Category Archives: Gemini

The Stoner Gemini is a witty twin. Cosmic influences are subject to change with different cannabis strains chosen.

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Gemini January 2017

Stoner Gemini be prepared for a dynamic year!  The cosmic winds will fill your sails in 2017.  The January time period is an important catalyst in this process.  Think of yourself on a calm sea in your boat.  If you know a strong wind is coming to take you to a destination of growth, you should raise the sails in advance of the wind.  The majority of January will feel mundane, but this time will be vital to prepare yourself for the forward movement to come.

Dig deep within the Earth and your soul stoner Gemini.  The sacred herb, a wonderful fruit from Earth will help you see yourself and the necessary steps you must take to reach your goals and positive destination.  Meditative smoke sessions should focus on what destination you would like to arrive at in 2017.  There are no teleportation devices yet stoner Gemini, but knowing your destination will help you see all the steps you must take to complete your arrival.

First, the end of January will be when the sails start to fill with wind and thrust you towards your destination.  But life is not a waiting game.  You must set your sails to take advantage of the warm cosmic winds.  Stoner Gemini you must build your foundation for growth, and then when the time is right you can seize upon the opportunity.  Meditation with the sacred herb will help you see the path, but it must be walked.

The universe will impact your life in so many ways late in January stoner Gemini.  The main warning I have for you is this:  You must have self control.  Aggressive outbursts will not benefit you in preparing for the warm cosmic winds.  See the negative influences around you, and understand that confidence and self-value comes from within.

Gemini December 2016

Stoner Gemini, I have a heavy cliche for you:  You reap what you sow.  Whether you relate this to bible scripture or universal karma, this cliche holds weight in any room.  And in the month of December, the cosmic winds have retribution and reward in mind for the stoner Gemini.

The cliche is not ominous or negative.  Often people use this phrase in terms of retribution, but in actuality, it could mean very positive things as well.  At the beginning of the December time period, take the time to yourself with the sacred herb.  Use a meditative smoke session to contemplate the last couple months of your life.  I cannot speak generally about all Geminis for this December time period.  Each individual will feel the effects of their efforts in the past quarter.  

You will know which way the cosmic winds will blow.  There is no hiding from yourself, and your past actions in December.  If your work, attitude, and effort has been on point then the universe will be inclined to offer blessings with no strings attached.  If you have moved through life with avoidance, procrastination, and negativity then the universe will make sure the issues of the past will take center stage in the December time period.

Most of us do not live or act in an “all good” or “all bad” state of life.  The December time period may not have exciting new experiences for you, but it will offer plenty of opportunities to appreciate your cannabis companions, family, and loved ones.  Lay down the pipe when life feels demanding.  Combust the sacred herb when life presents calm waters and rewards.  Take responsibility and rejoice stoner Gemini, the universe is a beautiful thing.

Gemini November 2016

Stoner Gemini you can relax in the calm waters of the cosmos in the month of November.  Negative influences will be at bay, and you will be able to concentrate on internal desires and positive manifestation.  With negative universal influences dulled, a variety of strains of the sacred herb can be used in meditative experiments.  The focal point of all meditative smoke sessions should be creation and manifestation.  The world is what we want to make it.  Our desires and fears clash in a constant beam communicating out to the cosmos.  Take time to focus your communication stream to the universe this month on pinpointing what you really what out of this life.  The universe is always listening; be sure that you are communicating what you want it to hear.

Work and business will continue at a normal flow in November.  Much of the importance of your communication with the universe, you must be clear with your communication in the workplace.  Obstacles will pop up in the form of human conflict.  Concentrate on your tasks and responsibilities.  It would be best to avoid heated conflict.  As long as you take care of your sphere of responsibility everything will work itself out.

Stoner Gemini, your relationships will require more action in November.  Be honest with yourself about your internal desires.  The month of November will be a pivotal time for addressing your goals regarding personal relationships.  If your desires are defined, then they are obtainable with communication and direct action.

Gemini October 2016

Stoner Gemini, brace yourself for bad news.  The month of October is a dramatically dire situation for you.  When I was a child I spent time near a nuclear power plant.  My entire community was littered with sirens.  When they were tested it would send a shiver down my spine.  Stoner Gemini, the sirens are sounding for you, take heed.

Unfortunately, you can’t simply lock yourself away in your room with cannabis, a pipe, and a tissue.  Inaction could be the exact trigger that unloads the cosmic pain down on you.  I do not enjoy being the bearer of bad news stoner Gemini.  With these warnings, you have a chance to settle your soul and prepare yourself for a difficult time period.  The heavenly leader for the sign of Gemini has completely abandoned you for the month of October.  Try to imagine as if the sun were to go away for an entire month, and you had to live in darkness for the duration of the period.

The sacred herb has coping and enlightening properties.  Meditative sessions should take place in moderation with specific direction.  Have you heard of a tolerance break?  This may be the month that you should put down the vape pen and give yourself the gift of sobriety for the month of October.

Unfortunately your cannabis companions, family, and loved ones cannot help you in your predicament this month.  As a matter of fact, you may want to avoid trips and outings with your loved ones as the dark cloud over your head may be detrimental to the long-term health of your relationships.

I’m sorry stoner Gemini, I have no jokes or quips to end this sad horoscope.  You are now prepared with information.  It is up to you to battle the dark cosmic forces.  You will see the blessings of the light again.

Gemini September 2016

The month of September 2016 can be a relatively calm month for the stoner Gemini.  There are no ominous warnings to report.  This does not mean that you will be off the hook completely.  It is a month where you will be tested.  Find your breath and allow the sacred herb to enlighten you on positivity to carry you through until October.

With all your personal relationships you need to apply an analytical approach.  Look at these relationships with no emotion and take stock of what they truly consist of.  Once you’ve made your evaluations choose the one friendship that is always there for you and helps enlighten your path.  Take some time to share a bowl with them.  It is time to divulge some of your burdens with someone who will  help you get to the bottom of the situations.   These issues may be matters of the heart.  Do your best to try new communication strategies with when it comes to your lover.  Do not be afraid to let them in.  It may seem difficult but, once you start talking you will find sharing is much more comfortable than you thought.

Being a strong and self-reliant sign of the zodiac you will want something that keeps you motivated.  A high sativa strain will be perfect for you during your work days.  Business will be very successful for you during September of 2016, but not without a few challenges.  I strongly suggest to do all your own bidding at this time.  Your co-workers may have a wonderful strategy in theory, but will fizzle like the last ember of your pipe.  Keep your eye on the prize and be relentless.  I have no doubt that you will overcome all obstacles this month stoner Gemini.

Gemini August 2016

Stoner Gemini, the month of August will surely be a time of high production and creativity.  The planets are heavily influencing your working sphere right now, leaving you feeling restless and in need of a change for your own sake.  Change can be a scary thing, and fear, frustration, and anxiety can come into play if you don’t stay in that positive, don’t-worry-be-happy mindset.  The challenges you face this month (mostly in the way of your career) will drastically shape your near future and the years to come.  It may be hard to see through the plumes of smoke at times, and you may find yourself wanting to fall into a pit of self-pity and despair.  Do not fall into that trap.  Instead, try to embrace it. Use your overall sense of dissatisfaction as a motivator to achieve the greatness and pride that you have been seeking for so long.  Follow your heart, and everything else will fall into place.  All in good time of course.  Do not expect immediate results overnight.
The most important thing this month will happen internally.  This restlessness you are experiencing has a lot to do with the changes happening to your perception of the world and life.  This could potentially lead to some unpredictable decisions and changes, but remember, it’s all in your best interest.  Do not let the opinions of others change what you know to be true.  The best thing that you can do is to be attentive to yourself, and the company you keep around you.  Find the harmony and balance between the worlds expectations and your own aspirations.  A nice Sativa hybrid will help boost that creative thinking, while still maintaining that calm body euphoria.  Try to use the sacred herb and meditation whenever you start to feel overwhelmed or unsure of your decisions.

Gemini July 2016

Stoner Gemini, July will bring many challenging situations.  Fear not.  You will tackle one, and then puff, puff, pass on to the next, each one barely slowing you down before you overcome it.  This is not to say that this month’s occurrences will be a walk in the park, but you are determined now.  Your energy levels will drastically increase although they may not be focused on what they “should” be.  Use meditation and exercise to clear any of that head fog that may be lingering, and you should be able to see things from a new perspective, allowing you to come to new solutions you may not have thought of before.

You will likely experience a shift in energies that will drastically increase your livelihood.  While most people associate the summer with rest and relaxation, it seems that you will only want to go go go.  But remember, there can be no play without at least a little bit of work.

The working sphere for Geminis will prove to be the most difficult aspect of July.  Whether it’s the pull back from you, or others plotting against you, you will have some work “enemies” to watch out for.  Be up front with coworkers and colleagues, and address anything that feels off before it has the chance to evolve into anything larger.  Compromise and understanding from both parties will be essential.  Unfortunately, that is not always possible, however, it will still be very important for some kind of plan of action to be put into effect, even if it is only temporary.

Be rational, not emotional.  It is nearly impossible to think clearly when emotions are running high. Keep that sneak-a-toke on standby and take a quick smoke break to calm your nerves when needed.  This applies to work and personal relationships, although a blow out with your friends is much less likely to happen.  

Gemini June 2016

You will be riding on a “higher” vibration in June, Stoner Gemini!  Overall, the month will be bright and upbeat, and you will be able to greet the first month of Summer with a fresh bowl.  Lately, it seems your thoughts have been consumed by finding your purpose, and every decision has seemed life-changing.  That is not the case at the moment.  While you are still growing and making personal upgrades, you should use this time to kick back, relax and let life do it’s thing: To simply live.  You need to trust that all things will work the course just as they are supposed without any interference.

When it comes to your career, slow and steady will win the race.  You must stay focused, working in one set forward direction.  Whether the advice was sought out or not, others will try to impose their opinions upon you, and it is more than likely that they will be the complete opposite of your own.  Do not let that “snuff your spliff”, or prevent you from making progress.  You know where you’re going, and you’re doing your best trying to figure out how to get there.  All good things take time, and your life is no different.  Slow down the pace, and you will be able to see more clearly.  Remember, life’s a garden; dig it.  Often times the journey is more valuable than the destination, so try to take every situation as a positive learning experience and make the best of it as you go.

June will be an especially memorable time for you and your significant other.  Be the stoner that you are, and treat your partner in a calm and cool manner.  Chiiiillllll, (Wo)man.  Stresses have been high for you the past few months, and maybe you haven’t been giving your partner the attention they deserve?  Be sure to show them just how much the mean to you.  The possibility of confrontation is not non-existent, so you must keep your emotions in check and avoid any possible outbursts.  When tensions do arise, it’s better to smoke about it, forget about it, and move on.  If you are able to do so, the outcome will be well worth the efforts, and your relationship will be stronger than ever.

Gemini May 2016

Stoner Gemini, May is looking bright and sunny for you, and I’m not just talking about the weather.  The Universe has your back and is creating quite a positive and pleasant atmosphere for you this month.  You have the ability to be in complete control at this current time.  It’s time to step up to the plate and take charge.  Your optimism and go-get-it attitude will be contagious to those around you, allowing you to impact the lives of close friends and family in a positive way.

No matter what position you hold at your job, your productivity levels will be higher than a hippie in a hot air balloon.  Now is the time to get a handle on your finances and work obligations.  Focus on the basic steps, taking each necessary action one at a time.  There may be someone at work who you feel has been extra needy.  Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Give them the attention that they need, but avoid being overbearing towards them.  Be patient and direct, and TEACH them what needs to be done or changed to improve their efforts.  Do not simply do the work for them just because you feel that you can get the job done quicker or done better.  Give a man a joint and you get him stoned for the day; teach a man to roll his own and get him stoned for life.

In usual Gemini fashion, laziness will be your biggest enemy this month.  Do not get stuck in a couch-lock mindset.  Skip the Netflix and chill, and try something a little more adventurous.  The boring and mundane activities in your leisure time have been the reason for any low vibrations you have been feeling lately.  Keep your time preoccupied with interesting activities, and take any opportunity you can to connect with nature.

Gemini April 2016

This April, you will feel some negative emanations from a few of the planets, but it will not be without some positive reinforcement to balance out the overall feel of the month.  Brace yourself for the ups and downs of April’s roller coaster, Stoner Gemini.  It is important that you are aware of your surroundings and the company you keep at this time.  You may be let down by some, and surprised by others when given the chance. Some things (and people) are not always as they seem. Lean on the sacred herb to help guide your intuition this month.

To progress in your current work situation, it will be necessary for you to try a new approach to get ahead and resolve any pressing issues that you’ve been struggling with.  Even if this is not your permanent career choice, take advantage of the opportunities set before you, and use it as a way to transform yourself.  Start with something small, and all other things should slowly start to follow and fall into place.  You may find yourself shockingly surprised at the open-ended possibilities available to you.

While you work on yourself, it will also be important to be in sync in your relationships with those around you.  Unnecessary negativity will only distract you from the mental clarity you have been seeking.  Try not to get overwhelmed with the flood of thoughts and ideas flowing through your head, and don’t be too quick to act on any one thing.  Take your time and give each thought the appropriate time needed before making any decisions.  Life is not a race.

Use the sacred herb to help you gain some peace of mind this month.  Stay calm and collected with a nice Indica strain.