Gemini

The Stoner Gemini is a witty twin. Cosmic influences are subject to change with different cannabis strains chosen.

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Gemini June 2016

You will be riding on a “higher” vibration in June, Stoner Gemini!  Overall, the month will be bright and upbeat, and you will be able to greet the first month of Summer with a fresh bowl.  Lately, it seems your thoughts have been consumed by finding your purpose, and every decision has seemed life-changing.  That is not the case at the moment.  While you are still growing and making personal upgrades, you should use this time to kick back, relax and let life do it’s thing: To simply live.  You need to trust that all things will work the course just as they are supposed without any interference.

When it comes to your career, slow and steady will win the race.  You must stay focused, working in one set forward direction.  Whether the advice was sought out or not, others will try to impose their opinions upon you, and it is more than likely that they will be the complete opposite of your own.  Do not let that “snuff your spliff”, or prevent you from making progress.  You know where you’re going, and you’re doing your best trying to figure out how to get there.  All good things take time, and your life is no different.  Slow down the pace, and you will be able to see more clearly.  Remember, life’s a garden; dig it.  Often times the journey is more valuable than the destination, so try to take every situation as a positive learning experience and make the best of it as you go.

June will be an especially memorable time for you and your significant other.  Be the stoner that you are, and treat your partner in a calm and cool manner.  Chiiiillllll, (Wo)man.  Stresses have been high for you the past few months, and maybe you haven’t been giving your partner the attention they deserve?  Be sure to show them just how much the mean to you.  The possibility of confrontation is not non-existent, so you must keep your emotions in check and avoid any possible outbursts.  When tensions do arise, it’s better to smoke about it, forget about it, and move on.  If you are able to do so, the outcome will be well worth the efforts, and your relationship will be stronger than ever.

Gemini May 2016

Stoner Gemini, May is looking bright and sunny for you, and I’m not just talking about the weather.  The Universe has your back and is creating quite a positive and pleasant atmosphere for you this month.  You have the ability to be in complete control at this current time.  It’s time to step up to the plate and take charge.  Your optimism and go-get-it attitude will be contagious to those around you, allowing you to impact the lives of close friends and family in a positive way.

No matter what position you hold at your job, your productivity levels will be higher than a hippie in a hot air balloon.  Now is the time to get a handle on your finances and work obligations.  Focus on the basic steps, taking each necessary action one at a time.  There may be someone at work who you feel has been extra needy.  Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Give them the attention that they need, but avoid being overbearing towards them.  Be patient and direct, and TEACH them what needs to be done or changed to improve their efforts.  Do not simply do the work for them just because you feel that you can get the job done quicker or done better.  Give a man a joint and you get him stoned for the day; teach a man to roll his own and get him stoned for life.

In usual Gemini fashion, laziness will be your biggest enemy this month.  Do not get stuck in a couch-lock mindset.  Skip the Netflix and chill, and try something a little more adventurous.  The boring and mundane activities in your leisure time have been the reason for any low vibrations you have been feeling lately.  Keep your time preoccupied with interesting activities, and take any opportunity you can to connect with nature.

Gemini April 2016

This April, you will feel some negative emanations from a few of the planets, but it will not be without some positive reinforcement to balance out the overall feel of the month.  Brace yourself for the ups and downs of April’s roller coaster, Stoner Gemini.  It is important that you are aware of your surroundings and the company you keep at this time.  You may be let down by some, and surprised by others when given the chance. Some things (and people) are not always as they seem. Lean on the sacred herb to help guide your intuition this month.

To progress in your current work situation, it will be necessary for you to try a new approach to get ahead and resolve any pressing issues that you’ve been struggling with.  Even if this is not your permanent career choice, take advantage of the opportunities set before you, and use it as a way to transform yourself.  Start with something small, and all other things should slowly start to follow and fall into place.  You may find yourself shockingly surprised at the open-ended possibilities available to you.

While you work on yourself, it will also be important to be in sync in your relationships with those around you.  Unnecessary negativity will only distract you from the mental clarity you have been seeking.  Try not to get overwhelmed with the flood of thoughts and ideas flowing through your head, and don’t be too quick to act on any one thing.  Take your time and give each thought the appropriate time needed before making any decisions.  Life is not a race.

Use the sacred herb to help you gain some peace of mind this month.  Stay calm and collected with a nice Indica strain.

Gemini March 2016

Along with the change of the season, March will mark a time of new beginnings for you, stoner Gemini.  You will find your primary focus on your life status, how you feel about yourself, and how you are viewed by others.  You will experience a wave of positive energy that will allow you to make the necessary changes to spring yourself into action.  The past few months have been a little rough, but consider March as your clean slate.  Like I said, new beginnings:  Your future starts today.

This month, don’t talk about it, be about it.  Now is the time to start being the person you’re always saying you want to be and start doing the things you always say you’re going to do.  The only person holding you back is you.  Maybe you’ve been dreaming about getting involved in your local government to finally get your opinions heard.  Or, perhaps you’ve been wanting to start daily meditations to get that intrapersonal reflection time you crave, but can never seem to find the time.  It could even be something as small as finally cleaning your dab rig every week like you say you will, but instead let your lungs suffer for weeks on end.  You will find great satisfaction out of helping yourself and others, and your confidence levels will soar with each accomplishment and small step made towards a better you.  Just like Michael told us: “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.”

Toke lightly this month.  Now is not the time to get stuck in a couch-lock.  Save the dabs for the weekends, and puff on a light Sativa during the day.  A little shazzy reggae dub during the work day is sure to keep the energy levels bumping.  Your creative juices are flowing this month, and you will find great satisfaction if you are able to find an outlet for it.  Take risks and dare to go where no Gemini has ever gone before.  😉

Gemini January 2016

Well, Stoner Gemini, you made it!  For you, January 2016 is about tying up loose ends and completing old tasks, so that you can continue forward to more personal and professional successes.  Now is the time to analyze your past to make way for a better future; review your present objectives and set new targets.

Your career has suffered a bit the last few months as you have blindly wondered about, searching for some motivation and self discipline, or a whole new career direction in an attempt to make money doing something you love.  While the beginning of January may bring the same kind of feelings, know that the stars will soon align for you, and your future will be clearer than ever.  Lay the bong to rest this month.  Stick to an uplifting sativa in a hand pipe when you do choose to smoke, but you’ll want to keep yourself in tip top shape this month.

Your primary focus during January will remain with matters of the heart.  Whether you are dealing with an existing relationship, or the blossoming of a new one, the relationship will continue to gain strength.  Work together to find harmony as a couple.  This will be a major source of your happiness during January, but be careful:  Unjustified doubts of intentions or feelings of insecurity could be your downfall if you let it.  If you feel negative thoughts rolling in, take a walk, smoke a bowl, and think before you speak.

Gemini February 2016

Stoner Gemini, February will be an overall calm and harmonious time for you as the negative vibes of January will be neutralized by the planets.  The relationship that you’ve been nurturing for the past couple of months will continue to be at the top of your priorities, and family will be of extreme importance to you this month as well.  It is likely that towards the end of the month, there will be a family matter that requires your attention.

February is filling you with passion, and if you’re not careful, that passion could come out in areas where it’s not wanted.  The intensity of your relationship will be on the rise during February, but be mindful of the words you choose and how you choose to say them.  Your boldness could come off as offensive to your partner, and it could cause some unnecessary hiccups in your relationship.  If a situation does arise, it won’t be anything that can’t be quickly smoothed over with a make up smoke sesh.  Smoke about it, forget about it, right?

During the first half of February, you will feel enlightened and motivated.  Take advantage of this in all aspects of your life.  Use it to finally make a dent on that long overdue to do list at work, spend time each day meditating and balancing oneself, and find time for a mini getaway if you can.  Try to spend your time with family and close friends, and avoid large social gatherings if at all possible.  Stick with a nice Sativa, you don’t want to let any Indica induced couch-lock highs to get in the way of accomplishing your goals this month.

Gemini December 2015

Stoner Gemini, December will be happy toking.  The stars are definitely favoring your romantic relationships and leisurely activities this month, but your professional life won’t be a total bag of dirt weed either.  You are starting to recover from the backlash the last couple of months have put on your career, and you’re finally able to grab the reins and take back control.  

Stay task oriented in the workplace, and pay attention to detail.  A small oversight could cause bigger problems than you may have anticipated.  Avoid the head fog and stick to your vaporizer until after work when you can finally let loose.  While you may feel like you’re “back in the groove” again, you have a lot of lost time to make up for and it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

The stars are (still) heavily influencing your love life. Continue to enjoy it while it lasts!  You might be surprised at the level of romantic encounters you have this month, or the intense spark that an already existing relationship may receive.  Your mind may be craving fun or adventurous activities.  As long as you aren’t skipping out on any responsibilities, give in to this desire every chance you get.  If you can, grab some buds and get out of town for the weekend, check out a concert, or maybe you’ll want to plan a date night at a place you’ve never been to before.  Make the most of this positive life stage you are experiencing and know that each day is the stepping stone to a better tomorrow.

Gemini November 2015

Stoner Gemini, I can’t say that November will be an easy month for you; so you must be able to take the good in with the bad, and have faith that things will work themselves out.  Since the planets have shifted against you, you will be subject to an abnormal amount of negative energies, but only you can ultimately control how they affect you.

Stay focused on the present, trying to improve what you currently have rather than starting anew.  Your career might not be continually progressing at the rapid rate you had hoped, or maybe you feel that what you are doing today doesn’t seem to be helping you reach future goals, or maybe you feel like you just can’t get anything right:  This is only temporary and the only way to get through it is to keep puffin’ along.  Like I said, here and now.  Don’t try to overcompensate by biting off more than you can chew.  Stay professional, take any criticisms with grace, and know that in good time, everything will fall into place.  Work will be the main source of stress this month, so consider some office yoga or mid-day meditation to help keep yourself centered.  I would also recommend keeping a sneak a toke handy for emergencies.

Continue to focus on yourself this month.  Your overall health will become very important to you during November, and understandably so.  When other parts of your life become chaotic, it’s only natural that you would look for control within yourself.  Whether you are changing your diet, exercising more, or meditating with help of the sacred herb; let the positive changes flow and manifest from the inside out.  

Libra October 2015

Stoner Gemini, like the seasons, your life is in a transition period.  September’s awkwardness will be followed by October’s feelings of instability.  During this time you’ll be feeling a little aloof.  The cosmos will be draining most of your energy, leaving you in mental couch-lock.  Keep fighting the good fight, and you will be rewarded with enough sporadic bursts of energetic life forces to be able to cut through the haze and accomplish what needs to be done.  Now before you start to panic about things that haven’t even happened yet, stop, take a hit and relax.  Remember that life is what you make of it.  A positive outlook and humor will go a long way, so try not to take yourself too seriously.

Take this month to reflect on your current life situation, the things you’re grateful for and the things you wish to change.  Like I said, you are entering a transition period.  Your goals, views, and desires will begin to shift as well, and you might start feeling complacency towards your life’s current status.  Try not to get too hung up on any one thought; just explore them.  As the month progresses, everything will become clearer.

For your own sake, I would highly recommend that you steer clear of any and all medibles, and toke lightly during the “work” day.  You don’t need any added brain fog.  However, feel free to let loose in your personal time.  Not only will it help relieve any stress you might be feeling, but with all that extra mind wandering you’ll be doing this month, I can’t think of any better way to help expand the conscious mind.

Gemini September 2015

Stoner Gemini, brace yourself this month.  September brings on an awkward period for you.   Neither your professional career, nor your personal life will be flying high.  The planets positive and negative emanations will be blocked out by each other, neutralizing most of their support or bad influences.  You’re not winning,  you’re not losing, you’re really just staying afloat.  But hey, don’t you worry!  As Bob says:  “Every little thing is going to be alright”.  Normally a Sativa strain is your best bet, but a nice Indica hybrid might help you mellow and find some inner peace.  

Try not to overcompensate for your lack of “achievements” by over exerting yourself.  I know this may be a hard concept for your attention-driven, go-getter attitude to grasp; but, excelling should not be a top priority for you.  After so many consistent months of kicking ass at your job, I think you’ve earned a break from your T-break.  Now I am not suggesting that you sit in a foggy haze of stale smoke for the next month.  I’m just saying it wouldn’t kill you to “smoke two joints before you smoke two joints”, if you are picking up what I’m laying down.

The one thing that you are probably aware of by this point, is that your non-existent love life has finally received a little planetary support these last few months.  It’s exciting, and you will finally be sure of what direction you want things to go.  However, your words and actions are not coming across as clear as you think.  Be mindful to the way you portray your feelings or you might be as deceitful as that huge wake and dab you’re never sure why you thought was a good idea.  Every success you have remains entirely in your hands this month. Only you can light that bowl, but don’t get carried away, or you’ll roast the whole thing.