Tag Archives: psychic reading

Aries Stoner Horoscope April

Stoner Aries April looks to be a tale of two strains, marked by the New Moon on the 11th.  It is months like this we are reminded of the bipolar nature of the two most popular cannabis species.  Most importantly, how we can use them to curate our own sacred terrestrial experience.

The start of April finds your usually vibrant and excitable nature much more subdued and turned inward. This may be difficult for you my stoner Ram, but this time of self-reflection will help you get in touch with your intuition. Load the stash jar with a heavy hitting Indica, toke some time for yourself, and allow your mind to wander. With a bit of thoughtful meditation, and the help of some sweet Sinsemilla, you will likely encounter a few eureka moments during the first two weeks of the month.  All this introspective thought will be useful for when things start moving faster in the second half of April. 

In contrast Stoner Aries, the pace of life will increase after the New Moon on the 11th.  This period beckons for extroversion, and time with your smoke circle companions.  So pack the travel piece with a bright sacred Sativa strain, grab the canna-crew, and head out for an endo-excursion.  A perfectly packed bowl or rolled joint of an energetic Sativa strain will give you and the ganja gang an extra boost of inspiration. Now is the time to do the things you’ve been planning during the early introspective stage of the month. Just remember, moderation is key this month my stoner Ram. It will be very tempting to go wild, but if you set your priorities straight, you’re sure to reap the rewards. There will be nothing that can stop you during this moon cycle as long as you’re putting in the work. There will be time and energy to do it all.  Stoner Aries make it a point to puff puff pass the inspiration you’ve found this month to your closest partners in chronic. They will appreciate the fresh bud and inspirational perspective.

Stoner Aries, be your own cannabis curator this month, and seek balance through the sacred herb. Use the right sacred tool for the right moment, and watch the blessings wash over you throughout April and beyond.

Aquarius Stoner Horoscope April

Stoner Aquarius the second month of Spring will bring nothing but good vibes. A sense of comfort, safety, and security will fill you like the perfect hit of our sacred herb from your favorite piece. Settle into the warm cozy feelings washing over you my stoner Water-Bearer.  Now is the time to focus on the here and now.  Don’t let the mistakes of the past, or worries of the future, cloud the blessings the cosmos is offering in this moment. It’s called the present for a reason, stoner Aquarius; so pack the bowl, breathe deep, and graciously accept the gifts currently in front of you.

Stoner Aquarius, this month is going to reward all the hard work you’ve been putting in with some much needed time to relax. Solo smoke sessions should be a priority.  Load the stash jar with your favorite strain, and toke some time to process everything that is happening. An essential aspect of self-care this month will include endo-excursions in nature.  Meditating with the sacred herb while enjoying the majesty of our terrestrial mother will help you appreciate the positive energy all around you.

Stoner Aquarius another important aspect to April will be your internal confidence.  Continue to follow your intuition.  Set realistic long term expectations in the work sphere, and focus on teamwork with the canna-crew. Be mindful and present with positivity at heart.  Instead of getting upset with somebody who failed to meet a deadline or couldn’t do the job up to your standards, ask them how you can help. You are naturally a good collaborator.  Remind your partners in chronic that you are all on the same team. Future periods may become more challenging; so take April as the calm before the storm. Being on top of your schedule will be pivotal if you want to overcome your limitations my stoner Water-Bearer. You may have a tendency to rush through things, but it’s important this month to remember that great things take a while to come to fruition. It’s for that reason that we all must learn to enjoy the here and now. 

Virgo Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Virgo the transition to Spring will find a wonderfully positive influence from our grand celestial bodies.  The particular positive push from the universe will combine well with your natural stoner tendencies and traits.  Compounding this positive combination will be the impact felt in both the personal and work spheres.

Alright my practical stoner Virgin, the cosmos will be sending waves of creativity to accentuate your logical hard working spirit this month.  March will be the perfect time to break into the staples of your sacred stash jar.  Granddaddy Purple or Jack Herer cannabis strains will ease internal tensions, and allow your sacred herbal assistant to act as divining rod between the cosmic creative influence of the celestial bodies, and your terrestrial ambitions.  Use your medicated meditative smoke sessions in March as a catalyst to find creative inspiration with positive impact in both the personal and work spheres.

Stoner Virgo your logical nature can mute your emotional communications.  In the first 20 days of March, the creative influence of the cosmos will help find new ways to express yourself to your cannabis companions and close partners in chronic.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to bring deep internal feelings to the surface, and share them with the canna-fam.  With personal growth come personal rewards!

This cosmic creative push will bring a new tool to your work arsenal stoner Virgo.  Toke time for solo smoke sessions away from the work setting to contemplate problems and obstacles.  These medicated meditative smoke sessions will uncover out-of-the-box pathways that could unlock doors to future progress within the economic machinery.

Stoner Virgo March 20th marks the Spring Equinox, and the beginning of a new astrological year.  This transition may bring about contemplation of spiritual and philosophical aspects of our terrestrial world.  This introspection will be a wonderful finish to the creative push of March.  Once again your sacred herbal assistant will help you dive deep into yourself; not to answer philosophical dilemmas, but to ask the right questions.  After this thought provoking productive month, you will transition into the new astrological year with a new way to see the future.  Here’s to puff puff passing productive progress.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Taurus the Spring season starts out with great expectations!  March will find you feeling even more charismatic than usual.  The universe will send waves of positivity within the sphere of the canna-fam, and your future plans. No need to stampede to any decisions though my rambunctious stoner Bull; just roll one up, breath deep, and let things be. Now is the time for planning rather than rushing.  

Stoner Taurus positive vibes abound this month! March will bring with it a sort of ease regarding your relationship with close cannabis companions. With very little effort, you should be able to ride a charming wave of kindness, and generosity. Lean into this feeling by loading the stash jar with plenty to share, and invite your smoke circle to inhale the perspective expanding blessings of the sacred herb. Ride the positive waves of the cosmos, and a perfectly packed bowl, to contemplate what it is you are truly passionate about; especially when it comes to your closest cannabis companions, and your dreams for the future. 

But, be forewarned my stoner Bull: March calls for you to put down the pipe while grinding in the work sphere. Medicated smoke sessions should be limited to after work hours only, as you may find yourself more spacey than usual. A nice balanced hybrid will bring you clarity without exacerbating the flighty feeling you may be fighting through the month of March. Communicate honestly with your corporate canna-crew, but remember not everyone shares your ideals stoner Taurus. We are all just like the sacred herb, no two strains are exactly alike, and why would we want them to be? Encourage individuality and innovation not only among your teammates, but within yourself too. That means you must approach your fellow corporate warriors with tact, and keep your horns protected. 

Remember stoner Taurus, the garden doesn’t produce fruit overnight.  We must plan and cultivate before we can harvest the rewards of our hard earned work. Simply go with the flow, and enjoy the burst of cosmically enhanced charisma emanating from within.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Scorpio the month of March sets up as a tale of two halves, split by the Spring Equinox on the 20th.  Celestial bodies will impart great influence on the stoner Scorpions of the world, but in dramatically different ways at different times.  Sit back, relax, and take tokes of the marijuana smoke; with help from your sacred herbal assistant, navigating these distinct periods will be as smooth as an ice chilled bong rip.

Get ready stoner Scorpio, the first two decades of March will be filled with a creative burst from the cosmos.  This surge of creative energy will be best served within personal spaces.  Find fun creative projects that enhance your living space.  The cannabis prescription for this phase before the 20th is a bit tricky.  Pure Sativa cannabis strains should be avoided.  Leaning into this creative cosmic vibe might turn the energetic cosmic influence into scatterbrained frustration.  However, a pure Indica strain of the sacred herb should also be avoided.  You certainly don’t want to waste this positive push by getting lost in a couch lock haze.  Therefore, find a true hybrid 50-50 strain to get the best of both worlds, and avoid the heavy influence of both worlds at the same time.

Stoner Scorpio, there is a bit more to the first two decades of the month.  The New Moon of the 13th marks an opportunity for new projects or fulfillment.  Toke time for planning and organizing before the New Moon, and then executing your grand design after the New Moon.

After the Spring Equinox of the 20th, the universal influence will remain energetic, but there will be a switch in focus from the personal sphere to the work sphere.  Be prepared to tackle all of your terrestrial missions.  This may seem daunting after a couple weeks of creative personal output, but you will have the energy from the universe in this exciting busy season to accomplish any task on your list.  I have two specific recommendations to keep you charging ahead.  First, maintain the integrity of your cosmic spacesuit with a healthy diet and exercise.  You will become an athlete tackling the to-do list within the economic machinery of our terrestrial world; you must take care of your physical body to maintain your performance.  Second the sacred herb should be utilized after the hard charge of the day is done to relax, and feel the blessings of the universe.  Make sure the stash jar is loaded with your favorite Indica strain for these moments.  Light one up, breathe in the natural relaxing influence of our sacred plant, and recharge your batteries for the next day’s battle.

You can have it all this month stoner Scorpio.  I’ll light a celebratory bowl to that!

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Sagittarius the late great Bob Marley told us, “When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.” So my stoner Archer, spark one up and settle in, this month will start out with an introspective influence. As the month marches on, the cosmos will open the doors for fun within the personal sphere. 

The month begins with a focus on home, both physical and emotional. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to connect with your inner self.  Communicate with your sensitive and compassionate internal drivers through medicated meditative smoke sessions.  This will help you think and feel deeply about matters that mean most to your cosmic existence. Lean into this sacred exercise to get your home and personal sphere to a place where you feel comfortable. 

Stoner Sag, now is the time to get plans laid in relation to your daily work routines. You will feel persistent energy, and a dose of determination throughout March. Load the stash jar with bright Sativas my stoner Archer, and aim your arrow towards future plans. Enjoy this energy, and focus on getting things sorted out, and set in place. Toke time with the sacred herb; release a burst of imagination.  With the sacred herbal assistant, look at things in a new light and make plans. It’s the perfect time to make that business deal, or cement that new partnership you’ve been considering. Get creative, find the joy in your everyday life, and let your positivity flow.

Stoner Sagittarius March will likely find you with a lot of energy to communicate and engage with matters relating to the broader smoke circle, cannabis companions, and even frenemies.  Use your spiritedness to communicate persuasively and with charisma. All things are possible when you are sharing the magic of the sacred herb with fellow terrestrial astronauts.

March will be quite progressive stoner Sag.  With the right Cannabis prescription at the right moments, and the right internal contemplation mixed with a stony influence, everything should fall in place.  It’s all within you stoner Sag.

Libra Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Libra March is all about your personal sphere. This month calls for a stash jar full of light hybrids that allow for deep, but focused introspective musings. Approach matters related to work and health with delicacy, and trust your intuition. No need for big changes this month stoner Libra.  Just like the sacred herb, a little planning goes a long way.  

My stoner Libra, March will offer you a burst of passion regarding your personal sphere. Load your stash jar with a lively hybrid cannabis strain, and persuade your closest partners in chronic to discuss profound subjects like life, spirituality, and our place in the cosmos. The canna-fam will revel in your creative spirit, and you’ll feel better having shared your originality with the smoke circle. Let your eccentric ideas flow like blowing out the perfect hit, slow and easy. Though don’t forget stoner Libra, to toke time for solo meditative smoke sessions with the sacred herb.  Harness the positive waves of courage and energy being sent through the universe to clear any mental cobwebs left over from the cold winter months.   

Stoner Libra, the first month of Spring brings you an extra punch of imagination and creativity in the work sphere. Take this opportunity to approach things from a fresh perspective, and with renewed relish. This month will breathe new life into your previous efforts regarding work relationships. Communicate openly, but keep your stash jar closed until you get home and shed your corporate armor. This month requires a clear head while navigating the economic machinery of our terrestrial world.  

Spring will start with the focus on yourself and your canna-fam. Avoid heavy indica strains this month, and instead load your favorite piece with a bright hybrid to solidify the flood of new ideas coming your way, without the fear of couch lock. Stoner Libra the warmth of the impending Spring season will only add to the good vibes emanating from you. 

Pisces Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Pisces March marks the official start of spring:  The season of rebirth, regrowth, and new beginnings. For some it is a welcomed time; one where they can reimagine themselves, shed old tendencies, and plant seeds for more healthy habits. But, not everyone will be as prepared as others for this time of transition and transformation. This month you should expect some of your closest cannabis companions who experience trouble to turn to you for calm and comfort. Don’t worry stoner Pisces, you aren’t expected to fix everything for everyone. While some people will seek advice and reassurance, others will benefit just by being in your presence. Even the simple act of sharing a bowl of the sacred herb, together in silence, can help to lift their spirits. 

Stoner Pisces, even though you are sharing your energy and optimism with those around you, you will be in no short supply of motivation and momentum to tackle your own to-do list. The cosmos has no surprises or chaos in store for you during this time, only sunshine and clear skies. Now is the time to plan more ambitious projects for the coming months. With the days growing longer, you will have more time to grind, and work on long term goals. Just be mindful of your work-life balance. Remember that you can do both my stoney Fish, smoke tough and still get stuff done. There’s nothing more satisfying than reaching the next milestone in the long journey toward greater success. Nothing of course, other than celebrating said achievements with your favorite herb and the canna crew.  Toke time to share celebratory bowls, reflecting on a job well done, and preparing for the next phase once the smoke clears. 

Stoner Pisces, maybe it’s because you are in your own zodiac season in March, but you can expect smooth swimming throughout the month. As long as you don’t make waves for yourself, you will be able to float along the cosmic river of life in peace, and with few obstacles. While you will be up for the task of being the sharing and caring one amongst your smoke circle, it will be important you don’t overlook your own self-care.  Even if it’s one night a week you set aside for solo smoke sessions – just you, your favorite pipe, and your top-shelf stash – make it happen. These meditative moments of peace and calm by yourself will keep your own spirit high, and ready to lift up others even higher. 

Leo Stoner Horoscope March

Be prepared for an interesting start to the Spring season stoner Leo.  The month of March will bring with it a sense of tranquility amongst your cannabis companions. The cold winter months are nearly over, and with the warmer weather comes even warmer relationships. Though be forewarned, stoner Lion, the entrance to Spring will begin with your mind on heavier topics such as debts, and material possessions. Fear not stoner Leo, with a perfectly packed bowl and stress relieving tokes, all will be well. 

The end of the winter season brings peace and harmony within your smoke circle my stoner Lion. The cosmos is blessing you with even more charisma and charm than usual. Your persuasive nature will be highlighted throughout March, and you’ll find yourself particularly diplomatic this month. Stoner Leo, use this energy, and a well stocked stash jar to communicate your more eccentric ideas to your closest cannabis companions. Gather your partners in chronic together for an endo-excursion. Go on a hike or plan a picnic. Just get outside and combust the sacred herb with your ganja gang. Share your favorite smoke spots, and puff puff pass the good vibes.  With positive cosmic waves, and a proactive approach to smoke circle expansion, this month will see your pride grow to an even higher level.

Stoner Leo March will likely have you focused on monetary matters. Now is the time to use your powers of intuition, and a few meditative solo smoke sessions, to address any issues related to debt, and material possessions. Perhaps your gut is telling you to focus on something in particular, go with it!  Sit down with your corporate canna-crew and bounce ideas off one another. Your success on this terrestrial plane is only limited by your own efforts and imagination.

So stoner Lion, grab your traveling piece, a fresh jar of your favorite cannabis strain, and a few of your closest partners in chronic, and get to wandering. Alone, you are determined and adventurous, but aligned with your best buds, you and your canna-crew prove to be an unstoppable force!

Gemini Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Gemini you can expect March to be a double header: Grinding hard in the early days then slowing your roll to focus on peace and relaxation. It is recommended during the ‘work hard’ phase that you put down the pipe, or at least keep it at home. No one is saying that you have to give up the ganja completely stoner Gemini. But, the best advice to offer is this: Know when to hold’em, and know when to smoke ‘em. Keeping cannabis consumption and work separate will ensure you make notable growth in both your career and personal realms. 

At work, a clear head will not only increase efficiency, it will help you to avoid confusion when communicating with your coworkers. Attention to detail will be especially crucial to maintaining forward and upward momentum. This keen observation also means keeping an eye on how your peers are feeling. It’s not babysitting stoner Gemini, but during this period you will be called upon to lead the team through the more complicated projects; and at times, to simply be an encouraging voice. Your charm and creative brain will help reassure those you work with that together, you can, and will, get the job done. But, don’t worry stoner Gemini! Smoke-free only applies to the nine-to-five grind, or on-the-clock hours. Free time and weekends are, and always will be, four-twenty friendly. 

Stoner Gemini, by the middle of the month, it will be time to pivot to the play hard and puff hard portion of March. Instead of focusing your efforts outward to creating a better cosmos, turn your third eye sight inward, and invest your contemplative energy in yourself. This doesn’t mean something is wrong, or you need to start reading self-help books, stoner Gemini. Rather think of this time as a season for self-discovery. Whether you are tokin’ solo, or a part of a hazy smoke circle, light up and dive deep. My stoner Twin, you may already know your passions; what makes you curious, and what inspires you. But, what are you doing to pursue, or manifest, those dreams? It only takes one step to begin your journey.  Just one spark to fire up a sweet smoky bowl. So, light one up stoner Gemini, and blaze ahead to where you really want to be.