Earth Sign – The Virgin – August 23 – September 22

Nothing gets passed the stoner Virgo. The virgin of the stoner Zodiac is detail oriented, and always knows who’s holding the good green. No smoke circle is complete without this practical stoner. They may not know the most exotic smoke spots, but the stoner Virgo will always find a safe smoke spot.

The stoner Virgo is hyper-aware and often hyperactive. Calming strains like Granddaddy Purple and Jack Herer can help ease anxiety and bring more clarity to Virgo’s manic mind. The sacred herb in general helps the stoner Virgo ease the tension of living with a perfectionist’s aspirations.

The stoner Virgo is the perfect canna-buddy to help solve a problem or organize an idea. And this kind kush toker will always arrive on time to help a fellow cannabis companion.

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Virgo January 2016

Stoner Virgo, January will be a bit of a mixed bag.  One key to the month is knowing that you cannot control everything in your life.  No matter what your religious affiliation is, the stoner Virgo must give themselves up to the cosmos.  Smoke a bowl, clear your head, and meditate on positive affirmations.

From the perspective of work and business, the stoner Virgo will be an ass kicker in January.  Go out there and get the job done!  Hit the ground running in January, and it may positively affect the entire year.  Use all of your strengths.  Organization and energy is your competitive advantage.  There are no roadblocks in your way.

The stoner Virgo’s love life and personal relationships with family will be the source of the major challenges in January.  The sacred herb can help you stay calm and see perspectives outside of yourself.  You can’t control loving outcomes so relax and enjoy the ride.  The less pressure you put on others in January the better off you will be.  If you are in an existing relationship, you should consider counseling and or a renewed openness to heartfelt communication.

Here is your mission in January stoner Virgo:  Go out there and be a monster at work and a cuddly bear at home.  You may not be able to control circumstances, but you can control your reactions.

Virgo December 2015

Stoner Virgo, December will be quite the roller coaster, strap in for safety. I know you don’t like the term bipolar, but your ability to compartmentalize triumphs and tragedy will serve you well in December. The cosmic winds will be swirling around you during this period. You will feel the burn of a frigid headwind one day and the warmth of the cosmic winds at your back the next. Your ability to weather both forces will be the key to surviving and thriving in December.

In regards to your workplace, you must be on a full defensive posture. Know thyself, you must select the sacred herb with the highest productive properties for you. Avoid any strains that lower your defenses and open you up to attack mentally. The area of work will be where you feel the most head winds in December. Two things will get you through your work: 1. A positive and diligent work ethic. 2. Calm restraint with coworkers, bosses, and or employees.

Work may feel like a Metallica album, but your love life should open up like a Michael Franti jam. Everything is possible in December for the stoner Virgo. If love and romance is what you seek, it will be found. If you seek friendship and social community contact, you can find it during this period. Please keep this key factor in mind stoner Virgo; you are in charge, not the universe. The largest factor for failure will be you. Do not let the pressures of work affect how you treat people in your personal life. Protect at work, thrive in life.

Virgo November 2015

The universal energies in November are going to cause the stoner Virgo some unusually odd occurrences.  You may need to keep your pipe full of indica this month as things will not go according to plan for you my cannabis companion.  Knowing this in advance, you need to put a lid on your analytical side.  There will be no way to make sense of all the insanity surrounding you.  The indica will allow you to watch and learn without having to become overly involved.  This month’s energies are not aimed at you specifically.  Ergo you should be able to skate by this very trying time with little bruises if you choose to be prepared.  Which cannot be said for most of the zodiac.

With every sign in the cosmos having a hard time you will need to watch your tone and tongue with your personal relationships.  Do not allow your harshly overcritical self to show its face in November.  It’s normal for you expect perfection or nothing at all:  Virgo you will greatly miss out on the beauty of this lifetime if you do not cage that beast.  Kind words and affection will go a long way for you in November.  IF you choose to pay attention to this you will be rewarded and any spats you find yourself in will easily be concluded.  Use that charisma and let your love light shine.

Work for my stoner Virgo’s should be amiable.  If you have taken all proper considerations into account, set up all back up plans and have made all the right moves you should easily attain your goals this month.  The sharks are out there and they are waiting on your to slip up.  Being your very prepared self you can avoid any contact with them if you did in fact take all necessary precautions.

Although November may not be the best month of 2015 for you my stoner Virgo; stay prepared, be kind, and you will puff puff pass right through this odd month.  

Virgo October 2015

Stoner Virgo, for the month of October the cosmos will remain fairly neutral as an impacting force in your life.  This non action by the universe will squarely put the power of impact into your hands.  During this period you should think of consolidation of power and influence, not expansion of your worldly influence.  This is where the trap of October lies for the Virgo stoner, complacency and stagnation.

The cosmic seas are calm in October for the Virgo stoner, but this means all the power to move rests in your hands.  Your business or workplace will not provide a dynamic platform this month.  It will be most important to consolidate your power and influence in the workplace.  October is a great month to shore up your current standing or position in the company, or build a wall around your market-share in business.

I will give you two themes for relationship success in October Virgo stoner:  Appreciation and Honor.

October is a great time to meditate on your current personal standing in the universe.  You must honor and appreciate what you have.  Break out the most potent Indica species of the sacred herb and enjoy a deeply contemplative meditation on your relationship to your fellow humans.  Honor and appreciation can be found in every status, whether you are single, dating, or married.  If you have been frustrated or depressed about your relationship status, this could be a great exercise to break negative patterns and open a new chapter of love and happiness.  It all starts within yourself.

Virgo September 2015

Virgo stoner, the blessings of August were merely a training ground for the opportunities of September.  Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  This message of inspiration and action are pointed directly at the Virgo stoner in September.

Celestial bodies are colliding in the cosmos and raining positive emanations down on the Virgo stoner in September.  This isn’t the time to lay down and sun bathe.  Gandhi’s inspirational words imply that action is required to affect the change you want to see in your life and this world.  The universe is giving you the positive green light to “be” in September, but you cannot waste this opportunity.  The blessings of the cosmos will be wasted if you do not act.

No matter what your station is in the machine of society, the cosmos has blessed you with an opportunity in September.  Meditate with the sacred herb early in the month.  Get your ideas and thoughts organized because September is the time to execute them.  Self employed Virgo stoners will have an easier time impacting the universe with change, but even the corporate warrior will be powerful in September.  Be wary stoner Virgo, this is not the time to lay back with couch lock and bask in the glow of the cosmos.  Ghandi’s wonderful message is one of action.  Be creative.  Be organized.  Be ambitious.  Be generous.  You must BE!

Virgo August 2015

Stoner Virgo, you have my sympathies.  The last couple months have not been the best way to start your summer.  Sympathies can turn to cheers in August!  The dark cloud of frustration and challenges has passed you by.  Puff puff pass the bowl, August is finally your time to shine this summer.

Stoner Virgo you are like an action hero with both guns blazing in August.  No task is too difficult and no problem is too big to accomplish what you want to get done.  This is no time for couch lock, be cognizant of your smoke sessions.  This month brings a rare opportunity for productivity and ambition.  You don’t want to waste the blessings of the cosmos drooling and staring at the TV.  Stay heady and keep your head.

Warning:  The universe could punish you if you don’t take advantage of your gift.  If you keep your guns holstered in August and let the month slip by without action, you will find the universe will replace your inactivity with problems.

Be very careful with your personal relationships.  Your energy and efforts to get things done in August may intimidate some close to you.  If envy manifests itself in others around you, play it cool.  This feeling is their own, and it isn’t your responsibility to solve.  Avoid conflict, and allow others to work out their own problems.

Virgo July 2015

Virgo stoner, I know June was a struggle.  The cosmic forces were against you.  Unfortunately the struggle of June will continue into July.  But instead of the all encompassing waves of negativity, the universe is granting you a break in the clouds, and the sun will shine through.

A new light will shine in July regarding your business life!  The hangover from June will fade after the first week of July, and your energy will return.  Spark up a bowl of sativa, and get to work.  The middle of July should see significant opportunities with work and business.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst for change as you transition from the gloom of June into the sun of July.  Pay attention and take advantage of your opportunities.

As always in life, you have to take the good with the bad.  Unfortunately the hangover from June in your personal life will not lift as easy as your business life.  Be careful and gentle with your cannabis companions and lover.  You must balance the energy you feel in your work life with the challenges of your personal life.  You should use the sacred herb as a catalyst for work, whereas you should lean on the sacred herb for insight and coping in your personal life.  Noticing details are important to take advantage of opportunities at work, whereas they are critical to avoid damaging confrontations in your relationships.  Good luck, positivity!

Virgo June 2015

Virgo stoner, batten down the hatches!  Sound the alarms!  We are going down!  You will need to seal your ship well to survive the pressures of the negative depths June will push you to.  The Indica species of the sacred herb will be your friend in June.  Contemplative meditation is a requirement for you this month.

The golden rule of June:  Combust the sacred herb before dealing with a combustible situation.  The universe has given you a difficult month to deal with stoner Virgo, but you can get through without drowning as long as you keep your cool.  You MUST see yourself from a new perspective in June.  You MUST also take criticism from others with care and understanding.  This may not be easy for you, but defensive and confrontational behavior will only push you to further depths of negativity.

These warnings and rules apply to both your workplace and love life.  If you recognize the dangers and go into June with a plan, you will be able to survive without losing position or love.  The message of June isn’t just about conflict avoidance, it’s about empathy and understanding of those around you.  One of my favorite phrases is suited just for you this month stoner Virgo, “Breathe and let it be.”

Virgo May 2015

Virgo stoner, progress can be boring sometimes.  If I were to tell you that no significant events or forces would be in action in May, would that please or depress you?  Honesty and straightforwardness are ingrained in your psyche, so I will give it to you straight.  The world is what you make of it in May.

There are no overwhelming forces pushing or pulling you in one particular direction in May.  The universe is at a stand-still when it comes to your life.  This provides a wonderful opportunity if you are up to the challenge.  It’s time to unleash creativity and introspection.

Spark one up, and use the sacred herb as a catalyst for your adventure in May.  You must unleash your creative instincts and use your organizational skills to document and plan for the future.  If you don’t take action in May, the month will pass you by with no significant result.  Put time and thought into what interests you, and document your creative thoughts and ideas.  Do this for what is important to you, whether it be work, a relationship, or investments.  The universe has blessed you with a gift in May, but it requires your action and attention.

“When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.”  Bob Marley.  How often do you think about yourself and your position on Earth and in time?  May is the perfect month to take some time for yourself with the sacred herb and contemplate who you are.  

Virgo April 2015

Stoner Virgo, April is a period of time where your true nature will shine through without obstruction.  As you know, this can be good and bad as you have great qualities that are often contradicted by social struggles.  April brings a gift to the Virgo stoner.  This is the perfect time for introspection to work on the personality qualities you would like to improve while your main set of characteristics guide you through the month.  Spark one up stoner Virgo, the sacred herb has always been your friend for journeys inside yourself and can help guide you to great growth in April.

Work will be smooth and prosperous in April as long as you put your normal analytical focus into it.  You should lean on your skills of observance and make precision decisions in the workplace.  Trust yourself, you got this.

Your personal life is free from negativity in April.  This information does not mean to invite you to kick back and take it easy!  April is the perfect month for activity and bonding with friends and loved ones.  Avoid any depressants like liquor in April.  Seek the soul freeing guidance of the sacred herb, and find fun-loving adventure.  Take a hike with your family.  Go on that road trip with your best friend.  Take a trip to the beach.  Take your kids to the arcade.  There are so many things you have been thinking of doing with friends and family whether you are single, married, young, or old …. April is the time to make it happen.