Aries

Fire Sign – The Ram – March 21 – April 19

Stoner Aries is the youngest of the Zodiac. The stoner Ram matches their youthful enthusiasm with bold straightforward actions. This stoner would be voted most likely to start the smoke circle session, and probably knows where all the adventurous smoke spots are located.

Passionate and headstrong, stoner Aries avoid the complexities of life. Thus they should avoid deep Indica strains. Couchlock stuck in their own head is not pleasant for an Aries. But at the same time, added beats of contemplation could lend the Aries much needed time and perspective to think things through more thoroughly.

A Sativa dominant hybrid would best match the attributes of the stoner Aries. Excellent for matching the energetic happy-go-lucky nature of an Aries, yet cerebral tones to assist in responsible decision making.

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Aries Stoner Horoscope June

Stoner Aries with summer in full swing, you are fired up, roaring and ready to blaze full speed ahead. You are the fun-loving spirit who will say yes to almost any invitation for adventure.  The one who is down to join your partners in chronic on all of their endo-excursions. But proceed with caution this month.  The goal is to make the most of the long days and good weather, not to burn yourself out before you make it to July.  So, slow your roll stoner Aries, or at least try to pace yourself.  It is better to take a pause, toke a moment to think, and know what you’re getting into before you fully commit. 

Stoner Aries, there are some of your coworkers that see your confidence as you being cocky; those who see your relentless persistence as showing off to the supervisors. Everyone is entitled to have their opinions, but it is up to you as to whether you take their words as insults or inspiration. You can waste your energy worrying about what the critics have to say, or you can choose to invest your efforts into constructive collaborations with your more ambitious peers. My rambunctious Ram, during June you may end up packing the peace pipe for one. A few stress relieving tokes will help you to stay grounded and keep your spirit high.  Keen well placed solo smoke sessions will help rise above the fray, and the naysayers. 

Before you embark on outdoor expeditions this month, you should spend time exploring your own inner nature. Regardless of whether you prefer Indica or Sativa, maybe you smoke them all, now will be a good time to seek out cerebrally stimulating strains. There may not be any apparent issues that are troubling you right now, but medicated meditative sessions with the sacred herb can shine light on what is beneath the smokey vail. Perhaps there is an underlying tension with a close cannabis companion or a four-twenty friendly family member. Before you finalize any trips or plans with this person, light up and let go of any past grievances you might be holding onto. It is important you align your chakras, and find your own Zen first stoner Aries. Otherwise, when you do get together for your next smoke session, you risk puff puff passing bad vibes instead of kind buds.

Aries Stoner Horoscope May

Get ready stoner Aries, you’re about to make things happen!  May will begin with self-reflection and the rebirth of your determination. What will result is a sense of accomplishment felt throughout the month. Be sure to schedule regular meditative smoke sessions with the sacred herb throughout the final Spring month.  Your cannabis prescription will favor the Sativa species of our sacred plant over Indica strains.  But be forewarned:  Self-restraint will be key; overindulgence will only make things more complicated than necessary. 

My stoner Ram, the month of May will propel you into the project you’ve been seeking to finish, the job you’ve been striving to get, and the relationships you’ve been yearning to start. For significant periods you’re going to spend your time contemplating the truths and deeper meanings of all spheres of life. What’s troubling you stoner Aries? It’s high time you toke your way to relieving the struggles within you. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to inspect and cleanse the negative energy from your being. Pick which battles to fight, and release your spirit from the ones that are not going to serve you moving forward.

Stoner Aries, you’re going to crank your body and mind into full gear during the last half of May. This means lots of long days and late nights working to get ahead of that deadline, networking to make new contacts, and seeking new opportunities to get you and your career to the next level. No smoking during business hours my stoner Ram!  And stick to bright Sativa cannabis strains to avoid couch lock. It’s time to impress, make money, and take risks. If you’ve ever wanted to switch careers, RIGHT NOW is the time to do so. Doors are opening, and getting your foot in the industry that you’ve been eyeing is a realistic possibility this month. But take caution with internal conflict.  Manage your negative side stoner Aries. You are building a new life for yourself, and you want to enter this era with ethereal patience and emotional control. 

My fiery and bold stoner Ram, don’t question yourself this month. You are enough. With the right mindset, and a stash jar filled with the sacred herb, May will bring a time of focus for your mind, and perseverance to your spirit. So go forth and change your world!

Aries Stoner Horoscope April

Stoner Aries April looks to be a tale of two strains, marked by the New Moon on the 11th.  It is months like this we are reminded of the bipolar nature of the two most popular cannabis species.  Most importantly, how we can use them to curate our own sacred terrestrial experience.

The start of April finds your usually vibrant and excitable nature much more subdued and turned inward. This may be difficult for you my stoner Ram, but this time of self-reflection will help you get in touch with your intuition. Load the stash jar with a heavy hitting Indica, toke some time for yourself, and allow your mind to wander. With a bit of thoughtful meditation, and the help of some sweet Sinsemilla, you will likely encounter a few eureka moments during the first two weeks of the month.  All this introspective thought will be useful for when things start moving faster in the second half of April. 

In contrast Stoner Aries, the pace of life will increase after the New Moon on the 11th.  This period beckons for extroversion, and time with your smoke circle companions.  So pack the travel piece with a bright sacred Sativa strain, grab the canna-crew, and head out for an endo-excursion.  A perfectly packed bowl or rolled joint of an energetic Sativa strain will give you and the ganja gang an extra boost of inspiration. Now is the time to do the things you’ve been planning during the early introspective stage of the month. Just remember, moderation is key this month my stoner Ram. It will be very tempting to go wild, but if you set your priorities straight, you’re sure to reap the rewards. There will be nothing that can stop you during this moon cycle as long as you’re putting in the work. There will be time and energy to do it all.  Stoner Aries make it a point to puff puff pass the inspiration you’ve found this month to your closest partners in chronic. They will appreciate the fresh bud and inspirational perspective.

Stoner Aries, be your own cannabis curator this month, and seek balance through the sacred herb. Use the right sacred tool for the right moment, and watch the blessings wash over you throughout April and beyond.

Aries Stoner Horoscope March

Happy early birthday stoner Aries! The universe will rain blessings of positivity in the first Spring month.  With a mindful third eye toward your sacred strain selections, an internal conversation with your inner voice, and a canna-collaborative attitude at work, progress and success are assured.

Stoner Aries March is offering you the perfect opportunity to delve deep into your sense of self, and your place, on our terrestrial plane. Load the stash jar with a balanced hybrid, toke some time with your feelings, and explore those things you’ve kept hidden from yourself. But be forewarned stoner Aries: Try not to let the smoke cloud your progress. Now is not the time to be self-defeating while in your introspective space. The cosmos is blessing you with some much needed confidence and courage to change things. Harness this energy my stoner Ram.  

In the work sphere this month, channel your bravery, self-starting attitude, action-oriented perspective, and natural ability to lead. Stoner Aries, March is calling for you to put the contemplative efforts of the last few months into action. If possible, sit down with your corporate canna crew this month and puff puff pass inspiration. It’s time to get things done, so make sure to choose a light and bright Sativa dominant species this month within work focused smoke sessions. You’ll want to avoid couchlock at all costs, and instead use the sacred herb as a catalyst to put thoughts into action regarding your place within the economic machine. You have the power to create the perfect space within the daily grind; so get to it!   

March will offer two different perspectives, stoner Ram. Personal moments of meditative smoke sessions will require a balanced hybrid to break up the busyness of the work sphere, while a Sativa dominant strain of the sacred herb within the economic machine will help you harness the innovative and original energy the cosmos is offering. Make sure smoke sessions are centered around open and honest communication with the canna-fam, as well as yourself. Stoner Aries, this unreserved sincerity will illuminate the path to peace and tranquility throughout March. 

Aries Stoner Horoscope February

Stoner Aries the Winter season will end with a focus on the future. Take solace in your canna-fam, and plenty of solo smoke sessions too. This month is going to find you in need of introspection, something that doesn’t necessarily come easy for you. A packed stash jar and self-analysis is necessary for growth my stoner Ram, but it won’t be helpful to choke on the things you feel you’ve done wrong. February is the month to break down those walls that you have put up against yourself.

Stoner Aries, everything related to your material possessions and money might feel like they are only barely trudging forward this month. However, remember that just like your favorite creeper cannabis strain, moving slowly is sometimes better than rushing ahead. The Full Moon falls on February 27th this month. Your natural search for perfection might be heightened during this time. It’s important my stoner Ram, to go easy on yourself, and use this Full Moon to remove excess from your life in areas of everyday work and service. Get your daily schedule in order, and you’ll feel altogether more in control.

Stoner Aries, you will feel empowered in areas relating to your partners in chronic. Use your forward-thinking attitude, and the energetic Sativa cannabis species, to empower your efforts in the personal sphere. Though I feel compelled to forewarn you my stoner Ram: Mercury is still moving retrograde until the 21st. The start of February may find you needing to reign in some of your usual tendencies to act on impulse. But fear not stoner Aries! The New Moon on February 11th will act as a breath of sweet herb-filled air. The New Moon event will offer an opportunity for a fresh start. Toke advantage of this energy to realign with what matters to you, and make plans for the future. 

These cross winds of cosmic influence may cause some strain with your closest cannabis companions. If you find yourself being more irritable or grumpy than you are naturally, that’s perfectly okay; just remember to keep the stash jar full of that sweet sensimilla, and smoke your way to a cooler canna-head. With a little effort, and a packed bowl, you can manifest immense positivity on our terrestrial plane.

Aries Stoner Horoscope January

Stoner Aries the January time period will be a slow steady burn throughout the month, with a kief topped bowl to finish.  But slow down my rambunctious Ram.  This month will be like that Atari video game Pitfall:  You will have to make solid choices which direction you go, and step carefully over dangerous traps.

Decisions decisions decisions stoner Aries.  The universe will present you with a plethora of social decisions in January.  That’s good right?  So many smoke circles to pass through, and lots of canna-buddies ready to roll.  However, you must be selective.  There will be forces at work behind the cosmic curtain that will grind you down if you make the wrong choices.  For single stoner Rams, it will be best to finish the days with close cannabis companions or members of the canna-fam.  For partnered stoner Rams the days should finish with your cannabis companion.  You should not charge down the party path like a wild animal.

Although the social smoke circle will be calling throughout the month, selectivity is paramount so that energy remains strong at work and at home.  This is not the month to burn the joint at both ends.  How does that even work anyways!?!  I strongly recommend a high CBD strain of the sacred herb to pack in your bowls this month.  Amid all the opportunities to hang and chill will be an underlying tension brought on through work stress and home-life anxiety.  The high CBD dominant cannabis strain will help maintain physical health while taking the edge off those potentially frayed nerves.  

The month will build to a climax near the Full Moon of the 28th.  If you don’t maintain a sure path throughout the month, then the pressure filled climax could damage overall progress at work and at home.  But, these are not words of doom and gloom stoner Aries.  You got this.  Along with the sacred prescription for a high CBD strain, also build a solid physical regiment.  Perhaps some of the right choices in the video game of life will be targeted spots of rest and recuperation.  Maybe instead of that Tokin Tuesday smoke out, you can go home and chill with a solo sesh and a good movie like Bandersnatch.  In this choose-your-own-adventure, the ganja gang will be more than ready to take that healthy hike to that killer smoke spot on the weekend.  

Aries Stoner Horoscope December

Stoner Aries you have been burning hot all year. Being the first of the Fire signs, you are always down to ride, and ready to light one up. After another year of blazing trails, and countless stoney adventures, it’s time to slow your roll. This doesn’t mean you are coming to a complete stop, but rather, embracing a change of pace. The journey isn’t over, but the transition of one year to the next brings the realization that sometimes it’s okay to take the scenic route. So, during this holiday season my rough stoner Ram, remember to take time to smell, and smoke, the flowers. 

Stoner Aries the idea of slowing down might sound strange at first, but don’t fret. The workplace will be one outlet where you can channel all your excess energy. While home life may be more mellow than usual, you will have endless opportunities to express your creative undertakings on the clock. Your enthusiasm to get the job done, and get it done well, will help to inspire the rest of the team to keep the fires burning into the new year. But, when the job is done, don’t feel bad to take a breather. There’s no better reward for a job well done, than to settle down in your coziest smoke spot, and relax with a bowl of the sweet sensimilla.

As the month and year come to an end, it will be time to truly relax. Maybe you spend the holidays with a group of your partners in chronic, lighting up and laughing at all the hazy days gone by. Or perhaps you choose to share a bowl for two with your one and only cannabis companion, imagining the smokey days ahead. Use the down time to the fullest by celebrating both the highs and the lows, with those who mean the most. However you say goodbye to the past year, enjoy the peace while you can stoner Aries. Before you know it, 2021 will be here, and it will be time to get back to the grind.

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Aries Stoner Horoscope November

Stoner Aries, if last month was like Float On by Modest Mouse, November will be like I Want to Break Free by Queen.  Now is the time to take the reins of your destiny.  Now is the time for self empowerment.

Ok stoner Ram, let’s take a quick smoke break before we charge head first into the great void.  After all, there is no point in charging forward with no direction or destination in mind.  Within the first trimester of November, toke time for a medicated meditative solo smoke session with the sacred herb.  Lamb’s Bread or Granddaddy Purple are perfect strains for this meditative exercise.  Focus deep within stoner Aries.  Find your center, and thus your direction will be revealed.  

The final two trimesters of November will be all about action more so than contemplation.  With your direction attained, now you can put your horns down and charge ahead.  For optimal success my fierce Ram, you must engage your third eye on this path forward.  The nice thing about floating with the universal currents is the safety in letting go.  The November path guided by your own momentum could be more treacherous.  Once again you may find assistance with specific cannabis strains.  Keep the stash jar loaded with Sour Diesel and or Green Crack for your executive adventures in November.  With these cannabis strains as your herbal assistant, your third eye sight will help root out the traps and pitfalls of your chosen path.

Stoner Aries, I have one strong note to pass for this sacred vision quest in the transition from Fall to Winter.  It may be out of season, but you must take time to plant seeds for the future during your hard charge forward in November.  Once again, your keen herbally enhanced third eye should spot the opportunities.  The seeds you plant now for success in both the work and personal spheres, will bear fruit in later time periods.  Break free stoner Aries!  Guide yourself toward positivity!

Aries Stoner Horoscope October

Stoner Aries you will grow like a pumpkin in October.  While others may be stuck in the frigidity of the second Fall month, you will be supported by a warm cosmic breeze.  With the sacred herb as your terrestrial guide, love and progress are assured.

Action is required right away in October!  The Full Moon on the 1st marks an opportunity to seize the cosmic reigns of your own stelar mission.  Find personal time near the Full Moon for a solo smoke session with the sacred herb.  The strain does not matter.  Your meditative mission on this smoke out will be to prepare yourself for the month ahead.  Support from the planetary alignment will be strongest for a stoner Ram that is nimble, and can float with the cosmic current.  This solo medicated meditative exercise will balance the chakras, and prepare your mental state for flexibility in solving problems and connecting with cannabis companions.

Stoner Aries there is more than one way to trim bud.  More than one way to roll a joint.  As you flow through the October time period, use the sacred herb to maintain a higher perspective.  From this enhanced perspective, obstacles and problems will be easier solved and overcome.  Keep these solution oriented smoke sessions light.  A little dab will do yah.  There is great power in the sacred herb; even the lightest touch can bring great impact.

Stoner Aries this is a great time to maintain and repair your cannabis community connection.  Family and close cannabis companions aren’t gone, they just haven’t been in your view for some time.  October presents a fantastic opportunity to reach out, and touch a long lost loved one.  Toke time to find a safe space to inhale the sacred herb and make the connection.  There is great power in this action, but it requires you to take the first step.  With the sacred herb as your canna-copilot, love and progress can be harvested from all spheres of life.

Aries Stoner Horoscope September

Stoner Aries, while you watch others frantically try to squeeze in a last minute road trip, or a stay-cation before autumn arrives, you welcome September contentedly.  The stoner Ram knows that they made the most out of every hot and hazy day of Summer.  But, the good times don’t have to end Stoner Aries!  It may not be at the same fiery pace you maintained in August, but you can continue your stoney adventures at a slow and steady burn, far into the fall season.  The secret to maintaining your groove will be to keep a balanced budget regarding both your finances, and your spiritual energy.  You might always be ready to hike to an elevated smoke spot, or to take a ride with your partners-in-chronic to enjoy cannabis on the coast.  But be forewarned:  You won’t get very far unless you have enough green to put gas in the tank, and enough left in your stash to toke up when you finally arrive.  

Stoner Aries the workplace will be a time of great accomplishment and advancement, as long as you are able to avoid butting heads with coworkers.  Even if you are in a leadership position, remember you are still one of the team.  Not everyone will always like the tasks they are assigned, but instead of reprimanding skeptics, redirect them.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to illuminate the vision of the big picture, and help everyone to see the impact of individual contributions.  But, keep in mind that communication is a two-way street stoner Aries.  Just because someone’s idea seems half-baked, or was not part of the original action plan, doesn’t mean it’s not worth hearing.  Your most important job is to promote peace, progress and innovation.  If the team is able to puff puff pass on the dramatics, productivity will reach record highs.  

September is here and it’s time to clear your head.  It’s always recommended you keep the stash jar full, and the air hazy stoner Aries!  But there may be a fog that has been hanging over your head.  Perhaps there is uncertainty that has been holding you back from taking your relationships to the next level.  While it is true that cannabis can help you expand your mind, it can also be a catalyst in strengthening connections with your partners-in-chronic.  So embrace the sacred herb stoner Aries.  Light one up and let go of fear.  You may be surprised to find that it was all in your head all along, and the canna crew has been waiting for you to rejoin the smoke circle.

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