Category Archives: Cancer

The Stoner Cancer is a problem solver. This agile crab is often the best cannabis companion for advice.

iTunes
Google Play

Want a notification each month? Check out the podcast version of the horoscope!

Cancer January 2017

Stoner Cancer, you have much to look forward to in 2017.  Allow your discerning attitude to lead you and you will find beautiful success this month.  Many will be there to lend a hand.  January is not a month to take risks or indulge too much in any one appeasement.  There will be time for that later in the year!  Find a nice Hybrid and use for reflection and meditation.

The personal life of the stoner Crab will be mellow this month.  My only note for you to harken is:  Open your heart as wide as possible.  When dealing with those closest to you enjoy a bit of the sacred herb and allow your highest self to emerge during the conversation.  Let your ego be a watcher and not the leader during these events.  The friends, family or lovers you engage with may have information for you that will not jive well with your ego.  Do listen to it, but do not take it to heart at this time.  It is in fact, them and not you.  Do not tuck tail and run from it as you would normally.  This information will enlighten you in many ways in the upcoming months.

Your working world will be abundant in many ways this month my cannabis companion.  Do keep love and work separate.  The cosmos have lined up with many opportunities for you.  Be discerning and take the one that you know is best.  Be mindful of those around you at the office or workplace.  Do not fall for traps no matter how pretty the packaging is.  Take the time to look deep within yourself before making any life altering decisions that you cannot take back.  Other than that, work will be busy and you will find yourself reorganizing your space to be more efficient in the months to come.

Cancer December 2016

The month of December 2016 will prove to test your limits my stoner Crab.  You will need two very different strains for different reasons this month.  Your daytime hours will be filled with detective work and logical thinking, ergo utilize a high strain of sativa.  Whereas your evenings need to be reserved for the feeling state use the indicas liberally.

Your days will be filled with diagnostic and logical thinking.  In the beginning of December, the stoner Cancer needs to dig deep, look at all things from every angle.   Your hard work from the fall is paying off and you will be blessed with a decision to make.  Do not be hasty or indulgent and do not solely rely on your emotional house of opinions in this matter.  Not that you should rule out your heart, but you need to think logically about your next steps and all that goes with it.  Your work will be cut out for you, but, with the sacred sativa to help guide you and the decision will be easier to make.

Your social life may be a bit problematic if you do not look at it from your heart center.  Here is where the indica will be of some help.  Allow yourself to take a toke or two and meditate on opening your heart Chakra.  This will enable you to feel the vibrations of others and will help you decide how to be around them.   This knowledge will come in quite handy with family gatherings.  Be aware of any possible problematic conversations and segway yourself out of them as quick as possible.  Then go see your friends and truly relax this holiday season!

Cancer November 2016

Arrogance and pride need to step aside in the lives and minds of the stoner Cancers.  You are quite knowledgeable on these ego driven shields my cannabis companions.  Even though you wield these emotional tools well; your focus should be on self-actualization and allowance for the entire month of November.  When I say allowance I am referring to:  Allowing yourself to be in the moment, be forgiving of yourself and of others.  Be loving in the same manner.  By doing so you will only increase your self-actualization that you need to reach by the end of this November.

In your personal life take the time to be with your family.  If you are lucky enough to have a family of tokers, break out the hookah and enjoy a weekend of bonding.  If there is any discord within your family address it immediately.  You need all those who love you on your side this month.  Their love and strength will help you ascend to levels of consciousness you have only ever dreamed of.

The working world of the stoner Crab will require much discernment.  It is imperative that you take the time to meditate with the sacred herb in regards to your work in November 2016.  There is much on your plate and you have the talent to accomplish each task at hand.  The problem herein lies: You are only one person, you will need your colleagues and you must pick the most appropriate projects to work on.  Do not be tricked into thinking the ones you choose are not the proper ones.  Trust in yourself and watch what can be done.  
November may be immensely overwhelming for you stoner, Cancer.  Do not fret!  What lies at the end of this month is worth every moment.  Do your best to enjoy this new process.

Cancer October 2016

As with September, stoner Cancers will have an October that could possibly be filled with nuances of dissonance in the musical we call life.  It is time to break out the 90’s grunge, a freshly filled water pipe and remember exactly how to flow around the sounds that by themselves may not be so appealing.  Remember that all discord is challenging us to see things differently.  Try your best to allow all the dirty chords to work together with the chorus and clouds of days gone high.

Do you remember the time when the Alice in Chains song “Man in the Box” felt like your life’s theme song?  Do whatever you can to not slide back down to that point in your life.  Look out for the groupies that want to steer you there.  Even if those groupies are your favorite co-workers.  Just don’t do it.  You will not become rich, or get the girl or win a medal by being sucked into the billows of betrayal.  My stoner Crab you have worked incredibly hard to get to this point in your life.  You can find a way to amicably avoid this probability and make ends meet too.  Meditate with a nice hybrid and it will all become more clear to you on which path you should choose.

In your world of personal relationships, all may seem well Cancer.  This October you need to pay attention to the little things.  You are not out of place by questioning others intents.  If you are not paying attention; those envious of you will sneak up on you like a crescendo: smooth and fast.  While deep contemplation with the sacred herb is important this month so is your ability to respond.  Do not over indulge.  You are a vibrant and vivacious person. Enjoy yourself and let nobody bring you down.  All in all, you can easily have a great month. I simply had to tell you of the possible mishaps lurking in the shadows.  Be strong my cannabis companion, but most importantly be the best version of you.  Remember the cosmos are here to support you if you allow them to.

Cancer September 2016

September 2016 is a time for the stoner Cancer to sit back and watch.  Allow this month to be one of more relaxation than action.  Keep an indica heavy hybrid available for moments when your anxiety becomes overwhelming.  The stoner Cancer is almost always easy going, but this month you will find yourself being stretched in new ways.  Go with the flow.

Feel the rhythm of work and note how it is different.  Do not fight it as it will only cause you mishaps and hurdles that were not meant to be in your way.  Keep the dugout close for moments like these.  Contemplate, watch, and devise a plan before act!  You will find that even the simplest of your routine tasks are asking to be done in a different way.  If you keep your anxieties at bay you will find a way to shine this month in your world of work.

By going with the flow you will easily maneuver around any possible “impending doom” scenarios in your personal realm.  If you are spending time with meditation and the sacred herb you will be more open to the vibrations around you.  Feel situations out before accepting the invitation.  If it does not suit who you avoid it at all costs in September.  As for your partners in affection remember to take the time to reconnect.  Especially if you have been feeling off-kilter.  Remember to leave your ego at the door as it is merely your hard shell.  Your lover does not deserve to have to try and penetrate through it.  Be open and kind, then relax and unwind!

Cancer August 2016

Last month my stoner Cancer you were put to the test.  This month, my cannabis companion, you get to show off all your lessons learned.  In fact, the cosmos are shining so bright on you that you won’t feel any negative impact in August!  Bask in this glorious light and really enjoy your month.  August 2016 is a time you will reflect back on happily so live it up!

Goals are a wonderful thing to have this month.  Pick a handful of your most desired goals and go after them.  You will surely surprise your colleagues with the deftness in your ability to not only complete but surpass expectations of completed projects.  Be pleasant and kind to your naysayers it will prove to be helpful in the months to come for you dear Crab.  In fact, you will so easily achieve your goals that you will have extra time at work.  Take a smoke break with a colleague that seems downward trodden they could use your uplifting spirit to get them through this month.

That zing you are feeling from work will spill over into your personal life.  Stoner Cancer you will have your strongest desires met if you allow them to be.  Your world of Love in August will be fascination and will rain down affection.  It will be up to you whom you spend your time with and why.  Make time for friends and family, not just your admirers and you will have a splendid and joyous month!  Do yourself a favor and keep your vape packed and ready.  You will find you have the opportunity to have deep meaningful conversations that the sacred herb will guide you well in.

Cancer July 2016

This month is K.E.E. for you, stoner Cancer:  K for Karma, E for education and E for execution.  July 2016 is a month that you will need to have great faith in yourself.  Believe in yourself no matter how many falls may come to you.  If you have lived an honest and forthcoming past, this month will only propel you further.  Whereas if you have led a life  of deceit you will see a reckoning by the end of July.

Be a low “K.E.E.” employee this month.  Especially inside the office walls.  Do not go over-the-top on your projects.  Be ruthlessly consistent and extremely observant at all times. Do this and you should navigate yourself through July with few problems.  Having good self-esteem will be a plus as you may have a few hits to the ego coming your way via the cosmos.  Do not let them get you down.  You are and have been on the right track for some time now.  Unless of course, you have not been living your truth.  Karma will come and set things right this month. Ergo, it may be best to leave the pipe at home, for now, my stoner Crab.  You have many educational lessons to partake in; it is best to be on top of your game.

Many of the cosmos inflicted lessons you learn this month can be put to practical use in your personal life.  July brings great satisfaction and new facets in the emotional sphere.  If a change is something you are craving:  Execute the lessons you’ve learned and take a hold of a new way of thinking.  This new thought process will inevitably bring new and interesting persons into your life for love & friendship.  Though you may not have a lot of time off this month, do make time to pass the sacred herb with your newly found cannabis companions and cement the new relationships like  hempcrete.  They are here for the long run.

Cancer June 2016

I have one word for my stoner Cancer companions:  Abundant!  Welcome, the positive vibes that the cosmos are sending you this June with open arms and an open heart.  You will be overjoyed with the beauty that will come your way.  Every turn of this summer month brings a reward you’ve been waiting for; not to mention a steady stream of the sacred herb.  

The time has come for you to fully embrace your leadership role at work.  Find the role you need to play by looking at things from an outside perspective.  It will seem like magic when the realization that you can “fix” this, hits you square.  Utilize your co-workers, divide the tasks and lead the way as a team.  Be sure to allow for creativity breaks and listen to your heart and your co-workers this month and you will be flying “high” by mid-month.  If you must medicate at work do so as sparingly as possible.  Your juices are flowing and so is your health.

BOOM! Just when you thought fireworks were reserved for special occasions you are hit with an explosive amount of swagger.  For the single Crab, you will find yourself blessed with a bevy of beautiful opportunities for love this June.  Explore these possibilities at length and share the sacred herb with each potential partner.  It will help reveal more to you all about your paths for the future.  For the stoner Cancer that is attached: The size and longevity of your fireworks this month is entirely up to you.  If you stay your true course and allow things to unfold you will be pleasantly surprised by the amount of love you receive at home.  I say break out the hookah and have a grand finale get together with all your closest buds the last week of the month.  The summer of 2016 is off to a good start for you!

Cancer May 2016

Stoner Cancer’s Checklist for May of 2016:

_ Full Supply of Indica/Sativa hybrid
_ Supportive Friends
_ Ego in check

These three things are exactly what you need to have a blissful May my stoner Cancer.  In both love and work you will have a good amount of time to enjoy your endeavours.  This does not mean you can slack off in either part of your life, it simply means you can enjoy it!  Keep your pipe close by and have fun with all that the month of May offers.

In your love life keep your heart as open as possible.  If you are in a lovership, your partner needs you this month and you should not take anything personally.  (Keep your ego checked at the door.)  Be kind and help them unwind with a nice sesh where you can help them hash out the situation and you will be highly rewarded.  The single Crabs will need to lean on, not just the sacred herb, but your friends this month as well.  That close circle of friends is what will propel you into a better view of yourself.  Thus, readying you for that new someone who is about to enter your world very soon.

A blissful working world is all yours!  It can only be undone by not paying attention.  Learn as much as you can about your personal position, the company in which you work, and your co-workers.  This knowledge will help you greatly if anyone tries to sweep the rug out from under you.  Idle hands are the devil’s playground or so the saying goes.  Keep busy and yes my stoner Cancer this working month will be like a nice ride in the dabbiest of clouds.  

Cancer April 2016

When is the last time you had a true and forcefully positive life change stoner Crab? Well, April may be just the month for it to happen.  The cosmos have aligned just so that you’ll be feeling positive and productive.  Take full advantage of the vivacious energies headed your way by sticking to a sativa and be amazed at all you will accomplish!

The working world for the cannabis-loving Cancer will undergo some major changes this month.  The life force you feel will help you adapt and conquer any and all challenges.  Do your best to remain open to all ideas.  With so much going on in your daily routine it may be best to lay the pipe down at work or use it minimally  when you need to heighten your creative side.  Let the universal vibes work their magic through you and all will fall nicely into place.

With work being all a blazed in positivity be certain to pay attention to your loved ones when at home.  If you don’t you could find yourself in a sticky situation that has nothing to do with dabs.  Keeping your eyes and heart open will help you negate any potential problems. Use your intuition and maybe meditate with a nice indica with your special someone.  It will help alleviate any stress and allow open communication thus keeping April on the ups.  You won’t escape personal usurps just because you’re single.  Take the latter info and apply it to your circle of friends.  If you heed this advice your April will be a blissful cloud riding month!