Cancer

Water Sign – The Crab – June 21 – July 22

Stoner Cancers are exactly like their symbol the crab: A hard outer shell protects a soft inner soul. These protective creatures find themselves puff puff passing amongst close cannabis companions more so than large smoke circles. But their favorite smoke spot is a soft warm private sanctuary.

The well balanced nature of the stoner Cancer leaves all sacred strain possibilities wide open. However, the stoner crab has a higher proclivity for food and baked treats. A deep dive with an edible in comfortable space is heaven to the stoner Cancer.

These stoner crabs are also more likely to find connectivity with their third eye through meditative smoke sessions. The mystical magic of the sacred herb can be honed and amplified by this stoner star sign.

Want a notification each month? Check out the podcast version of the horoscope!
iTunes
Google Play

Cancer Stoner Horoscope September

Stoner Cancer, if there is one thing you can count on in September, it’s that plans are always subject to change. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to look ahead, just don’t stress too much when you have to alter course, or take a different route, to reach your destination.

These detours, which at first might feel like setbacks or delays, could end up being a stellar blessing in disguise as you are forced to take the longer, but more scenic route. Enjoy the ride stoner Cancer! 

Summer might be coming to a close, but your cosmic endo-excursions show no signs of slowing down.

My chronic-loving Crab, prepare yourself for increased sensitivity to the energy of others.  Both positive and negative vibrations will be felt more acutely throughout the month. You will be torn between helping those nearest you to fix the issues they face, and escaping to secluded smoke spots to enjoy your bowls by yourself, far away from everyone else’s drama.

The secret to keeping the peace during this time of potential emotional tensions will be clear communication; and of course keeping the peace pipe packed and ready to deliver the calming vapors of cannabis. 

Much of the tension that may arise will be the result of simple misunderstandings, or words taken out of context. A little time spent meditating with the sacred herb can have a big impact when it comes to preparing for tough talks. 

Pausing to puff, and find your own center, can help you avoid passing on your own negative vibrations. You want to project the image of being the ever-caring stoner Cancer, not the always-cranky Crab. So make sure you are calm and clear headed before speaking up.

But, remember stoner Cancer, it’s not your mission to point out others’ shortcomings.  There are more constructive uses of your time and energy. It isn’t always easy, but the best way to lift up others is by first being firmly grounded yourself. 

Toward the later days of the month, turn your critical gaze inward, my chronic-loving crustacean. Light one up, and truly see yourself in the mirror.  If you like what you see, then September will be a time to stay calm and toke on. But, if there are things you want to change, then Autumn will be the ideal backdrop for elevated transformation.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Cancer, you are known for being the most cautious and calculating of all the stoner Zodiac; usually you prefer to take the tried-and-true path over the road less traveled. But, this month the chronic-loving Crab will have the chance to get in touch with their more spontaneous side. 

This doesn’t mean you should let all of your inhibitions go up in smoke, but you can allow yourself license to listen when you hear adventure calling.

Go ahead stoner Cancer, indulge in eating that extra edible, spend a little more to get the new piece you REALLY want, or treat yourself to an ounce of your favorite top-shelf nugs.  You’ve earned it! 

And it doesn’t all have to be cannabis related, my methodical Crab. Now is the season to shake up the status quo. Dye your hair a far-out color, or try the new hairstyle you’ve been wanting, but weren’t sure you could pull off.  If you’re feeling that your wardrobe is worn out, now is the time to refresh your threads and let your outer style reflect your hidden inner spunk!

Stoner Cancer, keep in mind that transformation is just a possibility, not a requirement during this period. If you want to completely reimagine how you present yourself to your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts, then light one up to spark your imagination and let the metamorphosis begin!

But, you can also embrace smaller, more subtle changes:  Like getting rid of bad habits that might be slowing you down at work, or starting a new workout routine and focusing more on your health.

Just remember that most things are best in moderation stoner Cancer. While there are a seemingly infinite number of new strains to sample, and endless endo-excursions to embark upon, it will be important for you to keep your calculating gaze on the other kind of green:  Your finances.

Stoner Cancer, this means you will have to meditate and reflect on the difference between what it is that you WANT, and what you actually NEED. Toke time to contemplate the cost benefit analysis.  Whether it’s shopping for your new style, or taking off with the canna-fam on one of your many Summer smoke sessions.  

You don’t want to burn through your savings, or your stash, before the sunny season is over.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope July

Stoner Cancer, as you move through the warm tides of the season, all eyes will be on you! While you are a moon child, the Summer sun will illuminate your energetic aura, and make you shine even brighter. 

Cannabis hybrid strains should be your go-to green gas as you speed through July.  These balanced buds will keep you grounded while your spirit and confidence are lifted.  This canna-combination should help keep your mood optimistic and positive.  

Show your fellow stoner Zodiac you can stay high and stay humble.

You are feeling good stoner Cancer!  Help those around you to feel their stoniest selves.  But, your desire to lift the spirits of those around you can leave you vulnerable to negative wavelengths. 

Smokin Js online headshop now accepts Bitcoin and Ethereum.

Be mindful of who you share the pipe with during the second Summer month my social Crab.  You are always ready to match bowls, but you also need to be ready to skip the smoke session when what someone is puff puff passing is their bad vibes.

Stoner Cancer, remember that you are the one in control of who you allow into your orbit. Whether it’s for a big, busy project at work, or the chillest weekend smoke sesh, be selective in who you choose to team up with this month. Everyone deserves to be a part of a crew, but they don’t all have to be a part of yours.

It doesn’t take much to make the chronic-loving Crab smile.  Soaking up a Summer sunset smoking kind buds with a few close cannabis companions usually does the trick.  But, there are new destinations and experiences awaiting the stoner Cancer who feels extra adventurous this Summer. 

The cosmic weather forecast for July is calm winds and gentle influence.  This means you can make this month as wild or as restful as you wish stoner Cancer.  Although spontaneity is not usually a trait attributed to the traditionally cautious and intentional Crab, you might surprise yourself by how far your terrestrial travels take you.

Just know stoner Cancer, that sometimes it is okay to see the nug jar half empty.  It is better to burn through your stash with the partners-in-chronic while discovering new and exotic smoke spot locations, than to be stuck at home with plenty of good green, but no one to smoke it with.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope June

Stoner Cancer sweet Summer is finally here.  While you watch your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts pack their sunscreen, sticky green, and plenty of stoner-approved snacks, ready to hit their favorite outdoor smoke spot, you might find yourself feeling like your couch is a more appealing destination. My resilient Crab, it’s been a wild ride the past few weeks…month…year. It’s understandable if you’d rather keep it low key, and close to home while you wait for the cosmic winds to calm. You may not travel very far, but with the sacred herb as your guide, June will be a time for spiritual exploration! 

Stoner Cancer, if work requires you to collaborate on any projects this month, be sure to keep the group limited to those who are crucial to getting the job done. You’re not the only one who is feeling a bit off balance.  Your peers may also be working through their own unseen cosmic turmoil. And if you get too many hazy brains together, you increase the likelihood for miscommunication, and potentially hurt feelings. You can avoid unwanted conflict by making sure you express your ideas as clearly, and concisely, as possible. Now is not the time for half-baked suggestions, but for well thought out plans ready to be implemented. For the first couple weeks of the month you should put the pipe down, at least while you’re on the clock. In other words, keep your buds and business separate stoner Cancer. Of course, at home you can toke all the time you want to relax and recreate with your favorite strains; but during the nine-to-five, your team will need you fresh, focused, and ready to grind.

Stoner Cancer it can be nice to reminisce; to reflect on the highs & lows, and all of the grade-A ganja from days gone by. Just be cautious you don’t spend too long scrolling through your old pictures, or you will risk missing out on all the new photo ops, and adventures ahead! While you might start out the month feeling like a lethargic homebody, by the final days of June, you will once again get your Crabby groove back. During this time, you should try to avoid those in your canna-crew that you feel are putting off negative vibrations. It’s not that you can’t empathize when someone is having a tough time, but negativity can be caught like a cold.  

Cancer Stoner Horoscope May

Stoner Cancer it is no secret that you often wear your heart on your sleeve. This will be all the more true for the month of May. The cosmos can’t decide what they have in store for you, so you should prepare yourself for a potentially wild and emotional ride; one of exhilarating highs, and exhausting lows. While this might sound daunting at first, remember stoner Cancer that you are the captain of your own cosmic spaceship!  With your keen third-eye sight, and with cannabis as your copilot, you can navigate your way through the cloudiest and most challenging of circumstances. 

Stoner Cancer, career life will be no less stimulating, and equally full of surprises. There may be deadlines that get moved up, or unexpected obstacles which may require next level troubleshooting. With everyone working under increased pressure, it can be easy to point the finger at peers and coworkers when emotions run high. While some might see sensitivity as a weakness, it is precisely your expansive emotional intellect that will help keep the peace in the workplace during this tumultuous time. If things get too heated, take a bake-break stoner Cancer. Instead of grinding your teeth in annoyance at each other, maybe you and the crew grind some sacred buds and toke a different approach. Breathe in the soothing vapors of the sacred herb, and exhale the underlying tension. Then spend the weekend hitting the pipe, and ultimately the reset button. Once everyone is feeling calmer and more refreshed, everyone should start off the week with clearer minds and higher spirits. 

At the beginning of the month, with uncertainty being the only guarantee, you may be tempted to hit the open road to avoid the cosmic chaos. Go ahead my curious Crab and give into your wanderlust! Escape away to your favorite secret smoke spot, or hit the road in search of new ones. Enjoy an adventure to a new destination where nobody knows your name; a spot where  you can be free to laugh, to cry, and to be your quirky sensitive self. Towards the end of the month, after you’ve traveled the wider world, it is best to keep your wanderings closer to home. Spend a little time with your favorite cannabis-loving companions, smoking bowls and sharing stories about your endo-excursions. Relax and refill the reserves stoner Cancer.  Summer will be here before you know it, and there will be no slowing down once the season is in full blaze.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope April

Stoner Cancer it’s only April, but already you’ve accomplished more than some people can hope to achieve in an entire year. While there is always more to be done, a higher level to be reached, or promotion to be earned, it is also important to take time to reflect upon and celebrate your successes. What’s the point of grinding as hard as you do if you don’t enjoy the rewards. With spring in full swing, and the days heating up, it’s time to get outdoors; to take in the greenery blossoming all around, and toke up the greens in your pipe. Stoner Cancer, if you are simply feeling too energized, and don’t think you can slow your roll, then at least switch paths, and take the scenic route. 

You are not one who usually craves attention in the workplace my incorrigible Crab. Most days you are happy to let others take center stage while you work behind the scenes.  But this month, don’t sell yourself short. Take the kudos when they’re given, and credit when credit is due. In fact, your coworkers are likely to elect you as the chief-kief-in-command for the big projects. Are you up for the task? Of course you are stoner Cancer!  But, balance will determine how high you will fly. Being able to identify when you are ready to grind in high gear, or when you need to set aside extra time for extended smoke sessions, will help you to maintain a steady and productive pace throughout the month. As long as you keep your mind grounded, and your spirit high, you will be able to ensure that you and the crew are ready to blaze the trails of success.

Stoner Cancer, the smell of the sweet sensimilla won’t be the only thing permeating the atmosphere this month.  There will be romance in the air also.  If you already have that extra special cannabis companion, now is the time to make efforts to show them that you care. Remember stoner Cancer, it doesn’t have to be over-the-top; maybe make them their favorite munchies, and watch their favorite movie; or perhaps a surprise picnic at their favorite smoke spot.  If you are a single stoner Cancer, you are certain to cross paths, and pass the chronic with new and amazing token’ terrestrial astronauts.  And whether romantic, or platonic, relationships grow from these encounters, they are sure to be the kind of people with whom you would gladly share your top shelf stash!

Cancer Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Cancer, the month of March will begin intensely. Every emotion will be felt more deeply and vividly. Yes, the lows might be more draining, but this also means the highs will be all the more exhilarating.  It might sound daunting at first, but being the ever compassionate stoner Crab you are, you will be ready for any extra feels the cosmos might bring. But, if at any time you do feel like you’re approaching your limit, take a pause, toke a puff, and find your peace. It is advised you avoid Sativa cannabis strains this month, and stick to Indica or hybrids. Stoner Cancer, you will already be vibrating at a higher frequency in March so you definitely won’t need any additional stimulation. Instead, find strains that will help you stay grounded, and centered amidst the swirling solar winds.

Stoner Cancer, your first instinct might be to hide your heightened sensitivity in the workplace. Instead of avoiding your emotions, embrace them and channel them into creative and productive outlets. Throughout the month, your dedication and determination will be noticed by your higher ups, and your analytical skills will be sought out by your peers to help solve the tough problems. Inspiration can strike at any time, so keep your notebook at the ready. Some of the best troubleshooting can happen while off the clock. You might find you do some of your best brainstorming in the quiet of your smoke filled living room; just you, your favorite bong, and a fresh bowl of the sacred sensimilla. 

This month, be the chronic-loving Crab with a plan stoner Cancer. As long as you know where your final destination is, it will be okay if you have to take a few detours along the way. In fact, with the days growing longer, you’ll have more time to take the scenic route. Just make sure you have all the necessary supplies before you embark on your next adventure. Grab your favorite toke tool, make sure your stash jar is full, rally the partners-in-chronic, and get to blazing new trails!. Summer will be here before you know it stoner Cancer. Seek out new smoke spots now, so when the weather does finally heat up, you and the canna crew will know all the best places to light up.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope February

Stoner Cancer, even though 2021 is well underway, you may still be feeling the weight of lingering obligations from the past weeks and months. The only way to lighten the load is to light one up and let things go. Finish up any outstanding obligations and worthwhile endeavors, and get back to the grind with a clean slate. Now is also a good time to go through the stash box, and get rid of any greens that have gone brown, or strains you know that you’ll never actually smoke. Whether it’s starting over with an updated to-do list, or purging your herbal supplies, February will offer the much needed reevaluation of projects and priorities.

Stoner Cancer don’t take any tensions in the workplace personally this month. While you may be party to the problem, it will be important to remember that everyone is experiencing heightened emotions during this time of cosmic miscommunication. The remedy to opposing viewpoints is open conversation and communal commitment to getting the job done. Not everyone has the same taste stoner Cancer. Some are team Indica, some are forever team Sativa. Just like your smoke sessions at home, it will be up to each member of the team to find their own preferences and strengths.  Blaze ahead until you’ve burned through all the work that needs to be done.

Stoner Cancer, even in the most tumultuous times, you will always be able to get by with a little help from your friends. Even if your coworkers question your motives, or if you doubt your abilities, you have partners in chronic who believe in you. Those in your inner smoke circle will always be ready to help you haze up the room and clear your mind. My feisty Crab, you will always be safe to explore life, the universe, and everything when in the presence of your closest cannabis companions. Whether your travels lead you to your favorite remote smokespot, or your journey is as far as your couch, you will always be ready for the next adventure when you have good greens and great company.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope January

Stoner Cancer you are often the one who will show up to help out a friend in need. Ready to offer caring words of encouragement when someone is feeling down, and sharing some of your sacred stash to help pick them up. But, when you spend so much time looking out for others, you risk neglecting your own needs. Start off the new year by looking inward my stoner Crab.  Solo smoke sessions will be a must in the early days of January. Every moment spent meditating with the sacred herb will sharpen your third eye sight; helping you to see through the haze, and realize your highest potential.

Your coworkers are always glad to have you on their team stoner Cancer. You are reliable and resourceful when it comes to tackling the tough tasks, and getting the job done. This month you will have the opportunity to take the lead on important projects.  It will be a chance to show the crew that you are truly the stoney Crab with a solid plan. While you may be excited by the prospect of bringing everyone to the next level, such success can bring more attention and praise than you are accustomed to. It’s okay to accept the kudos!  Especially when they have been earned. Just remember there is a difference between confident and cocky. So, keep it cool stoner Cancer. After a long day’s work, light up a bowl in celebration of a job well done. While the sacred herb can lift your spirits, it will also keep you humble. A reminder that even if the sky’s the limit, you have to be firmly grounded if you want to grow.

Stoner Cancer January can be a time for fresh starts and resolutions, but you don’t have to change everything. You can also choose to nurture seeds you planted long ago. Maybe this means dusting off the old paint brush, and creating something new.  Perhaps you will try crafting some of those tasty cosmic cookies you always meant to bake. Whatever your inspiration or interests are, make time for old hobbies and new passion projects. Share these stoney activities and your most excellent endo, only with your closest partners-in-chronic. Sharing is caring, but keeping the smoke circle small during this season will ensure you are not burning your cosmic candle at both ends.

Cancer Stoner Horoscope December

Stoner Cancer summertime is not the only season when the livin’ is easy. Even in the middle of winter you can expect bright and shiny times ahead, filled with good greens and red eyes. The secret to keeping the positive vibes flowing is to keep it simple. Take this time of peace layden days to get some rest. It’s not that there will be no stems or seeds in the bag of life, but you get to decide whether or not you smoke them stoner Cancer. In other words, it’s ultimately your choice how sweet and smooth, or how bitter and harsh the days of December will be. 

Relations in the workplace will not be unmanageable, but will require a little finesse on your part to keep things moving smoothly. You have the knowhow and ability to get the job done, but there may be coworkers who will try to harsh your high. There will always be critics my hardened Crab; but remember, you don’t always have to listen. When haters try to bring you down, light one up and rise above. Let the saboteurs and negative Nancy’s do their thing, while you stay steady on your grind. After all, you have bigger goals stoner Cancer. Your performance in the past months have resulted in the higher ups taking notice. But, that promotion is not guaranteed.  Find your voice, speak up, and let them know you are ready. 

Stoner Cancer during the holidays, sharing is caring.  There will be plenty of good cheer to spread around. Cannabis companions may even be skeptical as to what’s got you in such an elevated mood. The big secret to your special spunk is simple, sweet greens and good people. It has been a long and trying year stoner Cancer, but you get to choose your future. You can fire up a bowl and fret about all of your shortcomings, or you can light one up and imagine all the positivity on the path ahead. As long as you take each day one puff at a time, you are certain to start the new year with the highest expectations.

Dragon Shooter Steamroller