Virgo

The Stoner Virgo is an independant soul that has strong introspective meditative skills with smoke sessions. The virgin is no rookie with cannabis.

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Virgo June 2016

Stoner Virgo, I am afraid to say the roller coaster ride of May will continue into June.  Last month my words were all about self-confidence and rationalisation.  The period of June will be a little different even if it seems you are riding the same never-ending roller coaster.  The sacred herb will be your ally in June.  One of the many powers of cannabis is the ability to provide perspective and understanding.  Seeing yourself in the world around you will be important to get you through this carnival ride.

With respect to your work life, you will be just fine stoner, Virgo.  The cosmos may be swirling all around you in June, but your confidence and knowledge of your job will leave you unharmed in the workplace.

The cosmic tempest that you must brace for comes full force in matters of love.  The roller coaster of May keeps on trucking into June with a loud “clack-clack” ratcheting you higher and higher into peril.  Whoa stoner Virgo, that is pretty heavy.  Do not fret or puke, this ride will come to an end eventually.  With the power of the sacred herb, you must see yourself in your situation from an outside perspective.  This exercise in meditation will give you the confidence to trust yourself because even in emotional moments you are capable of making the right decision.  In the end, you are capable of living and thriving with whatever decision you make.

Virgo May 2016

Stoner Virgo, you cannot get off this ride.  You paid for the ticket, the belts are locked, and the cars are in motion.  The beginning of the month will be like the ascent of the ride.  During this early stage of the month take the time to meditate with the sacred herb and focus on self-confidence.  If you know there is a giant drop or twists and turns coming, you should be able to rationalize that you will be just fine.  You have the proper tools to make it through the ride unscathed.

In regards to your workplace, you are the master of your realm.  You need to write down your measurable, attainable, and acceptable goals.  You can accomplish your goals with thoughtful, organized, and concerted effort.  You know all this, work is easy, right?

Is it a twist, a turn, or a drop that is in front of you stoner Virgo?  The cosmos is swirling and the clouds are dark near the end of May.  In the last 10 days of the period, your loving emotions can run wild.  Self-confidence and self-belief will get you through any scary dip or drop that you may not be expecting.  The meditative session with the sacred herb in the beginning of the month can save your nerves at the end of the month.  Just like the redundant safety mechanisms on the carnival ride, you have built wonderful stabilizing features to your life.  Breathe deep, the answers and solutions are inside.

Virgo April 2016

Stoner Virgo, grab your cannabis companion and hold tight.  April will be a rough road on the cosmic highway.  The good news is that you possess some of the best shock absorbers in the celestial kingdom.  Your instincts, decision-making, judgement, and tenacity will be tested in April as a cosmic headwind will sear at your skin for the entire month.  The sacred herb can be your soothing ointment.  I do not have a cannabis strain to recommend this month stoner Virgo.  It will be crucial for you to maintain steadfast attention, calm confidence, and keen intelligence as you travel on this rough road.  

Now that you understand the gravity of the situation, please understand you are capable of making it through April unscathed and unhurt.  You have all the tools to tackle each problem one bump at a time.  Part of the solution is actually knowing the problem is coming.  Take heed and prepare yourself early in the month.  Focus your meditations on surrounding yourself with a cosmic force field.  These internal preparations will give you the fortitude to weather any situation that presents itself.  Remember this, sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is to set it aside until you have developed a way to deal with it.
Stoner Virgo, your love life in April will be as if the cosmos is illuminating the most insecure part of your relationship.  For those of you lucky in love, please have confidence that healing old wounds will take your relationship out of the darkness and into the light.  For those of you Stoner Virgo’s without a cannabis companion or balancing a disingenuous relationship, the cosmic light will place a giant mirror in front of your love life.  You will not be able to escape the truth.

Virgo March 2016

Virgo stoner, you are a powerful being.  March brings a particularly strong and powerful month for the Virgo stoner.  However, I must say this early and clearly:  You must stay grounded in March and give care to your soul as much as your work ambitions.  The sacred herb will be your grounding wire to the electric month of March.

Stoner Virgo, one of your best attributes is your ability to organize and execute tasks in the workplace.  Taking on more work and responsibility is second nature to you.  This ability will be amplified in March as you will become a task master.  New endeavors will present themselves that may seem amazing and fortuitous.  However stoner Virgo, you must keep yourself grounded.  Before jumping at opportunities please take your future self into consideration.  Life is about more than work and money.  Decisions that may seem easy and “can’t miss” in March may keep you from passions and family in the future.  Your cannabis grounding wire will be essential to factor in humility and your future self when making these important decisions.

March will also be a powerful and potentially magical time for the stoner Virgo’s personal life.  New relationships can form and peripheral relationships can bond.  Life will be like wearing cosmic goggles that allow you to see more clearly than you have in the past, or will in the future.  Just remember your cannabis grounding wire stoner, Virgo.  Your loved ones do not have the cosmic goggles.  A powerful being can hurt if they don’t take their loved one’s perspective into consideration with care.

Virgo February 2016

Stoner Virgo, you will be hot in February.  There is a strong warm cosmic wind at your back.  The planets have aligned, and the universe has blessed you with extraordinary powers for the February period.  Good fortune and accomplishment only come to those that act stoner Virgo.  The universe can present you with opportunities, but it is you alone that stand responsible for the results.  

Please stoner Virgo, don’t get too cocky.  Take time to meditate with the sacred herb to help keep you grounded.  Negativity will only come in February to the stoner Virgo that doesn’t keep his head.  Negative traps lie in overconfidence as much as they do in complacency.  One of the most wonderful healing powers of the sacred herb is the plant’s ability to reveal yourself to you (RIP Bob Marley).  Meditate with the sacred herb to keep you grounded and humble in February stoner Virgo.

No two snowflakes are the same.  The same may be true of Virgos as well.  Stoner Virgos that are self employed or in a leadership position may have a completely different outlook on the month of February from those stoner Virgos that are unemployed or work for someone else.  The cosmos will not differentiate between these types of Virgos, but the results of hard work and success will be different.  Entrepreneurial Virgos and those in direct positions to benefit financially from hard work and success will see the fruits of their labor in February.  Worker bee Virgos will benefit from the same energy and ability to accomplish tasks in February, but the manifestation of results will be delayed.

Warning: Do not let the power go to your head.  One trap in February is for the stoner Virgo to spread themselves too thin trying to apply their magic to everything in front of them.  Perhaps being more selective and thorough will see stronger results.

Virgo January 2016

Stoner Virgo, January will be a bit of a mixed bag.  One key to the month is knowing that you cannot control everything in your life.  No matter what your religious affiliation is, the stoner Virgo must give themselves up to the cosmos.  Smoke a bowl, clear your head, and meditate on positive affirmations.

From the perspective of work and business, the stoner Virgo will be an ass kicker in January.  Go out there and get the job done!  Hit the ground running in January, and it may positively affect the entire year.  Use all of your strengths.  Organization and energy is your competitive advantage.  There are no roadblocks in your way.

The stoner Virgo’s love life and personal relationships with family will be the source of the major challenges in January.  The sacred herb can help you stay calm and see perspectives outside of yourself.  You can’t control loving outcomes so relax and enjoy the ride.  The less pressure you put on others in January the better off you will be.  If you are in an existing relationship, you should consider counseling and or a renewed openness to heartfelt communication.

Here is your mission in January stoner Virgo:  Go out there and be a monster at work and a cuddly bear at home.  You may not be able to control circumstances, but you can control your reactions.

Virgo December 2015

Stoner Virgo, December will be quite the roller coaster, strap in for safety. I know you don’t like the term bipolar, but your ability to compartmentalize triumphs and tragedy will serve you well in December. The cosmic winds will be swirling around you during this period. You will feel the burn of a frigid headwind one day and the warmth of the cosmic winds at your back the next. Your ability to weather both forces will be the key to surviving and thriving in December.

In regards to your workplace, you must be on a full defensive posture. Know thyself, you must select the sacred herb with the highest productive properties for you. Avoid any strains that lower your defenses and open you up to attack mentally. The area of work will be where you feel the most head winds in December. Two things will get you through your work: 1. A positive and diligent work ethic. 2. Calm restraint with coworkers, bosses, and or employees.

Work may feel like a Metallica album, but your love life should open up like a Michael Franti jam. Everything is possible in December for the stoner Virgo. If love and romance is what you seek, it will be found. If you seek friendship and social community contact, you can find it during this period. Please keep this key factor in mind stoner Virgo; you are in charge, not the universe. The largest factor for failure will be you. Do not let the pressures of work affect how you treat people in your personal life. Protect at work, thrive in life.

Virgo November 2015

The universal energies in November are going to cause the stoner Virgo some unusually odd occurrences.  You may need to keep your pipe full of indica this month as things will not go according to plan for you my cannabis companion.  Knowing this in advance, you need to put a lid on your analytical side.  There will be no way to make sense of all the insanity surrounding you.  The indica will allow you to watch and learn without having to become overly involved.  This month’s energies are not aimed at you specifically.  Ergo you should be able to skate by this very trying time with little bruises if you choose to be prepared.  Which cannot be said for most of the zodiac.

With every sign in the cosmos having a hard time you will need to watch your tone and tongue with your personal relationships.  Do not allow your harshly overcritical self to show its face in November.  It’s normal for you expect perfection or nothing at all:  Virgo you will greatly miss out on the beauty of this lifetime if you do not cage that beast.  Kind words and affection will go a long way for you in November.  IF you choose to pay attention to this you will be rewarded and any spats you find yourself in will easily be concluded.  Use that charisma and let your love light shine.

Work for my stoner Virgo’s should be amiable.  If you have taken all proper considerations into account, set up all back up plans and have made all the right moves you should easily attain your goals this month.  The sharks are out there and they are waiting on your to slip up.  Being your very prepared self you can avoid any contact with them if you did in fact take all necessary precautions.

Although November may not be the best month of 2015 for you my stoner Virgo; stay prepared, be kind, and you will puff puff pass right through this odd month.  

Virgo October 2015

Stoner Virgo, for the month of October the cosmos will remain fairly neutral as an impacting force in your life.  This non action by the universe will squarely put the power of impact into your hands.  During this period you should think of consolidation of power and influence, not expansion of your worldly influence.  This is where the trap of October lies for the Virgo stoner, complacency and stagnation.

The cosmic seas are calm in October for the Virgo stoner, but this means all the power to move rests in your hands.  Your business or workplace will not provide a dynamic platform this month.  It will be most important to consolidate your power and influence in the workplace.  October is a great month to shore up your current standing or position in the company, or build a wall around your market-share in business.

I will give you two themes for relationship success in October Virgo stoner:  Appreciation and Honor.

October is a great time to meditate on your current personal standing in the universe.  You must honor and appreciate what you have.  Break out the most potent Indica species of the sacred herb and enjoy a deeply contemplative meditation on your relationship to your fellow humans.  Honor and appreciation can be found in every status, whether you are single, dating, or married.  If you have been frustrated or depressed about your relationship status, this could be a great exercise to break negative patterns and open a new chapter of love and happiness.  It all starts within yourself.

Virgo September 2015

Virgo stoner, the blessings of August were merely a training ground for the opportunities of September.  Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  This message of inspiration and action are pointed directly at the Virgo stoner in September.

Celestial bodies are colliding in the cosmos and raining positive emanations down on the Virgo stoner in September.  This isn’t the time to lay down and sun bathe.  Gandhi’s inspirational words imply that action is required to affect the change you want to see in your life and this world.  The universe is giving you the positive green light to “be” in September, but you cannot waste this opportunity.  The blessings of the cosmos will be wasted if you do not act.

No matter what your station is in the machine of society, the cosmos has blessed you with an opportunity in September.  Meditate with the sacred herb early in the month.  Get your ideas and thoughts organized because September is the time to execute them.  Self employed Virgo stoners will have an easier time impacting the universe with change, but even the corporate warrior will be powerful in September.  Be wary stoner Virgo, this is not the time to lay back with couch lock and bask in the glow of the cosmos.  Ghandi’s wonderful message is one of action.  Be creative.  Be organized.  Be ambitious.  Be generous.  You must BE!