Aries

The Stoner Aries explores the world with a daring boldness. No cannabis strain is feared or untried.

iTunes
Google Play

Want a notification each month? Check out the podcast version of the horoscope!

Aries March 2016

If you thought that the month of March would bring relaxation to your world my stoner Aries, guess again.  March is brimming with endless possibilities and they all revolve around how much you put into them.  The positive possibilities are endless in all areas of your life if you choose the proper actions this month.

Your love life holds the most potential for upsets this March.  This is not a month to sit back and watch as it unfolds.  You will find yourself wanting to say a lot of things.  May I suggest that you smoke about it, then go about it carefully?  You may yen for immediate and cutthroat words to put an end to an unkind situation, but, you must still be kind or you’ll never win.  Whatever you do in regards to your love life do not take a back seat. There is fun to be had stoner Ram, but will have to make it!

One thing you’ve come to know over the years is that the universe owes you nothing but will bring you everything if you allow it.  Your working world needs a bit of an adjustment in order to reap the rewards you seek.  Stick with a sativa if you must medicate during working hours as you will need to stay as active as possible over the next three weeks.  If you feel the need for a break go out to lunch or make time to meditate with the sacred herb at home after your work is done.  You have a lot to accomplish in order to heed the success you’ve been working towards.  By the end of the month, I believe you will feel a great sense of accomplishment!  Now go get ’em Ram!

Aries February 2016

February is going to be laden with situations that are as heavy and thick as the wax you put in your vape this month, stoner Aries.   Alas, you will prevail in any debacle & soar through the best of times because you have a loving circle of supporters at your fingertips.  Lean on the sacred herb for support in your daily adventures.  A nice hybrid that leans on the indica side should suit you nicely during this cold month.

Your love life will be quite interesting this month, Aries.  Your number one job is to pay attention to others feelings and intentions.  Find the bliss between fiery carnal passion and solid heartfelt care this month and you will truly win in love.  Utilizing your vape pen will help ignite the passion, but be wary of the simple physical attraction. You are a complex person and need both physical and emotional stimulation to truly be at peace with your choice in lovers.  Whatever you choose you will have fun, that I do wholeheartedly see in your future.

Are you restless and flitting to and fro at work?  Don’t mind it much.  Yes, there will be bumps in the road.  Do your best to find where you can truly utilize your talents and then head off in that direction.  Do not waste time analyzing the naysayers reactions. Sneak a toke, smile and go on your own way.  This is a month where your actions in any realm will speak volumes.

Choose to look at your debacles as nothing more than a simple hurdle and they will be easily overcome and you can puff your way into a nice March.

Aries January 2016

Breathe in that crisp winter air my Stoner Aries.  It will awaken your senses and fill your soul with much needed fresh start!  You should find yourself positive and bursting with energy all month long.  From outings with your favorite buds to cuddle time in front of the fire blazing away a long work day.  January 2016 will be giving you a new outlook on your life.

Work will be work dearest cannabis companion.  Depending on your position will depend on how you feel about this  month.  It will be a month to play catch up on all loose ends and finish those piles of paperwork.  You should be good to go with a lil hybrid in your vape and some groovy tunes in your soul.  Be sure to cross all your t’s and dot those i’s as if you do not it will come back 10 fold in at tax time.

Your love life in 2015 was a bit shaky to say the least.  For those of you who ended a relationship recently be prepared to meet an influential person this January.  This new emotional connection may start up cool at the beginning of the month but will be blazing like a torch to your dab rig by the end of the month.  The only other side to this you will be facing your innermost fears.  You can and will burn each one down.

Aries December 2015

Stoner Aries, you’ve been looking for a break for months.  Get ready as December 2015 is your lucky month!  Beautiful developments will be flowing around you like clouds of vape.  Finally something is giving for you Ram!  Do not get too swept up in the excitement as you will need to pay attention in order to keep things positive.  For example:  Your working world will be all a buzz.  Keep the sativa handy as you will need your wits about you.  At this time you will need to be open minded my cannabis companion or you will create negativity.  Look at all your options before making a decision.  Then seize every opportunity that fits your long term goals and work like you’ve never worked before.  You will see great things happen and new platforms to jump off of.

Emotional satisfaction will come easily to you stoner Aries.  Ram Dass says it best: “Be Here Now”.  That is exactly what you will need to do everyday this month in regards to your personal relationships.  Focus on what it is you need and want.  Don’t be surprised if you have to make a decision that your family does not consider in your best interest.  You know what is best for you.  Stick to your guns.

As for your love life: Your partner will be very giving, be sure to give in return and things will be as blissful as an indica laden gravy.  For those unattached you will find great moments with potential lovers all month. (Be Here Now with an Open mind!!)

Aries November 2015

My dearest Stoner Ram, before we have this talk you need to grab your bat and dug out. Got it?  Good.  Now pack it and hit it a few times before we delve into the forecast for November.

Are you ready for the most intense tests of 2015? Breathe in positivity, breathe out anxieties.  Do it now.

The month of November is going to be difficult to say the very least.  You must decide now that these tests will only allow you to prevail into a sea of goodness.  Yes you will hurdle these circumstances, but you MUST go through them.  There is no other way.

In your world of work stoner Aries prepare for some minor upsets if you own your own business.  If you prepared and saved you will overcome the small inconveniences of malfunctioning office machines and employee upsets.  If you did not you will be at a loss.  If you are in the midst of working for someone else you need to mentally prepare for negativity from your boss.  Some of this is due to your past performance, the rest is due to the pressures on them.  Keep your head up, stick to your guns and keep the sticky stuff in your vape.  These tests will eventually pay off in the long run.  Do not heed the quick easy pay off this month you will lose.

The love life of the stoner Ram will be the most trying.  Hit that bat again my smoking companion.  Now inhale deeply:

The lessons you will learn about yourself and your love life will be earth shattering this month.  Borrow the spirit of the Phoenix and know you will rise from the ashes more alive and better off.  You need to take a stance.  Find time to meditate with a nice hybrid and make that decision that will ultimately put you in a better position.  It will be fiercely difficult, but you must stand your ground.  You must make this decision to better your life for you and those you love.  Your friends will be there for you. Although this is a journey they cannot join you in. Your mantra this month needs to be: I am stronger than they know.  Remember you can and will get through this Aries.  Things always get better and you will too.

Aries October 2015

You won’t need a highly psychoactive strain of sacred herb this month my stoner Aries.  Strap yourself in,  its going to be a vivid journey for you this fine fall month of October.  For starters your working world will become very clear to you.  Taking charge and getting the tasks done will be your main goal.  You will also be given a lot of leeway in how you choose to get these goals achieved.  Keep in mind to be kind, as you may see yourself faced with a decision to remove a team member.  This team member is a good man, but not up to the tasks at hand.  One of your tasks may be to put together the most productive team possible.  This time you must follow logic.

If the long hours of work have you longing for that dab of relaxation, October will prove to be a well balanced time in that aspect.  Stoner Aries, you will have more opportunities to bask in the glory of love than you may be able to dream up.  You will feel right in que with your partner or potential partner(s) this month. Be sure not to overwhelm them with this all at once. Spread out your love over the entire month.  Savor it like your favorite medible and enjoy the ride.

Aries September 2015

Are you ready for a fast paced high energy month Aries?  Yes Stoner Ram, you will be bristling with good vibes and a “in it to win it” attitude.  Keep stretching your abilities in your working world as September is the month for you to grow and bask in the sun.  This does not mean that there will not be challenges so stick with the motivating sativa and keep the new ideas rolling.  Your partners or managers are there and will help you with anything you want this month.  Communication will be the key to attaining your newly amassed goals.

My stoner Aries you will be swimming with a magnitude of energy that will need to be released.  Get the vape pen ready for a good long solo hike.  You will need daily exercise to help you expend some of this energy or you will overwhelm those you love most.  Remember, not everyone will be as high in the sky as you at the beginning of Autumn.  So get out there and cleanse your soul with some good old fashioned time with mother nature!  Now is the time to open  your mind to new spiritual and emotional experiences in love.  Sure date nights are great, but you can go to a movie anytime.  Try something different and watch your soul grow.  Hit the beach by day and watch the stars with a nice hybrid by night.  The closeness you can achieve with your lover this month is limitless.

Aries August 2015

My dearest stoner Aries, prepare yourself for a unsettling month in August 2015.  You will be whipped around by strong energy forces.  Some positively unnerving events will be hoisted upon you and you must do everything in your power to find balance.  Your job this month will be to find and maintain an inner calm.  Take part in the sacred herb during your quiet and meditative times.  Lean on it when all else seems to be raining on your parade.

Work will be your respite if you can manage to keep your wits about you.  Take on new tasks or projects to keep your mind focused.  If I may suggest; look into a mild sativa to keep your energy levels working for you during your working hours.  Your creative energies will be flowing and will not need any extra push from strains of indica.  Be sure to utilize your energy efficiently as you will need much on the home front.

Brace yourself Ram and do not charge.  It will be a difficult month in terms of your relationships.  Be sure to give yourself a lot of time to meditate in August.  Expect many upsets and most importantly do not allow yourself to become outraged or angry.  Do your best to see each situation as just that:  As they say in Jamaica “There are no problems, only situations”.  For you, Aries, this is true.  You have the ability to overcome everything that August throws at you.  Be calm and Dab on this month when you are away from work.  Be kind no matter how awful your friends, family or lovers may be and you will come out on top.

Aries July 2015

It seems that much of the life energy from June will flow over into July for you my stoner Aries.  Use this energy to guide you down the paths that mean the most to you.  Though you may have a lot to decide in the working world, your personal life will be an irrefutable cloud of vape!

Speaking of working, Ram, you will be doing a lot of it this month.  As I see it, you will be good to go on finishing your projects in a timely manner.  Thus bringing upon you more opportunities from those who are your partners or managers.  You need to look at all of these opportunities and choose only one.  Grab your bag of trees and find a mellow place to do some reflective thinking before making your decision.  Trust your intuition and give that one decision your all.

The word I believe you will use this month in regards to your personal life will be, to say the least, blissful.  This is the month you will feel as though everyone is on your page.  If you have the time and resources to take a nice long vacation, do so!  If that is not an option for you; surround yourself with your cannabis companions on the weekends at a nice peaceful place and relax.  The energies of your love life are calling for you to enjoy.  When is the last time you hiked that trail that leads to your favorite cave? It is time to update your social connections as well as your connections with our dear mother earth.

Aries June 2015

This is positively your month to shine my dear stoner Aries!  Be prepared to feel the unyielding life force pumping through your veins.  You will have many celebrations and many opportunities coming your way!  Your biggest challenge will be to reign in the energy you are receiving and put it to work for the better of your life this month.

Your love life is exceptional in June!  The enormity of events that will play out this month will change you forever my stoner Ram.  This is true for both the single and attached Aries.  Following your heart has never felt so good.  Ride those dab clouds and don’t look down! There may be a few minor disagreements but do not take them to heart as they will resolve themselves easily.  Play your cards right and the Summer Solstice will be more than just a celebration of the season; It will be a celebration of you!

Work, work, work!  Yes, you do have to work my cannabis companion.  Although, it in no way will be a downer this month.  You will have to focus all the energy within you into decisiveness and creativity as you will simply be bombarded with opportunities in June.  Do not try to take them all or you will simply be breaking your own back.  Take time to meditate with a nice sativa on the ones that appeal to you most.  Then pick the ones that will benefit you both soulfully and financially.  These decisions are laying down a nice platform for you, so why not enjoy the work you do!  If you own your own company pay attention to what your employees are doing.  Is your handbook up to date?  Make sure all policies are being upheld.  If you are working for the man it is the month to take initiative!  Start making headway for the trip up the ladder my friend!