Capricorn

The Stoner Capricorn will light up any smoke circle. This goat is a great cannabis companion for any smoke spot adventure.

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Capricorn June 2016

Stoner Capricorn the month of June is a unique period for you.  The universe is taking a break on influencing your life and emotions in any meaningful way.  I have no news of cosmic good luck or warnings about cosmic headwinds.  However, as you travel to the dark side of the moon, please heed these words:  The cosmos only influences the journey, you determine the path.

When I look deep into the cosmic vacuum of June for the stoner Capricorn, I see a beautiful pond.  Without water flowing into and out of the pond, the water will become stagnant.  This stagnation will lead to algae and scum growth sucking the oxygen out of the pond.  However, if you tend to your pond and circulate the water it will maintain its life and beauty.  The sacred herb can help you see your pond stoner Capricorn.  Meditative sessions with the sacred herb are encouraged in June, especially when the focus is on the maintenance required to keep oxygen flowing into your pond.

Without the influences of the cosmos in matters of the heart, your love life with cannabis companions and family may seem boring at times.  The month of June is a great time to focus on yourself stoner Capricorn.  Think of your family and cannabis companions as fish in your pond.  You must take the time to tend to your pond to keep the oxygen levels right.  The healthier you are then the more your family and cannabis companions will thrive around you.

Capricorn May 2016

Stoner Capricorn, are you familiar with the multiverse?  Scientific theories state that our universe is merely one of an infinite number of universes all connected and yet completely separate.  This theory implies that you have experienced every kind of human ambition and experience that is known to us because there are infinite versions of this world and yourself.  Early in the month of May, it would be wise to place yourself in a creative space with your favorite and most creative strain of the sacred herb.  Use this session to contemplate all the different versions of yourself that have walked Earth in another universe.

The cosmos is going to bring rain instead of flowers for you in May stoner Capricorn.  But it will rain positive creative drops from the universe.  Now more than ever, you should step outside of yourself and find creative methods of thinking and decision making.  The period of May will reward you with bold and creative action.  If you are an entrepreneur then this might mean bold action in marketing, a new branch of products, or changing processes and systems.  Only you will know.  If you are a nut or bolt in the corporate machine, understand that you are powerful and your creativity can reach beyond your position and station.  Don’t be afraid to speak up and present your ideas.

Please stoner Capricorn, take this meditation of creativity and universal understanding to heart regarding your loved ones.  There may be an infinite number of pasts and presents, but you only have yourself here and now.  Cherish your loved ones and cannabis companions, and you will reap the blessings of this world.

Capricorn April 2016

Stoner Capricorn, the month of April begins an expansive period for your personal growth.  You made it through the rough winter, and you have basked in the glow of cosmic fortune.  You are now entering a period where the lessons of the past will benefit your current and future self.  The sacred herb can help you on this journey.  Meditative smoke sessions should be focused on internal self-confidence and belief.

The word “expansion” keeps coming to mind when I think of the cosmic gift presented to you in April stoner Capricorn.  This word can apply to so many things for you this month.  Expansion of the way you perceive yourself in the universe.  You are a powerful being.  This could be the first step towards influencing the environment around you more positively than you have ever contemplated.  Expansion of your business or job.  Now is the time to invest in yourself or your business.  Now is the time to vocalize your ideas and demonstrate leadership.  Perhaps a meditative session with an edible will help you visualize the expansion I am telling you about.  At the core, I am speaking about the expansion of how you see and love yourself.

Test yourself in April.  Be decisive and bold.  Stand behind your opinions and research.  Lead your cannabis companions and lovers.  Now is the time to break out of your shell and spread your beautiful wings.

Capricorn March 2016

Capricorn stoner, you have come a long way.  You have traveled through the scorching pain of the hot cosmic valleys and risen with much elation to the peaks of positive cosmic influences.  March may just wrap up your past year all in one month!  Life is all about perspective Capricorn stoner.  Dramatic situations can always be worse and better at the same time.  In march, life will become all about how you manage the dramatic events that have the potential of overwhelming you.  You know yourself better than anyone.  You must use the sacred herb as a tool in your life at this point.  Selection of the appropriate time and strength of indulgences will be key to riding the emotional waves of March.

Perspective and patience in the work place are vital in March.  The drama will find you, but you are in control of how you react and influence emotional events.  Keep a keen eye on your emotions when dealing with conflict.  Sometimes letting something sit to approach or tackle in the future is the best option versus meeting something head on with emotions of the moment.
Warning:  Don’t get swept up with your cannabis companions in March.  Keeping an even temperament with emotions is crucial to diffuse negative dramatic events, but this same philosophy must be employed to keep you from leaping into situations you might later regret.  Well, regret is a harsh term I don’t like to use, but we must keep a responsible head when our emotions want to take us into the clouds.

Capricorn February 2016

Stoner Capricorn, February brings an amazing opportunity.  The planets have aligned in such a way that the Stoner Capricorn will face no negative influences in February.  The only requirement to take advantage of this cosmic blessing is positive thinking and meditation.

Come with me stoner Capricorn as we imagine your place in the universe in February.  You are on a sailboat.  Behind you is the swirling black clouds of negative emanations from 2015.  You can see the beautiful white lightning strikes of your efforts to push through the storm with positivity.  Now here you rest gently in calm waters.  There is no warm cosmic wind to push you forward, nor a cosmic headwind to fight against.  In front of you is the horizon, a blank canvas that you can paint any image you want.

The sacred herb will take you to magical places in February stoner Capricorn.  Look out onto the horizon.  Where do you want to go?  Who do you want to spend time with?  Meditation and a positive attitude will allow you to paint and plan a wonderful vision of March.  The calm seas will only last for so long, stoner Capricorn, you have to take advantage of the soothing properties of the sacred herb and meditation in February.  Action will come in March.
The only challenge in February will come from your own mind stoner Capricorn.  Some may see lack of motion as stagnation.  Fighting the calm seas will get you nowhere.  Chill, you deserve a break from battle.  February is an opportunity to recharge your batteries and heal your soul.

Capricorn January 2016

Capricorn stoner, January will be a time for deep space travel.  You will lose contact with the cosmic winds that usually swing you from one planetary emotion to another.  You are going to travel to the dark side of the moon in January, and all cosmic communications will be lost.  You will withstand this dark period with the sacred herb as your guide and me as your faithful cannabis companion.

Do not read this horoscope as an ominous fortune.  Stoner Capricorn, you have an amazing opportunity in front of you.  When the seas are calm and the cosmic winds dissipate, you have a tremendous opportunity to travel deep inside yourself.  January will be the perfect time to focus on you, and your inner self.  Powerful sacred herbal edibles and a quiet house will combine to be your space vehicle as you travel to the depth of your own psyche on a mission of discovery and growth.  Grab your writing journal.  Every space adventure needs a mission log.

Be forewarned.  Do not try to accomplish larger goals within your work and personal life in January.  The harder you try to push forward the more risk you take for negative reactions.  Capricorn stoner, you must let go of the fight in January.  Everything will be just fine with a light hand of management.

End of transmission:  God’s speed

Capricorn December 2015

Stoner Capricorn, life has not been easy has it?  I thank you for continuing to read the Stoner Horoscope even though I keep giving you the bad news from the cosmos.  All of the hard work you have put in these past few months are finally starting to pay off.  All of those tough moments and obstacles you have endured can start to be cleared from your mental inventory.  December is a positive time for you stoner Capricorn!  Celebrate with the finest of green goodness, the stickiest of the kind, and the most enlightening of the sacred herb.  December is a period of wildly productive creativity and positive social impacts.

All of the tools you used to battle the searing cosmic wind the past few months will now propel you forward in this time of universal harmony.  Business and work may seem easy at times this month.  The stars have placed no obstacles in your way.  However, this period of low resistance may actually create your undoing.  Even though I envision a positive time for you, stoner Capricorn, you must not forget where you have come from.  All of those battles in the past few months will serve you well if you keep the fighting spirit.  Simple communication and attention will solve all of your problems, but laziness will bring back old foes.

Smoke a bowl and meditate on your inner self.  You are a beautiful person.  It’s time to bring your inner butterfly into the daylight.  This period of cosmic peace will allow you to put your imprint on your friends and family.  You have the power to bring happiness to others just by being you.

Capricorn November 2015

Stoner Ram this November you need to show your true self to the world.  You have a tendency to wear your less positive traits as a shell to protect yourself.  Unfortunately this month being detached, gloomy and self-centered will do you every injustice.  Call upon your sincere, self-controlled, ambitious and faithfully determined self to protect you.  Your honesty and integrity lie on the line.  Be true to yourself, follow your intuition and you will find that you make it out of November better than you first thought.  

The trials of the Winter Solstice will be varying degrees of frustrating for you in both your finance and personal life.  The golden rule is one you must apply to both areas.  Your friends need you.  Your co-workers need you.  Management needs you.  You need you.  Take care of you first:  Spend quality time meditating with the sacred herb.  This self introspection will allow you to also give to the others in your life that need your help during your own personal trials.  Everything you do now to help others will come back to you.  Karma is never a  bitch when you are doing the right thing.

What you need to remember when dealing with your many personal dilemmas this month:  You will not be alone so do not be afraid to ask for help.  Listen to others this month but act of your own accord and you will see why this is all happening soon.  Do not overindulge in anything.  Lastly be sure to lean on the sacred herb when making your decisions.  Stoner Capricorn you can get through this and you will find December to be much more rewarding.  

Capricorn October 2015

Stoner Capricorn, I am going to keep your October horoscope brief this month.  The skies surrounding the stoner Capricorn for October are cloudy and the direct point of action is ambiguous.  I do not want to confuse your emotions of direction with random guesses and hyperbole.

The sacred herb should not be used to cope in October stoner Capricorn.  Avoid any Indica that will tune the world out.  Stick to the Sativa strains for more impact on energy and concentration.

October is all about the two E‘s and two C‘s.

Energy & Effort:  With cloudy skies blocking the vision of what’s in front of you for October, you will need energy and effort to combat or take advantage of any sudden solar winds in your direction.  You must take care and attention in your workplace or business in October with Energy and Effort.

Care & Consideration:  I cannot tell you about any impending triumphs or pitfalls coming in October.  To combat the ambiguity, you must take Care and Consideration with your loved ones.  Keep your eyes and heart vigilant to spot the needs of people around you.
When you are driving through foggy weather, you must be vigilant and cautious.  Good luck stoner Capricorn.  I will continue to look out for you daily.

Capricorn September 2015

Capricorn stoner, negative solar headwinds will continue to obstruct your pursuit of happiness in September.  Last month was a tough month because of previous decisions and actions that you had made.  Problems came at you like glass shards from a broken pipe.  The source of September’s negativity is not your fault.  The fault is in the stars my smoking goat, and there is nothing you can do about it, especially blame yourself.

Unfortunately, “negative solar headwinds” paints a warm and light picture for your September journey.  September will be more like walking through a field of landmines.  You cannot do anything to avoid this field, and you must walk through it.  This will be a bleak and challenging time for the stoner Capricorn.  There is one defensive weapon that you possess that will help you make it through the celestial land mines of September, strength.

You can make it through this month unscathed by harnessing all of your strength.  The sacred herb will be like a shield for the Capricorn.  Prepare yourself with spiritual meditation.  All of your strength will be required to take the hits from the land mines.  Strength in emotions, physical stamina, and mental acuity must be built up and harnessed to make it through September.

I don’t like delivering these warnings to you stoner Capricorn.  Challenging periods like this will help you appreciate the periods of free flowing positivity.  Be strong my fellow cannabis companion.