Category Archives: Gemini

The Stoner Gemini is a witty twin. Cosmic influences are subject to change with different cannabis strains chosen.

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Gemini November 2016

Stoner Gemini you can relax in the calm waters of the cosmos in the month of November.  Negative influences will be at bay, and you will be able to concentrate on internal desires and positive manifestation.  With negative universal influences dulled, a variety of strains of the sacred herb can be used in meditative experiments.  The focal point of all meditative smoke sessions should be creation and manifestation.  The world is what we want to make it.  Our desires and fears clash in a constant beam communicating out to the cosmos.  Take time to focus your communication stream to the universe this month on pinpointing what you really what out of this life.  The universe is always listening; be sure that you are communicating what you want it to hear.

Work and business will continue at a normal flow in November.  Much of the importance of your communication with the universe, you must be clear with your communication in the workplace.  Obstacles will pop up in the form of human conflict.  Concentrate on your tasks and responsibilities.  It would be best to avoid heated conflict.  As long as you take care of your sphere of responsibility everything will work itself out.

Stoner Gemini, your relationships will require more action in November.  Be honest with yourself about your internal desires.  The month of November will be a pivotal time for addressing your goals regarding personal relationships.  If your desires are defined, then they are obtainable with communication and direct action.

Gemini October 2016

Stoner Gemini, brace yourself for bad news.  The month of October is a dramatically dire situation for you.  When I was a child I spent time near a nuclear power plant.  My entire community was littered with sirens.  When they were tested it would send a shiver down my spine.  Stoner Gemini, the sirens are sounding for you, take heed.

Unfortunately, you can’t simply lock yourself away in your room with cannabis, a pipe, and a tissue.  Inaction could be the exact trigger that unloads the cosmic pain down on you.  I do not enjoy being the bearer of bad news stoner Gemini.  With these warnings, you have a chance to settle your soul and prepare yourself for a difficult time period.  The heavenly leader for the sign of Gemini has completely abandoned you for the month of October.  Try to imagine as if the sun were to go away for an entire month, and you had to live in darkness for the duration of the period.

The sacred herb has coping and enlightening properties.  Meditative sessions should take place in moderation with specific direction.  Have you heard of a tolerance break?  This may be the month that you should put down the vape pen and give yourself the gift of sobriety for the month of October.

Unfortunately your cannabis companions, family, and loved ones cannot help you in your predicament this month.  As a matter of fact, you may want to avoid trips and outings with your loved ones as the dark cloud over your head may be detrimental to the long-term health of your relationships.

I’m sorry stoner Gemini, I have no jokes or quips to end this sad horoscope.  You are now prepared with information.  It is up to you to battle the dark cosmic forces.  You will see the blessings of the light again.

Gemini September 2016

The month of September 2016 can be a relatively calm month for the stoner Gemini.  There are no ominous warnings to report.  This does not mean that you will be off the hook completely.  It is a month where you will be tested.  Find your breath and allow the sacred herb to enlighten you on positivity to carry you through until October.

With all your personal relationships you need to apply an analytical approach.  Look at these relationships with no emotion and take stock of what they truly consist of.  Once you’ve made your evaluations choose the one friendship that is always there for you and helps enlighten your path.  Take some time to share a bowl with them.  It is time to divulge some of your burdens with someone who will  help you get to the bottom of the situations.   These issues may be matters of the heart.  Do your best to try new communication strategies with when it comes to your lover.  Do not be afraid to let them in.  It may seem difficult but, once you start talking you will find sharing is much more comfortable than you thought.

Being a strong and self-reliant sign of the zodiac you will want something that keeps you motivated.  A high sativa strain will be perfect for you during your work days.  Business will be very successful for you during September of 2016, but not without a few challenges.  I strongly suggest to do all your own bidding at this time.  Your co-workers may have a wonderful strategy in theory, but will fizzle like the last ember of your pipe.  Keep your eye on the prize and be relentless.  I have no doubt that you will overcome all obstacles this month stoner Gemini.

Gemini August 2016

Stoner Gemini, the month of August will surely be a time of high production and creativity.  The planets are heavily influencing your working sphere right now, leaving you feeling restless and in need of a change for your own sake.  Change can be a scary thing, and fear, frustration, and anxiety can come into play if you don’t stay in that positive, don’t-worry-be-happy mindset.  The challenges you face this month (mostly in the way of your career) will drastically shape your near future and the years to come.  It may be hard to see through the plumes of smoke at times, and you may find yourself wanting to fall into a pit of self-pity and despair.  Do not fall into that trap.  Instead, try to embrace it. Use your overall sense of dissatisfaction as a motivator to achieve the greatness and pride that you have been seeking for so long.  Follow your heart, and everything else will fall into place.  All in good time of course.  Do not expect immediate results overnight.
The most important thing this month will happen internally.  This restlessness you are experiencing has a lot to do with the changes happening to your perception of the world and life.  This could potentially lead to some unpredictable decisions and changes, but remember, it’s all in your best interest.  Do not let the opinions of others change what you know to be true.  The best thing that you can do is to be attentive to yourself, and the company you keep around you.  Find the harmony and balance between the worlds expectations and your own aspirations.  A nice Sativa hybrid will help boost that creative thinking, while still maintaining that calm body euphoria.  Try to use the sacred herb and meditation whenever you start to feel overwhelmed or unsure of your decisions.

Gemini July 2016

Stoner Gemini, July will bring many challenging situations.  Fear not.  You will tackle one, and then puff, puff, pass on to the next, each one barely slowing you down before you overcome it.  This is not to say that this month’s occurrences will be a walk in the park, but you are determined now.  Your energy levels will drastically increase although they may not be focused on what they “should” be.  Use meditation and exercise to clear any of that head fog that may be lingering, and you should be able to see things from a new perspective, allowing you to come to new solutions you may not have thought of before.

You will likely experience a shift in energies that will drastically increase your livelihood.  While most people associate the summer with rest and relaxation, it seems that you will only want to go go go.  But remember, there can be no play without at least a little bit of work.

The working sphere for Geminis will prove to be the most difficult aspect of July.  Whether it’s the pull back from you, or others plotting against you, you will have some work “enemies” to watch out for.  Be up front with coworkers and colleagues, and address anything that feels off before it has the chance to evolve into anything larger.  Compromise and understanding from both parties will be essential.  Unfortunately, that is not always possible, however, it will still be very important for some kind of plan of action to be put into effect, even if it is only temporary.

Be rational, not emotional.  It is nearly impossible to think clearly when emotions are running high. Keep that sneak-a-toke on standby and take a quick smoke break to calm your nerves when needed.  This applies to work and personal relationships, although a blow out with your friends is much less likely to happen.  

Gemini June 2016

You will be riding on a “higher” vibration in June, Stoner Gemini!  Overall, the month will be bright and upbeat, and you will be able to greet the first month of Summer with a fresh bowl.  Lately, it seems your thoughts have been consumed by finding your purpose, and every decision has seemed life-changing.  That is not the case at the moment.  While you are still growing and making personal upgrades, you should use this time to kick back, relax and let life do it’s thing: To simply live.  You need to trust that all things will work the course just as they are supposed without any interference.

When it comes to your career, slow and steady will win the race.  You must stay focused, working in one set forward direction.  Whether the advice was sought out or not, others will try to impose their opinions upon you, and it is more than likely that they will be the complete opposite of your own.  Do not let that “snuff your spliff”, or prevent you from making progress.  You know where you’re going, and you’re doing your best trying to figure out how to get there.  All good things take time, and your life is no different.  Slow down the pace, and you will be able to see more clearly.  Remember, life’s a garden; dig it.  Often times the journey is more valuable than the destination, so try to take every situation as a positive learning experience and make the best of it as you go.

June will be an especially memorable time for you and your significant other.  Be the stoner that you are, and treat your partner in a calm and cool manner.  Chiiiillllll, (Wo)man.  Stresses have been high for you the past few months, and maybe you haven’t been giving your partner the attention they deserve?  Be sure to show them just how much the mean to you.  The possibility of confrontation is not non-existent, so you must keep your emotions in check and avoid any possible outbursts.  When tensions do arise, it’s better to smoke about it, forget about it, and move on.  If you are able to do so, the outcome will be well worth the efforts, and your relationship will be stronger than ever.

Gemini May 2016

Stoner Gemini, May is looking bright and sunny for you, and I’m not just talking about the weather.  The Universe has your back and is creating quite a positive and pleasant atmosphere for you this month.  You have the ability to be in complete control at this current time.  It’s time to step up to the plate and take charge.  Your optimism and go-get-it attitude will be contagious to those around you, allowing you to impact the lives of close friends and family in a positive way.

No matter what position you hold at your job, your productivity levels will be higher than a hippie in a hot air balloon.  Now is the time to get a handle on your finances and work obligations.  Focus on the basic steps, taking each necessary action one at a time.  There may be someone at work who you feel has been extra needy.  Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Give them the attention that they need, but avoid being overbearing towards them.  Be patient and direct, and TEACH them what needs to be done or changed to improve their efforts.  Do not simply do the work for them just because you feel that you can get the job done quicker or done better.  Give a man a joint and you get him stoned for the day; teach a man to roll his own and get him stoned for life.

In usual Gemini fashion, laziness will be your biggest enemy this month.  Do not get stuck in a couch-lock mindset.  Skip the Netflix and chill, and try something a little more adventurous.  The boring and mundane activities in your leisure time have been the reason for any low vibrations you have been feeling lately.  Keep your time preoccupied with interesting activities, and take any opportunity you can to connect with nature.

Gemini April 2016

This April, you will feel some negative emanations from a few of the planets, but it will not be without some positive reinforcement to balance out the overall feel of the month.  Brace yourself for the ups and downs of April’s roller coaster, Stoner Gemini.  It is important that you are aware of your surroundings and the company you keep at this time.  You may be let down by some, and surprised by others when given the chance. Some things (and people) are not always as they seem. Lean on the sacred herb to help guide your intuition this month.

To progress in your current work situation, it will be necessary for you to try a new approach to get ahead and resolve any pressing issues that you’ve been struggling with.  Even if this is not your permanent career choice, take advantage of the opportunities set before you, and use it as a way to transform yourself.  Start with something small, and all other things should slowly start to follow and fall into place.  You may find yourself shockingly surprised at the open-ended possibilities available to you.

While you work on yourself, it will also be important to be in sync in your relationships with those around you.  Unnecessary negativity will only distract you from the mental clarity you have been seeking.  Try not to get overwhelmed with the flood of thoughts and ideas flowing through your head, and don’t be too quick to act on any one thing.  Take your time and give each thought the appropriate time needed before making any decisions.  Life is not a race.

Use the sacred herb to help you gain some peace of mind this month.  Stay calm and collected with a nice Indica strain.

Gemini March 2016

Along with the change of the season, March will mark a time of new beginnings for you, stoner Gemini.  You will find your primary focus on your life status, how you feel about yourself, and how you are viewed by others.  You will experience a wave of positive energy that will allow you to make the necessary changes to spring yourself into action.  The past few months have been a little rough, but consider March as your clean slate.  Like I said, new beginnings:  Your future starts today.

This month, don’t talk about it, be about it.  Now is the time to start being the person you’re always saying you want to be and start doing the things you always say you’re going to do.  The only person holding you back is you.  Maybe you’ve been dreaming about getting involved in your local government to finally get your opinions heard.  Or, perhaps you’ve been wanting to start daily meditations to get that intrapersonal reflection time you crave, but can never seem to find the time.  It could even be something as small as finally cleaning your dab rig every week like you say you will, but instead let your lungs suffer for weeks on end.  You will find great satisfaction out of helping yourself and others, and your confidence levels will soar with each accomplishment and small step made towards a better you.  Just like Michael told us: “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.”

Toke lightly this month.  Now is not the time to get stuck in a couch-lock.  Save the dabs for the weekends, and puff on a light Sativa during the day.  A little shazzy reggae dub during the work day is sure to keep the energy levels bumping.  Your creative juices are flowing this month, and you will find great satisfaction if you are able to find an outlet for it.  Take risks and dare to go where no Gemini has ever gone before.  😉

Gemini January 2016

Well, Stoner Gemini, you made it!  For you, January 2016 is about tying up loose ends and completing old tasks, so that you can continue forward to more personal and professional successes.  Now is the time to analyze your past to make way for a better future; review your present objectives and set new targets.

Your career has suffered a bit the last few months as you have blindly wondered about, searching for some motivation and self discipline, or a whole new career direction in an attempt to make money doing something you love.  While the beginning of January may bring the same kind of feelings, know that the stars will soon align for you, and your future will be clearer than ever.  Lay the bong to rest this month.  Stick to an uplifting sativa in a hand pipe when you do choose to smoke, but you’ll want to keep yourself in tip top shape this month.

Your primary focus during January will remain with matters of the heart.  Whether you are dealing with an existing relationship, or the blossoming of a new one, the relationship will continue to gain strength.  Work together to find harmony as a couple.  This will be a major source of your happiness during January, but be careful:  Unjustified doubts of intentions or feelings of insecurity could be your downfall if you let it.  If you feel negative thoughts rolling in, take a walk, smoke a bowl, and think before you speak.