Tag Archives: #stonerhoroscope

Gemini September 2015

Stoner Gemini, brace yourself this month.  September brings on an awkward period for you.   Neither your professional career, nor your personal life will be flying high.  The planets positive and negative emanations will be blocked out by each other, neutralizing most of their support or bad influences.  You’re not winning,  you’re not losing, you’re really just staying afloat.  But hey, don’t you worry!  As Bob says:  “Every little thing is going to be alright”.  Normally a Sativa strain is your best bet, but a nice Indica hybrid might help you mellow and find some inner peace.  

Try not to overcompensate for your lack of “achievements” by over exerting yourself.  I know this may be a hard concept for your attention-driven, go-getter attitude to grasp; but, excelling should not be a top priority for you.  After so many consistent months of kicking ass at your job, I think you’ve earned a break from your T-break.  Now I am not suggesting that you sit in a foggy haze of stale smoke for the next month.  I’m just saying it wouldn’t kill you to “smoke two joints before you smoke two joints”, if you are picking up what I’m laying down.

The one thing that you are probably aware of by this point, is that your non-existent love life has finally received a little planetary support these last few months.  It’s exciting, and you will finally be sure of what direction you want things to go.  However, your words and actions are not coming across as clear as you think.  Be mindful to the way you portray your feelings or you might be as deceitful as that huge wake and dab you’re never sure why you thought was a good idea.  Every success you have remains entirely in your hands this month. Only you can light that bowl, but don’t get carried away, or you’ll roast the whole thing.

Taurus September 2015

Stoner Taurus, patience will be your saving grace this month.  If you are not careful, September has the potential to bring many situations that will be stickier than freshly heated resin.  Arguments with your friends or colleagues is more probable than you’d like to think.  Don’t sweat the small stuff; it’s inevitable.  Inhale green goodness, exhale brown bull.  

Trying to fly under the radar will be in your best interest this month.  Do your best to not to overstep any boundaries or give your unsolicited input on a topic.  Yes, we all know your highly opinionated, and (odds are) you’re probably right, but bite your tongue and keep it to yourself for now or you’ll have no smoking buddies left by the end of the month.  Remember:  Patience is key.  If you can silently watch from the sidelines, and focus on yourself, you’ll gradually start to see things smooth over by the end of the month.

It is likely that you’ll be feeling conflicted or confused about some major issues.  Know that it’s not the ganja clouding your mind.  Just keep on that righteous path you’ve been on for the last few months.  You are very intuitive, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. Although you’ll be laying low, you can still help to raise your vibration.  It has to start from the inside out.  Love and acceptance conquers all.  Now is a good time for inner reflection and it would be wise to escape the social beckonings of others at this time.  Grab your sacred herb and your favorite traveling pipe, and head for the hills.  Nothing is more satisfying to the soul than connecting with nature, and what better way to say goodbye to Summer?   

Aquarius September 2015

Stoner Aquarius, don’t fret too much about what events the universe decides to put on your plate this month.  It may seem like there are surprises around every corner, you will have the knowhow and energies to face the unexpected with your full focus.  In order to maintain your activeness, go ahead and search out those uplifting qualities of a nice, sweet sativa.  By keeping yourself (and your high) on the up, you will be able to avoid burnout and keep the mind fresh for creative problem solving.

Use the workplace as an outlet for your ambitions.  Whatever your tasks or projects may be, you can address them with full confidence in your abilities to accomplish them.  Whatever you do; don’t let your smoke slow you down when it comes to your pursuit of success.  September can be a month where you let your inner light shine through at work, to both your peers and your leaders.  The only one who can diminish this month’s brightness is you.  Stay focused on your project oriented work and people will notice.

With regards to bigger plans, be sure to schedule them for the first part of the month.  Home life should be mostly smooth but, not necessarily stable.  Be sure to stock up on all green things early.  It will probably be needed in later weeks and having a nice supply will be one less thing to interrupt your happenings at home.  If things with that special someone seem to be getting a little tense, go ahead, smoke a bowl and enjoy a nice stroll together in the outdoors while the weather is still nice.  Allow yourself the time to decompress and reflect, then try having the conversation again.