Tag Archives: #2016

Taurus March 2016

Well, Stoner Taurus, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it seems likely that you will be in a constant battle all March long… With yourself… In your head.  That is if you are not receptive to others thoughts and opinions during this time.  It is important that you try to be as mutable and open to all forms of interpretation.  I’m not saying that you’re necessarily wrong on where you stand on any specific matter, rather you would benefit greatly from the opportunity to assess your own thought processes as well as understanding that your way is not the only way.  March will be a month to gently lean on the sacred herb.

Taurus, ignorance is not always bliss.  Uncomfortable situations make you cringe (almost as much as change…blehh).  You will be forced to deal with certain matters this month that push the levels of your comfort zone whether you like it or not.  Take this as an opportunity for introspection and personal growth.  This will allow you to better understand and empathize with others in the future.

You must not avoid people or potential problems.  You’ll have to face these obstacles head on, like the bull you are.  You would greatly benefit from some form of meditation, even if it’s just a walk around the block.  Keep yourself elevated and use the powers of the sacred herb whenever possible; this will help keep your mind wide open and judgements to a minimum.  It can also be the peace offering if you find yourself in a disagreement. If you are able to stay out of your own way this month, you will be just fine.  Just remember that we are all here looking for the same things; love and acceptance.

Leo January 2016

Stoner Leo, January is your time to shine as the cosmos lights you up with attention.  When I visualize you in January, I think of Neo in the Matrix after he actualizes his power in the simulation.  Flex Leo, you are strong and powerful.  

I did not say January would be easy.  Stay away from the sacred herb that touches your laid back easy going personality.  Productivity is the key to your power in January.  Go to the store and grab the most creative and powerfully stimulating sacred herb.  Light up the herb and flex your power on the universe.  Execution of ideas and accomplishment of tasks are the key to fulfilling your potential.  The universe has blessed you with an amazing opportunity in January, but it is up to you to receive this gift.

Things will be a little different for stoner Leo’s love life in January.  You can expect explosive results, but your ability to influence and impact these shining moments will be out of your control.  Lay back and go with the flow in your personal life, but pay attention and don’t miss any memorable events.

If every month could be like January, stoner Leos would rule the world.

Aries January 2016

Breathe in that crisp winter air my Stoner Aries.  It will awaken your senses and fill your soul with much needed fresh start!  You should find yourself positive and bursting with energy all month long.  From outings with your favorite buds to cuddle time in front of the fire blazing away a long work day.  January 2016 will be giving you a new outlook on your life.

Work will be work dearest cannabis companion.  Depending on your position will depend on how you feel about this  month.  It will be a month to play catch up on all loose ends and finish those piles of paperwork.  You should be good to go with a lil hybrid in your vape and some groovy tunes in your soul.  Be sure to cross all your t’s and dot those i’s as if you do not it will come back 10 fold in at tax time.

Your love life in 2015 was a bit shaky to say the least.  For those of you who ended a relationship recently be prepared to meet an influential person this January.  This new emotional connection may start up cool at the beginning of the month but will be blazing like a torch to your dab rig by the end of the month.  The only other side to this you will be facing your innermost fears.  You can and will burn each one down.

Sagittarius January 2016

Stoner Sagittarius, January may seem like a time when you feel an unwelcome stagnancy.  Instead of fighting this feeling, embrace it.  It would be recommended that most people try to avoid couch-lock.  But, for you, this may be exactly what is needed.  Grab a bag (perhaps a nice relaxing indica) and maybe catch up on your favorite TV shows or invite some folks over and watch that movie you all have been too busy to see–Don’t forget the snacks!  While the rain might dampen some people’s plans, you can say “let it pour.”  The wet weather will be no worries for you, as you didn’t have any particular plans to begin with.  And this is okay.  This month it is better to wait and be surprised by what is to come instead of forcing the issue.

Where you will burning it up, in the productive sense, is the workplace.  If you are feeling overwhelmed, don’t.  Remember that your capabilities are more than even you might think.  When you’re feeling like chaotic is the best word to describe work happenings, take a step back.  Your first instinct may be to ask others to get involved.  Instead, take some time at home to meditate with some help of that ever-so-sacred herb.  It will help amplify your inner peace and remind you that you held the solutions within yourself all along.

At home, don’t push too hard.  Although January is not the time to go full steam ahead, you may become restless if you do not direct your efforts somewhere.  Extend your smoking circle.  Meeting new friends or spending time with old ones will be the best way to pass the time and prepare yourself for the for the soon to come changes of spring.

Scorpio January 2016

Do you feel IT stoner Scorpio?  IT being the building positivity that 2016 is bringing to you.  The bling that you are emitting is brighter than any perc in a new water pipe.  This first month of the year is a tell tale sign of what to expect for the next 12 months.

Work is where you will shine the brightest this month.  You are a trusted individual and one who knows how to get things done.  Because of these traits you will find yourself amidst an array of money making deals.  Your decision will need to be a quick one so you must trust your intuition.  Do not take on more than you can handle.  Be confident that you will see an upswing in the color of green.  More green in your pocket equals more green in your pipe!

On the home front you may be a bit unavailable due to your work.  Be sure to be attentive when you are spending time with your loved ones.  Being busy does not leave room for being emotionally absent.  If you’re attached make sure you spend some quality time on conversation.  Pack up the vape and have a real heart to heart.  It will leave you both happier and more content.  If you’re single don’t go out of the way to start anything quite yet as you are very busy and may not be able to give someone all that is needed in a fresh relationship.  If you choose to start one keep it light as not to disappoint your potential new love.

Capricorn January 2016

Capricorn stoner, January will be a time for deep space travel.  You will lose contact with the cosmic winds that usually swing you from one planetary emotion to another.  You are going to travel to the dark side of the moon in January, and all cosmic communications will be lost.  You will withstand this dark period with the sacred herb as your guide and me as your faithful cannabis companion.

Do not read this horoscope as an ominous fortune.  Stoner Capricorn, you have an amazing opportunity in front of you.  When the seas are calm and the cosmic winds dissipate, you have a tremendous opportunity to travel deep inside yourself.  January will be the perfect time to focus on you, and your inner self.  Powerful sacred herbal edibles and a quiet house will combine to be your space vehicle as you travel to the depth of your own psyche on a mission of discovery and growth.  Grab your writing journal.  Every space adventure needs a mission log.

Be forewarned.  Do not try to accomplish larger goals within your work and personal life in January.  The harder you try to push forward the more risk you take for negative reactions.  Capricorn stoner, you must let go of the fight in January.  Everything will be just fine with a light hand of management.

End of transmission:  God’s speed

Virgo January 2016

Stoner Virgo, January will be a bit of a mixed bag.  One key to the month is knowing that you cannot control everything in your life.  No matter what your religious affiliation is, the stoner Virgo must give themselves up to the cosmos.  Smoke a bowl, clear your head, and meditate on positive affirmations.

From the perspective of work and business, the stoner Virgo will be an ass kicker in January.  Go out there and get the job done!  Hit the ground running in January, and it may positively affect the entire year.  Use all of your strengths.  Organization and energy is your competitive advantage.  There are no roadblocks in your way.

The stoner Virgo’s love life and personal relationships with family will be the source of the major challenges in January.  The sacred herb can help you stay calm and see perspectives outside of yourself.  You can’t control loving outcomes so relax and enjoy the ride.  The less pressure you put on others in January the better off you will be.  If you are in an existing relationship, you should consider counseling and or a renewed openness to heartfelt communication.

Here is your mission in January stoner Virgo:  Go out there and be a monster at work and a cuddly bear at home.  You may not be able to control circumstances, but you can control your reactions.

Aquarius January 2016

Take it slow this month Stoner Aquarius:  That is, be sure to take moments to collect your thoughts, maybe have a bowl and then a stroll around the block.  Avoid rushing toward tasks that you have not yet given thought.  You know what you want Aquarius, but you will best achieve these ends if you are thinking ahead.  If you find yourself feeling a bit dazed and confused it is okay to slow the roll even more.

Don’t worry about not getting enough done.  While others will be starting their year making resolutions, you will be reaching your goals and handling business.  As long as you keep your business and blunt times separate, each will be optimal and enhance the quality of the other.  Avoid those who might be envious of your enthusiasm.  Instead of competing, collaborate.  All parties involved will benefit more from a peace pipe offering than from trying to pull the others in different directions.

If you are able to find this peace, keeping it will be easy and your home life will experience an increase in positivity.  You are sure to win the argument if the situation arises, but the real win will be avoiding conflicts before they become problems.  Find a common ground.  Maybe “Green” is everyone’s favorite color (and herb).  Use this commonality to aid in understanding the other’s perspective and you will forget what all the fuss was about to begin with.

Taurus January 2016

Stoner Taurus the new year is bringing you many new situations. You need to look at the big picture to see clearly what actions you’ll need to take to stay on track.  Lean on the sacred herb in times when you need quiet contemplation.  You will need quiet contemplation this month!  Be sure to make time for this and allow for each emotion to be felt throughout your meditation to properly gauge how to portray yourself this month in all roles you play.

The hardest impact you will face this month is in your smoking circle. There is nothing you can do to prepare for the blind side hit you will face as it is a very important lesson.  You are steadfast in recovery so do not allow yourself to wallow in the despair you’ll certainly encounter.  Find solace in the fact that what remains of your group of friends after this will be closer than ever and you’ll be bonded in a realm that has always been just out of reach.  As for love:  Don’t be bullheaded. Allow petty disagreements to slide and spend some quality time embracing each other.

Allow the positivity of your business life to radiate through you all month long.  You may not be bringing in the big bucks this month but you are on the proper path.  Do not question the path you’ve chosen simply allow yourself to flow down its path.  Do dot your i’s, cross your t’s, be mindful of your co-workers and keep a decisive way about you and things will be great.  You will find you need your pipe less at work.  Save that green for the home scene where you will need it most!  It’s all about yin and yang this month Stoner Taurus and you can and will come out on top.

Cancer January 2016

Happy 2016 stoner Cancer!  Now that you’ve brought the New Year in with a Bang get ready for a busy January!  For the most part you will enjoy the new twists and turns this month brings you.  Remember that platform we talked about in December?  Now is the time to test its durability.

Work, work, work, work, WORK!  Yes stoner Crab you are going to work like you have never worked before.  Before you frown, realize this is work you take pride in and you will enjoy watching your success spring from it.  The emotional energy you create may be enough to keep you high all day long.  Do not be surprised if you don’t need your usual smoke break this month!  No matter what negativity is thrown at you this month, keep a calm demeanor and you will stay on top!

Changes are stirring in your realm of personal relations.  Change can be hard on my stoner Cancers.  Note that all the changes you see happening are, in fact, quite good.  Pay attention to your emotional needs of both you, your partner and your family.  Your comfort at home will leak into your other personal relationships.  Know that now is a time that you  may have to meet in the middle on a few issues.  In the end it will be worth it.  Make sure you take respite for yourself when you can.  January will be positive, but you need to keep your mind calm.  Meditation with the sacred herb always a beautiful thing.