Earth Sign – The Sea Goat – December 22 – January 19

The stoner Capricorn is a difficult star sign to pin down within the smoke circle. The duality of the Sea Goat, portends to their shape shifting ways on the terrestrial plane. In a large smoke circle, the stoner Capricorn may seem stoic and reserved. But dim the lights with a few trusted cannabis companions, and the Sea Goat turns into a trouble making party animal.

Know thyself stoner Capricorn. What you need is a cannabis tool chest of strains. Sacred herbal remedies for unique situations. Perhaps you could grab a deep Indica strain for meditative moments of solitude or exercise; and keep the Sativa strains fresh for creative moments climbing the economic ladder, or nights out with the canna-crew.

Toke time for fun in between long stretches of hard work. Lead yourself as you lead others.

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Capricorn April 2016

Stoner Capricorn, the month of April begins an expansive period for your personal growth.  You made it through the rough winter, and you have basked in the glow of cosmic fortune.  You are now entering a period where the lessons of the past will benefit your current and future self.  The sacred herb can help you on this journey.  Meditative smoke sessions should be focused on internal self-confidence and belief.

The word “expansion” keeps coming to mind when I think of the cosmic gift presented to you in April stoner Capricorn.  This word can apply to so many things for you this month.  Expansion of the way you perceive yourself in the universe.  You are a powerful being.  This could be the first step towards influencing the environment around you more positively than you have ever contemplated.  Expansion of your business or job.  Now is the time to invest in yourself or your business.  Now is the time to vocalize your ideas and demonstrate leadership.  Perhaps a meditative session with an edible will help you visualize the expansion I am telling you about.  At the core, I am speaking about the expansion of how you see and love yourself.

Test yourself in April.  Be decisive and bold.  Stand behind your opinions and research.  Lead your cannabis companions and lovers.  Now is the time to break out of your shell and spread your beautiful wings.

Capricorn March 2016

Capricorn stoner, you have come a long way.  You have traveled through the scorching pain of the hot cosmic valleys and risen with much elation to the peaks of positive cosmic influences.  March may just wrap up your past year all in one month!  Life is all about perspective Capricorn stoner.  Dramatic situations can always be worse and better at the same time.  In march, life will become all about how you manage the dramatic events that have the potential of overwhelming you.  You know yourself better than anyone.  You must use the sacred herb as a tool in your life at this point.  Selection of the appropriate time and strength of indulgences will be key to riding the emotional waves of March.

Perspective and patience in the work place are vital in March.  The drama will find you, but you are in control of how you react and influence emotional events.  Keep a keen eye on your emotions when dealing with conflict.  Sometimes letting something sit to approach or tackle in the future is the best option versus meeting something head on with emotions of the moment.
Warning:  Don’t get swept up with your cannabis companions in March.  Keeping an even temperament with emotions is crucial to diffuse negative dramatic events, but this same philosophy must be employed to keep you from leaping into situations you might later regret.  Well, regret is a harsh term I don’t like to use, but we must keep a responsible head when our emotions want to take us into the clouds.

Capricorn February 2016

Stoner Capricorn, February brings an amazing opportunity.  The planets have aligned in such a way that the Stoner Capricorn will face no negative influences in February.  The only requirement to take advantage of this cosmic blessing is positive thinking and meditation.

Come with me stoner Capricorn as we imagine your place in the universe in February.  You are on a sailboat.  Behind you is the swirling black clouds of negative emanations from 2015.  You can see the beautiful white lightning strikes of your efforts to push through the storm with positivity.  Now here you rest gently in calm waters.  There is no warm cosmic wind to push you forward, nor a cosmic headwind to fight against.  In front of you is the horizon, a blank canvas that you can paint any image you want.

The sacred herb will take you to magical places in February stoner Capricorn.  Look out onto the horizon.  Where do you want to go?  Who do you want to spend time with?  Meditation and a positive attitude will allow you to paint and plan a wonderful vision of March.  The calm seas will only last for so long, stoner Capricorn, you have to take advantage of the soothing properties of the sacred herb and meditation in February.  Action will come in March.
The only challenge in February will come from your own mind stoner Capricorn.  Some may see lack of motion as stagnation.  Fighting the calm seas will get you nowhere.  Chill, you deserve a break from battle.  February is an opportunity to recharge your batteries and heal your soul.

Capricorn January 2016

Capricorn stoner, January will be a time for deep space travel.  You will lose contact with the cosmic winds that usually swing you from one planetary emotion to another.  You are going to travel to the dark side of the moon in January, and all cosmic communications will be lost.  You will withstand this dark period with the sacred herb as your guide and me as your faithful cannabis companion.

Do not read this horoscope as an ominous fortune.  Stoner Capricorn, you have an amazing opportunity in front of you.  When the seas are calm and the cosmic winds dissipate, you have a tremendous opportunity to travel deep inside yourself.  January will be the perfect time to focus on you, and your inner self.  Powerful sacred herbal edibles and a quiet house will combine to be your space vehicle as you travel to the depth of your own psyche on a mission of discovery and growth.  Grab your writing journal.  Every space adventure needs a mission log.

Be forewarned.  Do not try to accomplish larger goals within your work and personal life in January.  The harder you try to push forward the more risk you take for negative reactions.  Capricorn stoner, you must let go of the fight in January.  Everything will be just fine with a light hand of management.

End of transmission:  God’s speed

Capricorn December 2015

Stoner Capricorn, life has not been easy has it?  I thank you for continuing to read the Stoner Horoscope even though I keep giving you the bad news from the cosmos.  All of the hard work you have put in these past few months are finally starting to pay off.  All of those tough moments and obstacles you have endured can start to be cleared from your mental inventory.  December is a positive time for you stoner Capricorn!  Celebrate with the finest of green goodness, the stickiest of the kind, and the most enlightening of the sacred herb.  December is a period of wildly productive creativity and positive social impacts.

All of the tools you used to battle the searing cosmic wind the past few months will now propel you forward in this time of universal harmony.  Business and work may seem easy at times this month.  The stars have placed no obstacles in your way.  However, this period of low resistance may actually create your undoing.  Even though I envision a positive time for you, stoner Capricorn, you must not forget where you have come from.  All of those battles in the past few months will serve you well if you keep the fighting spirit.  Simple communication and attention will solve all of your problems, but laziness will bring back old foes.

Smoke a bowl and meditate on your inner self.  You are a beautiful person.  It’s time to bring your inner butterfly into the daylight.  This period of cosmic peace will allow you to put your imprint on your friends and family.  You have the power to bring happiness to others just by being you.

Capricorn November 2015

Stoner Ram this November you need to show your true self to the world.  You have a tendency to wear your less positive traits as a shell to protect yourself.  Unfortunately this month being detached, gloomy and self-centered will do you every injustice.  Call upon your sincere, self-controlled, ambitious and faithfully determined self to protect you.  Your honesty and integrity lie on the line.  Be true to yourself, follow your intuition and you will find that you make it out of November better than you first thought.  

The trials of the Winter Solstice will be varying degrees of frustrating for you in both your finance and personal life.  The golden rule is one you must apply to both areas.  Your friends need you.  Your co-workers need you.  Management needs you.  You need you.  Take care of you first:  Spend quality time meditating with the sacred herb.  This self introspection will allow you to also give to the others in your life that need your help during your own personal trials.  Everything you do now to help others will come back to you.  Karma is never a  bitch when you are doing the right thing.

What you need to remember when dealing with your many personal dilemmas this month:  You will not be alone so do not be afraid to ask for help.  Listen to others this month but act of your own accord and you will see why this is all happening soon.  Do not overindulge in anything.  Lastly be sure to lean on the sacred herb when making your decisions.  Stoner Capricorn you can get through this and you will find December to be much more rewarding.  

Capricorn October 2015

Stoner Capricorn, I am going to keep your October horoscope brief this month.  The skies surrounding the stoner Capricorn for October are cloudy and the direct point of action is ambiguous.  I do not want to confuse your emotions of direction with random guesses and hyperbole.

The sacred herb should not be used to cope in October stoner Capricorn.  Avoid any Indica that will tune the world out.  Stick to the Sativa strains for more impact on energy and concentration.

October is all about the two E‘s and two C‘s.

Energy & Effort:  With cloudy skies blocking the vision of what’s in front of you for October, you will need energy and effort to combat or take advantage of any sudden solar winds in your direction.  You must take care and attention in your workplace or business in October with Energy and Effort.

Care & Consideration:  I cannot tell you about any impending triumphs or pitfalls coming in October.  To combat the ambiguity, you must take Care and Consideration with your loved ones.  Keep your eyes and heart vigilant to spot the needs of people around you.
When you are driving through foggy weather, you must be vigilant and cautious.  Good luck stoner Capricorn.  I will continue to look out for you daily.

Capricorn September 2015

Capricorn stoner, negative solar headwinds will continue to obstruct your pursuit of happiness in September.  Last month was a tough month because of previous decisions and actions that you had made.  Problems came at you like glass shards from a broken pipe.  The source of September’s negativity is not your fault.  The fault is in the stars my smoking goat, and there is nothing you can do about it, especially blame yourself.

Unfortunately, “negative solar headwinds” paints a warm and light picture for your September journey.  September will be more like walking through a field of landmines.  You cannot do anything to avoid this field, and you must walk through it.  This will be a bleak and challenging time for the stoner Capricorn.  There is one defensive weapon that you possess that will help you make it through the celestial land mines of September, strength.

You can make it through this month unscathed by harnessing all of your strength.  The sacred herb will be like a shield for the Capricorn.  Prepare yourself with spiritual meditation.  All of your strength will be required to take the hits from the land mines.  Strength in emotions, physical stamina, and mental acuity must be built up and harnessed to make it through September.

I don’t like delivering these warnings to you stoner Capricorn.  Challenging periods like this will help you appreciate the periods of free flowing positivity.  Be strong my fellow cannabis companion.  

Capricorn August 2015

Stoner Capricorn, the cosmos has sent you a complicated puzzle in August.  Unfortunately this puzzle is not a blessing, but instead a culmination of previous frustrations and past anxieties.  You will be presented with puzzle pieces in August that you must solve to move forward.  Each one has its true position within your world sphere and relationships.  The sacred herb must be utilized to meditate and solve these conundrums, not to avoid and deflect responsibility.

The puzzle of August has more to do with your personal life than work or business.  Because your energy and concentration will be focused on solving this complex problem in your head, you need to grind and power through your work life.  August is not the month to take chances or stand out of line in the workplace.

With proper meditation and contemplation, you will see the cosmic puzzle laid out in front of you.  The key to understanding the purpose and universal structure of the puzzle is to know that it’s all within you.  You have created problems and complications in the past that will reveal themselves in August.  Stoner Capricorn, you have put these problems on layaway in the past.  The universe is calling your debt due.  The sacred herb should be utilized with precision in August.  Absolutely do not lean on smoke sessions for coping.  You must utilize the sacred herb to travel within yourself for better understanding.  This will  be one heavy trip for you my friend.

Capricorn July 2015

Stoner Capricorn you are a powerful being!  Let’s look at July like a long distance race.  You are strong and you can win the race, but only at a steady pace throughout the month.  All challenges and problems can be solved with a steady stride and consistent perseverance.  Puff, puff, pass the joint.  Feel the energy of the sacred herb and the fellowship of your cannabis companions.  Go with the flow and July will be your month of enjoyment and happiness.

In your workplace or business, the message of a steady pace is very important.  Do not try to do too much or take on a large project that is unrealistic to complete.  Avoid confrontations with co-workers who are out to sabotage your success.  Run your business or your job like that race we discussed with a steady pace.  A good pace allows you to see the details around you and solve problems with a cool hand.

In matters of the heart a steady pace throughout the month will allow you to shrug off any anxieties that you feel in relationships, and it will help you avoid running too fast into a situation that could hurt you.  Relax and meditate, you got this.  Feel confident that July will bring exceptional moments, but only when you avoid jumping into conflict and apply reasonable expectations on your situation.