The Stoner Gemini is a witty twin. Cosmic influences are subject to change with different cannabis strains chosen.

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Gemini December 2015

Stoner Gemini, December will be happy toking.  The stars are definitely favoring your romantic relationships and leisurely activities this month, but your professional life won’t be a total bag of dirt weed either.  You are starting to recover from the backlash the last couple of months have put on your career, and you’re finally able to grab the reins and take back control.  

Stay task oriented in the workplace, and pay attention to detail.  A small oversight could cause bigger problems than you may have anticipated.  Avoid the head fog and stick to your vaporizer until after work when you can finally let loose.  While you may feel like you’re “back in the groove” again, you have a lot of lost time to make up for and it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

The stars are (still) heavily influencing your love life. Continue to enjoy it while it lasts!  You might be surprised at the level of romantic encounters you have this month, or the intense spark that an already existing relationship may receive.  Your mind may be craving fun or adventurous activities.  As long as you aren’t skipping out on any responsibilities, give in to this desire every chance you get.  If you can, grab some buds and get out of town for the weekend, check out a concert, or maybe you’ll want to plan a date night at a place you’ve never been to before.  Make the most of this positive life stage you are experiencing and know that each day is the stepping stone to a better tomorrow.

Gemini November 2015

Stoner Gemini, I can’t say that November will be an easy month for you; so you must be able to take the good in with the bad, and have faith that things will work themselves out.  Since the planets have shifted against you, you will be subject to an abnormal amount of negative energies, but only you can ultimately control how they affect you.

Stay focused on the present, trying to improve what you currently have rather than starting anew.  Your career might not be continually progressing at the rapid rate you had hoped, or maybe you feel that what you are doing today doesn’t seem to be helping you reach future goals, or maybe you feel like you just can’t get anything right:  This is only temporary and the only way to get through it is to keep puffin’ along.  Like I said, here and now.  Don’t try to overcompensate by biting off more than you can chew.  Stay professional, take any criticisms with grace, and know that in good time, everything will fall into place.  Work will be the main source of stress this month, so consider some office yoga or mid-day meditation to help keep yourself centered.  I would also recommend keeping a sneak a toke handy for emergencies.

Continue to focus on yourself this month.  Your overall health will become very important to you during November, and understandably so.  When other parts of your life become chaotic, it’s only natural that you would look for control within yourself.  Whether you are changing your diet, exercising more, or meditating with help of the sacred herb; let the positive changes flow and manifest from the inside out.  

Libra October 2015

Stoner Gemini, like the seasons, your life is in a transition period.  September’s awkwardness will be followed by October’s feelings of instability.  During this time you’ll be feeling a little aloof.  The cosmos will be draining most of your energy, leaving you in mental couch-lock.  Keep fighting the good fight, and you will be rewarded with enough sporadic bursts of energetic life forces to be able to cut through the haze and accomplish what needs to be done.  Now before you start to panic about things that haven’t even happened yet, stop, take a hit and relax.  Remember that life is what you make of it.  A positive outlook and humor will go a long way, so try not to take yourself too seriously.

Take this month to reflect on your current life situation, the things you’re grateful for and the things you wish to change.  Like I said, you are entering a transition period.  Your goals, views, and desires will begin to shift as well, and you might start feeling complacency towards your life’s current status.  Try not to get too hung up on any one thought; just explore them.  As the month progresses, everything will become clearer.

For your own sake, I would highly recommend that you steer clear of any and all medibles, and toke lightly during the “work” day.  You don’t need any added brain fog.  However, feel free to let loose in your personal time.  Not only will it help relieve any stress you might be feeling, but with all that extra mind wandering you’ll be doing this month, I can’t think of any better way to help expand the conscious mind.

Gemini September 2015

Stoner Gemini, brace yourself this month.  September brings on an awkward period for you.   Neither your professional career, nor your personal life will be flying high.  The planets positive and negative emanations will be blocked out by each other, neutralizing most of their support or bad influences.  You’re not winning,  you’re not losing, you’re really just staying afloat.  But hey, don’t you worry!  As Bob says:  “Every little thing is going to be alright”.  Normally a Sativa strain is your best bet, but a nice Indica hybrid might help you mellow and find some inner peace.  

Try not to overcompensate for your lack of “achievements” by over exerting yourself.  I know this may be a hard concept for your attention-driven, go-getter attitude to grasp; but, excelling should not be a top priority for you.  After so many consistent months of kicking ass at your job, I think you’ve earned a break from your T-break.  Now I am not suggesting that you sit in a foggy haze of stale smoke for the next month.  I’m just saying it wouldn’t kill you to “smoke two joints before you smoke two joints”, if you are picking up what I’m laying down.

The one thing that you are probably aware of by this point, is that your non-existent love life has finally received a little planetary support these last few months.  It’s exciting, and you will finally be sure of what direction you want things to go.  However, your words and actions are not coming across as clear as you think.  Be mindful to the way you portray your feelings or you might be as deceitful as that huge wake and dab you’re never sure why you thought was a good idea.  Every success you have remains entirely in your hands this month. Only you can light that bowl, but don’t get carried away, or you’ll roast the whole thing.

Gemini August 2015

Stoner Gemini, the month of August will prove to be quite an interesting time for you.  The general sphere of things is looking bright and favorable for you.  Although the potential for negative influences is always present, you will receive an undeniable amount of support.  This support may come from rather unusual sources, who in most circumstances would be the source of your demise.  It’s like a world where medibles give you super strength instead of force you to become one with the couch.  Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?

You have continued to put forth your best efforts into your career, and it shows.  The never ending workload will continue (surprise, right?).  Have no fear, you have more than enough life energy to accomplish the tasks ahead of you.  You’re only flaw is trying to do too much as once.  This might be a time for you to reevaluate the actual importance of all of the projects you have scattered about like ashes in the wind.  Put your goals in focus and knock them down, one hit at a time.  I recommend a sativa hybrid to keep motivation going without letting your ideas wander too far away.

Gemini, get excited!  For the first month in, oh I don’t know… EVER…  The goddess of love is looking out for you.  Don’t be surprised if you meet a few potential love interests.  It’s okay to play the field and have a good time, but you also need to know when to admit that some of them might just be new smoking buddies rather than your one and only.  Honesty is the best policy.  Don’t avoid the truth for fear that you might hurt someone else.  The longer you allow it to continue, the more damage you will do not only to them, but yourself.

Gemini July 2015

Stoner Gemini, July will bring you many successes, positive energies, and a heightened sense of creativity will surge through you.  The only potential drawback for you this month will come from your personal relationships, although, with your natural wit and charm it is nothing you can’t handle.  Just remember you can’t appreciate the good without the negative.  A good Sativa strain will be your trusty ally this month.  The sacred Sativa strain will keep your motivation and creative juices flowing!  It will also act as a mood booster to deflect any negative energies trying to bring you down.

You are a force to be reckoned with in the workplace,Gemini!  Your creativity and ambition will guide you to many new projects and opportunities.  Your successes will seem to come effortlessly.  You’ll be “feeling good, feeling alright” about yourself and the direction of your life, which will result in optimal productivity.

It will be difficult to deal with any negative outside influences that may arise, whether it be from your lover, family, or friends.  This is especially difficult when you feel like you’re on Cloud 9.  You might feel as though they are trying to rain on your parade, resulting in anger and defensiveness.  My advice?  Smoke about it, forget about it.  That does not mean to be disrespectful and ignore the situation all together.  Rather, realize that at this time it would be best to revisit this issue at a later date, instead of feeding into it.  Don’t let petty arguments distract you from your goals

Gemini June 2015

May is your month to shine, Stoner Gemini.  The Universe is on your side, and is providing you with an incredibly positive time in your life.  You will experience a great energy shift, and you will be able to apply this to all aspects of your life, remaining unburdened by any serious issues or obstacles.

Your career will definitely benefit from the surge of energy coursing through you.  Your positivity and go-get-it attitude will be the direct source of your increased productivity.  There will be many new and exciting opportunities that are presenting themselves to you, but don’t think that they will effortlessly come to fruition.  You cannot expect results without putting in the work.  If you are in a “higher” up position, pay special attention to your colleagues.  Someone may have a secret agenda that you should know about.  Still working hard to get to the top?  Put all this energy to good use.  Put you work in overdrive.  Your hard efforts will be noticed and rewarded by the end of the month, which could potentially land you a promotion of sorts.  Remember, the level of your success is entirely up to you.  You have the herb and the papers, but nobody is going to roll that joint for you.

On the love front, May will bring you some interesting news (FINALLY!!).  While at the time it may seem irrelevant to you but, have no doubt, it will directly influence your life down the road.  If you are in a relationship, be extra attentive to your lover and display your feelings towards them more vividly.  With your friends, assume a neutral position.  Right now is not the time for silly feuds.  This month you have the ability to resolve any issues that may arise.  Your positive energies will be contagious.  Use your influencing powers to help spread love and happiness to all those who come into contact with you.  Bond with old and new friends with the help of the sacred herb whenever possible.  Just do more sharing than smoking.  Now is not the time to get in a couch-lock, you have important work to do!

Gemini May 2015

May will be a trying time for you, Stoner Gemini.  You are likely to have some difficult times ahead in all aspects of your life.  There will be many curve balls coming your way, but it’s nothing you can’t handle with grace.

It is likely that you will experience a moderately negative event in the workplace that throws your chakras slightly out of balance during the beginning of the month.  Do not worry about this too much, the outcome is not as monumentally life-altering as you think.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  Smoke about it, forget about it; just like everyone else already has.  Have the confidence to keep moving forward.  Be sure to pay close attention to details, especially when handling important tasks.  Life may seem a little gloomy for you,  but you actually stand to gain much more than you think right now.  Have a good grasp for where you stand, as well as the desires and intentions of your co-workers.

Your relationship with your partner may become one of irritability and disagreements.  Be open and flexible.  Do not try to force them to see things your way or you will find yourself in many useless arguments this month.  Sometimes things are out of your control and life can a rollercoaster, but you will always thrive in your group of friends.  Let yourself escape in good conversation and fun times.  You need to take it upon yourself to plan events for you and your friends to come together.  Even if it’s just a quick smoking session.  Don’t let your friendships get stagnant.  This will be your saving grace during May.

Gemini April 2015

Stoner Gemini, April will have it’s testing times, but the good will outweigh the bad in the end.  You win some, you lose some.   As usual, your career will continue to be your strongest suit, while your personal relations could suffer if you’re not careful.

Although you will continue to shine as the bright shining star you are, there is someone that you’ve suspected has been trying to bring you down for quite some time now.  You can’t keep ignoring the problem, and you may realize that there are too many “noncontributing” heads on this blunt.  Don’t let your natural instinct to not upset the heard conflict with what you know you have to do.  If you are confident and fair in your decision, you will not have any regrets.  If things take the path they are supposed to, a potentially life changing event could be in store for you at the end of the month.  For the entrepreneurial Gemini, it’s time to think about re-organizing, updating, and upgrading your environment.

It’s easy to get caught up in the smoky haze, but you need to be extra attentive to your partner this month.  When things are rocky, the lightest hit can make the whole thing come crashing down and the outcome could be quite devastating to certain parties.  Be calm, yet ready for anything.  If a problem arises, you will need to weigh out the pros and cons of any decisions that come about. Do not act impulsively,but, you don’t have much time to mull it over either.  I would recommend keeping a chillum in your car and take a puff or two before going home.  That way you will be relaxed and less likely to take out aggression and annoyances from work out on your partner.

Gemini March 2015

Stoner Gemini, the month of March will be an overall positive and productive time for you.  Despite the continuous hard work load, your energy levels will reach all new highs, allowing you to really put forth your best efforts.

All twins will continue to shine in the status of their careers.  You will feel an overwhelming amount of support, giving you the confidence to show your true colors and letting your work excel to new levels.  You may be asked to take important responsibilities, or maybe even a raise is in your near future.  If you own your own business, you may have a partner shed light on a new idea that could open the door for many great opportunities.  Do not be afraid to step out of the box, for there is no great reward without great risk.  If you can manage to stay organized and be mindful of your schedule, you will be able to drastically increase your productivity.  With all the hours you’ll be putting in this month, keep your favorite chillum on stand by for the occasional stress relieving toke.

For those of you that are single, your personal relationships might feel like they are at a standstill.  If you are currently seeing someone, you might feel slight tension between you and your partner, especially during the beginning of the month.  Recognize these tensions and excuse yourself from the situation to avoid getting sucked into pointless arguments.  Anything said or done in the heat of the moment should not be taken to heart.  Smoke about it, forget about it.  The Gemini might also feel a little “off” with friends, but don’t start writing anyone off.  Patience is key.  Although it may feel nice to be in control, sometimes you just have to take a back seat and let things play out the way they should.  Shake off the little things, and put your effort into the things that are working in your favor.