Category Archives: Capricorn

The Stoner Capricorn will light up any smoke circle. This goat is a great cannabis companion for any smoke spot adventure.

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Capricorn September 2016

Stoner Capricorn, there are warning signs on the road:  “Danger – Catch 22 Ahead.”  Circular logic, catch 22, chasing your tail, these are all cliches that represent the traps I see laid in front of the stoner Capricorn in the September time period.  This warning is not particularly dangerous, but care and attention must be given to stay on a positive progressive life path.

Put down the indica strain for September, and find yourself some energetic sativa.  Energy will be at lower levels in September stoner Capricorn.  You must fight complacency and stagnation.  Energetic trips with cannabis companions and organized meditative sessions with the sacred herb will keep you on target.

How do you avoid chasing your tail?  Attention and diligence are required from you stoner Capricorn, especially regarding your decision making in September.  In both work and play, you must pay attention and make logical decisions.  If you run a business then critical questions require answering before impactful decisions are made.  If you are a corporate warrior then make sure you are driving in a known direction because time mismanagement could take you noticeably off the road.

These warnings hold true for your personal life as well.  Take the time to care and love your family and close friends.  Contemplating memories and enjoying past experiences will help you make decisions and lead your loved ones to new positive adventures.

Capricorn August 2016

Stoner Capricorn!  Your determination and positive attitude set you in a class of your own.  This year has not been easy, but you have survived negative influences and dark clouds to be born again into the wash of sunlight in August.  You are being rewarded this month stoner Capricorn.  Relax and embrace the fruit of your energy.

Reading the machinations of the cosmos is hard enough.  Actually living in this world of vibes, emotions, stellar clouds, and lunar influences are the hardest work of all.  August will bring a calm chill moment in the swirling storm of the universe for the stoner Capricorn.  This calm chill period should be recognized just as much as those dark cloudy periods you traveled through earlier in the year.  Embrace the hot summer month with confidence.  Allow the sacred herb and cannabis companions into your life without fear that they will get in the way of your determined life goals.  There is no one cannabis strain to recommend this month stoner Capricorn.  Embrace all that goes along with floating on a still mountain lake on a summer morning.

Warning, you can disturb this calm chill mountain lake.  Don’t get too cocky.  In this calm chill period, you must participate in life and not lead it.  Loved ones and cannabis companions are not coming from the same centered cosmic place as you are in August.  Take care of yourself and recharge your life cycle batteries, but don’t push people to your whims.  I leave you with the immortal words of the great poet and philosopher Biggie Smalls, “Relax and take notes.  While I take tokes on the marijuana smoke.”  Take time to be a chill being stoner Capricorn.

Capricorn July 2016

Namaste, stoner Capricorn.  If you choose the path of least resistance this July you will find yourself in a beautiful yet, intriguing frame of mind.  This does not mean you should be lax or indecisive as you are the master of your own universe and must continue forward.  It simply means go with the flow don’t force things and all should prevail nicely.  Keep your favorite hybrid around this month and utilize for deep meditation sessions.

As with any meditation or yoga practice, one must find your breath.  In all areas of your life this month Cap, you must breathe into them to keep them healthy.  By finding your breath you will revitalize your work and your home life.  In your working world, it is best to stay working.  Cover for your co-workers when they need a break and take the extra time to establish the good strong relationships you need as you move up the ladder.  If you are already at the top of the ladder now is time to show compassion and be flexible, not demanding and expectant.

You personally need that nice long, medicated yoga session in for yourself stoner, Capricorn.  This month you must put yourself first.  Self-care is not selfishness.  If the energies of the cosmos are making you feel high strung grab your life partner and get outdoors for some exercise.  If you have burnt the candle at both ends maybe you need to relax at home on your porch.  Either way take time for yourself and your special someone this July with a nice medible and watch the beautiful sunset.  Being in nature now will kindle many positive vibes  that last all summer long.

Capricorn June 2016

Stoner Capricorn the month of June is a unique period for you.  The universe is taking a break on influencing your life and emotions in any meaningful way.  I have no news of cosmic good luck or warnings about cosmic headwinds.  However, as you travel to the dark side of the moon, please heed these words:  The cosmos only influences the journey, you determine the path.

When I look deep into the cosmic vacuum of June for the stoner Capricorn, I see a beautiful pond.  Without water flowing into and out of the pond, the water will become stagnant.  This stagnation will lead to algae and scum growth sucking the oxygen out of the pond.  However, if you tend to your pond and circulate the water it will maintain its life and beauty.  The sacred herb can help you see your pond stoner Capricorn.  Meditative sessions with the sacred herb are encouraged in June, especially when the focus is on the maintenance required to keep oxygen flowing into your pond.

Without the influences of the cosmos in matters of the heart, your love life with cannabis companions and family may seem boring at times.  The month of June is a great time to focus on yourself stoner Capricorn.  Think of your family and cannabis companions as fish in your pond.  You must take the time to tend to your pond to keep the oxygen levels right.  The healthier you are then the more your family and cannabis companions will thrive around you.

Capricorn May 2016

Stoner Capricorn, are you familiar with the multiverse?  Scientific theories state that our universe is merely one of an infinite number of universes all connected and yet completely separate.  This theory implies that you have experienced every kind of human ambition and experience that is known to us because there are infinite versions of this world and yourself.  Early in the month of May, it would be wise to place yourself in a creative space with your favorite and most creative strain of the sacred herb.  Use this session to contemplate all the different versions of yourself that have walked Earth in another universe.

The cosmos is going to bring rain instead of flowers for you in May stoner Capricorn.  But it will rain positive creative drops from the universe.  Now more than ever, you should step outside of yourself and find creative methods of thinking and decision making.  The period of May will reward you with bold and creative action.  If you are an entrepreneur then this might mean bold action in marketing, a new branch of products, or changing processes and systems.  Only you will know.  If you are a nut or bolt in the corporate machine, understand that you are powerful and your creativity can reach beyond your position and station.  Don’t be afraid to speak up and present your ideas.

Please stoner Capricorn, take this meditation of creativity and universal understanding to heart regarding your loved ones.  There may be an infinite number of pasts and presents, but you only have yourself here and now.  Cherish your loved ones and cannabis companions, and you will reap the blessings of this world.

Capricorn April 2016

Stoner Capricorn, the month of April begins an expansive period for your personal growth.  You made it through the rough winter, and you have basked in the glow of cosmic fortune.  You are now entering a period where the lessons of the past will benefit your current and future self.  The sacred herb can help you on this journey.  Meditative smoke sessions should be focused on internal self-confidence and belief.

The word “expansion” keeps coming to mind when I think of the cosmic gift presented to you in April stoner Capricorn.  This word can apply to so many things for you this month.  Expansion of the way you perceive yourself in the universe.  You are a powerful being.  This could be the first step towards influencing the environment around you more positively than you have ever contemplated.  Expansion of your business or job.  Now is the time to invest in yourself or your business.  Now is the time to vocalize your ideas and demonstrate leadership.  Perhaps a meditative session with an edible will help you visualize the expansion I am telling you about.  At the core, I am speaking about the expansion of how you see and love yourself.

Test yourself in April.  Be decisive and bold.  Stand behind your opinions and research.  Lead your cannabis companions and lovers.  Now is the time to break out of your shell and spread your beautiful wings.

Capricorn March 2016

Capricorn stoner, you have come a long way.  You have traveled through the scorching pain of the hot cosmic valleys and risen with much elation to the peaks of positive cosmic influences.  March may just wrap up your past year all in one month!  Life is all about perspective Capricorn stoner.  Dramatic situations can always be worse and better at the same time.  In march, life will become all about how you manage the dramatic events that have the potential of overwhelming you.  You know yourself better than anyone.  You must use the sacred herb as a tool in your life at this point.  Selection of the appropriate time and strength of indulgences will be key to riding the emotional waves of March.

Perspective and patience in the work place are vital in March.  The drama will find you, but you are in control of how you react and influence emotional events.  Keep a keen eye on your emotions when dealing with conflict.  Sometimes letting something sit to approach or tackle in the future is the best option versus meeting something head on with emotions of the moment.
Warning:  Don’t get swept up with your cannabis companions in March.  Keeping an even temperament with emotions is crucial to diffuse negative dramatic events, but this same philosophy must be employed to keep you from leaping into situations you might later regret.  Well, regret is a harsh term I don’t like to use, but we must keep a responsible head when our emotions want to take us into the clouds.

Capricorn February 2016

Stoner Capricorn, February brings an amazing opportunity.  The planets have aligned in such a way that the Stoner Capricorn will face no negative influences in February.  The only requirement to take advantage of this cosmic blessing is positive thinking and meditation.

Come with me stoner Capricorn as we imagine your place in the universe in February.  You are on a sailboat.  Behind you is the swirling black clouds of negative emanations from 2015.  You can see the beautiful white lightning strikes of your efforts to push through the storm with positivity.  Now here you rest gently in calm waters.  There is no warm cosmic wind to push you forward, nor a cosmic headwind to fight against.  In front of you is the horizon, a blank canvas that you can paint any image you want.

The sacred herb will take you to magical places in February stoner Capricorn.  Look out onto the horizon.  Where do you want to go?  Who do you want to spend time with?  Meditation and a positive attitude will allow you to paint and plan a wonderful vision of March.  The calm seas will only last for so long, stoner Capricorn, you have to take advantage of the soothing properties of the sacred herb and meditation in February.  Action will come in March.
The only challenge in February will come from your own mind stoner Capricorn.  Some may see lack of motion as stagnation.  Fighting the calm seas will get you nowhere.  Chill, you deserve a break from battle.  February is an opportunity to recharge your batteries and heal your soul.

Capricorn January 2016

Capricorn stoner, January will be a time for deep space travel.  You will lose contact with the cosmic winds that usually swing you from one planetary emotion to another.  You are going to travel to the dark side of the moon in January, and all cosmic communications will be lost.  You will withstand this dark period with the sacred herb as your guide and me as your faithful cannabis companion.

Do not read this horoscope as an ominous fortune.  Stoner Capricorn, you have an amazing opportunity in front of you.  When the seas are calm and the cosmic winds dissipate, you have a tremendous opportunity to travel deep inside yourself.  January will be the perfect time to focus on you, and your inner self.  Powerful sacred herbal edibles and a quiet house will combine to be your space vehicle as you travel to the depth of your own psyche on a mission of discovery and growth.  Grab your writing journal.  Every space adventure needs a mission log.

Be forewarned.  Do not try to accomplish larger goals within your work and personal life in January.  The harder you try to push forward the more risk you take for negative reactions.  Capricorn stoner, you must let go of the fight in January.  Everything will be just fine with a light hand of management.

End of transmission:  God’s speed

Capricorn December 2015

Stoner Capricorn, life has not been easy has it?  I thank you for continuing to read the Stoner Horoscope even though I keep giving you the bad news from the cosmos.  All of the hard work you have put in these past few months are finally starting to pay off.  All of those tough moments and obstacles you have endured can start to be cleared from your mental inventory.  December is a positive time for you stoner Capricorn!  Celebrate with the finest of green goodness, the stickiest of the kind, and the most enlightening of the sacred herb.  December is a period of wildly productive creativity and positive social impacts.

All of the tools you used to battle the searing cosmic wind the past few months will now propel you forward in this time of universal harmony.  Business and work may seem easy at times this month.  The stars have placed no obstacles in your way.  However, this period of low resistance may actually create your undoing.  Even though I envision a positive time for you, stoner Capricorn, you must not forget where you have come from.  All of those battles in the past few months will serve you well if you keep the fighting spirit.  Simple communication and attention will solve all of your problems, but laziness will bring back old foes.

Smoke a bowl and meditate on your inner self.  You are a beautiful person.  It’s time to bring your inner butterfly into the daylight.  This period of cosmic peace will allow you to put your imprint on your friends and family.  You have the power to bring happiness to others just by being you.