it could come as a great shock to others.  So speak!  Get it out!  But temper your newfound enthusiasm, and wit with words, with smooth care and temperament.  If you can find with the right tact, your canna-crew will love the new outward exuberance.  And as a result your words will manifest tangible action and blessings.

I know you have had tough times in the past few months stoner Scorpio.  Inhale the calming nature of the sacred herb, and let go of the past.  Forgive yourself, and forgive others.  This is a new period, and you might feel like a new you.  Particularly between the 8th and the 14th, you might notice a positive transition to a new attitude.  Toke time within this date range to settle yourself with the sacred herb.  Find a quiet place to medicate and meditate with a solo smoke session.  Focus on the positive power of forgiveness.  This exercise with cannabis, will accelerate the transition from stormy mental weather into a positive mental attitude.  You are very powerful during this period stoner Scorpio:  Manifest positivity.

After the New Moon of the 14th, the terrestrial plane will appear sharper and brighter.  Make sure your stash jar is filled with an energetic Sativa strain.  Lean into this new positive outlook and vision with your sacred herbal assistant.  But terrestrial worldly manifestation isn’t the only aspect supported by universal influence during the last half of November.  Toke time to look within as well.  Now is the time to assess personal habits.  Now is the time to take action within your own sphere of influence to build healthy habits of love for self.  You will be like a wizard waving your wand, but don’t forget to cast that positive spell within!

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope October

Stoner Scorpio the month of October will bring heightened connectivity with the canna-crew.  So much of the previous period was spent puzzled, bewildered, and absolutely confused, but rest easy my persistent Scorpion.  This month will be like emerging from a stoned cloud of confusion.  With the right herbal application, you will be hard wired into the collective consciousness of the stoner realm floating toward progress.

Stoner Scorpio I do not have a strain recommendation this month, but more of a regiment of cannabis consumption.  Enlightened cosmic winds will blow through your house in October.  You will feel more in-tune with cannabis cohorts and terrestrial astronauts naturally from this blessed influence.  Thus, deep meditative dives with the sacred herb do not need to be forced.  Instead of smoke sessions with a higher amplitude, seek more numerous subtle contemplations with cannabis.  Use the sacred herb during this period as an enhancement instead of a catalyst.  Consistent light tokes of the marijuana smoke instead of camped out smoke sessions.

This subtle increase in terrestrial tuning will impact the work sphere as well.  Yes stoner Scorpio, advancement and progress in the workplace is more than possible in October; it is likely.  Be forewarned my snippy Scorpion:  Do not get tongue tied at work.  Your ability to communicate and annunciate your perspective will be paramount to your advancement.  As the month passes, your confidence in this newfound terrestrial awareness will assist you in all endeavors.

Stoner Scorpio the sphere of romance will be tantalizing and titillating in the second Fall month.  Seek opportunities to work and play with cannabis companions, and partners in chronic.  Passionate hobby projects, and creative collaborations could lead to exciting heartfelt moments.  Just remember stoner Scorpio:  Keep the cannabis consumption light, but plentiful.  Enhancement, not over-indulgence is the prescription for success in October in all spheres of your cannabis lifestyle.

Dragon Shooter Steamroller

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope September

Stoner Scorpio the first Fall month comes with a variety of cosmic influences.  Your journey is yours to walk alone, but with the right cannabis prescription, perhaps you will have a keen green spirit to guide your path.

September starts off with hazy smoke clouds that obscure decision making.  The Full Moon on the 1st may cause your internal wires to get a bit crossed.  Toke time for a toke break to release yourself from anxieties surrounding projects and impending decisions.  The smoke break will give you time to gain clarity within the frustration.  And perhaps the sacred herb will send you the key analytics to make your decision easier.

This might be a sluggish way to start the month, but cosmic clouds clear only a few days after the Full Moon.  Like a rubber band snapping back, you will emerge from the haze with intense clarity.  But be forewarned stoner Scorpio:  This newfound kick butt and take names attitude may seem empowering in the moment, but it will cause long lasting repercussions within the smoke circle.  I suggest tamping down the enthusiasm with a relaxing cannabis strain.  The Pink Champagne sacred strain should do nicely.  Empowered decision making won’t be deterred, but it may come with softer edges for the sake of your cannabis companions.

In the sphere of romance, there is a particular date that should be noted on the calendar.  The New Moon of the 17th marks a dangerous and exciting time in the month regarding interpersonal relationships within the smoke circle.  First, my fierce Scorpion, smoke a bowl and chill in the days leading up to the New Moon.  The universe might be sending some aggressive vibes your way.  Puff puff pass on being the negative instigator with your canna-crew.  Next, after the New Moon, the opportunity for romance is sure to bloom like that big fat cola topping the sacred plant of life.  Keep this in mind for romantic endeavors after the New Moon:  Heartfelt efforts may not see immediate results.  Like some varieties of the sacred herb, your efforts may have a creeper affect.

Dragon Shooter Steamroller

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Scorpio the month of August will be filled with challenges and triumphs.  Gears within the grinder of life may become stuck with sticky communication; but once these gears break free, cosmic support will give a gentle push in the direction of progress.

Little Scorpion be forewarned:  Complexities within communication will cause tension and misunderstanding.  But the sting of conflict will be brief!  Rise above the fray stoner Scorpio.  Chill out with the sacred herb in moments of frustration.  Cloud up the room, and give hazy communication time to clear.  All will return to normal operation within the smoke circle once calm, chill, and medicated heads have time to gain an elevated perspective.

Pay attention to dreams early in the month.  Develop the habit of journaling your dreams.  Smoke about it, and write about it.  Even drawings or brief notes will suffice.  What may not seem cogent or connected at the time, could become instrumental to progress near the end of the month.

Be mindful of workplace sabotage as the New Moon of the 18th approaches. The days preceding the New Moon could be strife with uncooperative, and down-right obstructive, behavior.  Now you know what to look for stoner Scorpio.  Manifest patience and keen third eyesight with meditative smoke sessions with the sacred herb.  From a higher elevation, you will see this behavior more as an anomaly than an entrenched pattern.  Perhaps you will decide to diffuse the situation with kindness and understanding.  Allow the wisdom of the sacred herb to guide your defensive strategy.

The New Moon of the 18th also marks a line of transition for cosmic support.  Before the New Moon it may seem like you are on a defensive footing, but after the lunar event the gears of the universe should loosen.  This will allow a freedom of movement unseen in August.  Use this freedom of movement within the universal influence to celebrate and recreate with cannabis companions and smoke circle acquaintances.  Remember those dreams early in the month stoner Scorpio?  Now is the time they may become more clear in your cosmic timeline.  Do not sacrifice your mental or physical health for the sake of others.  There will be plenty of opportunities to puff puff pass with like minded tokers, with kindness and progress at heart.  End the month with a bowl and a bang stoner Scorpio, it’s your time!

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope July

Stoner Scorpio July sets up to be a calm drift, floating in the river of life on our cosmic spaceship, flying through the universe.  Can there be a better month than July to puff on, and float on?

Whether you are a single Scorpion, or a partnered Eagle, July promises to bring flirtatious fun to the personal sphere.  Remember stoner Scorpio, you are on a great lazy float in the cosmic river.  All sacred strains of cannabis are open on this stream.  But be sure to share bowls with your canna-crew.  Don’t waste your energy, or your high, chasing anyone in particular.  The river of influence will take you to your destination without worry.  Relax, take it all in, and go with what feels right.  The stoner fam will be there for you no matter what you are holding, and no matter where you are going.

Ok stoner Scorpio, all this fun flirting floating along the river of life is great right?  But, you have to make the scratch to pay for that pipe, and the sacred green kush that goes in it.  Yes, there will be work in July.  If you become too frizzle-fried from a day in the sun, or too frosty from burning tree late at night, important business tasks may slip.   Be sure to set up weigh stations, and reminders, along the river banks to help you keep the economic machine grinding along.  You can do it all my fearless Scorpion!  Perhaps an investment in sticky notes will help you maintain some modicum of terrestrial responsibility as you float the lazy cosmic river.

Maybe this funny note will help you remember your responsibilities:  July 14th is National Nude Day.  On the 15th there will be a cosmic wind pulling your terrestrial tube toward a reprimand.  So, make a note!  Get your shit together by the 14th of July, or you might be caught naked, and exposed.  As long as you get through this test mid month, you will be matching bowls with cannabis companions the remainder of the period without a schedule, or care in the world.  

Float on!  I’m totally jealous, my fierce Scorpion!