Stoner Virgo, grab your cannabis companion and hold tight.  April will be a rough road on the cosmic highway.  The good news is that you possess some of the best shock absorbers in the celestial kingdom.  Your instincts, decision-making, judgement, and tenacity will be tested in April as a cosmic headwind will sear at your skin for the entire month.  The sacred herb can be your soothing ointment.  I do not have a cannabis strain to recommend this month stoner Virgo.  It will be crucial for you to maintain steadfast attention, calm confidence, and keen intelligence as you travel on this rough road.  

Now that you understand the gravity of the situation, please understand you are capable of making it through April unscathed and unhurt.  You have all the tools to tackle each problem one bump at a time.  Part of the solution is actually knowing the problem is coming.  Take heed and prepare yourself early in the month.  Focus your meditations on surrounding yourself with a cosmic force field.  These internal preparations will give you the fortitude to weather any situation that presents itself.  Remember this, sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is to set it aside until you have developed a way to deal with it.
Stoner Virgo, your love life in April will be as if the cosmos is illuminating the most insecure part of your relationship.  For those of you lucky in love, please have confidence that healing old wounds will take your relationship out of the darkness and into the light.  For those of you Stoner Virgo’s without a cannabis companion or balancing a disingenuous relationship, the cosmic light will place a giant mirror in front of your love life.  You will not be able to escape the truth.