Earth Sign – The Virgin – August 23 – September 22
Nothing gets passed the stoner Virgo. The virgin of the stoner Zodiac is detail oriented, and always knows who’s holding the good green. No smoke circle is complete without this practical stoner. They may not know the most exotic smoke spots, but the stoner Virgo will always find a safe smoke spot.
The stoner Virgo is hyper-aware and often hyperactive. Calming strains like Granddaddy Purple and Jack Herer can help ease anxiety and bring more clarity to Virgo’s manic mind. The sacred herb in general helps the stoner Virgo ease the tension of living with a perfectionist’s aspirations.
The stoner Virgo is the perfect canna-buddy to help solve a problem or organize an idea. And this kind kush toker will always arrive on time to help a fellow cannabis companion.
Want a notification each month? Check out the podcast version of the horoscope!
Stoner Virgo, you are the kind hearted organized ally of the stoner Zodiac. So much of your terrestrial mission is in service to others, particularly your close cannabis companions within the smoke circle. The month of May brings with it an uncomfortable selfish breeze from the universe. But don’t fret my analytical Virgin, the selfish breeze may create unease, but it will assist in much needed internal work that could unlock personal progress.
Now more than ever stoner Virgo, you must forgive yourself. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to see the impact you can have internally. The quest for perfection, and heightened expectations, lead to disappointment with yourself. Pack the bowl, inhale the perspective expanding nature of the sacred herb, and exhale harsh internal criticism. The cannabis strain does not matter. The personal mental time dedicated to the medicated meditative smoke session is the necessary step to take in May. Make sure to toke time for solo deep dives with your sacred herbal copilot many times in the final Spring month.
Take time to create stoner Virgo. Meditative moments with the sacred herb don’t always have to be in a dark quiet space. Find an activity to keep your hands active while your mind can wonder and heal. Gardening is a great activity to turn the blank canvas of soil into a living growth of nutrition. Perhaps there are artistic endeavors or renovation projects to keep your physical body busy while you contemplate life, the universe, and everything. Feed your head and feed your soul in May my stoner Virgin.
Make sure to tackle the task of personal growth in a safe space stoner Virgo. After all, this month is all about you. Once you have fully taken the internal empathetic lessons provided by the sacred herb, you will emerge on the terrestrial plane with a newfound confidence in your stride. Heal yourself first stoner Virgo, and then you can better help others heal. By the end of May, the smoke circle will have a refreshed attentive Virgo once again to assist them in all their smokey adventures.
Cosmic vibes in April favor the natural traits of the stoner Virgo. Ah yes my helpful Virgin, it will be nice to have a cosmic breeze at your back while you traverse the terrestrial plane. But this warm influence will amplify all of your stonerific qualities, maybe even the ones that can cause friction with your canna-crew.
Organization and analytical analysis will be supported by a bright cosmic breeze this month. This means toke it out, and plan it out. Any stuck gears in the sphere of economics can be loosened in April. There is a solution or an escape from any problem or obstacle. Medicated meditations with the sacred herb can assist in all problem solving missions. This month is a great time to combine your analytical mind with herbal enhancements to solving economic issues.
The Kinks said it best in 1981 stoner Virgo, “Paranoia the destroyer.” Don’t destroy yourself this month with an overactive analytical brain. The cosmic blessing in April is simply an amplification of your own stoner traits. So that overactive brain will be more troublesome within the personal sphere this month. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to find perspective instead of a tool to descend into a paranoid rabbit hole. Stock some CBD flower on hand to mix in if an overactive brain brings unwanted anxiety.
Chill stoner Virgo. Select some Indica dominant cannabis hybrids for the stash jar this month. Mid month you will notice a manic surge of energy from the cosmos. All those ideas and plans will be wonderful to brainstorm and execute. Everything might seem a bit brighter. BUT, there are many stoner traits among the stoner Zodiac. Not every stoner star sign will be feeling your natural burst of energy, and bright enthusiasm. So chill stoner Virgo. Even in those manic moments of great ambition, toke time to relax. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to find understanding, empathy, and patience with your cannabis companions.
This is a powerful month for you stoner Virgo. Much progress can be made on the terrestrial plane. But as you fly close to the Sun of energetic ambitions, don’t burn the wings of your partners in chronic. With the sacred herb as your copilot, you should be able to navigate your high flying travels safely with the smoke circle still intact.
Stoner Virgo the transition to Spring will find a wonderfully positive influence from our grand celestial bodies. The particular positive push from the universe will combine well with your natural stoner tendencies and traits. Compounding this positive combination will be the impact felt in both the personal and work spheres.
Alright my practical stoner Virgin, the cosmos will be sending waves of creativity to accentuate your logical hard working spirit this month. March will be the perfect time to break into the staples of your sacred stash jar. Granddaddy Purple or Jack Herer cannabis strains will ease internal tensions, and allow your sacred herbal assistant to act as divining rod between the cosmic creative influence of the celestial bodies, and your terrestrial ambitions. Use your medicated meditative smoke sessions in March as a catalyst to find creative inspiration with positive impact in both the personal and work spheres.
Stoner Virgo your logical nature can mute your emotional communications. In the first 20 days of March, the creative influence of the cosmos will help find new ways to express yourself to your cannabis companions and close partners in chronic. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to bring deep internal feelings to the surface, and share them with the canna-fam. With personal growth come personal rewards!
This cosmic creative push will bring a new tool to your work arsenal stoner Virgo. Toke time for solo smoke sessions away from the work setting to contemplate problems and obstacles. These medicated meditative smoke sessions will uncover out-of-the-box pathways that could unlock doors to future progress within the economic machinery.
Stoner Virgo March 20th marks the Spring Equinox, and the beginning of a new astrological year. This transition may bring about contemplation of spiritual and philosophical aspects of our terrestrial world. This introspection will be a wonderful finish to the creative push of March. Once again your sacred herbal assistant will help you dive deep into yourself; not to answer philosophical dilemmas, but to ask the right questions. After this thought provoking productive month, you will transition into the new astrological year with a new way to see the future. Here’s to puff puff passing productive progress.
Stoner Virgo can you direct change within a consistent routine? Can you build a house within a home? The February time period will flow naturally toward your stoner strengths: Consistency, Diligence, and Heart. Keep the stash jar loaded stoner Virgo. This month is full of complex puzzles you are sure to enjoy, especially with your herbally enhanced third eye vision.
Diligence within routine and work ethic are monumental strengths of the stoner Virgo. However, a singular focus on task mastery can leave the stoner Virgin without general navigation. Universal influence in February will bring winds of change to this realm of Virgo strength. But understand that this change is not in action, but in direction. Throughout the month, you must toke time with the sacred herb to contemplate your navigational drives. Use the sacred herb to fly high above the terrestrial plane. Seek out a wider perspective. Follow the trail of daily tasks, and see where they lead. Ahhh yes stoner Virgo, with your third eye vision fully engaged, now you can adjust where your daily diligence will lead you.
As you look up from the task list to find your direction, you should also toke time to recognize the foundation of familial support you have created. Cosmic influence in February is one of perspective. As it relates to cannabis companions and the broader smoke circle, you will find strength in appreciation. Perhaps the daily grind on the task list has decoupled the connection with your stoner family. February is a great opportunity to recognize the bonds within your canna fam. This simple recognition and appreciation will help to strengthen green trichomes that bond the smoke circle together.
I don’t have a specific cannabis strain to help guide you stoner Virgo. The most important cannabis prescription for February is consistent smoke sessions. From this task you will find perspective, both in your daily drives, and in matters of the heart. Never forget, all the spheres of life are connected.
Stoner Virgo you are a unique terrestrial astronaut flying through the galaxy on our cosmic spaceship. You are a hard worker; organized in your routine and ambitious undertakings. This month will provide a break from routine. Prepare to feed your head instead of the to-do list in January. There may be uncomfortable aspects to the second Winter month, but with the sacred herb as your spiritual guide, you can navigate these unfamiliar spaces with great personal progress. Different isn’t a dirty word my anal retentive stoner, sometimes it can be an opportunity.
Stoner Virgo there is a specific opportunity presented by a universal influence to innovate within the work sphere. In the days preceding the New Moon of the 12th, make time for a group strategy session. If you are able to combust the sacred herb with your coworkers, perhaps ideas and plans will illuminate with the passing of a joint. No matter the method or occupation, be sure to lead, communicate, and collaborate before the New Moon.
As a double dose of positivity, a universal influence will give a positive push to personal endeavors in the days after the New Moon of the 12th. Toke time to meditate with the sacred herb, and take time for a passion project or hobby that has gone neglected during busy past periods.
Busy bird stoner Virgo. There may be parts of January that drift without winds of action. For an active stoner, the lack of motion can bring boredom or even depression. Do not fight these moments of cosmic malaise stoner Virgo. These moments are an opportunity. Select an Indica cannabis strain from your sacred stash jar for these moments. Toke time to reflect on the hurried and busy nature of yourself, and the world. Perhaps you need a break, and now is the time. It is in these medicated meditative moments with the sacred herb where you might find new direction in personal health. Cosmic stagnation can lead to personal epiphanies. Use the sacred herb to transfer moments of possible boredom or depression into moments of contemplation and recovery. Feed your head stoner Virgin. Take care of mind, body, and spirit.
Stoner Virgo the month of December sets up like an older stoner classic, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Two opposite worlds will combine for straight fire this month. And, as with the sandwich, the ingredients and process will be easy to procure and execute.
First the peanut butter, the foundational glue to the delicious delite. The holiday season can be stressful. Always somewhere to go and something to do can compound into an overwhelming task list that ends in anxiety. To get through this period my analytical Virgin, you must keep a keen eye on the battery charge within your cosmic spacesuit. Even the best task master takes time for a break between hard charges. This month you must toke time for self at opportune moments. Use the sacred herb at the right times to break free from terrestrial stress and recharge your proverbial batteries. These solo smoke breaks with the sacred herb will provide the sticky glue of solitude that keeps the sandwich of success together.
And now stoner Virgo, the jelly. The jelly adds the excitement to the stoner classic munchie. The wonderful blessing of the holiday season is all the opportunities for celebratory gatherings within the canna-fam and the extended smoke circle. It is predicted that the well-rested stoner Virgo will be living the high life in December. Make sure you have your portable smoke kit and stash jar ready to roll, because this month you will be flying high from one smoke out to the next.
I have a specific prescription for the New Moon of the 14th. Toke time with a cannabis companion to appreciate the relationship and terrestrial home built together. Roast bowls and cuddle up for a night in. For single stoner Virgo’s this time is equally important. Peak emotional winds could be blowing through your house during the New Moon. Stay in, sink deep into a solo smoke session, and contemplate appreciation for how you got to this sacred position on our terrestrial plane.
Remember stoner Virgo, balance is the key to success and progress in December. Too much peanut butter will choke a dry cotton mouth. Too much jelly might send you into a tailspin of sugar burn out. But, together with proper balance, you have the perfect treat that will satisfy any stoner within the Zodiac.
Stoner Virgo not all periods of Mercury retrograde are created equally. As you have learned in the past couple weeks, perhaps you are well equipped with cosmic traits that can thrive during such periods. Inhale the calming nature of the sacred herb. Recent frustrations and communication breakdowns will twist like a finely rolled joint into a period of great progress and understanding. Sometimes it takes a rough patch to learn how thick our skin is. Put Breakdown by Guns N Roses on your playlist; November is going to be rockin!
I have a specific task for your organized to-do list stoner Virgo: Declutter. Toke time early in the month to pack your favorite pipe with your favorite strain. Use the sacred herb to enhance a productive smoke session crossing t’s and dotting i’s that remain from previous periods. This medicated exercise with the sacred herb will cleanse the past, and free the future.
Now stoner Virgo, with a clean slate the real magic can occur. The New Moon of the 14th marks an important period of great creativity and idea generation. Typical of a stoner Virgo, once you clean your plate, you are ready to fill it back up again. I recommend filling your stash jar with a sweet Sativa dominant hybrid cannabis strain for this period of great ingenuity. Amnesia Haze should fill the pipe perfectly. However, be forewarned: Do not over extend on execution during this period. Let the ideas and plans flow. Memorialize them on paper or digital mediums, but don’t jump too quick to manifest them. Perhaps this period will fill your days in the future, executing your amazing plans and ideas. But for now, put out the bucket, and catch the rain of inspiration.
Be ready my energetic Virgin. The new cycle of energy and flow will bring fellow terrestrial astronauts to your door. Literally. Don’t fret, I know your energetic style can mask trepidation for human contact, but the current universal influence will bring positivity and confidence to your outward expressions. Seek balance with the sacred herb. Seek out and fill your grinder with a high CBD cannabis strain. The calming and soothing nature of this light stoney strain will keep the claustrophobic walls from closing in when social smoke circles occur. Trust yourself stoner Virgo, you got this!
Stoner Virgo October brings influential and impactful influence from the universe. As the seed transforms into the flowering bud, there are many crucial actions and moments along the path. The second Fall month is a potentially transformative period with long-term impacts for the stoner Virgin.
Stoner Virgo a grand harvest always starts with a seed. You can’t consume ripe big buds without the first phase of the process. Any grand project works in a similar way. Every worthwhile endeavor starts with the seed of an idea. In the same respect, those big beautiful buds will not grow without care and attention. No idea grows into a grand event without follow-up effort and work. Combust the sacred herb stoner Virgo to flush out the seeds of inspiration. Then use the sacred herb as a catalyst to develop and nurture your grand plan. Universal influence in October supports the nurtured growth of positive ideas, and all the work surrounding them. Follow your inspiration, and build the foundation for big buds of success.
Many of the seeds of brilliance come from sacred instinct inside of you stoner Virgo. In October, do not resist your instinct. Your herbally enhanced third eye is wide open. Feed it the green goodness it needs, and follow your cosmic vision. This recipe of internal confidence will affect more than just your business efforts. In October this sacred path will lead to the seeds of romance as well. Whether you are partnered-up, or single roaming the terrestrial plain, positive results will come from trusting your third eye instincts. No deep meditative dives with the sacred herb are required, but a steady diet of herbal enhancement will assist your romantic mission.
Stoner Virgo all spheres of life could be intertwined in the second Fall month. Business, romantic, and even the physical health of your cosmic space suit all fall under the same sacred prescription. And in many ways they could all feed the progression of each other. Follow your instincts! There are many medical benefits to the essence of the sacred herb. Perhaps your third eye knowledge will take you on a new path of natural health directives. Physical fitness of your cosmic space suit is paramount to a healthy terrestrial existence. But each astronaut has a unique regiment of exercise that works best for them.
Stoner Virgo this is your prescription for October: Embrace the grind, consume the green, plant seeds of inspiration, trust yourself, and celebrate with the canna-fam. Plant, nurture, harvest.
Stoner Virgo September brings cosmic blessings the likes of which have not been seen all year. Yup, it will be a heaping bowl of green powered positivity this month. A shifting landscape may throw others off their feet, but not you, not this month stoner Virgo. Herbal wings of positivity will keep you upright and moving forward toward progress.
Double down on the waves of positivity with the Lamb’s Bread Sativa strain. Keep your stash jar filled to the rim. Pinch or dip into it as much as you want this month. You will already be floating, there is nothing stopping you from going even higher.
For single stoner Virgos there might be a smoke circle hook up in store in September! For all other Virgins in the stoner Zodiac, this month may not be as innocent as your chart leads people to believe. Once again the Lamb’s Bread cannabis prescription suits your romantic condition nicely. Be sure to keep your mood and desires energetic and uplifting. Your crush will appreciate the attention! One important instruction to help you on your heart-filled travels stoner Virgo: Listen. Your cannabis companion or smoke circle crush will find your listening skills sexy. An active listener is sure to be rewarded.
The work and business sphere may not be on the same elevated plain as the sphere of romance, but it will float on with pace and positivity. All you need to solve problems, and leap over obstacles, are within your wonderful set of stoner traits. Keep scratching off that to-do list my anal retentive stoner Virgo. Obstacles are sure to pop up during the month, but they will easily be solved with a little patience and contemplation. If you get stuck, be sure to take a step back, and contemplate the problem with a higher perspective induced by the sacred herb.
Nothing can hold you back this month as long as you maintain your groovy lifted vibe, and stay steady on the grind.
Stoner Virgo the month of August sets up to be quite a wonderful period filled with cosmic progress and stoney companionship. But the best news is this: All that is required from the universe is within you my stoner Virgin. Your cannabis prescription for August is open, so long as your natural traits, and wonderful nature, are unimpeded from leading you into the terrestrial fray.
In August there is a blessing from the planetary alignment that will expand your social wavelength. Embrace a new comfortability within the crowd stoner Virgo. Your smoke circle will almost certainly expand this month, and communion with the canna-crew will hold the key to personal progress. You will almost certainly feel the increase in vibration through your meditations with the sacred herb, and your fellow tokin terrestrial astronauts.
Don’t forget to be yourself! Stoner Virgo you have a natural instinct for organization and truth. Your perceptive mind and strong spirit are a blessing from the cosmos. So often your strength of spirit and analytical nature can get you into trouble. These experiences have caused anxiety and a cautious approach in the past. Not this month stoner Virgo! Let your freak flag fly, and your fellow tokin terrestrial astronauts will bring support and appreciation.
The month ends with complex cosmic conundrums. Problems will come in the form of puzzles, but you can solve them stoner Virgo. The cannabis prescription may be open for most of the month, but after the 24th, your sacred stash box must contain Sativa cannabis strains. Energy, focus, and clarity will be required to finish the month with strength of spirit and progress at heart. See through the traps of crossed wires with your herbally enhanced third eye vision. Keeping the peace while analyzing that crucial puzzle piece will ensure the progress of the month is banked for future time periods.