Tag Archives: podcast

Virgo Stoner Horoscope May 2019

Stoner Virgo, the final month of spring will be marked by a rain of positivity from a supportive celestial alignment. In order to make the most of these benefits, you must stay active. Avoid couchlock and putting off tasks for later. While it may always be nice to get high, those who remain ‘high minded’ will be the winners of the day. Keep your focus on the big picture; getting bogged down within the swamp of minutia is likely to stall progress.

Stoner Virgos are advised to carve out specific times for meditative smoke sessions. Before you can spread optimism, you must strive to be your optimal self. There is a distinct difference between a ‘live and let live’ mentality, and simply being lazy. The obvious goal is to be part of the first mindset. Your success should not be contingent upon the actions of others. Which also means you should not worry yourself over others’ actions. Instead, when able, take the opportunity to smoke a bowl and turn the third eye inward. While the universe is sure to offer potential for prospective progress, it will be up to you, stoner Virgo, to take action. Whether it means staying a little late, or arriving to the job a little early, make the most of the situation at hand by being ready to rise to the occasion. Your diligence will ensure you are ready for that big moment when opportunity calls.

True for all stoner Virgos, personal obstacles must be conquered alone. This serves as a reminder that stoner Virgos will require solo toke time in order to prepare themselves for the demands of external forces. Bringing smoke circle acquaintances into personal situations might result in adding unnecessary fuel to the fire. Do your best to make sure you are prepared for any and all obstacles that might arise. While it can be nice to share a moment and a bowl with our fellow cannabis companions, there are times when we must rise to the occasion on our own. Be confident in your ability to overcome any, and all, adverse conditions the cosmos may bring your way. Once you have conquered the conflicts of the day, be ready to call upon your bud-loving buddies to spark one up or share a celebratory bowl for the win.

Taurus Stoner Horoscope May 2019

Stoner Taurus the planetary alignment of May will bring a stagnant chill influence to both the personal and business realm. This interesting cosmic malaise will leave you without support, but also without negative machinations. Whether the bowl is half full or empty, the stoner Taurus bull still tokes on.

Let’s look at the month of May in two halves split by the full flower moon of the 18th.

First Half:
Fuel your own engine. With stagnant universal influence, motivation and energy must come from within. Avoid all Indica strains of the sacred herb. Matching the calm of the cosmos with this chill bud could lead to your downfall stoner Taurus. The first 17 days of the period should be approached on a strict diet of Sativa greens. The calm cosmic winds provide more stable ground to stand on. This is the perfect time to strike up a small business adventure, or focus on ways to shine and climb at work. Production must come from within, but it will lead to progress. Be forewarned stoner Taurus: The first half effort must be coupled with methodical contemplation and patient execution. No rushing, especially in potentially dramatic situations. Seek allies in your quest for productive progress. Assemble a team of canna-buddies, and take down those goals.

Second Half:
This will be the optimal time to focus on the personal sphere. After the full moon, the personal sphere will become dynamic with swirling winds of change. Chill stoner Taurus, both single and partnered bulls will be able to ride these dynamic winds to positive outcomes. The stagnant universal influence will continue, but personal evaluation will come from the clear skies. Now the Indica species of the sacred herb will assist you. Sink into yourself and soar high above the terrestrial plain. Seek a high minded perspective to maneuver within the chaotic messages.

Channel your inner positive self stoner Taurus. The bowl is half full.

Sagittarius Stoner Horoscope May 2019

Stoner Sagittarius the final Spring month will bring an all encompassing shower of positive cosmic support. Dude, pretty cool right? Your mission will be to puff puff pass this shower of positivity to your fellow terrestrial astronauts.

The universe works in strange ways. Often there will be no road signs marking the path to positivity. In May, as long as you are following your own plotted path, cosmic support should light the way. However, be forewarned stoner Sagittarius: Do not attempt to predict or force this universal blessing. Remain confident in self, and simply continue down your chosen path.

The universe is also doubling down with this rain of positivity. Kinda like topping that flower bowl with a nice keif dusting. Additional cosmic support may come from cannabis companions and smoke circle canna-buddies. Yup, mingling among the hive will bring a honey pot of positivity. I sure hope your chosen path in May includes adventures with your bud loving buddies.

At work it is advised you strive to be the best. Creativity will not be required, but hard work and task mastery will see you through to progress in the work sphere. Grind hard at work so you can grind it up at home.

Stoner Sagittarius’ in a relationship may float on, everything will be alright! The single stoner Sag can expect an active period of flirtatious dating. Long term companionship may not be in the stars, but that doesn’t mean flirting can’t be fun. Get out stoner Sag, and enjoy your fellow terrestrial astronauts. Seek fun adventure with no relationship pressure.

Within the familial dynamic, be proactive with obstacles that arise. Do not put off grievances or difficult situations. A simple misunderstanding can fester into a dramatic problem if ignored. Familial problems can often disappear into a smoke cloud of a shared bowl. If the family member does not partake in the sacred herb, sometimes a solo session before confrontation can take the edge of defensive ego away. Remember stoner Sagittarius, communication and understanding is a two way dynamic. Outward messaging must also be accompanied by inward receiving.

Scorpio Stoner Horoscope May 2019

Stoner Scorpio as April showers subside, you can expect May flowers to bloom in full force. Bright solar rays of energy and encouragement will lead to an abundance of opportunities and new prospects. It could be cliche to say, but the sky’s the limit! The reality is this: Your choice to pursue such endeavors will be a determining factor in how high your successes reach. While the season is ripe for big bong rips, and roaming the terrestrial plain to your favorite smoke spots, there will be times you need to pass on the puff puff. You will be able to enjoy the best of both worlds, as long as you are able to know when to hold ‘em, and know when to roll ‘em.

The workplace should be your main focus when it comes to grinding hard. Just like in the personal sphere, your positive emanations will bring certain opportunity for career advancement. Keep a keen eye to tasks at hand stoner Scorpio. Pay attention and keep open ears to the input of coworkers. Collective efforts and persistence is sure to pay off. Whether or not your corporate cohorts are cannabis friendly, all who invest their time and efforts are sure to equally enjoy the plentiful harvest of a hard day’s work.

Get up and get out into the world stoner Scorpio! Float on and fly high among your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts. Expanding your areas of exploration is sure to result in smoke circle expansion. These new canna-buddies will blend more minds to ponder the big picture, and they are certain to lead to more opportunities flexing your entrepreneurial muscles. Don’t be shy stoner Scorpio! People are sure to see your bright solar aura surrounding you, and they will be unable to resist discovering what you are all about.

All possibilities will be brought together in May. The enthusiasm you bring to each individual situation will light the way. It is likely that newfound cannabis companions could spark inspiration for a new, and lucrative side-hustle. Just remember, sharing is caring: Positive culminations from newfound cannabis-companions will come from mutual progress, not selfish gain.

Pisces Stoner Horoscope May 2019

Stoner Pisces you are compassionate, artistic, and gentle. You have wisdom to share with all of those who are fortunate to intersect your path. While ‘gentle’ may not be an attribute traditionally associated with those of a leader, this will be precisely the roll you will inhabit this month. An unusual planetary alignment will coax leadership skills out of the stoner Pisces. This May, you will hit the ground running, and still be able to run the grounds hitting your favorite greens. It is advised, however, to have a specific plan before you leap into action. Trust your intuition. The cosmos has your back! With the help of the calming cannabinoid confidant, you can turn fear into fierceness, and anxiety into action.

In the workplace it is certainly okay to be a bud-loving buddy, a friend of the sacred herb. But, ultimately belief in oneself will be the key to progress during the month of May. There is no new magic wand you will wield. Rather, prompt attention and efficient movements will see you through to crossing the finish line tape of success. Regardless of whether or not you are the de-facto leader of projects, know that your input will be heard and appreciated by all of your peers in the workplace. During tense moments, or when the group is up against a deadline, will be the time when the stoner Pisces will shine the brightest. You have no need to pretend to be a know-it-all, but your know-how will be an indispensable contribution to the group. Be sure to let the greens blaze freely at home. Let your inner light burn brightly in the professional setting. You will accomplish it all stoner Pisces.

There is a cosmic kick to this unusual period. With a newly exhibited confidence, and a new way of looking at opportunities, problems, and obstacles, this period is perfect for habitual discovery. Break out of old patterns! The universe supports you! Travel down paths usually avoided or ignored. Self reliance and tenacity is a must! Puff, puff, pass the good vibes stoner Pisces. These new paths will lead to magical and meaningful manifestations with your fellow terrestrial travelers. Whether you are sharing a freshly ground bowl of the green Earth’s finest, or sharing in the trials of life, the universe, and everything, your good will and kind heart is sure to ripple into the farthest reaches of the galaxies.

Libra Stoner Horoscope May 2019

The final Spring month will be a bright and active period for the stoner Libra. To take advantage of the positive planetary positioning, the stoner Libra must maintain confidence in themselves. Not necessarily confidence in one’s self, but confidence in direction as well. It is the direct direction of the stoner Libra that will be most important during the final Spring month. Equivocation of resolve, or meandering off the chosen path could lead to the downfall of this positive period.

Early in the month, this direction must be contemplated with the sacred herb. Find a solitary space without distraction to medicate and meditate on your life path direction, and the level of confidence in it. This smoke session with the sacred herb may very well give you the exercise needed to proceed down your chosen path with vigor.

This heady contemplation could prove stressful. There are a few strains that could limit the anxiety of your lofty mission this month:
– Granddaddy Purple (Indica)
– Jack Herer (Sativa)
– Girl Scout Cookies (Hybrid)
A carefully selected strain of the sacred herb could be the perfect guiding light for your life path in May. With a positive path laid out, simple pot holes and bumps in the road will be easily navigated.

Familial mediation will be required from the stoner Libra this period. Cannabis companions will need your balanced assessment, and opinion, to sort out a problem of their own. However, be forewarned stoner Libra: Impartiality must be maintained. To truly assist multiple parties you are fond of, no sides can be taken or lobbied for. Simply help them find their own path to reconciliation. Perhaps a shared bowl among loved ones could be the bridge over their problematic gap.

The full moon of the 18th marks a clear line of activity. Positive dynamism is to be expected after the Full Flower Moon. A wonderful catalyst to this positive period will be a focus on personal health. By this time the summer months will only be days away. It’s never too late to start working on that beach body and hiking cardio.

Leo Stoner Horoscope May2019

The stoner Leo will keep those fires blazing in the final Spring month, as positive energy and good fortune continue to rain down as cosmic blessings from the universe. While May is likely to bring a few last minute showers, your energy and perseverance will bring the heat needed to keep the inner light burning bright. Whether you prefer a well balanced blunt, or a freshly packed bowl, keep the greens fresh with an optimistic outlook. Equilibrium is always a noble goal. You are sure to find your inner zen as long as you keep your eyes on that peaceful prize, and you keep your aspirations high.

Take time early in the month to organize your tasks and prepare a plan of attack. Frequent meditative smoke sessions in the first few days of the month will result in a fruitful fortitude you will carry with you throughout the summer season. Just be mindful of where and how you direct your fiery gaze.

Be forewarned stoner Leo: Meandering around putting out fires as they pop up, could lead you off the positive path in May. A well established task list will assist in maximizing productive output. Smoke for satisfaction and sound mind; stretch the imagination for achievement. You may even surprise yourself with what you can get done by maintaining an organized platform.

The final spring month will produce a bountiful harvest of warm embraces. This will apply equally to bud-loving buddies, and your closest cannabis companion. Use the warming days to stoke the flames of friendship and goodwill among your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts. Use the warming nights to embrace your current, or potential, partner-in-chronic to fan the embers of cosmic companionship. Single and partnered stoner Leos will both benefit as long as their intentions remain stoney and steadfast.

The days are growing longer stoner Leo. Do not pass up that last minute smoke filled adventure; however trivial it may seem. May 18th is the flower full moon. The period around this full moon will be particularly dynamic. Remember, it is never too late to plant the seeds of prosperity. Just like the canvas of colorful flora that will bloom during this month, the efforts you put in today will result in the long lasting growth of tomorrow.

Gemini Stoner Horoscope May 2019

Stoner Gemini the final Spring month may feel like running in sand toward goals in the distant future. But fear not my stoner yin yang twin, there are plenty of tools and options to lead you down a progressive path in May. With the right sacred greens, and canna-buddies to share bowls with, you will have more than enough support on your terrestrial travels.

This slow and methodical cosmic support may seem like a period of great calm and contentment. Although this feeling will be quite welcome, and a pleasant experience, it comes with dangers. It will be very easy to float through May staring at the stars and enjoying the spring flowers. An indifferent attitude and relaxed nature will be easy to slip into, like a trance. However, this pleasant trance could lead to a future trap. Problems and obstacles pleasantly ignored today will become monstrous mountains of stress tomorrow.

All forward progress will come under power of your own engines stoner Gemini. Progressive action and advantage must be created and taken by you. The first inspired tool to swim through this stagnant cosmic malaise will be a strict diet of Sativa greens. The energetic species of the sacred herb could give you the extra boost to get the tasks of the day done. Avoid Indica for fear of time and dangers slipping past with ease. Answer the cosmic questions. Put out the small fires as they appear. Diligence to solve the issues that arise will assure the enjoyment of this serendipitous period.

Seek out activities with canna-buddies. These smoke circle activities may seem frivolous in your quest for a progressive path, but the mere act of joining your cannabis crew for fun festivities will illuminate solutions on your journey. Get out, or stay in! No matter the time or place, make sure your life in May is filled with cannabis companions and family alike.

Capricorn Stoner Horoscope May 2019

Stoner Capricorn get up and get moving! In the last Spring month you must provide the momentum toward progress, the planets won’t help. But all is not lost. With the right ingredients of the sacred herb and a positive plan, the month of May will be a delight for all the senses.

In some ways May will be a choose-your-own-adventure story, waiting for you to write it. Take a trip with the sacred herb if you need inspiration on the chapters ahead of you. The number one rule for May: Stay active! To assist in your active endeavors, limit your cannabis diet to Sativa strains only. This herbal assistant will help keep the energy high and motivation strong.

This active lifestyle comes with tremendously rewarding byproducts. Toke time to look inward during your travels with Mary Jane. Your destined path is right in front of you. The most important byproduct of increased activity is the health benefits, both mental and physical. The current planetary alignment will not nudge stoner Capricorns toward an active and energetic lifestyle. However, Capricorns will see universal support once they become active. If you sit back and chill, you will lose opportunity.

Create your own momentum stoner Capricorn! Are you stuck in the gears of the economic grind? May is the perfect month to take a chance on change. Only you know your circumstance, but it may be time to come to grips with your fear and desire. Toke time for a solo smoke session with a piece of paper and a pen. What do you want? What bothers you about your current situation? A simple writing exercise could lead to that breakthrough that starts you down that passionate path to freedom. In the end, it very well could be a new direction or effort in your current field that could make all the difference. You can’t find out until you consult with the sacred herb and your inner self.

The full moon of the 18th marks an important transition for the stoner Capricorn. If you were able to motivate yourself in the first half of the month, then a peaceful positive period will ensue. Now a hybrid strain, or even dabbling with Indica will be possible in the final stage of May. Crucial family issues will come to bare during this phase. As long as you keep your cool, all issues will be solved without harm. Chill buds between cannabis companions is always a decent way to freeze out a tense mood.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope May 2019

Stoner Cancer cosmic rays of energy will shine down on your sign in the final Spring month. Your future’s so bright, you better wear shades. This bright solar impact will provide loads of energy, but it could also burn if you don’t apply the right protection. Fear not my lovely stoner crab, I have the right tools to keep you flying high in May.

The beginning of the month will be crucial. Early in the month toke time for a solo meditative smoke session focused on confidence and direction. Center yourself before embarking on your terrestrial travels in May. The strain or species of the sacred herb does not matter. The energetic influence of the universe will not matter if you are not firm about your internal confidence and progressive direction.

Buzzing energy will draw bees to the hive, and you will be the honey. Watch out! Common sense and a little restraint may be required to make it through May unscathed. First, my lovely single stoner Cancers: Don’t over do it! Sprinkle in a measure of responsible consideration before buzzing about pollinating all the flowers. Second, my strong partnered stoner Cancer: Focus solely on your cannabis companion. If you go play to close to the sun, your domestic shelter may not be there next time it rains. Remain grounded, but enjoy fluttering your flirtatious wings. Keep smoke sessions light to keep your head from getting lost in the clouds, but impactful to maintain your internal grounding.

This connection to your internal self will be crucial to success in May. The strong flow of energy will be great for work and activities, but cannabis companions may be in a different planetary alignment. Short sighted impulse can hurt the stoner Cancer in May, and cause problems with canna-buddies who may not understand the frenetic energy of the period. Smoke on it stoner Cancer. New information in May must be verified before action results. Act with full throated desire once accurate information is obtained.

Avoid burnout stoner Cancer! After the full moon of the 18th, the energetic action of May will kick into another gear. Lean on cannabis companions and canna-buddies when the dynamism and chaos reach red line levels. Brief smoke sessions with a balanced hybrid strain could help see you through the dynamic end of Spring.

In the end many lessons will be learned, and an epiphany of self discovery is probable. You got this stoner Cancer.