Cancer

Water Sign – The Crab – June 21 – July 22

Stoner Cancers are exactly like their symbol the crab: A hard outer shell protects a soft inner soul. These protective creatures find themselves puff puff passing amongst close cannabis companions more so than large smoke circles. But their favorite smoke spot is a soft warm private sanctuary.

The well balanced nature of the stoner Cancer leaves all sacred strain possibilities wide open. However, the stoner crab has a higher proclivity for food and baked treats. A deep dive with an edible in comfortable space is heaven to the stoner Cancer.

These stoner crabs are also more likely to find connectivity with their third eye through meditative smoke sessions. The mystical magic of the sacred herb can be honed and amplified by this stoner star sign.

Want a notification each month? Check out the podcast version of the horoscope!
iTunes
Google Play

Cancer Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Cancer you spent the last month moving at a mile a minute, soaking up the sun, and finding the sweetest smoke spots.  While you should keep blazing trails, and continue your stoney adventures, August should also be a time to take pause.  Toke time to reflect on where you’ve been, so you can look forward to where you want to go.  In other words my lovely stoner Crab:  Make sure you set aside time to stop to smell, and smoke, the flowers.  You don’t have to be a master of meditation, just light one up, mellow out, and connect with your inner self.  You may be happy with what you find stoner Cancer.  But, these short, yet frequent, moments of introspection can help you keep your chakras aligned, and deepen your Zen state of mind.  The greater your bliss, the better you will be able to share your positive vibrations with your stoner family.

You have accrued substantial karma points with your work performance so far in 2020.  Although it wasn’t always easy, your persistence, and dedication has meant successful outcomes in all of your endeavors.  Stoner Cancer now it is time to cash in on your hard work and investment.  While you can thank the sacred herb for helping you rise above, you only have yourself to thank for moving higher up the ranks in the workplace.  You might finally get the position you have been working towards, or maybe it’s time to completely change your surroundings with a new company.  However you decide to switch it up, you will find yourself in a better position to showcase your abilities, and can expect more green on payday.  

Stoner Cancer, do you believe in a thing called love?  You should!  Whether it’s your lifelong partner-in-chronic, smoke circle friends, the canna-fam, or your newest cannasseur compatriot, good vibes and kind buds will be the common thread that ties you all together.  It’s summer after all; temperatures and spirits are only going to get higher.  Bumps and bruised feelings are always a possibility, but with a little help from your favorite strain, and the peace pipe, any obstacle can be overcome.  With everyone floating along on a happier, higher frequency, you can get back to what really matters:  Spending time tokin’, talkin’, and puff puff passing the smoke-filled summer days.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope July

Summer is in full swing stoner Cancer.  Amidst all the sweltering and sultry sunny days, remember you are writing your own story.  You are the author of your own adventures, but you should prepare for fellow celestial stoners to join you on your cosmic escapades.  During July, you will have full confidence, and faith, of those in your herbal-infused orbit.  The only person you will have to worry about disappointing is yourself my lovely stoner Crab.  However, this should be of little concern as long as you stay moving onward and upward.  Summer is the ideal time for seeking secluded smoke spots, or hitting the road with a full stash, and no particular destination in mind.

Stoner Cancer, it may be enticing to put off the mounting to-do list, but remember, the tasks won’t take care of themselves.  Tackle the big projects early in the month.  While the pipe might be calling, it will be best to address current issues with a clear mind.  It may seem tedious during the initial phases, but by getting a couple projects out of the way, there will be more time outside of the office to toke up, and pursue more herbally enhanced undertakings.  Persistence is the key stoner Cancer.  As long as you put in the time on the clock, you will make way for next level adventures with your partners in chronic.

The endo-excursions of summer may be vast and endless stoner Cancer, but your smoke circle should be kept to those you know.  While sharing kindness and kind buds is usually a positive act, it will be important to learn the intentions of smoke circle acquaintances before inviting them into your canna-crew.  The best advice for the month of July:  Stay confident stoner Cancer.  Once you know who is down to ride, you’ll know who is down to roll one up.  As long as you spend the Summer season with your favorite strains, and your favorite stoners, July will unfold as a most unforgettable month.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope June

Those who are fortunate enough to smoke with the stoner Cancer, know the chronic-loving crab always has the best buds.  And often there is an unspoken understanding that they will help when it is time to light up the sacred herb.  While some might find this unsolicited expectation annoying, you embrace the puff puff pass mantra wholeheartedly:  Knowing that sharing truly is caring, and a dank reward unto itself.  But remember there is a fine line between generosity and naivety.  Impolite overreach within the cann-crew is not always meant maliciously.  They can’t help but want to be in your smoke circle.  In June, the planets are not the only things that have aligned in your favor. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working stoner Cancer.  Maybe it’s all those meditative smoke sessions, but you have found your groove, and those around you have noticed.  Your aura is radiating, and your fellow stoner star signs cannot help but be attracted to your vibrant and positive vibes.  

In the realm of work you are in it to win it stoner Cancer!  Your creative approach to tough challenges will bring to completion projects well past their due dates.  You may get peculiar looks from your skeptical peers when you first present your plans, but let the results speak for themselves.  It won’t take long for your coworkers to realize your ideas are anything but half-baked.  Know that your unconventional, yet imaginative tactics are not in endless in supply.  You can refresh and rejuvenate your mental muscles with consistent smoke sessions.  Off the clock of course!  

Stoner Cancer, be strategic when selecting your cannabis strains this month.  A THC dominant hybrid is recommended. The THC will help to spark and inspire creative cerebral activity, while the CBD will keep you grounded and centered.  By making sure neither is too high, you will be able to keep motivated without getting distracted, and stay relaxed without getting stuck on the couch.  Success will be directly correlated to your ability to achieve this balance.  

Whether it’s a freshly crafted joint, or hitting the open road to a secluded smoke spot, friends and lovers alike know you’re always down to roll.  And this summer will be filled with adventures of both kinds stoner Cancer!  While the seasons change, one thing that will remain constant are these good vibes between you and your cannabis companions.  With no foreseeable clouds hanging over personal relationships, all that will be left to do is to grab the snacks, the camera, and the stoner fam to start blazing those stoney trails!

Cancer Stoner Horoscope May

Stoner Cancer it is said that April showers bring May flowers.  Sometimes wading through the gloom is necessary to get to brighter skies; but it can be difficult to see the sunny days that await on the other side.  Hang in there my lovely stoner Crab!  The rainy start to your month will soon transition into a time of lasting radiance.  Stop, and smell the flowers stoner Cancer.  Smoke the flowers, and keep those good greens well stocked.  Those who look for greener grasses will find them in your stash jars.  Be on the lookout for those who may similarly be looking under the weather.  Because you were once there, you will be uniquely positioned to uplift those who may be feeling down, and think they should lie low.  With your charisma, and a little herbal inspiration, you can be the chronic catalyst needed to get everyone feeling in higher spirits.

Work life will start much the same:  A notably slow start, especially in the first week.  But it will heat up throughout the month, until you achieve and maintain a substantial and steady burn.  This will only be achieved if you allow yourself to let go of outdated methods, and possibly take a couple losses on past passion projects.  Instead of dwelling on what didn’t turn out the way you had imagined, use these setbacks as teachable moments.  Identify what worked, and what didn’t.  Spring is a time of rebirth, and recreation stoner Cancer.  Time spent recreating with the sacred herb at home can also be time for self reflection.  These medicated meditative smoke sessions will provide the opportunity for seeing old problems in new ways.  Channel your inner smoker.  If you had an eighth of that kind bud, and no way to smoke it, what would you do?  You would figure it out my creative Crab!  It is this kind of creativity which will turn a slow starting month into a series of successful endeavors.

The theme of change will be no less when it comes to interpersonal relationships.  But, just because things are new, does not mean they will be negative.  Open yourself to external influences.  You may be the one supplying the positive vibrations, but if you allow others to channel them, the sky is truly the limit for what you can achieve together.  Create sweet hazy clouds together stoner Cancer.  Stay happy together.  Summer will be here soon enough.  You, and your cannabis companions, will be ready and waiting on cloud nine when it does.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope April

Stoner Cancer the weight of cosmic waves of influence may have you feeling sluggish and stagnate lately.  But, you can expect a new spring in your step as the days grow longer, and brighter skies appear on the horizon.  Of course, you can help yourself by getting back to the basics. Stick to strains that will promote energy, and an elevated mood.  Super Silver Haze, some Sour Tangie, or the ever classic Lamb’s Bread can all assist in rejuvenating the spirit as you rediscover your groove.  Outlook is not the only thing that will improve by finding the best green for your needs. Overall creativity and increased problem solving skills are welcomed changes expected early in April, and will only increase as you progress through the month.  

Be forewarned stoner Cancer:  On your journey to greater heights, be on the lookout for those who want to bring you down.  This is especially true in the workplace. There is no use wasting time trying to change a critic’s opinion. Instead, team up with peers who are focused on getting the job done.  Focus on producing measurable results. Do not waste energy on those throwing shade on others’ successes. In short, be yourself stoner Cancer. Whether it’s your coworkers or members of the smoke squad, don’t waste time listening to the naysayers. If someone doesn’t like you for you, it might be time to find new people for your canna-crew. Sharing is caring when it comes to the green stuff, not unwanted negative opinions! 

Stoner Cancer one realm where you will have nothing to fear is on the homefront.  You’re safe there. While we are not quite to the summer of love, things are heating up!  Both romantic and platonic relationships will expand, evolve, and deepen. As the trees blossom, connections with your closest buds will grow, flourish, and become stronger than ever.  Please remember, just like cultivating the greenest gardens, maintaining healthy relationships takes work. Unlike the workplace, compromise will be key to keeping close ties with your cannabis companions. Keep communication a two-way street stoner Cancer. If tensions do develop, there is always the great equalizer in the peace pipe.  There are few issues that can’t be resolved by sharing a bowl, talking it out, and trying to see the other person’s point of view. As long as you are willing to meet in the middle, you will always have those who are ready to roll one up and down to ride.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Cancer March could be seen as walking on a bed of hot coals.  Scary, with the potential for danger, but rewarding and empowering after completion.  The planetary forecast this month is cloudy with a chance of sunshine. A bit rainy at work with a high probability of sun breaks at home.

Know thyself stoner Cancer.  Toke time this month for meditative smoke sessions focused on how your stellar star sign traits reflect out into the world.  Looking in the mirror can be difficult, but great terrestrial knowledge could be looking back at you. Holding feelings close to the vest could be perceived as cold hearted.  Your perception of privacy within professionalism can be perceived as cold and insensitive. Avoid defensive reactions, and understand the perspective of others. You don’t have to break with your perception of privacy within professionalism to communicate more within the work sphere.  You don’t have to change who you are, but understanding how you come off is crucial. Often, clear communication can solve problems with perceptions.

All this third eye vision focused on self reflection to fight negativity in the workplace fits perfectly into the planetary positioning of personal influence.  Deep dives into the reflection in the mirror should be coupled with concerted moments of self care in March. Thus, these medicated moments all lead to an opportunity for self improvement, and a mental health breakthrough.  Meditative smoke sessions in March will lead to self repair and self care. Within your quest to see how you are perceived by your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts there will be Easter eggs of enlightenment on your path toward better emotional and physical well being.  Supplement the solo smoke sessions with a regiment of CBD medibles. Analytical staring in the mirror can bring anxiety to the surface. The CBD regiment will assist dampening the negative effects of these deep dives into self.  

The full Moon on the 9th is an important date.  The cosmic influence of March will shine brightest on this date.  This will be the perfect time for that deep medicated solo dive into self.  Looking into the mirror to analyze your reflection can be scary, like that hot bed of coals; but after your journey is complete, the rich rewards will propel you toward emotional progress.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to improve your connection to smoke circle canna-buddies and coworkers. You are so brave my stoner Crab, you can do it!

Cancer Stoner Horoscope February

Whoa stoner Cancer, the New Year got off to a smokin start.  In January the pressures of a cosmic existence shaped you into a dank frosty nug.  In February the pressure will ease, but important terrestrial foundations will start to form under the surface.

Most of the beautiful images we see of lush green cannabis gardens come at the peak of cultivation.  What is not seen is all the hard work, nurturing, and effort put into our little sacred ladies. That magic garden all starts from a simple seed, and a lot of love.  February will be a time to plant the seeds of success for future harvest in 2020.

Unleash your creativity stoner Cancer.  The Chemdog strain of the sacred herb will assist meditative smoke sessions to delve deep into self, and bring out those cosmic seeds of inspiration.  Toke time throughout the month to connect the inner self with your outward direction. Now is the time to discover where it is you want to be when your garden grows.

This is also the time to build solid habits.  You are going to be a fountain of ideas. If you don’t record them, how are they going to sprout into saplings of progress?  It’s time to start an idea journal stoner Cancer. For each person this will come in different forms, but the action to memorialize these sparks of creativity is what is necessary.  What may seem far-fetched at the moment might be the missing piece for progress in future periods. Keep it. Hold on to it. Build on it.

A special date for you this month is the 23rd.  This marks a New Moon. Seek comfort and companionship with your smoke circle and close cannabis companions.  Roast celebratory bowls to feed and celebrate friendship. Perhaps this ganja gathering will provide the nutrients to grow your grand ideas into a garden of accomplishment.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope January

Quick!  Stoner Cancer, prepare yourself!  Puff puff pass on the stress early in the month.  Pressure of the economic grind will weigh you down early in January.  The weight will not be crushing, but the potential to frazzle your nerves will be high.  Seek the calming nature of the sacred herb to soothe the nerves, and see through the stress as a momentary blip within the grand cosmic design.

Once you make it through the rough start, the stress from the workplace will be counterbalanced with personal enlightenment.  Whoa dude, lots of heavy notes in this cannabis vision. All of these things correlate to each-other. Think of the pressure packed beginning to the month like gears loosening within the cosmic machine.  These same types of gears will loosen for you personally also. So the cosmic influence that creates pressure and stress in one factor of life, could also cause enlightenment and progress in another. Contemplate that over a joint!

If you need a bottom line to the cosmic confusion, it would be this:  Whether you are ready or not, you will be traveling a great distance in January.  Both positives and negatives come from such a heady excursion. Remember you are not on this terrestrial plane alone.  Cannabis companions are there to give you comfort and fellowship. Over a shared bowl you might find they are dealing with their own chaotic cosmic moments as well.  With cannabis communion, we are stronger together. 

Stoner Cancer the beginning of the year will be a fluid situation.   You may feel different vibes from the universe, depending on what gear has been loosened in life.  Approach the period with flexibility in your sacred strain selection. I would recommend keeping a cannabis tool kit of sorts to deal with the roller coaster of emotions.  Sativa strains for those breakthrough manic moments when you are ready to take on ambitious tasks. Indica strains for those moments when you need to take a break to view the pressure packed moments from an alternate perspective.  Perhaps a high CBD strain to recover from the weight of pressure, or the flight of ambition. With contemplative thought applied to your sacred herbal assistant, you should travel through all situations safely. Godspeed stoner Cancer.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope December

Stoner Cancer as we transition from 2019 into the great unknown of the year to come, one thing is certain:  You are going to be noticed. While the days grow darker more quickly, your glowing aura will be impossible to miss. This means you can expect great growth in interpersonal relationships, both platonic and romantic. New relationships can grow quickly, from the smallest seedling of attraction, to fully blossoming love, and all the stages in between.  If you are not prepared for this bountiful endowment of affection, you may find yourself feeling a bit out of your depth. Remember, knowing is half the battle stoner Cancer. You may not know what romances are around the corner, but you know best what you need to maintain your spiritual equilibrium. Before you pursue potential partners in chronic, or a cannabis companion finds you, be sure to find your own center.  As long as you ground yourself firmly, and let your roots grow deep, you will be ready to weather whatever the cosmos brings.

Work life will be demanding stoner Cancer.  This increase in demand will not be daunting, but rather many parties will beckon and compete for your attention. This does not mean every twinkling eye or simple smile is secretly seductive. There is an acknowledgement of your consistent work ethic, and a desire to get your constructive opinion.  You can use this close proximity to your advantage: Make your ideas heard! If you are fortunate enough to have an occupation where you get to puff, puff, puff towards progress with your coworkers, then be sure to capitalize on such an opportunity. Creative smoke sessions can result in next level thinking, and endo-expansive ideas.  While some say the sky’s the limit, it is advised for the crew to revisit all high minded ideas during more grounded mindsets. If the plan still sounds solid under these alternative circumstances, then green lights are a go.

Although you are approaching the end of this particular year, toke time contemplating the importance of returning to the beginning.  It is not intended to expand the ego, stoner Cancer, but ultimately, it all starts with you. You will have many opportunities for social interactions; a plethora is by no means an exaggeration.  So, it will be up to you to decide when you need to seek out social smoke sessions with your tokin’ partners in chronic, and when it is time to seclude yourself away for solo, meditative smoke sessions.  Both will be required to finish the year off right, but it is up to you to decide which is needed and when.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope November

It’s a new moon, stoner Cancer, and November brings all the promise of a new you! The trees are losing the last of their leaves, and this period offers you the same opportunity of shedding old tendencies to make way for new beginnings. The thought of change might at first sound scary; but keep calm and toke on, stoner Cancer. Don’t stress out! Not everything needs to happen all at once. The beauty is you get to set the pace. As long as you light the fire of progress in the early weeks, you will be able to maintain a slow and steady burn throughout the remainder of the month. Remember, a thriving garden does not manifest overnight. Plant the seed of influence: With patience and persistence you will ultimately end up with a beautiful and bountiful harvest.

My lovely Crab, it’s not that struggles and troubles will be less in number or intensity this month. In the spirit of new beginnings, a fresh and novel perspective can make all the difference. November is an ideal time to branch out and try new greens, especially Sativa dominant strains. You are working to expand your horizons, and the creativity invoking properties of sweet, sticky Sativas can help to elevate your consciousness to higher levels. During this expansive exploration, don’t neglect your mental health. You will know best, but seek out the settings that you need to keep the good vibes going. When you’re feeling low, gather the cannabis crew to spark one up and get lifted. If you feel like you’re moving too fast, toke time for self with a medicated meditative solo smoke session.

Day to day you may find yourself wondering what’s missing. A better way to frame it is this: What’s the long game stoner Cancer? You may not necessarily feel stuck, but are you where you want to be? To get to great rewards, we at times have to take on some risk. Get out of your comfort zone, but be deliberate in how you proceed. Now is a time to reflect on how you allocate your resources. This means your monetary finances, yes, but also your human resources. You wouldn’t want to blow through the bank account, anymore than you should burn through the whole stash jar in one smoke session. Similarly, you should be strategic as to how, and who you invest your energy. It may take more than sacred cannabis consultations to figure out a balanced budget. Sometime during the month, you will have to put down the pipe to pick up the pen and paper. Just know that once you have leveled out the ledger, you will be free to light one up and rest a little easier.