Tag Archives: #stonerhoroscope

Aries July 2017

You are likely to encounter more than a few unexpected to-dos on your task list this month, Stoner Aries. Whereas some signs might shy or shrink away from such surprises, you rush toward these obstacles and are excited by the challenge. While there are those who would try to avoid such obstacles, you look at the problem as an opportunity to flex your creative muscles. Just be sure to move too fast towards an obstacle–let the smoke clear up before you proceed or you will not have steady footing.

For you, it is never an issue to worry about when you reach your final destination, you know that you will get to where you are going. For you, it is about the journey Stoner Aries, and finding the most exciting path to follow. So, roll up that marijuana cigarette (for when you get to where you’re going), and then roll up your sleeves and get down to business. If you are not moving forward, it is simply because you are not approaching the issue from the right angle, so try a different route.

Remember, that it is peak season to enjoy the beautiful summer sun, Stoner Aries. With so many hours of daylight at your dispense, you may find yourself with the trouble of how to fill your calendar. But, even more than you enjoy celebrating your personal accomplishments, one of your favorite pastimes is helping others celebrate their successes and fortune. As long as you say “Yes” when someone invites you to join in the festivities, you will have a busy and fulfilling summer month. Your only responsibility, Stoner Aries, will be to keep the peace. Anytime there is a large gathering of people, there is the risk of conflict arising. Keep the pipe clean and at the ready, and maybe have handy a bit of mellowing marijuana. It is not a sure thing that there will be problems, but if there are, you will be ready with that herbal remedy to help cure any heartaches.

VIRGO MAY 2017

Stoner Virgo, the sun will be shining on you in the final Spring time period. The sun does not represent fortune or an easy path stoner Virgo. It represents action and impact. Your decisions and work will definitely show results in the May time period. However, the equivocation of my words represent the dynamic nature of these results. The sunshine of May promises action, but not necessarily positive action.

Early in the month, puff puff plan with the sacred herb. It will be important to see the world from high in the clouds. With this high view with a third eye lense you will be able to see the landscape in front of you and plan for the action ahead. For entrepreneurs and workers stuck in the grind of the machine, this 10,000 foot view of the working landscape will provide more insight into how to approach problems that lay ahead. Remember stoner Virgo, action will be sure to result from your decisions in May. If the results of decisions are unclear, then maybe the problem or project should be left for a future time period. The view from high in the clouds should give you better perspective early in the month on how to proceed.

With all these words of warning stoner Virgo, understand that the sun is shining down on you. With a puff puff plan of attack and third eye vision, you will most definately see the action you desire from your efforts.

In the sphere of love and emotion, the stoner Virgo should not look for the impactful action expected in the work sphere. Understand that any negative emotional experience with family or a cannabis companion can be simply rectified with a sincere apology. Communication and patching up little squabbles is important for all parties. Single stoner Virgos must watch out for money issues with new love interests. Do not read into the relation of money or spending on the inner thoughts of a new love interest or cannabis companion.

I have a playlist song for you this month stoner Virgo. Gain confidence from the tune, T.G.I.F by Kid Cudi.

TAURUS MAY 2017

Stoner Taurus, the final Spring time period will be a positive time period, even if you may not realize it every moment. Cosmic forces have gathered to bestow upon the stoner Taurus a twinkle of luck in May. This blessing of fortune will be in relation to work and money, but at the very least it will also influence enjoyment of work and coworkers. There will also be evidence of “luck” in the stoner Taurus’ love life in the May time period, but this sprinkle of luck may not be so easily recognizable upon first glance.

Warning: Be sure to keep your cannabis activism and enjoyment separate from your work sphere in the May time period. Enjoyment of work and your coworkers will lead to a relaxed attitude. Coming together with coworkers and enjoying your work days will be a blessing, but understand the separation of work and play. There will be plenty of time to burn one down with your cannabis companions after the day of work is done.

How exciting stoner Taurus! The May time period will bring the opportunity to expand your influence and reward in the workplace. Whether you work for the man and expand your role, or work for yourself and expand your empire; expansion is the key word presented to all stoner Tauruses in May.

It is the sphere of love and companionship that becomes the most complex in May stoner Taurus. You will need the full vision of your third eye to gain patience and understanding through cloudy circumstances. Meditative smoke sessions will benefit the stoner Taurus tremendously in this regard. It will be imperative to see the unseen in matters of love and companionship. The sacred herb will help you see through the ambiguity of fake news, and understand the positivity available through truth. There may be a universal bait and switch on your plans with love and companionship. Things may not turn out in any way along the timeline or path you’ve laid out. Trust and understand that the cosmos is on your side with positivity despite any breaks in your immediate plans.

SCORPIO MAY 2017

Stoner Scorpio, the universe is about to take you on a ride. The May time period will be like that strong edible you accidentally ate too much of. Cosmic waves of emotion and experience will wash over you in May. Just when things calm to the point of understanding, the next set of waves will hit. Don’t be scared. This flurry of activity is not negative in nature or punishing in action.

Stay calm and dab on stoner Scorpio. The gates have closed, safety straps are in place, and the ride is in motion. Understanding the why’s and the how’s of this universal carnival ride is unobtainable. Relax and trust in the cosmos that everything will be allright. Whenever you find yourself contemplating the reasoning of the universe and your place on this edible roller coaster of endless crashing waves, breathe and let it be. All safety equipment is in place, so let go and enjoy the ride.

Control is not something you struggle with stoner Scorpio. Giving up control to the universe will be mandatory to surviving the twists and turns of the cosmic blessing thrown at you in the final Spring time period. In the end: Trust your environment. Trust your cannabis companions. Trust your judgement. Trust your loved ones. Trust you will come down. This trust and belief will keep you safe on the wild journey of May. Negativity will only creep in if you try to control or understand the nature of the cosmic ride. Yes stoner Scorpio, I usually encourage depth of thought and inner understanding, but in May ignorance is bliss! Meditative smoke sessions should focus on repair and rest versus contemplation and guidance.

Playlist songs have been coming to me this month. The playlist song for the stoner Scorpio in May is Float On by Modest Mouse.

SAGITTARIUS MAY 2017

Sagittarius, the seeds that you planted months ago are beginning to ripen and bear fruit. That is to say, your investments are clearly paying off. As long as you keep your focus on the final goals and do your best to maintain this level of achievement, you will be able to continue this positive momentum. Keep on and smoke strong, stoner Sag, but don’t lose sight of your ultimate goals. Whether you measure your success by monetary values or interpersonal relationships, you can expect to see continual growth. If you are willing to invest in your new undertakings the way you have into past endeavors, then there is no reason you should not experience similar success.

With regards to the workplace, Sagittarius, the best advice is to “dream big!” Don’t sell yourself short, Sag. The only person that can hold you back is you. While there will always be critics to tell you what you can’t do, it will be up to you to show them exactly what you can achieve. Regardless of how close you are to your coworkers, it is probably best to keep your success separate from your smoke circle. Sometimes, you will need to blow off steam about your work peers, and it will be best to do so with confidants that you don’t work alongside.

While you might want to share some of your positive achievements or help those around you succeed, sometimes you have to let others go it alone. You may offer your support to those close to you, but you cannot do everything for them. The best thing you can do is to be a shining example. Instead of being the one who always rolls one up, it is better to teach others how to roll on their own. This way, you can enable others to be successful without having to rely exclusively on your help.

PISCES MAY 2017

Stoner Pisces, you have much that you can accomplish, so do not fear when things do not fall in-line with your intended goals. You have spent the time looking forward to the goals you have in mind, and you will be successful in accomplishing said results. So, don’t get burdened down by the bumps in the road, or let the pessimistic thoughts distract you from your official goals. The stars are on your side and seek to advance your goals, without trying your intentions too much.

When it comes to the work environment, you have much to gain by staying the course. Your personal success, will only spill over into the workplace and your peers will only benefit from your positive example. Remember that when issues arise, that they may be self-inflicted. As long as you are able to keep the long-term as your main focus, the small things will resolve themselves. You have your own list of, ‘to-dos.’ If you are able to maintain this focus on the goals you wish to accomplish, then nothing will stand in the way of reaching success.

You may be apprehensive, Stoner Pisces, but when it comes to new endeavors, do not fear embarking into new territories. In order to maintain your current relations, little will be required. Therefore, you will have plenty of resources that will encourage new interactions and encounters. As long as you have your closest cannabis companions nearby, you will be ready to handle the unexpected surprises when they occur. You have set into motion the actions necessary to achieve your desired outcome. If you are able to maintain this focus, then you will arrive at your desired results.

LIBRA MAY 2017

Stoner Libra, the universe will test your skills at twisting and turning in the May time period. But this test falls right into your skill set to seek balance in problems and opportunities. Twist one up and burn one down stoner Libra; your skills are suited for success in the final Spring month. Meditative smoke sessions should focus on success and confidence. The stars have aligned to bless you with a fruitful month, but do not reach for the stars. The only cosmic limitations placed on your success will be the highs of your achievements.

Tasks and problems in the workplace will be no match for you stoner Libra. As you bend, twist, and turn your way through May you will feel like a magician, impressing all around you. As your confidence grows and problems are whisked away with your magic morphing skills, remember that there is a ceiling to your powers and achievements. As long as you maintain a conservative path with your efforts, you should be able to conquer all. Let’s save that half gram dab or multi gram joint for another time stoner Libra.

The same positive cosmic influence regarding situations of love and companionship will hold true in the May time period. That person you’ve had your eye on … that smoke circle you’ve wanted to join … that family member you’ve wished to come closer … all reasonable desires are possible in May stoner Libra. As long as you don’t ask too much of those around you, everything is attainable. Cosmic kush smoke signals can definitely be seen regarding the possibilities of increasing your social smoke circle. Have confidence in yourself and your socially adaptive skills stoner Libra. Add Baby I’m a Star by Prince to your playlist. This will be a great mantra or theme for the stoner Libra in May.

LEO MAY 2017

Stoner Leo, the yellow brick road will disappear in May. Though you will lose sight f the path in front of you, this does not mean you will lose direction of forward progress. Resolve and resilience must outweigh reluctance and reticence in the May time period stoner Leo. Meditative smoke sessions should focus on a deep dive into your inner self. Personal understanding and confidence will be the key to unlocking the cosmic blessing of May.

Things will not go your way in the May time period stoner Leo; at least not at first, or even second attempts. Your cannabis companions, family, and coworkers will be relying on you to get up and try try again. Inhale the magic wonder of the sacred herb. Meditative smoke breaks will allow new ideas and a new direction to form around the obstacle blocking your path. Perseverance isn’t banging your head repeatedly against a wall. It is the confidence to try again with renewed energy and effort.

The most important aspect of the May time period is confidence you will find the path once again through the cosmic fog. Be warned stoner Leo, there will be repercussions if you fall into the trap of depression and/or self pity. Know yourself and your kind selections. It may be best to stay away from deep Indica strains if you are susceptible to coping and self pity. An energetic Sativa or hybrid may be your prescription to problem solving in May.

Reluctance to form a new plan or reassess your surroundings will leave you stuck in cosmic limbo. You aren’t just fighting for yourself stoner Leo, your perseverance will impact cannabis companions, family, and coworkers. These sage words apply to both your work sphere and personal life. With confidence, attentiveness, and determination you will be able to solve any problem and leap any obstacle in your way in the final Spring month.

GEMINI MAY 2017

Stoner Gemini, your quest for higher highs will be attainable in the final Spring time period. Cosmic influences have aligned to provide your largest desires an opportunity of fulfillment. It doesn’t matter which side of your personality you choose unveil in May, there will only be one antagonist capable of keeping you from great highs. Meditative smoke sessions should focus on self confidence stoner Gemini. The largest limitation to achievement in the May time period will be the restrictions you place on yourself.

You can achieve great results in the workplace stoner Gemini. Most profits will come from plans and action you have already laid the groundwork for. Now is the time for decisive bold actions to achieve your goals. Both Gemini stoners stuck in the corporate grind, and stoner Gemini business owners can benefit from cosmic blessings in May. Self confidence and definitive action will lead you down a golden path. However, be forewarned stoner Gemini, self confidence is very different from self serving. Do not discard the thoughts or emotions of your fellow cosmic travelers or the universal blessing could flip in a negative direction.

Positive treatment of loved ones and cannabis companions will be tantamount to success in the sphere of emotion and love for the stoner Gemini in the final Spring time period. Breathe, inhale, and let it be stoner Gemini. Understanding the perspective of others will help you navigate emotional land mines that may pop up like spring flowers. As long as you feed your head with positive mantras you will keep your head with others. Empathy and sympathy will bring you closer to cosmic travelers that may not have the same universal blessings as you do in May. Take time to share a bowl with a friend and listen to their troubles, then you can share with them all of your plans to conquer the world.

CAPRICORN MAY 2017

Stoner Capricorn, the final time period of Spring will require great strength. You will not be moving mountains, actually the opposite stoner Capricorn. Internal strength will be required to plot forward despite no universal support on your side. Picture yourself in the eye of a storm. Violent movement and action swirls around you, but in the eye of the storm you are left stagnant and frozen. Long Term planning and instinctual vision will be hampered in May. These words are not an omen of destruction stoner Capricorn, but simple a guide to understanding your position in May.

Early in the May time period, curl up with a nice deep purple kush Indica. Allow yourself entertainment time with the sacred herb to better understand your position in May. Movies like Cube, Life of Pi, and Snowpiercer would be perfect for this relaxing movie night. We may all be trapped at one point in life, but in the end everything will work out.

Don’t misunderstand stoner Capricorn; the cosmos has not cursed you in the May. There are plenty of actions you can take to combat this stagnant period to progress your agenda. The most important actions focus on the short term. At work and in life, tackle the problems and tasks that are right in front of you. Knocking immediate tasks off your to do list will help prepare you for when the storm returns to life.

Meditative smoke sessions with the sacred herb are best alone in May stoner Capricorn. Your cannabis companions will not understand the universal stagnation you’ve been dropped into. By focusing on yourself, and plotting forward with an immediate to do list, you will float through May with a better understanding of your surroundings. Just like that trippy movie, at the end of the time period the sunshine of summer and the warm breath of the cosmos will bring a new light to your life.