Aries

Fire Sign – The Ram – March 21 – April 19

Stoner Aries is the youngest of the Zodiac. The stoner Ram matches their youthful enthusiasm with bold straightforward actions. This stoner would be voted most likely to start the smoke circle session, and probably knows where all the adventurous smoke spots are located.

Passionate and headstrong, stoner Aries avoid the complexities of life. Thus they should avoid deep Indica strains. Couchlock stuck in their own head is not pleasant for an Aries. But at the same time, added beats of contemplation could lend the Aries much needed time and perspective to think things through more thoroughly.

A Sativa dominant hybrid would best match the attributes of the stoner Aries. Excellent for matching the energetic happy-go-lucky nature of an Aries, yet cerebral tones to assist in responsible decision making.

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Aries Stoner Horoscope April

Stoner Aries there will be cosmic blessings in April, but they may come with growing pains.  The universal influence will bring winds of change as you embark on a process of rebirth. However, this personal growth will come with emotional trials.  As you shed your former skin, and renew your self confident spirit, the journey may be difficult. But the greatest rewards don’t come without great effort.

Often we speak of universal influence as if we are not in control of our destiny.  However, the planets are merely a partner in your great adventure on the terrestrial plane.  Toke time early in the month to medicate and meditate with the sacred herb. A deep solo smoke session is required to delve into the concept of forgiveness.  You see, often we hold ourselves back from great personal growth by holding on to disappointments or injuries of the past. If they are not confronted, they can ride with us like a backpack of emotional weight.  This month holds a great opportunity to shed yourself of this weighty backpack stoner Aries. Granddaddy Purple or Lamb’s Bread will work perfect for this deep meditative dive. Relax stoner Aries, inhale the sacred herb and open up that backpack.  Put the emotional weight of past transgressions down forever. Forgive yourself, or you will never stop blaming yourself. Leave the weight of history behind.

Pursuit of a love interest should wait until after the cloudy exercise of emptying your backpack is complete.  But, be ready for magic once you complete your emotional task stoner Aries. If all goes well with your deep medicated meditative dive with the sacred herb, you will come out feeling like a new you.  Pump up the jam. Embrace that new confident stride. All eyes will be on you. Be sure to take the new you for a spin with some smoke circle acquaintances and the canna-crew in the second half of the month.  The deep contemplation will be over, and the puff puff parties will be plentiful. Be sure to practice safe toking stoner Aries. 

Aries Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Aries, this may seem trite, but the first month of Spring is the perfect time to clean out the clutter of the past, and move forward with fresh planting.  The clutter remaining from previous periods must go: Both emotional and physical. This isn’t just a fortune cookie phrase told a million times; the current planetary alignment supports tossing out old plans and starting from scratch.

But before you jump off the cliff and abandon everything from the past, toke time to contemplate your action.  Yes, there is cosmic support to a thorough cleansing, but sometimes the interpretation of cosmic influence requires its own interpretation.  Ah yes, a deep third eye vision inspired by the sacred herb. At the heart of this note of Spring cleaning, or cleansing, is assessment. March is the perfect time to take deep tokes of the marijuana smoke, and assess where you are at in your inner progress, and where you are at on the terrestrial plane.  In other words, take time to look at the bath water before you throw it out, there might be a baby in there!

Be forewarned stoner Aries:  These notes of assessment and emotional closet cleaning come quickly in March.  You must make your deep medicated meditative dive with the sacred herb before the 9th!  The Full Moon of the 9th marks an important date on your personal calendar. Assessments must be made before that date, or a bit of closet chaos may ensue.  But, if you are prepared my sturdy stoner Ram, then this date will mark the point of fresh beginnings. With the emotional and physical clutter assessed and analyzed before the 9th, a clear plan and fresh direction will take shape after the 9th.

Here is the wonderful message contained within this horoscope:  With your closets clean, bountiful opportunity opens as the Spring flowers bloom.  March sets up to be a spectacular month as long as you take care of cleaning requirements.  By mid month there will be no restrictions on sacred strains, physical direction, or emotional opportunity.  This will definitely be the time to plant those fresh sacred seeds of inspiration for future harvest.

Aries Stoner Horoscope February

The February period may be cool and damp, but the stoner Aries will be on fire.  Burning brightly, the fiery Ram will be a beacon of light for their fellow stoner zodiac.  This month fellow tokin’ terrestrials might find themselves wandering in the dark. This doesn’t mean you should neglect your personal well being, simply be ready to help when you can. And know that a little will go a long way this month.  An old saying goes, “We get by with a little help from our friends.” And you can be a friend indeed this month! The one with weed who can help elevate others’ perspectives to higher levels. From this vantage point, issues seem smaller and more easily manageable.

Stoner Aries everyone knows that sharing is caring.  You will be in no short supply of empathy this month.  But, be mindful of the toll it can take on your spirit and energy.  This will be especially crucial in the workplace. You may adopt a leadership role in the coming weeks, but maintaining balance will be essential to the success for everyone involved.  There is a big difference between guiding the crew or offering a helping hand, and just doing everything yourself. In other words: It shows kindness and caring to pack a bowl for two, but becomes pointless if you don’t pass it around.  As long as you keep this in mind, you will be a catalyst for success and not a constraint to progress.

The home front will be a little less demanding stoner Aries.  Certainly you will find cannabis companions and smoke circle acquaintances who will look to you to be an open ear and sounding board.  Perhaps this will require you to be a secretive cannabis confidant. The best advice, stoner Aries, is to be honest with your words. Know they will not always be taken to heart. Sometimes the best way to help is simply by being willing to listen, and to light one up when needed.  Just be sure to honor confidentiality within the smoke circle. Personal satisfaction will be gained this month by playing the part of the partner-in-chronic. Be the rock to those who need grounding, and the inspiration to those who need lifting.

Aries Stoner Horoscope January

Stoner Aries I told you about the new race beginning in December, January will be a continuation of this track and field excursion.  Or perhaps for you it may be more of gunny-sack hop. Just like that comedic summer family reunion or summer camp farce, there will be tons of events for you to participate in.  But instead of the egg toss and three legged race, maybe your personal track and field events will be bowl matching and smoke spot hunting.

Others might be catching up stoner Aries.  You got a fresh start in a new cycle last month.  Now, other stoner star signs will start to acknowledge a new phase of their own.  This gives you an upper hand with any conflicts. You are already warmed up and ready for battle.  If there are any long standing grievances held within the smoke circle, be sure to smoke them out early in the month.  One caveat being if your grievance is with a fellow tokin’ Aries: Watch out! They might be just as ready to throw bows as well as bowls.

Within the work sphere it might be best to save the fighting for internal battles.  There will be a natural inclination to lash out at perceived slights and injustices within the work environment.  Puff puff pass on the retribution at work stoner Aries. Seek the calm wisdom of the sacred herb to analyze your place within the workplace dynamic.  There may be a well founded grievance with a coworker or employer, but are you doing all that you can do to make yourself an invaluable asset to the company or team?  Remember stoner Aries, the goal is to be indispensable, not dramatic. As you seek out and fight the characteristics you wish to change, do not avoid the positives that are plain to see.  Medicate with the sacred herb and remember to give yourself praise and love mixed in with the honest criticism.

Aries Stoner Horoscope December

What a long strange trip it’s been stoner Aries.  2019 has been a year of tests, trials, and triumphs.  You may feel like an exhaustive race is near the end with the finish line in sight.  Breathe deep, inhale the perspective expanding magic of the sacred herb, and see with your third eye vision that the race is far from over.  Perhaps December should be viewed as the beginning of a new race, and all that work and effort in the past was merely preparation. Ah yes, isn’t that just the way our cosmic simulation is set-up:  A constant realization of catch 22 or circular logic.

Before you put your jogging shoes back on, know that the work sphere may be more calm than previous periods.  Obstacles and obstructions will fall with ease. But instead of sitting back to recognize your accomplishments with generous self adulatory pats on the back, use these calm cosmic moments to work on your expertise within your field.  Toke time with the sacred herb to contemplate how you can grow in your position under your own momentum.  

It is within the personal sphere where the hard work lies in December.  And similar to the work sphere, tasks must be performed with self motivated impetus.  Matters of love and smoke circle relationships have presented many challenges this year.  No matter your relationship status, this truth for all stoner Aries must be analyzed and contemplated.  This may be contrary to your happy-go-lucky direct in-the-moment tact, but progress requires internal growth stoner Aries.  This change-up of ingrained traits will be most effective with a change-up of herbal assistance. Two stash jars will be required in December; one with a dank Indica strain, and the other with an airy Sativa.  Find moments to steal away on a cold night with a blanket for warmth, and a bowl of Indica for deep contemplation. Seek internal truth and understanding on your personal actions, and your personal desires. Have those two things matched in your quest for companionship this year?  Switch to the stoney stash of Sativa for public moments with the smoke circle. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to enact the plan stemming from the contemplated merger of want and desire.

It could be, all that was missing this year was contemplative thought with yourself to align your path with internal direction.  Wow, imagine how much love you can share and receive with your traditional happy-go-lucky traits once you’ve found the correct course.



Aries Stoner Horoscope November

Stoner Aries the final Fall month will end with a bomb cyclone of turbulent cosmic energy. Thankfully this powerful surge of storm clouds won’t hit your astrological house, but you must prepare for emergency procedures nonetheless. Fear not my stoner Ram, there will be a clear path to safety, even if danger surrounds you.

The path forward in November will come from within stoner Aries. Universal influence may consume cannabis companions and smoke circle acquaintances with dramatics and conflict. Even though this planetary ire will not be directed at the stoner Ram, the impact of these negative storm clouds will surely affect them. The clear path moving forward will be mapped out within the essence of the sacred herb. The kind nature and chill impact of the sacred herb will assist in conflict resolution and anger management.

Chill stoner Aries. Puff puff pass on the conflict. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to awaken the third eye. See through dramatic situations that may come from all angles in November. Combust the inherent empathy contained within the sacred herb. Part of conflict resolution is conflict avoidance. Use an empathetic third eye vision to understand the conflicts approaching aren’t about, or connected, to you. This way, you may be able to turn a potential conflict into a helping hand for a cannabis companion. Be the chill friend and kind bub your cannabis cohorts need.

Seek the kind nature of the sacred herb within burnt bowls this month. Kindness is a fundamental key to combating this difficult time. There will be moments of anger stoner Aries, but you control the level of your aggression. Sink deep into the sacred herb and extract a calm kindness. Rise high above the terrestrial plane to see these moments of frustration and anger are temporary. Puff puff pass on the immediacy of charged moments.

The Ram brings visions of physical power. This month, with a sacred herbal assistant, conjure up a more metaphysical power of positivity to enhance and heal struggling members of the smoke circle. All the positive power is within you stoner Aries.

Aries Stoner Horoscope October

Usually known for blazin’ trails and burnin’ blunts, a leader in the stoner Zodiac, the stoner Aries can anticipate a more lighthearted period with their fellow tokin’ terrestrials. After the steady grind of a busy summer season, this may be a welcomed change of pace. Use meditative moments to ‘keep it real’ stoner Aries. Toke time to look inward, align those chakras, and find your zen. This will be the best way to keep it real with yourself, and keep it one hundred with the rest of your partners-in-chronic.

We cosmic travelers can all be moody creatures, especially during the changing of the seasons. The days are getting colder, and the sunlight fades sooner; these conditions can often entice us to burrow at home and resign ourselves to the confines of the couch. Not the stoner Aries! They can always find a way to cheer themselves up, or trick themselves into a better mood during moments tainted by internal negativity.

In October, it will be important to quickly address any negative moods, and deal with them head on. While it can be a tedious task, sometimes you just have to pick out the seeds and stems to get the greens to smoke a little better. You have it within your power to take a schwaggy situation and make it better. Lessons can be learned from facing adversity versus pushing it aside. Classic strains like Jack Herer and Purple Haze can help elevate mood, and inspire the creativity needed to suck it up, smoke one down, and get the job done.

Stoner Aries can be prone to questioning their own instincts. In the spirit of keeping it real, additional effort will be needed to dial-in the frequency of their third eye. Connectivity with the inner voice can be problematic. Fortunately, tokin their favorite fragrant strain, or ‘smokin that loud,’ can help tune out terrestrial noise; and amplify the airwaves of internal communication. Whether additional time is dedicated to solo meditative smoke sessions with the sacred herb, the greatest growth and understanding will come from puff puff and passing time within the communal smoke circle.

At the end of the workday, it will be up to the stoner Aries to keep things fresh. A smooth ride can become complacent and boring if the scenery never changes. Find creativity within the workplace. Seeking insight with the sweet sensimilla can help expand the mind, and make it easier to view work dynamics from a new perspective. Formerly daunting to-dos will suddenly seem like a drop in the bucket when they are seen from a new, higher vantage point.

Nobody Glass Pipes

Aries Stoner Horoscope September

Stoner Aries how hard is your hustle? How good is your grind? The month of September will be all about realizing the true extent of your grit. There will always be an endless to-do list. It is up to you to search out the challenging projects that bring the desired sense of satisfaction. You are not one who is quick to choose the easy way out, but you can also lose interest if a task does not provoke a certain cerebral stimulation. The goal will be to find the proper balance between getting stuff done, and stoking your curiosities.

This season there will be times where you puff puff pass on sharing the grass with others; Instead toking time to puff puff by yourself. Fellow tokin terrestrial astronauts might take this as a slight. Be sure to make clear that there are no hard feelings. It will be up to you to carve out time for solo smoke sessions to tend to the soul and connect with your inner spirit. Sometimes the best way to prepare for external pressure is to turn your attention inward. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to ease the pressure of the terrestrial world. Cannabis concentrations will help you reconnect with the inner self, and prepare you to be a better bud.

Stoner Aries September is a great month to work out old kinks in familial relationships. Just like a good purveyor of the sticky sensimilla, sometimes you need to pick out the seeds and stems. Smoldering bowls of conflict must be extinguished as they flare up. As daunting as it first may sound, it will be prime time to air grievances and settle past beefs. The peace pipe is precisely for these situations. While everyone should be allowed to express their side of the issue, it will be the shared stoney experience that enables all involved to meet on common ground, and rise above the haze of conflict.

Once you have cleared the air, you will enjoy more lighthearted evenings with your smoke circle. With everyone in higher spirits, you will be able to gather peacefully around the campfire and contemplate the cosmic conundrums that riddle us all. While the days may grow shorter, adventures will be in no short supply. As it happens, a little birdie told me the first month of Fall is the new fourth month of summer. Keep those bowls packed and the fire burning stoner Aries.

Smokin Js Anniversary

Aries Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Aries push hesitancy aside, and dispose of all reservations. This is the season of the Fire Sign! The universe will send a kick of energy and confidence your way in the final month of summer. While stress is likely, success is even more certain. You can expect to make great strides in the things that may bring you the most trepidation. Strive for success stoner Aries, not speed. There will be plenty of wins that come with great ease, but you should be prepared to go in hard with a steady grind. August is all about achieving balance: Push for fun accomplishments early in the month, but be willing to work toward more practical and humble goals toward the end of the month.

The sacred herbal prescription for August is a balanced hybrid. The month will be comprised of many ups, but how you react to the downs will be crucial. Balance could be the key between substantial success, and missing your mark. Operating outside of your comfort zone is exhilarating, but at the same time it can produce an aura of anxiety. The Sativa side of things will help you settle into a succinct groove, handling business and checking off that to-do list. And the Indica influences will help flip those pangs of anxiety into feelings of well-being. The balanced result will turn the negative energy into positive action.

Be forewarned stoner Aries: Proceed with caution when playing with fellow terrestrial astronauts. A bold cosmic wind could bring out more from you than your smoke circle is ready for. While they might be surprised, your response to their surprise will be the deciding factor. It is up to you stoner Aries, whether you proceed with a hot head, or play it cool. If needed, take a time out for a solo smoke sesh. Puff, puff, pass the time reflecting on where you’re at, and where you want to go.

Seek a progressive smoke session with the sacred herb early in the month while confidence is high. There will be many adventures and distractions that keep you from this task, but this is the most optimal time to take a deep meditative dive into yourself. Seek inner understanding and alignment of your chakras. With this session, success in August will be more likely, and more impactful toward long term progress.

Aries Stoner Horoscope July 2019

Stoner Aries the second summer month will be a time of doing! The current planetary alignment will support, and almost require, a frenetic pace. Leave the full bodied Indica strains in the stash box. Sativa strains and Sativa dominant hybrids will be the sacred prescription for July.

Doing, not spending, stoner Aries. The terrestrial missions and project fulfillment of July must be accomplished with hard work or acute intellect, not through monetary spending. Too many times terrestrial astronauts assign accomplishment to material assets. The universal support this month is more about internal progress and task management than material trinkets. However, there is nothing holding you back from increased earnings during this energetic month.

Toke time early in the month to fly high above the terrestrial plane on a medicated meditative smoke session with the sacred herb. From these medicated highs, the stoner Aries will be able to see life in context from a broader perspective. Think of this meditative moment as a tool for organizing the frenetic energy toward internal progress. Aligning bountiful opportunities with internal desire will help take the edge off the frenetic pace, and illuminate the desired pathway. Opportunities will be abundant in July. Take on as many as possible. Success will be assured with a contemplative plan of action, and organized methodology of progress.

Before the month concludes, toke time for another deep medicated meditative dive with the sacred herb. This meditative smoke session will act as a book end to a crazy busy period. Seek insight into how the actions of the month related to internal desires. Now, instead of flying high above the terrestrial plane, sink deep into yourself for connected analysis. An Indica strain can be applied for this meditative download. This final action of July could lead to breakthroughs for future time periods.

Burn one for me you delightful busy bee.