Tag Archives: #stonerhoroscope

CANCER MAY 2017

Stoner Cancer, this May, it will be best to keep your roll to a slower pace. As long as you invest the time in planning out your endeavors, you will meet your goals with success. The biggest obstacle you will face this month is ambiguity. If you do not have a set destination, you run the risk of being easily blown off course. But, Cancer, this does not have to be the case. Your only limitation will be the strength of your imagination. As one wise lyricist once said, “the sky’s the limit.”

In order to accomplish the goals you do set in place, the best strategy will be to keep moving. While it may take additional energies to build this momentum, it will be easy to maintain once you’ve gotten started. What this means in the workplace is to not let setbacks hold you back. A failure is simply the opportunity to learn new approaches to older problems. In order to produce the most effective results, it is recommended that you use the buddy system. Your peers at work may be facing the same obstacle of stagnancy. If you address each task as a team, you will accomplish greater success.

While the majority of your energy should be invested into your work, the leftovers should be spent on family and friends. The old adage that sharing is caring should be taken seriously. Maybe you scored an extra special stash–it would go to waste if you don’t invite others to enjoy the sacred herb. Anytime will be a good time to burn a bowl with your bosom buds. Those closest to you have new and exciting undertakings of their own to share. Take the time to talk. But, don’t forget to be a good listener.

ARIES MAY 2017

Stoner Aries, be prepared to have a magnificent month this May. The longer the days become, the more adventure will be able to fit into your waking hours. You should use the spring season to its greatest potential–get out there and explore, your mission is to make new discoveries. With all the novel experiences you will have, remember to go with your gut. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. So, the best advice is to enjoy what you find, but remember to keep yourself grounded. You can roll one up, or keep your travel pipe ready, just avoid a hazy head. There will be no point in finding new things if you do not maintain the mental clarity needed to enjoy them.

Although you may have to increase your efforts at the workplace, don’t worry, your investments will pay off. Just like in your personal spheres, now is the time to pursue novel approaches to old tasks. Your creative ideas will only help to simplify processes at work and improve the efficiency of everyone on the team. During the month of May you will have an aura that others are sure to notice. Your good attitude and sense of humor will help to make work feel a lot less like work. While you will help to make work more fun, don’t lose sight of the tasks at hand. Equally important, however, will be to use your down time to recharge those batteries. While you will have great success in all the projects you take on, don’t forget to take it easy when time permits. To avoid becoming sluggish, stick to those uplifting Sativas. The worst thing that you could do this month is waste all of your potential by being stuck on the couch.

Aries, it will be important to stay steadfast. Don’t be afraid to stop and smell the flowers. It is even recommended that you take the time to smoke the flowers if the situation presents itself. But, don’t become so self-centered that you forget to share with those closest to you. You will reach your destination as long as you know where you’re headed before you begin your journey. And, never be afraid to ask for guidance or advice when you need it. Your friends and family will have your back, always. But, they may not offer a helping hand if they didn’t know that you needed assistance.

Virgo March 2017

Stoner Virgo, March will be a delightful period of growth.  Like spring flowers jetting out of the ground, new experiences and fruitful growth will be the possibility for you.  Do not look at this opportunity as a gift from the cosmos stoner Virgo, but a natural extension of the work and diligence you put toward your interests.  Thus, confidence and trust in yourself will guide you through March.

“Relax and take notes, as I take tokes off the marijuana smoke.”  Notorious B.I.G.

Meditative smoke sessions with the sacred herb should focus on looking inward to understand yourself and how you are perceived by others.  This is an important tool to solve any problems that might arise in the March time period.

In the work sphere, normal expectations should be applied to the March time period stoner Virgo.  Universal influences should be calm and fruitful for your pocket book.  Projects and people should be vetted with a discerning eye.  Misstatements or misinformation could derail your progress at work.  It will be crucial to research and verify pieces of information that could set you back or propel you forward with initiatives.

It is in your personal life where you will see the largest blossoms of spring.  Heed my words stoner Virgo:  Important love interests do not always include intimacy.  New cannabis companions or allies in art will come into your life during this time period.  And yes, for those single stoner Virgos, the chance of love is a possibility.

Be guided by your meditative smoke sessions.  Knowing yourself and how others perceive you will be crucial during this time.  Avoid explosive reactions to friends, family, and cannabis companions.  With a cool head and diplomacy versus an emotional and confrontational reaction, you should be able to survive and thrive through any difficulties personally.

 

Sagittarius March 2017

Stoner Sagittarius, it will not be too much to say that this March, you will be floating on cloud nine.  And if not, at least you’ll be a seven or eight.  With all the promise of the approaching spring season, you should embrace the novelty and newness of things to be explored.  Be sure to pack your travel sack with any necessary herbal supplies, and perhaps snacks just in case your journeys last longer than expected.  Just remember that all this good fortune does not come without the necessary work.  As long as you are properly prepared you will be able to spread good fortune and good smoke to all those around you.

In order to harvest the positive benefits, Stoner Sag, it will be necessary to cultivate the seeds of prosperity.  That is to say, nothing worth growing will do so without the proper care.  As long as you are willing to invest the time to put a plan in place, you will be sure to encounter a time of great prosperity.  If things do not go exactly to plan, you will not experience great loss as long as you are flexible and willing to adjust accordingly.

In the home life, Sag, it is best advised to go for a self-sustained approach.  That is not to say that you should not reach out to new people or those close to you.  Rather, you should not rely too heavily on those around you.  By all means, sharing is caring.  If you have that good, kind bud, or great news, share it!  But, when it comes to buckling down to get things done, it will be best to accomplish tasks solo.  

 

Pisces March 2017

Stoner Pisces, March will be a good month to work on investments: the best ones will be into building up your spiritual equity, not necessarily your finances.  Remember that you are the king or queen of your own karma.  While there is nothing guaranteeing every endeavor will be the success you imagined, all of your undertakings will result in noticeable growth.  In short, you get back what you give.  And this month, you will emanate a positivity that will benefit everyone around you.  It will also be a good time to branch out and try new strains that you may not have tried in the past.  If you’re an Indica smoker, perhaps try a sweet Sativa and see what creativity it inspires.  And if you normally enjoy Sativa, finding a nice Indica may help you to discover an additional calm.

If you own your business, Pisces, be sure to listen to the advice from your employees.  With the sun quickly approaching, March 2017 will be a good time to plant the seeds for projects that will expand well into summer months.  Regardless of your employment status, it will be required that you remain open with those you work with.  It can be a fine line between creativity and chaos.  So, share ideas with your peers to help avoid unnecessary confusion.

You have the potential to be a bright force in your home life.  Don’t be afraid to let that light shine, or to offer a hand or lighter if someone needs help sparking up a bowl of that good green.  Get out there Pisces!  There are new people to meet.  And, while not everyone you encounter should be invited into your smoke circle, remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea.  Otherwise, you and the crew can expect plenty of smoky adventures and plenty of positive experiences to share.  

 

Leo March 2017

Stoner Leo, the March time period will be like putting a puzzle together on a Sunday afternoon.  You will find yourself in a complex situation, but you will see the pieces and where they fit with clear vision.  For the most part the universe has blessed you once again with positive planetary protectors.  However, these blessings are not gifts.  Action and effort will be required to take advantage of your cosmic position.

Take time for yourself stoner Leo.  Pull away the veil from your third eye.  Meditate with the sacred herb.  See into the future.  As we approach spring, the stoner Leo will expect an advancement in activity after the march time period.  This increase in activity can be overwhelming in the workplace.  Therefore, you must take time in March to plan for the future and lay the organizational groundwork to support your efforts in future time periods.

Multitasking is a requirement for the March time period stoner Leo.  As you plan for future time periods you must also solve the puzzle placed in front of you in March.  Stay calm, and dab on.  With the planetary positions giving you positive sight and clarity, you will be able to solve all the puzzle pieces that come your way.  But in your rush to conquer all in front of you, do not neglect the planning also required in March.

In terms of romance and companionship, the March time period will be equally complex for the stoner Leo.  However, there is a twist in this cosmic wind.  Stoner Leo’s may find themselves in situations where everything seems clear and simple to them, but complex and overwhelming to their cannabis companions.  Puff puff pass the spliff, your empathy and understanding may be the only thing required to help your cannabis companions get through their struggle, and thus alleviating the storm in your life as well.

 

Gemini March 2017

Stoner Gemini, the time period of March begins with positivity and promise for you!  You will find success in defeating adversity, and be gifted throughout the month with energetic enthusiasm.  However, take care in the second half of the month, as risks and uncertainty are bound to appear.  March brings with it not only the long-awaited spring season, but also the potential to achieve your goals in an accelerated timeframe.  The catalyst for this success will be your amount of effort you exert.  Stay focused and positive stoner Gemini.  Approach difficulties with caution and thoughtfulness, and don’t rush to your conclusions.  Introspection and self-growth are important.  Make time for a peaceful evenings spent with the sacred herb and artwork to help you unwind and plan your route.

The work front will prove favorable for self-employed and regularly employed Stoner Gemini alike.  When implementing new ideas, a slow, well thought out approach is required to avoid destabilizing your circumstance.  Masters of their own domain can expect to be profitable early in the month, but will need to stay attentive and avoid complacency throughout the remaining weeks of March.  Stoner Gemini stuck in the gears of the machine can expect an increase in their responsibilities, but this extra workload can coincide with extra pay.  Be adaptive to change, stay in charge of your emotions, and remember to be prudent in your conclusions and actions.  The sacred herb is beneficial and comforting in times of stress and confusion.  Meditative sessions with the sacred herb will aid the transition from a warm cosmic wind in the beginning of March to a brisk head wind to finish the time period.

Stoner Gemini, your personal life this March will invoke varying emotions.  Avoid giving these feelings more significance than they deserve.  At this stage “strutting” holds strong potential to extinguish early relationships.  Stay humble and avoid attempts to impress, especially new cannabis companions.  Remember that sincerity is one of the best ways to overcome obstacles.  A luscious bowl filled with the sacred herb and some munchies nearby is a wonderful way to nourish friendships, both old and new.

 

Capricorn March 2017

Stoner Capricorn, the universe has blessed you with celestial protectors in the March time period.  However, these protectors have a bargain for you:  You must experiment and walk a different path.  As spring approaches you have the ability to clean out your cluttered closets.  Mistakes of the past – forgive yourself and move on.  Adventures neglected – step out of your protective shell and give new experiences a go.  Pesky leeches sucking at your soul – flick them off and leave them behind.

Break free from the routine in March stoner Capricorn!  All aspects of life from morning rituals to the same route to work should be revisited.  New paths should be created and explored.  Cosmic forces have offered you an opportunity to expand your reach and connection with the universe, but you have to step out of your comfortable patterns.  Complaining and complacency must end in the March time period stoner Capricorn.

Find time alone early in the March time period to meditate with the sacred herb.  Focus on seeing yourself and your surroundings.  Make it your mission to try new things.  Something as simple as trying a new grocery store or taking a different route to work can have a large impact.  The longer you hold on to old patterns, mistakes, and even triumphs, the harder it is to move forward and create something new for yourself.  Bring a notebook to your meditative smoke session.  You will need every tool at your disposal to break free from old patterns.  

Take advantage of your planetary allies stoner Capricorn.  What develops from a concerted effort to create new patterns will amaze you.  New cannabis companions wait around every corner.  A new vibrancy can blossom with current cosmic travelers.  The same old sunset will wash away and a brand new horizon will unveil itself.  You can do it stoner Capricorn!  I believe in you.

 

Scorpio March 2017

“Smile away” by Paul McCartney is a song you may well be singing all month long, stoner Scorpio!  Spring is in the air and success is plentiful in March of 2017!  If you’re a high-strung Scorpio, stick to a 60/40 sativa/indica.  If you’re more mellow go full on sativa for the most productivity in all areas of your life.  Utilize your medicine when feeling low and don’t forget how important your meditative sesh is!

Your world of love and friends is where you will require the most self-discipline.  There will be many things that come up during your smoke sessions.  Allow yourself to hear what is going on.  Then let that information settle in before making any statements or opinions be known.  This goes for everyone in your non-working life.  It is not your job to play counselor.  It is your job to listen and help find objective solutions.  Stay on track and don’t lose sight of your end game as you are greatly being relied upon as the leader this month.  Make time for yourself for medicated meditation.  You will need this time to reflect on all you are accomplishing.

The world of work will be a fine time to shine this month!  Your goal is to stay motivated, move forward and listen.  If you work for yourself or are upper-management you need to pay attention to your co-workers and employees.  It is the perfect time to hire the self-motivated personnel.  Rid your company of any non-self-starters.  For those of you who have a manager to answer to, remember in the end they will have the right answers so don’t work yourself up over any outcomes at this time. Just breathe and let be.  You will do just fine this month stoner, Scorpio, if only you work for it.  

 

Aries March 2017

Awareness.  How aware are you stoner, Aries?  March 2017 is a month where you must be aware of yourself.  Do not allow yourself to follow every mood swing into the depths of the emotions that emit from it.  Do, however, use those mood swings to your advantage! You must use your heart and your logic to weigh out the situations that will occur this month.  You must also be mindful of the words that fall from your lips.  

It will be a blessing to have a nice grounding hybrid on hand all month Aries.  Use it during your meditation sessions specifically for its grounding abilities.  In your world of love and romance, the probability of it being wonderful is in your grasp.  Keep your feet on the ground and follow your heart.  Every word you whisper to your love will have a meaningful and lasting ripple effect.  This will also apply to family members.  Be aware of your influence at this time as it will run deep with all who listen.

Work will feel like one problem after another.  If you change your perspective you will change your feelings vibration instantly.  Each little nuance that gets your hair in a knot is really just the universe calling you to be aware that you must pay attention to all the tiny details.  When it gets frustrating, take a break with your sneak a toke and let the emotion vanish.  Remember there are great rewards in doing things right the first time and better ones when you truly learn how to do them properly.
All in all, my stoner Ram, be aware, stay strong and March will find you quite happy by month’s end!