Virgo

Earth Sign – The Virgin – August 23 – September 22

Nothing gets passed the stoner Virgo. The virgin of the stoner Zodiac is detail oriented, and always knows who’s holding the good green. No smoke circle is complete without this practical stoner. They may not know the most exotic smoke spots, but the stoner Virgo will always find a safe smoke spot.

The stoner Virgo is hyper-aware and often hyperactive. Calming strains like Granddaddy Purple and Jack Herer can help ease anxiety and bring more clarity to Virgo’s manic mind. The sacred herb in general helps the stoner Virgo ease the tension of living with a perfectionist’s aspirations.

The stoner Virgo is the perfect canna-buddy to help solve a problem or organize an idea. And this kind kush toker will always arrive on time to help a fellow cannabis companion.

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Virgo Stoner Horoscope January

Stoner Virgo you are a unique terrestrial astronaut flying through the galaxy on our cosmic spaceship.  You are a hard worker; organized in your routine and ambitious undertakings.  This month will provide a break from routine.  Prepare to feed your head instead of the to-do list in January.  There may be uncomfortable aspects to the second Winter month, but with the sacred herb as your spiritual guide, you can navigate these unfamiliar spaces with great personal progress.  Different isn’t a dirty word my anal retentive stoner, sometimes it can be an opportunity.

Stoner Virgo there is a specific opportunity presented by a universal influence to innovate within the work sphere.  In the days preceding the New Moon of the 12th, make time for a group strategy session.  If you are able to combust the sacred herb with your coworkers, perhaps ideas and plans will illuminate with the passing of a joint.  No matter the method or occupation, be sure to lead, communicate, and collaborate before the New Moon.

As a double dose of positivity, a universal influence will give a positive push to personal endeavors in the days after the New Moon of the 12th.  Toke time to meditate with the sacred herb, and take time for a passion project or hobby that has gone neglected during busy past periods.

Busy bird stoner Virgo.  There may be parts of January that drift without winds of action.  For an active stoner, the lack of motion can bring boredom or even depression.  Do not fight these moments of cosmic malaise stoner Virgo.  These moments are an opportunity.  Select an Indica cannabis strain from your sacred stash jar for these moments.  Toke time to reflect on the hurried and busy nature of yourself, and the world.  Perhaps you need a break, and now is the time.  It is in these medicated meditative moments with the sacred herb where you might find new direction in personal health.  Cosmic stagnation can lead to personal epiphanies.  Use the sacred herb to transfer moments of possible boredom or depression into moments of contemplation and recovery.  Feed your head stoner Virgin.  Take care of mind, body, and spirit.

Virgo Stoner Horoscope December

Stoner Virgo the month of December sets up like an older stoner classic, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Two opposite worlds will combine for straight fire this month.  And, as with the sandwich, the ingredients and process will be easy to procure and execute.

First the peanut butter, the foundational glue to the delicious delite.  The holiday season can be stressful.  Always somewhere to go and something to do can compound into an overwhelming task list that ends in anxiety.  To get through this period my analytical Virgin, you must keep a keen eye on the battery charge within your cosmic spacesuit.  Even the best task master takes time for a break between hard charges.  This month you must toke time for self at opportune moments.  Use the sacred herb at the right times to break free from terrestrial stress and recharge your proverbial batteries.  These solo smoke breaks with the sacred herb will provide the sticky glue of solitude that keeps the sandwich of success together.

And now stoner Virgo, the jelly.  The jelly adds the excitement to the stoner classic munchie.  The wonderful blessing of the holiday season is all the opportunities for celebratory gatherings within the canna-fam and the extended smoke circle.  It is predicted that the well-rested stoner Virgo will be living the high life in December.  Make sure you have your portable smoke kit and stash jar ready to roll, because this month you will be flying high from one smoke out to the next.

I have a specific prescription for the New Moon of the 14th.  Toke time with a cannabis companion to appreciate the relationship and terrestrial home built together.  Roast bowls and cuddle up for a night in.  For single stoner Virgo’s this time is equally important.  Peak emotional winds could be blowing through your house during the New Moon.  Stay in, sink deep into a solo smoke session, and contemplate appreciation for how you got to this sacred position on our terrestrial plane.

Remember stoner Virgo, balance is the key to success and progress in December.  Too much peanut butter will choke a dry cotton mouth.  Too much jelly might send you into a tailspin of sugar burn out.  But, together with proper balance, you have the perfect treat that will satisfy any stoner within the Zodiac.

Dragon Shooter Steamroller

Virgo Stoner Horoscope November

Stoner Virgo not all periods of Mercury retrograde are created equally.  As you have learned in the past couple weeks, perhaps you are well equipped with cosmic traits that can thrive during such periods.  Inhale the calming nature of the sacred herb.  Recent frustrations and communication breakdowns will twist like a finely rolled joint into a period of great progress and understanding.  Sometimes it takes a rough patch to learn how thick our skin is.  Put Breakdown by Guns N Roses on your playlist; November is going to be rockin!

I have a specific task for your organized to-do list stoner Virgo:  Declutter.  Toke time early in the month to pack your favorite pipe with your favorite strain.  Use the sacred herb to enhance a productive smoke session crossing t’s and dotting i’s that remain from previous periods.  This medicated exercise with the sacred herb will cleanse the past, and free the future.

Now stoner Virgo, with a clean slate the real magic can occur.  The New Moon of the 14th marks an important period of great creativity and idea generation.  Typical of a stoner Virgo, once you clean your plate, you are ready to fill it back up again.  I recommend filling your stash jar with a sweet Sativa dominant hybrid cannabis strain for this period of great ingenuity.  Amnesia Haze should fill the pipe perfectly.  However, be forewarned:  Do not over extend on execution during this period.  Let the ideas and plans flow.  Memorialize them on paper or digital mediums, but don’t jump too quick to manifest them.  Perhaps this period will fill your days in the future, executing your amazing plans and ideas.  But for now, put out the bucket, and catch the rain of inspiration.

Be ready my energetic Virgin.  The new cycle of energy and flow will bring fellow terrestrial astronauts to your door.  Literally.  Don’t fret, I know your energetic style can mask trepidation for human contact, but the current universal influence will bring positivity and confidence to your outward expressions.  Seek balance with the sacred herb.  Seek out and fill your grinder with a high CBD cannabis strain.  The calming and soothing nature of this light stoney strain will keep the claustrophobic walls from closing in when social smoke circles occur.  Trust yourself stoner Virgo, you got this!

Virgo Stoner Horoscope October

Stoner Virgo October brings influential and impactful influence from the universe.  As the seed transforms into the flowering bud, there are many crucial actions and moments along the path.  The second Fall month is a potentially transformative period with long-term impacts for the stoner Virgin.

Stoner Virgo a grand harvest always starts with a seed.  You can’t consume ripe big buds without the first phase of the process.  Any grand project works in a similar way.  Every worthwhile endeavor starts with the seed of an idea.  In the same respect, those big beautiful buds will not grow without care and attention.  No idea grows into a grand event without follow-up effort and work.  Combust the sacred herb stoner Virgo to flush out the seeds of inspiration.  Then use the sacred herb as a catalyst to develop and nurture your grand plan.  Universal influence in October supports the nurtured growth of positive ideas, and all the work surrounding them.  Follow your inspiration, and build the foundation for big buds of success.

Many of the seeds of brilliance come from sacred instinct inside of you stoner Virgo.  In October, do not resist your instinct.  Your herbally enhanced third eye is wide open.  Feed it the green goodness it needs, and follow your cosmic vision.  This recipe of internal confidence will affect more than just your business efforts.  In October this sacred path will lead to the seeds of romance as well.  Whether you are partnered-up, or single roaming the terrestrial plain, positive results will come from trusting your third eye instincts.  No deep meditative dives with the sacred herb are required, but a steady diet of herbal enhancement will assist your romantic mission.

Stoner Virgo all spheres of life could be intertwined in the second Fall month.  Business, romantic, and even the physical health of your cosmic space suit all fall under the same sacred prescription.  And in many ways they could all feed the progression of each other.  Follow your instincts!  There are many medical benefits to the essence of the sacred herb.  Perhaps your third eye knowledge will take you on a new path of natural health directives.  Physical fitness of your cosmic space suit is paramount to a healthy terrestrial existence.  But each astronaut has a unique regiment of exercise that works best for them.

Stoner Virgo this is your prescription for October:  Embrace the grind, consume the green, plant seeds of inspiration, trust yourself, and celebrate with the canna-fam.  Plant, nurture, harvest.

Dragon Shooter Steamroller

Virgo Stoner Horoscope September

Stoner Virgo September brings cosmic blessings the likes of which have not been seen all year.  Yup, it will be a heaping bowl of green powered positivity this month. A shifting landscape may throw others off their feet, but not you, not this month stoner Virgo.  Herbal wings of positivity will keep you upright and moving forward toward progress.

Double down on the waves of positivity with the Lamb’s Bread Sativa strain.  Keep your stash jar filled to the rim.  Pinch or dip into it as much as you want this month.  You will already be floating, there is nothing stopping you from going even higher.

For single stoner Virgos there might be a smoke circle hook up in store in September!  For all other Virgins in the stoner Zodiac, this month may not be as innocent as your chart leads people to believe.  Once again the Lamb’s Bread cannabis prescription suits your romantic condition nicely.  Be sure to keep your mood and desires energetic and uplifting.  Your crush will appreciate the attention!  One important instruction to help you on your heart-filled travels stoner Virgo:  Listen.  Your cannabis companion or smoke circle crush will find your listening skills sexy.  An active listener is sure to be rewarded.

The work and business sphere may not be on the same elevated plain as the sphere of romance, but it will float on with pace and positivity.  All you need to solve problems, and leap over obstacles, are within your wonderful set of stoner traits.  Keep scratching off that to-do list my anal retentive stoner Virgo.  Obstacles are sure to pop up during the month, but they will easily be solved with a little patience and contemplation.  If you get stuck, be sure to take a step back, and contemplate the problem with a higher perspective induced by the sacred herb. 

Nothing can hold you back this month as long as you maintain your groovy lifted vibe, and stay steady on the grind.

Dragon Shooter Steamroller

Virgo Stoner Horoscope August

Stoner Virgo the month of August sets up to be quite a wonderful period filled with cosmic progress and stoney companionship.  But the best news is this:  All that is required from the universe is within you my stoner Virgin.  Your cannabis prescription for August is open, so long as your natural traits, and wonderful nature, are unimpeded from leading you into the terrestrial fray.

In August there is a blessing from the planetary alignment that will expand your social wavelength.  Embrace a new comfortability within the crowd stoner Virgo.  Your smoke circle will almost certainly expand this month, and communion with the canna-crew will hold the key to personal progress.  You will almost certainly feel the increase in vibration through your meditations with the sacred herb, and your fellow tokin terrestrial astronauts.

Don’t forget to be yourself!  Stoner Virgo you have a natural instinct for organization and truth.  Your perceptive mind and strong spirit are a blessing from the cosmos.  So often your strength of spirit and analytical nature can get you into trouble.  These experiences have caused anxiety and a cautious approach in the past.  Not this month stoner Virgo!  Let your freak flag fly, and your fellow tokin terrestrial astronauts will bring support and appreciation. 

The month ends with complex cosmic conundrums.  Problems will come in the form of puzzles, but you can solve them stoner Virgo.  The cannabis prescription may be open for most of the month, but after the 24th, your sacred stash box must contain Sativa cannabis strains.  Energy, focus, and clarity will be required to finish the month with strength of spirit and progress at heart.  See through the traps of crossed wires with your herbally enhanced third eye vision.  Keeping the peace while analyzing that crucial puzzle piece will ensure the progress of the month is banked for future time periods.

Virgo Stoner Horoscope July

Stoner Virgo the greenest gardens do not happen by luck.  It takes effort and considerable care if you want those big, dense, and frosty buds when harvest time comes.  The same applies to any other project and goal; whether you are planting this season’s crop, or planning the rest of your summer.  Embrace the process stoner Virgo:  Plan, prepare, and implement.  If you do this, you can expect positive results for all of your endeavors this July.  A word of caution for both literal and metaphorical gardens:  Don’t over water!  While it takes continual, and concerted, effort to see your investments bloom, you can do more harm than help by over tending.  Do what is needed to help shape outcomes, but don’t interfere too much.  Nothing grows faster just because we are constantly watching.

You may be conflicted as to how to feel about the commencement of summer stoner Virgo.  On one hand, you have the promise of long and hazy days; on the other, a fear that a stop-and-go cadence at work could hinder your productivity.  Don’t worry my lovely stoner Virgin, this summer you can be both efficient in your grind, and effective in your recreation.  Strive to maintain efficiency during work time, and fully embrace those moments set aside for leisure.  Enjoy the evenings relaxing and reflecting with your favorite strains.  Toke time to smell, and smoke, the flowers.  With the mind and spirit rested, you will be better equipped to take on whatever challenges await you when you get back to the office.  

Stoner Virgo, you are not the only one feeling restless after an indecisive spring.  Other stoner Zodiac signs have their stash jars filled, and are ready to join you on your terrestrial travels.  So load up, and get ready to light up stoner Virgo!  But remember that it’s okay to be selective with who you ultimately decide to invite on your cosmic space cruise.  While you may have many candidates who are down to roll, keep the smoke circle contained to those closest in your canna-crew.  This way you can truly relax and recreate:  Sharing the sunsets, the sacred herb, and all the season’s blessings with your partners-in-chronic, without the pressure of entertaining someone new.

Virgo Stoner Horoscope June

Stoner Virgo, what goes up must come down, that much is known.  The true test of grit and determination is remembering that even if we fall, we can get back up again; and in most cases, make it to greater highs than you were before the fall.  You may feel discouraged during the first weeks of June while reminiscing on all the mad wins of May.  The transition to Summer may not be as hot as you imagined, but you will have plenty of opportunities to puff, puff, pick yourself up.  Select sacred cannabis strains relevant to the circumstance, stoner Virgo.  Avoid stimulating Sativas in the evening when it is time to unwind, and similarly don’t become couch-locked with a deep Indica if you partake in a morning roast and toast.  If you embrace the sacred sensimilla with a practical, sensible approach, it can be the catalyst needed to get you back on cloud nine.

Stoner Virgo, it can be disheartening at times to see others win big on their first attempt, while you wait for the fruits of your unending labor to finally blossom.  Don’t worry about what others are doing, you’re in it for the long haul.  There are few who question your diligence, and even more who will be ready, and willing, to join forces on big picture issues.  If you are fortunate enough to toke with your coworkers, make sure meditative and creative smoke sessions are plentiful and productive.  Otherwise, even if you enjoy your marijuana meditations solo, be sure to share your inspirations and insights with your peers when you’re back to the mission on Monday.

Stoner Virgo you are more than capable of blazing your way toward summer, charting new territories and seeking out new smoke spots by yourself.  However, we both know it will be more fun with a cannabis cohort in tow.  Whether this person is your longtime partner-in-chronic, or a recently acquainted smoke buddy, bring along the canna-crew on your smoky adventures.  While the challenges of work will not disappear, it will be difficult to dwell when the weekend comes.  Keep the stash jar loaded; cannabis companions will be down to ride and willing to help lighten the load.  By the second half of the month, you and all of your ganja-loving friends will find your cosmic grooves.  The only thing that will be required of you during this time, is to keep the sacred herb close, and good company even closer.

Virgo Stoner Horoscope May

Stoner Virgo May promises to be a time of uncertainty:  Cosmic rain, followed by sun rays, followed by cloudy chaos.  But you wouldn’t have it any other way, would you my rambunctious Virgin.  After all, you relish the prospect of a good challenge.  Instead of taking this as an opportunity to flex, use this unique period for introspection.  You are certain to succeed in your endeavors, but challenge yourself by reaching your successful ends through creative means.  Sacred Sativa strains should be your signature smoke this month.  Invoke the sacred herb, and rise above the cosmic haze.  Don’t indulge knee-jerk reactions, but be ready to employ your own unique, unconventional, methods to solving particularly troublesome problems.

Stoner Virgo when it comes to work, keep the long game in mind.  While you should keep your eyes on the finish line, remember you’re running a marathon, not a sprint.  There will be long stretches of steady progress, and times you will need to slow down to recoup your energy.  It’s all about the slow burn stoner Virgo.  We might get excited when acquiring an ounce of our favorite good green, but it would be a waste to smoke it all in one session.  The same sentiment applies to your efforts on the clock.  Pace yourself.  Know what tasks must be done for the day, and once you’ve accomplished your to-dos, take a break.  Crack into the sacred stash, roll one up, and relish a job well done.  

Remember stoner Virgo, you don’t have to go at it alone.  It might be out of character to ask for help, but your closest partners-in-chronic are waiting in the wings.  If you have the plan, they are willing to provide the hands needed to get the job done.  Those who puff together, progress together.  It is true that sharing is caring, whether it is a freshly packed bowl, or a heavy load up the steepest hill.  Your cannabis companions will always be down to ride, and are always ready to roll one up!

Stay on the grind this Spring.  Summer is around the corner.  You and the canna-fam have countless smoke spots to discover.  Some might warn against having your head in the clouds stoner Virgo, but now is the perfect time to have higher aspirations. 

Virgo Stoner Horoscope April

Stoner Virgo April is going to be a time potentially marred with ambiguity. Winter has melted away, but we are not quite yet to the burning days of summer.  This somewhere-in-between feeling can be overwhelming if you do not find some way to release the pressure. Don’t let uncertainty get the best of you! What are your passions, your interests stoner Virgo? Instead of resigning yourself to be simply a cog in the cosmic machine, channel that restless energy into creating something, anything!  And, it’s okay if you find yourself pausing, unsure of where to begin in your creative conquests. Find your favorite secluded smoke spot, and dive deep into your subconscious. Inhale, exhale, and examine, stoner Virgo. 

There is a reason we call it the sacred herb.  Although good greens can be an excellent way to relax and to recreate, it can also be a catalyst, allowing us to explore the most inner reaches of our being.  Self discovery, on a personal level, may unintentionally reverberate into other realms, including that of work. But remember stoner Virgo: Unexpected does not always mean unwelcomed. Shifting perspective with many contemplative late nights and marijuana musings, can lead to exactly the kind of out-of-the-box thinking needed to tackle tough problems.  Personal smoke sessions can affect workplace dilemmas. While usually preferring to go it alone when getting work down, the stoner Virgo is likely to find odd enjoyment when working on team projects. Maybe it is the conversation and the comradery; or maybe it is the realization that when more hands are lifting, the load is easier to carry. This does not mean you have to sacrifice your autonomy. Help is a two-way street. Those from who you solicit insight and advice, will be equally thankful to hear your input when roles are reversed.

Stoner Virgo, whether the seeds of attraction were just planted, or sown long ago, you can expect to experience healthy growth in the field of love in April.  This will be true for romantic cannabis companions, and platonic partners-in-chronic alike. For those who are single and looking to change their status, or simply make a new friend, be forewarned:  Seek connections in smaller, more selective smoke circles. It is true that sharing is caring, but you don’t have to smoke out every stoney stranger. This April, share your most special stash only with those who genuinely elevate your mood, or make you smile and laugh when they are passing you the kind.